


Seeker of the Nora

by VidalsQueen



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Masturbation, Multiple Pairings, Oral Sex, POV Multiple, Romance, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sexual Tension, Voyeurism, mutual voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-02-08 17:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 146,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12869436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VidalsQueen/pseuds/VidalsQueen
Summary: This story will stick mostly to cannon with slight deviations.And, yes, you read right.Aloy and NilAloy and ErendAloy and Avad(As of March 14th, the story will begin to undergo some needed editing. Nothing in the story is changing, so no worries there. Simply seeking out typos, tense changes and such. So if you come across them, feel free to point them out to me.)





	1. Preparing for the Proving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we begin Aloy's story and she has her first encounter with Erend.
> 
> #Ereloy

Aloy couldn’t believe her eyes or her ears. She had seen the city, Mother’s Heart, many times but only from a distance. As an Outcast, she had never been allowed to breach the gates. She had spent her entire life within the Embrace, sticking to the outlying villages for trade and supplies, when she found those actually willing to speak to her. Those were very few and far between. Speaking to an Outcast could land one with the status themselves, and no one wanted that. So it was no surprise when she heard all of the commotion in the city and thought something huge was taking place. 

She wasn’t wrong. 

The Proving was on the Horizon and an envoy from the Sun-King himself had entered the gates that morning. It was all a little overwhelming. 

To get a better sense of her surroundings, Aloy touched the device she wore on her ear, her Focus. It didn’t help her much, other than to tell her where people had gathered for one reason or another. She only assumed one of these places was where she was meant to be. Mother Teersa’s directions weren’t quite clear. She had informed her that an old friend awaited her presence up the path to her right, but that only served to confuse her even more. She had no friends among the Nora. Even Rost was more a father figure than a friend and the old trader, Karst, was only a friend when no one was looking. 

She decided to find out who this friend might be and was surprised to hear her name coming from the lips of a young merchant. He waved her over and Aloy was tempted to look over her shoulder for someone else, but he had called her name. She was further surprised to find this young man, Teb, was the boy she had saved from a group of Watchers over ten years ago. This was the only person in her nineteen years to have kind words to say to her. She remembered him trying to thank her as a group of older men pulled him away, telling him that she wasn’t worthy of speaking to. The words, "Seal your lips", had echoed in her mind for days, weeks afterward. Apparently, he had waited all this time to thank her properly, assuming she would run in the Proving.

Teb presented her with beautiful hand stitched Nora armor. His kindness stirred something deep inside her and she couldn’t help but smile. She thanked Teb in turn and asked if she could use his stall to change. He allowed it and when she emerged, he told her the new garb suited her. 

She looked down at the new leathers and couldn’t help but think this may be her first step in belonging somewhere. She looked like a Nora Brave. She wasn’t completely sure if that made her happy or sad, or just as lost as she’d always been. 

After she left Teb, she made her way to the first group of people clustered around a fire and listened as they spoke about the coming competition. She was content to stand around listening to all of the new voices, hearing strange nuances in each one. It surprised her to know that voices varied to such an extent. She only had a few to compare them to. 

She had her hands to the fire when one man turned and sneered at her. 

“The Motherless girl,” he growled under his breath. 

She had heard this so many times that she rolled her eyes and walked away. Maybe things weren’t going to change just because she got new clothes. She hadn’t really thought that they would. She began fingering the smooth bone necklace Rost had given her before she had entered the gates. She was already missing his steadfast presence at her side. 

Sighing and centering her thoughts, she flipped the Focus back on and headed to the next group of people, hoping this time it would lead her to where she needed to be. She was about to take a trail leading off to the left when a ruckus began up the hill to her right. The crowd there was nearly as big as the one off to her left, so she headed there instead.

A man in red robes stood on a large porch, using it as a stage. He read from a scroll and Aloy pushed herself to the front of the crowd to hear him above their raised voices. He mentioned something about the new Sun-King. She knew of the Carja, but nothing about their politics. That didn’t seem to be the case with the Nora surrounding her. They began throwing fruit at the man on stage, screaming about killers and slavers. None of it made much sense to her, but she tried to piece it all together.

A man in metal armor stepped in front of the robed man. He was unlike any man Aloy had seen before. His hair was cut into a thick Mohawk and his facial hair was in the oddest beard, running the length of his face but bare on his chin. He was also massive. Most Nora men were lean, their bodies corded with tight muscle, part from habit and diet, but mostly because the Nora were hunters, gatherers. From a young age, all Nora are taught how to run the Brave trails, and they lived for it, training day in and day out to be able to scale mountains, balance on tight wires, and leap long distances. His bulk would surely slow him down on all of those fronts. His muscles stretched the fabric of his tunic every time his arms moved. His skin and eyes were paler than any she’d seen, as well. She was mesmerized by his presence, his commanding demeanor.

She would have stayed, watching and listening to him for as long as he was addressing the crowd, but her Focus pinged detecting a signal. It was the first time it had done so since she was six and found the Focus in the ruins of the Old World and her curiosity over the signal won out over the man in front of her.

She pushed her way through the crowd until she discovered the source of the signal. Another Focus. Aloy couldn’t believe it. She had never seen another person wearing one. Her excitement was short lived as she interrogated the man about his device. He wasn’t willing to talk to her, acting like he wished she would just leave. This struck a deep chord within her. She was used to being shunned, but this man had no reason to do so. She had expected better, or at least different from these strangers. She hadn’t expected to be pushed away by them as well. She wanted to tell the man that he was being unnaturally rude, but a heavy body landing next to her broke her attention.

The heavily armored man, that had just been addressing the crowd, had jumped down from the makeshift stage and landed between her and the man with the device. Up close, the armored man seemed even bigger. His shoulders were almost twice the span of hers and she noticed a massive hammer strapped to them. 

She felt her heartbeat pick up as he made no move to step away from her, allowing his body to loom over hers. Aloy knew enough about what was happening with her body, and there was no denying the man in front of her was attractive, but she didn’t know this man. Yet, when he inched slightly closer she felt her throat tighten and her belly do somersaults. No one had ever stood so close and it felt like an invasion of some sort. He shouldn’t stand so close to her if he didn’t know her. Right?

“Olin,” his voice, no longer booming from the stage, was a slow steady drawl, “making friends with the locals, are we?” It purred with good humor. The sound was rich, thick, deep, and Aloy found herself leaning in slightly wanting to hear it again.

“I’ll… come back,” Olin stated before turning and skittering away from the two of them. 

She couldn't believe it. The man was simply going to run away from her? She moved to go after him, but the armored man stepped into her way before she had a chance to get anywhere.

“Erend, by the way.” He smiled and extended a hand.

“Aloy.” She placed her palm in his gloved one and his fingers around hers made them look tiny in comparison. She quickly pulled away, not wanting his touch to linger, but he didn’t seem to take offense.

Erend pointed out her Focus, making Aloy a bit nervous. The Nora weren’t supposed to delve into the ruins of the Old Ones. But she couldn’t help her curiosity.

“His name is Olin? Who is he? And where did he get one of these?” She gestured to the device just above her ear.

“Eh, he’s just a scrounger with friends in high places. He spends half his time digging for artifacts, the other half drinking or dicing. As for the trinket, I guess he dug it up somewhere. Just a weird old jewel he sticks on his face.” Erend started to laugh, but then stopped, realizing too late he might be offending her. “No offense. Looks great on you.”

Aloy wasn't sure how to respond to that, so she changed the subject. “I thought your friend was going to go down in a hail of fruit, but you really calmed the crowd.”

She was surprised to see he grew a little uneasy at the compliment, stating that he didn’t think he’d be able to do it. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t seem to walk away from him. He was so easy to talk to. He continued to answer her questions as she fired one after another just to keep him talking. He surprised her, by extending an invitation to Meridian amongst his responses. 

Aloy knew it wouldn’t be possible for her to leave the Embrace once she participated in the Proving. She would no longer be an Outcast, but a Nora Brave. However, she found her heart racing at the prospect. This rather handsome man apparently wanted her around. It was a nice feeling. 

She tried to dismiss it, instead, asking about his people and she listened as he told her about the Oseram and his family. He told her about his sister being taken captive and her escape. And he extended another invitation to Meridian, on the basis of meeting his sister. He thought that they would get along. This second invitation came with the offer of drinks as if he were trying to sweeten the deal. 

He told her about the city. Aloy had to admit that it sounded like a sight to behold. She did hope to see it one day, just by his description alone. She wished to see the Spire he spoke of. It all sounded fantastical. It was then that a third invitation, along with a challenge slipped from his lips. She didn’t know if he was aware that he was using every opportunity to try and persuade her to leave here and go with him, but it made her stomach flutter again. This man knew nothing about her, other than her obvious curiosity, but he wanted her company, her attention. 

She inquired about Olin a second time.

“Is he really that interesting? I’m starting to get a little jealous.” He continued to speak but Aloy found herself distracted by his previous words. Did Erend want her to find him interesting? Maybe he did. She’d never had someone show so much interest in what she thought. Her opinion had never mattered before. 

To show that she did indeed find him interesting, she inquired about his armor.

“You’ve never seen Vanguard steel? Well, let me introduce you,” he stated with pride, making his voice deeper and slightly harder. “Ring locked. Impact protected. Sturdy enough to choke a Sawtooth. Has to be. The Vanguard are the Sun-King’s best. Life-takers and Machine-breakers to a one.” His voice took on a lower pitch and his eyes bore into hers, making Aloy squirm slightly. “Might even give a Nora Warmaid like you more trouble than she can handle.”

A nervous laugh bubbled up from her throat. “With all that metal to slow you down? I doubt it.”

His voice hitched even lower. “Yeah, hard to say. From where I’m standing, looks like a pretty even match.”

Aloy felt her breath catch in her throat. She was stunned. She knew he was flirting with her, but she couldn’t imagine why. His lips pursed for a moment and Aloy found herself drawn to them, wondering if they were as soft as they looked. 

Mother’s Blessing, Aloy, pull yourself together.

“I… uh… I should get to the blessing.” She knew she was taking the coward’s way out, but she also knew flirting with Erend wouldn’t go anywhere. She was likely to never see him again. The knowledge of that actually brought a pang to her chest. It was an uncomfortable feeling. She didn’t understand what it meant. She turned to go, but Erend’s voice had her turning back to him.

“Yeah. Look, maybe I shouldn’t say this, but it’s obvious you don’t belong here in this… backwater.” He seemed to be getting nervous but recovered quickly enough. “I mean, you’re smart, you’re obviously capable,” his eyes skimmed over her body, “and well, I mean, look at you…”

Aloy looked down at the clothes she was wearing. She was certain she looked like a Nora. She knew she even looked clean in her new garb. An outsider shouldn't be able to take one look at her and know the difference between her and the other young hopefuls about to take on the Proving. His statement made no sense. “What are you talking about?”

He smiled then. “You know what,” he stated as if it should be obvious. “If you ever visit Meridian, look me up. I’ll show you around, make introductions. It’d be a whole new life, if you want it.” 

Erend had just extended his fourth invitation to Aloy. It was obvious that he was willing to say anything to get her to say yes, but did he really mean to make her feel as if she would never fit in here? Was that the motivation behind his words?

They said their goodbyes and as Erend walked away, she realized, she did hope to see him again. She just didn’t know how that would even be possible.

 

After the blessing was over, and she had dedicated her offering to Rost, she made her way back down the hill. She had been informed that she would be staying in the bunkhouse with many of the other hopefuls running in the contest tomorrow. Aloy certainly wished that wasn’t the case. While she had every right to be here, there would certainly be people who didn’t approve. She had heard many say so on her walk through the city earlier that day. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her hut in the hills and wait for morning. 

However, that changed slightly as she caught sight of Erend standing with his Vanguard. She decided to approach him.

“Well, aren’t you a pretty one?” One of the men closest to Erend leered at her from under his helmet. 

Erend turned with a smile on his face, but when he saw the “pretty one” was Aloy, he jabbed the offending Vanguard in the ribs. “Be respectful.”

He turned back to her. “Aloy, I saw the blessing thing. Pretty, but the Oseram would have put on a better fireworks show.” He cringed slightly. “Sorry, I meant no offense to your ritual.”

“No worries. I didn’t really understand it myself. It is supposed to honor our mother’s, but if you haven’t noticed, everyone calls me the motherless child.” The last she whispered as if sharing a secret. 

Erend winced, thinking he had offended more than he knew, but when he saw Aloy’s smile he tried to return it. He turned to his men, excusing himself and walked with Aloy down the hill. 

“If it’s not a sore subject, how did you lose your mother?” Erend’s voice was gentle, as if not wanting to pry, but truly wanting to understand why the people would use it as a way to shun her.

“Mother Teersa tells the story much better than I do but if you really want to know, I was found in the belly of the mountain. I never had a mother.”

“Your mother left you inside the mountain?” Erend’s shocked expression made Aloy laugh.

“I honestly don’t know. That was all I could ever get Rost to tell me. He said I would learn the rest of the story in time."

“Wow, that’s… Wow.” Erend gazed at her in bewilderment. He ran his fingers through his Mohawk, and Aloy traced the movement with her eyes. His hair seemed to be very soft and she found herself wanting to repeat the action with her own fingers.

She shook that thought from her mind. “It’s not important. I mean, I would like to know, but it hasn’t been anything that’s weighed on my mind, other than not understanding why I was labeled an Outcast for it.” Aloy shruged and kicked a rock down the path ahead of them. “Will you be staying in the Embrace?”

Erend nodded. “We will be here until after the Proving. Many of my men are eager to see what the Nora Braves are capable of, myself included. We’ve heard you have some of the best fighters, the fastest runners, and that your skills with a bow are unmatched.”

“And we train our whole lives for this one competition," Aloy stated with a small sense of pride. "I started when I was six." Erend seemed impressed by this fact, so she continued. "This jewel, as you call it, has helped me hone my skills even more than the best Nora.” Aloy tapped her finger on the Focus. “There is a crow in that tree about one hundred paces off. A few boar are just to the other side of that gate. There are twenty-three people in the city center and that small fire in the distance has three Braves sitting around it.” She tapped the Focus again, shutting it off and turned to face him.

“That’s amazing, but how are you so sure they are Braves?”

Again, Aloy gestured to her Focus. “Every person I come into contact with gets cataloged. The Focus is capable of remembering many things. It can show me the weak points in a person’s armor, or on a machine. It can show me paths to follow, so long as I know my query and what to look for.”

“I’m sure the Vanguard could use someone like you.” Erend smiled.

“Five,” Aloy stated, but at his confused look she elaborated. “That is the fifth invitation you have given me since we met only a few hours ago.”

To her surprise, Erend blushed. “Is it so hard to see why someone would be interested in you, Aloy? I’d just like the chance to get to know you better, that’s all.”

That was new, but it made her smile. “Well, I’m glad you’ll be here after I win the Proving tomorrow then.” 

“Oh, so cocky. Are you always so sure of yourself?” Erend crossed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Yes. I’ve had to be. I know my limits, but I also know my strengths. The other contestants may not speak to me, but I’ve watched them. I know how each one fights. I know their weaknesses. I’m a better hunter than most, a faster runner and I climb better than all of them. Being raised on the side of a mountain had its benefits in that regard.”

Aloy stopped in front of the cabin that she was to share for the night. Erend said goodnight and that he would see her tomorrow, that she should rest. She wasn’t ready to be rid of his company, but she knew he was right. Taking a deep breath, she turned to the small cabin and made her way up the stairs.


	2. A Chance Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy has just left the borders of her known world. Stepping out is exhilarating and she can not wait to see what this new world has in store for her. However, she is about to have an encounter that she never saw coming.
> 
> #Niloy

The last few days passed through Aloy’s mind in a wild blur. She had won the Proving, becoming a Brave of the Nora tribe. Her victory was short lived as a battalion of Carja rained down on the contestants. Arrows flew, spears clashed, and many of them fell. Bast, she wasn’t too sad to see go, but Vala had nearly brought her to tears. The young Nora had presented herself as a friend only to be cut down hours later. The three of them were able to get a majority of the others safely down the rope and back to the village, but Aloy hadn’t been so lucky. While she still lived, she felt dead inside.

The leader of the Carja soldiers had held her over the mountain’s edge, his dagger pressed to her throat. She could feel the bite of it as it pressed into her flesh, blood dripping slowly from the wound. She had the absent thought of the man ruining Teb’s perfect handiwork, but she knew this would be her end.

Just as she had prepared herself to die, the large Carja growling to “turn her face to the sun”, a spear crashed into his back. Aloy fell and thought she might be lost to the mountain, but somehow kept her footing despite her pain and blood loss. 

When she looked up she saw her savior.

Rost.

The man she knew as her father stood battling the Carja. The fight was a blur. She couldn’t stay focused, thinking she would pass out at any moment. Then he was at her side, holding her, preparing for their demise. It was then that she passed out.

When she awoke, she was inside of the mountain and everything hurt. Her neck, her shoulder, her legs all incredibly sore. She could barely get out of bed but forced herself to move. Her first realization was that all of her gear was missing, including her Focus. She felt naked and exposed, even if there was no one around to see her. 

She stumbled through the foreign place searching for anything that would help her get a better sense of what was going on. After finding her gear and her Focus, she found another of the devices. She was taken aback by the information it held. The Proving had been attacked because of her because these men saw Aloy through Olin’s Focus. A kill issue had been ordered against her. She also found information about a woman who looked exactly like her, but maybe twice her age. Was this her mother? 

So many questions arose that day. Mother Teersa adding to the confusion. She had taken Aloy to a door, where something had recognized her, be it the Nora’s Goddess or something different. It spoke to her, telling her about a corruption. This lead Mother Teersa to believe that the Goddess wanted her to heal the corruption, and naming her a Seeker of the Nora. 

Aloy didn’t understand anything that was happening. She was usually so confident. Her knowledge of the world around her had always exceeded others, and now she had more questions than ever before. 

She left the tribe. Turning her focus to getting answers. She had told Erend that knowing who her mother was wasn’t important. Now it seemed it would be her driving force in discovering what was happening to her, her tribe and the derangement of the machines. 

She made it to the gates of the village and Teb was there waiting and ready to fight. This surprised her. He had told her only a day ago that he was not a fighter, that his skills were better left to mending armor and bodies. More shocking was that she discovered War Chief Sona was missing. She had gone in search of the men who had attacked the Proving. Aloy knew that this was more for the benefit of the tribe, but it made her stomach flutter to know someone cared about what had happened to her on the mountain, someone was going to avenge Rost’s death. 

She asked for the gates to be opened, receiving no small amount of resistance from the man taking Sona’s place. She recognized him as the man who had wanted to bar her entrance into the contestant's cabin, the one who had stood and laughed as Bast shot her trophy from her hands. She informed him that she was a Seeker with the blessing of the Matriarch’s and that he needed to stand aside. She didn’t know how long he would have stood there arguing with her because, as she was about to lay into him, machines crested the hill in front of them.

These machines were not normal. Their usually blue lights were red and something coated their metallic plates. It undulated around them in a nightmarish shadow. She heard the word Corruptor but still had no clue what it was she was seeing. She flipped on her focus to scan the machine and it told her that it was indeed a Corruptor and it was somehow controlling the other machines around it. It also told her that these machines were susceptible to fire. 

Aloy brought up her bow, fire arrows at the ready. The Corruptor slammed into the gate, knocking everyone back a step. She was glad she had stepped up to the edge, for she would have fallen had she stayed just above the ladder she’d climbed to reach this height. 

It broke through, machines poured into the village. Aloy climbed down, taking aim. Her Focus told her where to shoot. She began taking out the guns that rested on the machine’s back. She was making quick work of it, setting the metal beast alight when a Strider crashed into her. The pain was overwhelming and a sickness spread in her gut. Whatever was wrong with the machines could be spread when it made contact. Knowing this, she kept her distance. Fire leaped from her bowstring. 

The battle was soon over and she dismantled the Corruptor, finding the piece that allowed it to override the other machines. It connected with her Focus. She lashed it to her spear knowing she would be able to do the same if she could get close enough. 

She left then, making her way to the gates of the Embrace. She was finally leaving and leaving the tribe who had shunned her for so long. There was something freeing about it. She found herself drowning in anticipation of what was to come. Giddiness settled into her heart, her curiosity finally having an outlet. 

As she neared the gates, a group of Striders came into view. She pulled her spear from her back. Time to test this thing out, she mused aloud. She crept through the tall grass, her focus on one of the machines grazing near it. Silently, she made her approach. When she knew she could reach the machine without detection, she shoved her spear into the beast’s metal plating. It didn’t take long before the metal animal was hers. She mounted it, thinking this would be the way to travel from now on. She would be covering vast distances with no problem. She tested the stride, giving the beast a nudge with her heels when it wouldn’t move. This made it pick up the pace and she found it exhilarating. 

She rode the Strider all the way to the outer gates, stopped only by the sounds of battle. She dismounted quickly, but it wasn’t necessary. The Braves guarding the gate had the machine down before she came through. 

Most were impressed by her mount, but none more so than a Brave about her age named Varl. He introduced himself, stating that he was Vala’s brother and War-Chief Sona’s son. She gave her sympathies for Vala’s loss, letting the young man know that she had liked his sister. He held his emotions in check, focusing instead on his mother. He asked Aloy if she would be willing to track her down, find out what happened to the party that had gone missing after their hunt for the Proving’s killers. 

Aloy was more than happy to assist anyone going after these men and she assured Varl that she would indeed look for the War-Chief. He informed her that there were dangers along the path ahead. She had assumed he meant machines, but he informed her that bandits also littered the countryside.

After leaving Varl, Aloy’s excitement grew. She was outside the gates. The world was open to her. She wasn’t even sure where to start but assumed the trail of the War-Chief would allow her some direction. She knew she needed to head to Meridian and track down Olin, but she didn’t even know where Meridian was. She decided to stick to the trail for now. It would eventually lead her somewhere. 

After riding for a while she decided she would need to find a place to make camp. It was getting dark and she didn’t want to be left trying to fight bandits or machines when she couldn’t see. She was about to pull off of the trail when she caught sight of a man in Carja gear, surrounded by downed bodies. The gear and his appearance made her nervous, but when his eyes landed on hers and he didn’t attack, she decided to approach. 

“There’s danger ahead girl,” he stated bluntly. 

Aloy knew this of course but found it curious that he thought more about the danger for her than himself. All of the Nora would be hunting for the Carja that attacked them. “Danger for you, Outlander. This is Nora land.”

He nearly smiled, or grimaced, she wasn’t really sure which. “Yes, yes, yes. Trespass is forbidden on pain of death…” he paused and this time he did smile, taking in the bodies around him. “Strange phrase, pain of death. See, this one’s in no pain at all.” He pointed to one of the dead men at his feet.

Her natural curiosity had her asking, “Who was he?” It felt strange asking the question instead of asking him why he had killed them, but she assumed the Carja had to have some motive for killing all of them.

The man shrugged. “A thief, a slaver, a killer – the kind that gives honest killers a bad name.”

She sighed, “Varl told me there would be bandit ambushes on the road.” She hadn’t thought to encounter any so soon, so close to the gates.

“Well, it’s not all good news. They don’t always come to you. Most dig out a camp, and there they’ll sit, like spoil on meat.”

She found his wording a little odd, but pressed on, a smirk coming to her own lips. “Unless… someone does something about it?”

His smirk widened, his grey eyes shining. “I like you. Follow the trail of smoke, on the other side of the ruins. I’ll be there.” And with that, he was off.

Aloy stood for a moment, unsure if she should follow. He had said he liked her, why? She wasn’t sure she would get used to that. First Erend, now this Carja. They knew nothing about her but decided they liked her after only a bit of conversation. It was unnerving. However, taking out a bandit camp would benefit all in the region. The last thing the Nora needed was another threat. 

She mounted her Strider and headed in the direction the Carja had taken. She didn’t lead the mount at a fast pace, unsure of the Carja’s motivations. For all she knew, he could be leading her into a trap. 

As she crested the hill, she saw the Carja’s headdress. She took a moment to examine the man as he crouched in the grass. He didn’t look like the men who had attacked the Proving. His body was lean and tight, like many of the Nora she had seen. His chest and abdomen were sculpted in fine lines, which were left exposed by the vest he wore. She found it odd that he wore so little armor. If he was a bandit hunter, shouldn’t he at least have some protection? His skin was a soft brown, like the leather armor she wore, and he sported a black goatee. His grey eyes turned to her, sensing her presence and she knew she couldn’t stand there staring at him any longer. She dismounted and approached, crouching in the grass next to him.

“I’m glad you came.” He nodded his approval.

“You’re glad, why?’ 

“Call in a shared interest. And call me Nil.” 

A shared interest? Why did people keep speaking to her this way? She could tell by the look he gave her that he was sizing her up, but she was unsure as to why.

“Look there – those old rocks? A bandit clan squats under them. Disturb the rocks, and they’ll come wriggling out, worms that they are.”

She was slightly disturbed by the imagery he conjured. “Bandits, why have they come here?”

He gave her a slightly condescending look but answered her anyway. “The Nora are in trouble. Rumors spread like blood. With no Braves to guard the border, killers hungry for sport slip right through.” He smiled at the last bit, and it had Aloy wondering if he was still referring to the bandits or himself. “My partner and I shadowed these scum for days. Good tracker, but he went on ahead without me. We’d talked about this kind of behavior.” He sighed and shrugged. “Still I understand. Leave it too long and your fingers itch for the bowstring. Say, how about you and I work together? Kill them all?”

“I don’t know you and I have no reason to trust you.” She stated flatly.

He smirked again. “Trust is a rare egg to find, isn’t it? I’m just a traveler, with a bow, concerned about the state of these lands, and a missing partner.”

“I don’t think you’re ‘just’ anything at all.” Aloy’s apprehension over the man in front of her began to grow as something nagged at her, telling her he wasn’t being completely honest with her.

He hummed, trying to decide what to say next. “Let me put it another way. Are you a bandit?”

She was slightly offended by the question, huffing her exasperation. “Of course not!”

“Then you have nothing to fear from me.” His smile was slightly devious, setting her teeth on edge, but she could see that he was telling the truth. He wouldn’t attack her or turn on her, not in this moment at least.

“Alright, someone has to stop them from hurting others.” She resigned to her new partner. 

“And we will. We’ll stop them from doing anything, save screaming a while. Go ahead and take the lead. I look forward to seeing what you are capable of.” He leered down at her then and she felt like she was his prey, even though he had just said he wouldn’t hurt her.

She went ahead of him and she could feel his eyes on her body. It stirred something within her, something that was very unwelcome in this moment. She felt as if she should have told him she could do this alone. But, even if she was a near perfect shot with her bow, she felt this would be a daunting task to complete all by herself. She sighted the alarm as he pointed it out, nocking her arrow, and she felt his skin brush against hers. He sidled up next to her, taking aim at the sentry just above the alarm. His shot would hit, just as hers did, giving nothing away.

She loosed the arrow, happy when it met the distant target and she heard the snap of Nil’s bow as well. He shadowed her to the gates, taking out two more sentries as she took out the ones who came to investigate. 

They entered the camp and were nearly through all of the bandits when cries of alarm sounded. They had been seen. Aloy strapped her bow to her back and palmed her spear. Nil did the same, pulling daggers from his waistband. A slow smile crept along his face as if this was what he had desired from the beginning. They nodded to each other and leaped from their hiding place. 

Aloy’s spear split the first bandit through the middle. Nil’s daggers slitting the throat of the man before him. Blood sprayed them both as their targets fell. 

In a rush of adrenaline, Aloy charged her next two combatants, bringing her spear arching over her head and spinning her body in mid-air beheading both in one swoop. When she landed, her pulse was racing. She surveyed the area looking for her next target but found none. She tapped her Focus but detected no more enemies. She was breathing heavily, her body now ramped up and ready for a fight that wouldn’t come. She tried to shake the nerves from her hands and arms, but it wouldn’t calm.

Nil approached her then, his body coated in crimson liquid. She knew she must look the same.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Hold it inside of you, one last breath. Then let it out.” He breathed in deeply, a look of pure elation on his face, but that was not what held her attention. Nil stood erect in his trousers. She had never seen a man in full arousal, and after what they had just done, she was semi-disgusted and completely turned on. 

He saw where her eyes landed and his voice became husky as he closed the distance between them. “You can touch it, if you want.”

Aloy’s heart pounded in her chest. An answering wetness coated her below. “I… uh…” she had no words, and Nil inched ever closer. His fingers finding her bare skin and sliding through the blood that coated her arm. It made his arousal twitch and goosebumps crawl along her flesh. Her eyes closed of their own volition and a shaky breath escaped her lips.

“Nora girl, so wound, like a bowstring ready to snap.” His lips found hers and he pressed his hard length into her hip. His fingers slid into her hair, tugging gently as he tilted her head back, nipping at her pulse. 

Her hand found his hardened length without thought. He moaned into her skin. His hand slipping under her armor to tweak her pearled nipples. She gasped at the touch. Her mind refused to come back to sanity. She knew this was wrong. She knew everything about this situation was disgusting. But his teeth, his hands, they were making her feel things she had never felt before. 

She didn’t remember removing her armor, but one second it was there and the next her body and his were exposed to the cold, wet air. He took hold of her coppery strands and her waist, pushing her against the side of the cabin closest to them. The hand that had been holding her waist slipped between them and his fingers found her core. He rubbed at the little nub, sending her brain into overdrive. She came quickly, having never felt another’s touch where only her hands had been before. She had thought she’d reached the peak of pleasure, but then his fingers delved inside of her. She screamed, causing Nil to growl into her mouth. His lips pressed into her, hard and unforgiving. He worked his fingers, pumping in and out of her. With every stroke, he sped up causing tiny bursting moans. 

She wasn’t sure when he removed his fingers and began stroking her opening with his cock, but she knew in this moment, she couldn’t have said no, even if she wanted to. Her body was his. 

As his head penetrated her, he lifted her leg to give himself more room. The pain of his entry was sublime. It seemed to fit that this should hurt. But the pain quickly dissipated as he filled her. He pumped sure and hard, her back pounding into the wooden siding. He dipped his head to capture her nipple into his mouth. She went dizzy at the shared sensations pulsing through her. 

She came around his cock, her insides pulsing and Nil lost his pounding rhythm. He pulled out of her a few moments later, and as he saw her blood coating him, he didn’t even have to touch himself to finish. The pulsing organ spewing along her thigh. 

“Already bleeding for me.” He leaned in and captured her mouth once more. 

When it was over, and they were gathering their belongings Aloy wondered if she would regret this moment. For now, all she could feel was complete satisfaction. 

“We shall meet again, Huntress.” Nil smiled as he walked away.

Aloy wasn’t sad to see him leave, but she felt a thrill course through her body and hoped his words were true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth about when to do this and who I wanted Aloy losing her virginity to, but settled on this... for reasons.


	3. Devil's Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy has found War-Chief Sona and tracked the killers to a camp inside Devil's Grief.
> 
> #niloy ;)

Aloy had tracked down Sona and her War Party, in turn, helping her track down the Carja killers to a place not far from the bandit camp her and Nil had taken down days ago. Varl had joined them, much to his mother’s dismay. Yet, when Varl offered up his bow, Sona had said she would be happy to send two Braves so willing to see this ended into the fray. He assisted Aloy in clearing out the forward camps along the Ring of Metal, creeping into the camps to disable the alarms as Braves swarmed in behind them. 

When they reached the heart of the camp, she had Varl turn back. He was reluctant to do so, but Aloy explained her plan. She would blow their stock of Blaze, creating an opening on the other side of the camp, taking out many soldiers and the Corruptors with them. Sona and the others needed to be informed in order for her plan to be successful. Varl nodded, saying he would be the first to answer her signal. She had to wonder if all Braves had a similar attitude, wanting to be on the front lines of every offense. From what she’d seen, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

After sneaking through the soldiers, past the Bellowback and a Corruptor, she thought she would be in the clear, but just before she reached the shed of Blaze a call of alarm sprang up to her right. She had been so focused on her task and moving toward it that she neglected to check the surrounding area. A spear landed inches from her as she rolled out, hearing the woosh just in time. At this range, she should have switched to her spear but couldn’t waste the time, as she was nearing the shed. 

She rolled and took aim. The flame arrow embedded deep in the man’s chest, setting him aflame. The smell of charred leather and burning flesh hit Aloy’s nostrils and it was almost enough to bring her to her knees. The acrid stench choked her, made her eyes burn and his screams clawed at her skull. 

She had to move on.

The camp had been alerted, if not for the cries of alarm, then from seeing one of their own drowning in torturous flame. However, the stretch to the shed was clear. Aloy sprinted from her hiding place, knowing they would see her, but also knowing they’d have a hard time sighting her down. She was fast. If they could hit her in a full-on sprint, then they were better shots than she. 

She reached the shed, sliding into the tall grass and taking aim at the green liquid within the canisters. The reverberation of the explosion nearly knocked her on her ass, but she recovered quickly. As the dust settled, she heard the cries of the Nora spilling into the camp. They pulled the attention away from her long enough for her to regain her bearings. 

She switched on her focus, locating the remaining Blaze canisters throughout the camp. From her perch, she took aim. She was patient, waiting for the men to cluster around each one before setting it ablaze. The small explosions had the Carja heading her way, but she took them out quickly and efficiently, never letting any get close enough that she could smell the acrid scent again. 

An arrow zoomed past her ear, catching a man she hadn’t heard coming up behind her in the center of his skull. Another explosion sounded nearby, followed by another. The Nora had caught on to Aloy’s tactics making quick work of the numbers that remained.

The battle ended, Sona addressing all who were still standing, which was a surprisingly large number. She told the men and women with her to leave their arrows and spears where they lay; the taint of these lands would not follow them home. The blood spilled here would be their cleansing. Aloy still had trouble understanding why this was such an important thing to the Nora. The land they stood on was taboo, for reasons unknown to her. The Nora were strange in their beliefs. She thought back to Erend’s words. “It’s obvious you don’t belong here.” Maybe he was right. 

After Sona’s speech, Aloy approached, tossing a smile to Varl and was surprised when he returned it with a gleam in his eye. She couldn’t decide if it was for her or if it was an after effect of battle. She wondered if he was suffering the same effect Nil had, but she kept her eyes away from his body. 

Sona praised her battle skill and told her that she was now free to return to the Nora, but she would take up camp at Mother’s Crown. Aloy remembered that she had been heading that way before Varl mentioned tracking down the War-Chief. This would be where she could start her journey to Meridian. The people there traded with outsiders, even the Carja. Her heart began to flutter and her stomach to somersault. This was the adventure she had waited her whole life for. “A whole new life” if she wanted it. 

She turned to Varl then, and her elation must have shown on her face because he took it for what it was. “You won’t be returning with us, will you?” 

Aloy explained that her mission was not yet complete and for some reason, the Brave looked slightly defeated. In light of what just happened, he should look just the opposite. It was confusing, trying to understand the nuances of each expression turned her way. She wished she was better at reading people, understanding their emotions, but having lived her life away from anyone but Rost, she found that these were things she would simply have to learn over time. She thought of Nil and Erend. Neither of them had hidden behind veiled expressions or strange shifts in mood. It made her like them all the more for it. 

His next words shown some light on what he was feeling, as he asked her to stop by and see him when she made it to Mother’s Crown. Was he going to miss her? He barely knew her. 

She longed for Rost’s understanding of people, or anyone she could confide in, really. She wanted to understand why people, especially those of the Nora, would all of a sudden decide she was worthy of their time. Erend had decided it immediately, no provocation needed. Nil decided it after only a few moments, seeing they had a desire in common. Varl, she didn’t understand at all. She had been an Outcast only days ago. Were the Nora more flexible in their beliefs than she realized? Teb had been eagerly awaiting her arrival on the day of the Proving, but she had saved his life. That she understood. 

She left the Nora with these thoughts swirling around in her brain. If only Vala had survived, maybe she could have asked her about this. 

 

Aloy made camp for the night, finding an outcropping for shelter and a stream not too far off. She needed to bathe and clean her armor and weapons. She gathered up her bow and spear and a clean tunic and leggings and made her way to the stream. On her way, she gathered more ridge-wood for arrows and a rabbit for dinner. 

She removed her armor, placing it downstream, letting the flow of the water do some of the work for her. She then dipped her bow into the water and slid her fingers over its curves, cleaning the Blaze from the grip. When the bow was cleaned she turned to the spear repeating the process. Before she stepped into the water, she touched her Focus, checking her surroundings. She didn’t need to be caught unaware and nearly naked. 

As the Focus flipped on, she jumped. There was someone in the bushes not ten feet from her. How had someone got so close without her hearing them? Without giving away that she was aware of the presence, she let her Focus hone in on the orange blur. 

Nil.

Her heart gave a sputter. The adrenaline in her body slowing as her fight or flight response calmed. This was someone she knew, not a bandit or someone who wished her harm. 

Since he had chosen to remain concealed, she went about bathing. It wasn’t as if he’d never seen her naked and she had nothing to be embarrassed about. She’d never been modest, in fact, most Nora were not. She knew some people had qualms about nudity but the Nora were proud of their bodies. They trained hard to be in the best condition training would allow. To be ashamed of their bodies would be saying that their training was inferior, or that they didn’t think they were worthy of being Braves. These were all things she’d learned from Rost and thinking of him had her twisting the bone necklace at her neck.

She was finishing up and still, Nil remained concealed. 

“Are you going to continue watching me, or would you like to have dinner with me?” She didn’t turn to him, gathering up her equipment instead. Not awaiting a response, she began walking back to her camp. A slight smile crept across her lips as she heard his soft footfall behind her after a few moments. She never turned to face him, but wound her way back to her campfire. 

Back at the camp, she set her armor out to dry by the fire. She rolled out her bedroll and prepared the rabbit for roasting. 

“You knew I was there?” Nil’s voice came from the darkness.

“Of course,” Aloy stated without any further explanation.

He came into view of the campfire, the light casting eerie shadows over his skin. His vest was off, wrapped around his bow that was in his hand. He squatted on his heels across the fire from her. 

Aloy could feel his eyes on her as if she were an ancient artifact he was trying to puzzle through. “Hope you like the rabbit. It’s all I’ve got. I haven’t had a chance to gather much else.”

“How did you know?” His voice held a curiosity she had yet to hear color his voice and she considered telling him about her Focus, but she was still unsure if she could trust him. 

“I’m a hunter, Nil. I have to be aware of my surroundings at all times.” She hoped that would suffice, but she couldn’t read his expression. It had her wondering what he was thinking, but she already knew her skills were lacking in trying to discern other’s emotions. 

“Can I ask you something,” she questioned cautiously. 

“I don’t see why not.” He shrugged. 

“You said you liked me. Obviously, you like my body as well, but what made you say it to me after talking to me for only a few minutes?” She tried to look into his eyes but found the question embarrassed her as if she were a child, untested by the world. She had to remind herself that, in this, she was.

“Why, little huntress? Do you not want me to like you?” He smiled then and she couldn’t help but return it.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to push the words out of her mouth. “I was raised as an Outcast. I have never really been around people until recently, and it has been an… interesting transition.” She thought back to her time with him. It couldn’t be normal behavior for people who just met to mate like rabbits after the heat of battle. Right?

She pushed those thoughts aside and proceeded to ask him what she had intended, “People I thought hated me have been treating me differently. It is difficult to understand, but I am not used to people wanting me around. About a week ago, a man came to my village and he was nice, charming. He invited me to Meridian multiple times, telling me he wanted to see more of me. And just a few hours ago one of the Nora Braves did the same thing. Why?”

Nil laughed, taking Aloy by surprise.

“Don’t make fun of me.” She growled.

“Stay calm, Huntress. I am not laughing at you, but the fact that you don’t understand when someone is flirting with you.” He raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“Flirting? But they don’t know me. How would they know if I would make a good mate?” Rost had told her about finding a mate and the mating rituals humans performed, but none of this fit with the way he had explained it. A woman was to decide her mate based on compatibility and shared desires. In all of these aspects, Nil fit his idea of what a mate should be, but she couldn’t picture taking Nil back to the Nora homeland. For all she knew, he would get bored one day and slaughter them all.

“A good mate?” His questioning tone had her meeting his eyes. He looked just as confused as she felt.

Was she not explaining this correctly? She truly wished she knew. “Isn’t that the purpose of making one’s intentions known?”

“Aloy, flirting is a way of getting to know someone. One does not decide on a ‘mate’, as you say, based on one conversation. They want to get to know you, and hope that you want to get to know them.” His tone wasn’t condescending, but she still felt like he was the adult trying to explain something simple to a child.

“But, why? Why is it everyone I meet seems to be doing this lately? They can’t all think to be potential mates, right? It just doesn’t make sense.” This conversation seemed to be going nowhere fast. 

“Not every person you encounter is going to think like a Nora. Not every man is searching for a mate. Some just want something to sink their shaft into; some may want to get close to you just to be your friend.” He paused, taking in Aloy’s confused expression. “Truly, Huntress, do you not know your power?”

Power, what was he talking about? “No, Nil. That’s why I am asking.”

“Well, it probably has to do with the fact that you are probably one of the most beautiful people they have ever seen. You are strong, capable. You have drive and determination. You use your body as a weapon, but you are capable of honing all of that strength and holding back. There are many things one would find desirable about you, Little Huntress.” The words spilled out of his mouth without reservation, as if he is stating a simple fact.

“You think I am beautiful?” Aloy knew her cheeks were burning in the firelight, but Nil made no comment about it.

“I would think that was obvious.” He paused before stating, “You said everyone was treating you this way, yet you only mentioned two people.”

“Well, maybe not everyone,” she admitted shyly. “But when I entered the gates of Mother’s Heart, a young merchant I had met previously had admitted he was more than happy to see me and when I left he was sad to see me go.” She recalled the look on Teb’s face, it wasn’t the desire that she read so plainly on Nil or Erend’s face, and it wasn’t the guarded expression Varl had given her earlier that day, but something softer. 

“How did you meet?”

Why was that important? She didn’t know but wasn’t that the point of this conversation. “I… uh… saved his life. I was six. He had fallen from the Brave trails and was surrounded by Watchers. I navigated us out of the swarm.”

Nil’s eyebrows climbed higher. “So you are quite literally his hero then.”

Was he impressed? “I suppose so.” She shrugged, not wanting that kind of label, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d used the word on her. At the bandit camp, he had told her that if she were ‘the heroic type’ she could rescue the captives. Which, of course, she did.

“Well, there you have it. He respects you.” He lifted his hands in a ‘see’ gesture. “Who else?”

Aloy chewed her bottom lip, knowing now that the list wasn’t really that long. “I haven’t really encountered too many other people. Teb, Erend, you, and Varl.”

Nil’s body stilled, his back stiffened and his voice droped an octave as the name slipped from his lips, “Erend Vanguardsman?”

This response was curious. Yet another reaction she didn’t understand, but she had seen cats with their hackles raised. His posture was very similar. “Yes. Do you know him?’

“Unfortunately, yes.” His words were clipped, sharp.

Aloy waited for an elaboration but when none came, she asked, “How?”

“I was a soldier in the 13th Sun-King’s army. Avad had me arrested and sent to prison. I confessed everything and got a slap on the wrist and two years in Sunstone Rock. He was the arresting officer. I didn’t fight, but that didn’t stop him from taking a crack at my skull.”

That didn’t sit with the gentle man she had encountered at Mother’s Heart. So she chose to drop the subject. “Well, that explains the armor and your skill with a bow.”

A small smile played across his lips but was quickly gone. 

The rabbit had finished cooking and they divided the meat between them, eating in companionable silence. Aloy caught Nil staring at her more than once, but it didn’t make her uncomfortable. She was beginning to learn that it was simply his way, always watching. 

Nil broke the silence by asking, “So, where will you be heading next?”

“I need to go to Meridian,” Aloy stated before realizing she may have just brought up the subject she had been trying to drop earlier.

“Meridian?” His stiff posture didn’t return, but his eyes grew hard.

“I have to find this guy named Olin. He was the reason my village was attacked.”

Nil’s posture relaxed again, and Aloy had to wonder what had caused it in the first place. Maybe it was his history with the city. 

She was growing tired and voiced it to Nil. He surprised her by rolling out his own bedroll across the fire from her.


	4. The Firebrand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short conversation between Avad and Erend.

Erend stood as Avad lounged across his cushy couch. The view of Meridian stretched out before him and he reminded himself once again how lucky he was to be a friend to a King. It held many perks, one being the pricey Oseram brew Avad held out to him. 

“They were decimated?” Erend could hear the compassion pouring into the King’s words. 

Avad had a kind heart, Erend knew this, but he had a feeling his concern was more for the fact that the Nora were not going to be allies after this. He had seen the men leaving the village. They were in fact Carja, Shadow Carja, but the Nora were unlikely to realize the difference.

“They attacked the Proving, but it was more than that. They were on a mission, completely bypassing the village and going after the contestants.” Erend couldn’t help but think of the tiny, redheaded, firebrand he’d met that day. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and now… she was surely dead. Aloy. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. He’d only had one conversation with her, but it seemed they’d had a bit of a connection. 

“Erend,” the King questioned.

“What,” Erend asked, shaking the thoughts of Aloy from his head.

“I didn’t know you held such concern for these people, didn’t you call them savages?” Avad was smirking.

Erend realized he must have missed something Avad had said. “Sorry, I was just thinking about one of the Nora I met the day before everything went to shit.” He took a sip of the brew to hide the emotion that shouldn’t be playing across his face.

“Alright, out with it. Tell me about her.” Avad leaned further back on the couch, his hands lifted behind his head.

Erend scowled at the King. “What makes you think this is over a girl?”

“Come on, friend. A man gets that look in his eye for only one reason.” 

Erend grumbled but didn’t see the harm in humoring him. It wasn’t like he’d see the girl again. “We were about to address the Nora when through the crowd I see this shock of wild red hair. She was pushing her way through the crowd and when I caught her eye, she smiled. I think I had just called your father a murderous bung.”

Avad laughed at that. 

“Anyway, I saw her talking to Olin. She grew frustrated with him, so I thought to intervene. But up close, this girl was probably the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Sharp as a blade, too. She drilled me about anything she could think of, and I caught on that she just wanted to talk to someone. Found out she was an Outcast, so I told her she could just come to Meridian and be someone here.”

Avad eyebrows crept along his forehead with every word and Erend knew he was digging himself into a hole somehow, but didn’t really see a way out of it. 

“I watched her scale a mountain like it was nothing. She was incredibly strong, and fast. Then she did something no one expected. She ran a trail no one else would because it was too dangerous. The villagers began mumbling that she would surely die before reaching the end. They were right.” Something stirred in him, deep in his gut, but it would do no good to dwell on it. 

“She seems to have made quite an impression on you, Vanguardsman.” Avad’s smirk is a knowing one.

“Fire and spit, it’s not like it matters. She’s likely dead.”

Erend was growing uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation.

“Luminance, there is…” 

A guard had run onto the balcony, stopping dead and growing ashen when his eyes landed on Erend. 

Avad was on his feet, but the guard had yet to take his eyes off Erend. So he took this as his cue to address the man. “What is it? What has happened?”

The guard’s mouth moved but no sound came out. Erend gripped the man’s collar, shaking him. “Tell us what happened.”

A whisper escaped the man’s lips, “It’s Ersa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this was so short but there is more coming. I just wanted to give a glimpse at Erend's thoughts before seeing Aloy at the Gates of Meridian.


	5. Meridian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy finally makes it to Meridian
> 
> #Niloy #Erloy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did promise this one would be longer ;)

Aloy had spent weeks within the Sacred Lands running errands for the Nora in need throughout her travels. She had no idea she would encounter so many people who would seek her help. She had her own mission, yet she couldn’t help but feel compassion for those desperate enough to speak to a stranger, and a former Outcast. It gave her a sense of duty, of belonging. She felt needed for the first time in her life. She had found Sona, cleared out corrupted zones, established better relations between the Outcasts and the Nora outside the gates of the Embrace, tracked down people under attack by machines, and made a few friends along the way. 

She was most surprised by most people’s easy acceptance of her. She knew she could be a bit unaware of their motivations but very few took advantage of her. Only once did she encounter someone who still wanted to deem her an Outcast. She had been tempted to lock him back into the cabin she had found him in, but decided to take the high road and leave him to deal with the Outcasts who had robbed him, to begin with. She had been able to convert the bandit camp into a refuge for those cast out by the Matriarchs and doubted they’d give him any more trouble anyway. They even had merchants coming into the camp and establishing trade for the surprisingly large group. 

It wasn’t all work though; she’d competed in Hunting Trials, earning a blazing sun and a few full suns. She heard they would allow her to join the Hunting Lodge in Meridian and she was intrigued by the prospect. She had found a Cauldron, allowing her the ability to override new machines. She’d shared in Oseram liquor with a woman she’d found at one of the camps near a hunting ground. That was an experience she hadn’t been prepared for, feeling the effects long after she’d left the cheeky woman. It left her head abuzz and made her steps heavy. It wasn’t a bad feeling, but she would have to be cautious if she were to imbibe the burning liquid again. However, the best part of that experience was that the woman had given her a nickname, Little Spark. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but she liked it. She felt it suited her. No one had ever thought to use a term of endearment for her. It gave her a sense of connection she never realized she was missing. Yes, Nil called her Little Huntress, but it didn’t feel the same. 

Nil had been a constant shadow during her travels. He wasn’t always at her side, but he never seemed to be too far away. She let him be most nights, but his presence would sometimes drive her to call him out, pulling him from the shadows. When she did, they would speak of his time as a soldier, and she learned that he had committed war crimes, but he didn’t elaborate on what those crimes were. Instead, he told her that the empty places that used to hold many were likely his doing. This didn’t surprise her. She had seen his bloodlust many times. She wondered if this lust would eventually turn to her, but never did he let on that this would be the case. 

As far as actual lust, that was an altogether different story. Any time she called him out of the shadows, she could see the hungry look in his eyes. They devoured her, set her aflame. She was good at holding back most of the time but found herself giving in to her own desires a few times.

The first time, she had just fought off a group of scrappers. Her body was high on adrenaline. Since the bandit camp, a need would build in her after such a fight. It would grow uncomfortable and she had touched herself many times after. She knew Nil had watched her more than once, but this time she sought him out. He had been crouching in a grove of trees off to her right and without preamble, she made her way to him. When he realized the direction of her steps, he stood. She reached him, throwing her arms around him and pressing her lips to his. 

He was slow to respond, but when he finally gave in he lifted her from the ground, wrapping her legs around his waist. He pressed her against a tree, holding her with the press of his body as his hands explored her waist, breasts, and thighs. His tongue slid along the scar on her neck causing her to toss her head back, giving him easier access. A low growl escaped him and he released her, turning her to face the tree and tugging her leggings and panties down around her ankles, his fingers entered her from behind. He spread her legs with his own and pressed his palm into her lower back causing her to arch into him. As he slid into her, the hand that had worked her into a frenzy wrapped around her neck, not choking but pulling her harder into him. He kept his other hand on the small of her back, forcing her to maintain the arched position. She was surprised how different this position felt. He felt bigger, longer. His hands left her body for only a moment before pulling her arms behind her, one of his wrapping around them to hold them in place and the other sliding into her hair, tugging her head back. He pounded into her, both cumming within minutes.

The second time, she had just returned to camp after bathing and found him lying out next to her campfire. He wasn’t asleep but his eyes were closed and Aloy decided to straddle him. As she took her place on his lap, he opened his eyes and his hands came to her bare hips. She rocked into him, feeling him grow hard under her. This was the first time she was able to see his expression shift. His eyes closed, his head tilted back slightly and he bit his bottom lip. She continued her teasing grind on top of him until he couldn’t take it anymore and lifted her just enough to slide his pants down, releasing his cock, positioning her just right to slip down over him. 

Aloy let her body take over. She wasn’t sure if what she was doing was right but she let Nil’s moans and hands guide her. Even though she was riding him, he set the pace, pulling and pushing her body where he needed it. When she found a rhythm his hands left her hips to trial up her waist, to her chest. He rolled her nipples between his fingers and it caused her to pause as electricity shot through her. He sat up then, wrapping his arm around her, bringing her back into motion, and closed his mouth around one hardened peak. Aloy’s fingers slid into his hair, tugging gently, bringing his mouth to hers. He captured her lip between his teeth and sucked. 

It took longer for either of them to find their release this time, but the pleasure continued to build and Aloy couldn’t decide which she liked better. 

“Aloy,” Nil whispered, but she wasn’t aware it was a warning. She continued to ride him. His grip tightened and he began to pant. His moans grew ever louder. 

“Aloy, stop.” He almost begged the words, but she was on the brink of her own release and didn’t want to stop.

They came together, Nil’s grip on her body tightening almost painfully. 

They both had to catch their breath, but when Nil regained his voice, he spoke softly, “That was stupid.”

Aloy was taken aback. She didn’t understand what he meant. He had obviously enjoyed what they had just done, so why would he say that? “Stupid?”

“You let me release inside you. Please, tell me you know how babies are made.” His tone was light, playful even.

Oh… That…

“Don’t worry. I’ve been taking herbs. I know which ones prevent pregnancy.” She smiled at him and he returned it, capturing her lips one last time before she rolled off of him and onto his bedroll. 

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep there, and certainly not naked, but she woke when her body grew chilled. It took her a moment to realize only one side of her body was feeling the cool air and another to understand why. Nil was pressed into her back, his arm wrapped around her in sleep. She tried to make her movements subtle as she pulled the blanket back over her body, not wanting the wake him but thought she had failed when his body shifted behind her. However, that was not the case, he had shifted closer. She smiled to herself and lay back down, now warmed by the feeling spreading through her. 

 

Nil allowed Aloy to override a Broadhead for him and rode with her until they got close to the border of Meridian. They cleared out another bandit camp before he told her he wouldn’t be following her into the city. There were no goodbyes shared, no mentions of where the other would be going beyond here, but Aloy had faith she would see him again. 

She rode on, battling a Stormbird and resupplying at a small encampment that had a view of the city. She had seen it from the Carja gates, but this close she saw just how big the city truly was. She wondered how she was going to find one man in such a large place. She knew she would probably have to find the Vanguard and talk to Erend. They were friends after all. 

Aloy hoped that when she did track down the Oseram that he wouldn’t try to make good on all of his promises made at Mother’s Heart. She didn’t have time to meet his sister or try to build a new life just then. She had spent enough time trying to help her own people instead of hunting the answers she had been seeking. She would need to be in and out of the city as quickly as possible.

As she rode to the gates of the city, she was again overwhelmed by the number of people clustered within. She had thought Mother’s Heart daunting to navigate. This was going to be a nightmare. The sounds and the smells already overwhelmed her senses and made her dizzy, and this was outside the gates. 

She left her Broadhead out of sight of the camps clustered outside of Meridian, not wanting to frighten anyone who may come across the machine. If she left it alone long enough it would simply wander off in search of food. 

She pushed her way through the merchants and guards that had clustered along the walkway. People turned to stare at her but she brushed it off. She was a Nora in Carja lands who had just ridden in on a machine. She could understand the confusion it would cause. She was used to being different, to being other. But at least here, people would speak to her. 

She was stopped just short of her goal by the city guard.

“Stop right there. In light of the recent attack, no stranger passes into Meridian without submitting to a search.” The guard placed his hands on his hips, making his stance wider, letting her know he meant those words.

“Recent attack? What are you talking about?” She had heard no word on the road of an attack on Meridian. She was sure something like that would have been significant enough to reach the few places she’d stopped along the way.

“The murder of Captain Ersa and her Vanguards, of course! Ambushed by Shadow Carja forces in Red Ridge Pass.” He stated this as if she must have heard the news.

“Ersa? You mean Erend’s sister is dead?” Aloy remembered how fondly he had spoken of her the day before the Proving. Her heart hurt for him immediately, having lost her only family just days ago. She fingered the bone necklace, remembering Rost.

“How would you know his name,” the guard growled at her.

His tone set Aloy on edge. Was he calling her a liar? “I know Erend. Summon him. I need to speak to him.”

He chuckled as if she couldn’t possibly believe he would actually do such a thing. “I doubt that Erend, the new Captain of the Vanguard, a man in grief, is going to waste his time on some grimy outlander—“

She was about ready to push her way past the guards when a cheery voice she recognized all too well sounded over the group of men.

“Aloy,” Erend nearly shouted. “You’re alive. I thought you were dead.” A huge smile was plastered across the man’s face and it made Aloy’s stomach somersault. “Make way. Make way.” He pushed a few of the guardsmen aside to reach her.

His voice lowered as he asked, “All the way to Meridian, just to see me?”

It was then that the overwhelming stench of alcohol reached her nose and it took all she had not to bring her hand up as not to inhale it. “Have you been drinking?” She knew the answer, of course, but she couldn’t believe this was how he was choosing to handle his grief. She had just been told he was the new Captain of the Vanguard. This was not how a leader was supposed to act.

His movements were exaggerated and his words slipped over each other. “Ah, not really. A little.” He looked away sheepishly for a moment, but shook it off quickly, his voice rose to meet his mood. “So you’re alive! This is… We should celebrate! Drinks on me!” He turned to the guards as if they would join them in said drinks.

What was it with the Oseram and liquor? She sighed, “We need to talk. Alone. And you need to pull it together.”

He gestured to an alcove off the front gate. “Over there.”

The guard who had stopped her from entering the city turned to him. “So you approve?”

Erend leaned into the guard a little closer than necessary. “Of course I approve! From now on she may come and go from this city as she pleases.”

“As you wish, Sir,” the guard responded but turned a sour look Aloy’s way.

Again Erend gestured to the alcove. She nodded and followed. 

When they reached the alcove Erend turned to her. “There. Alone, as you asked. Now, what did you want to tell me?”

Before Aloy could bring herself to ask of Olin, she found herself trying, in some small way, to comfort the drunken man in front of her. “I heard what happened to Ersa. I’m sorry. I know she was special to you.”

His eyes fell to the ground and she wondered if she had said something wrong. When he raised them again she could see the sheen of unshed tears.

“Special to me.” He laughed, but there’s no humor behind it. “Special to everyone. She always knew what to do. Bossed everyone around… She kept me in line. Now I’m supposed to fill her shoes. And instead, here I am, stumbling around in them.”

Aloy could tell he was ashamed of this fact, but not ashamed enough to stop him from being publicly drunk. But her heart went out to him and she absently fingered her necklace. “I lost someone, too. At the Proving. The man who raised me. His name was Rost.” 

“That’s terrible,” he stated sincerely, but then followed up with what Aloy thought was a very callous question. “Why is it, every time something terrible happens, everyone else always tells you the worst thing that ever happened to them, as though that makes it easier?”

She had thought only to share in his grief, to let him know she was hurting too. That she felt his pain. It hurt that he couldn’t see that. She thought she was the one bad at reading people. 

“Yeah, why is that?” She knew her frustration had been voiced in her words. She had thought she would come here and find a friend. The first person to ever be truly kind to her. But, at the moment, he was proving to be nothing more than a drunken ass.

He must have heard the emotion behind her response because he quickly changed the subject. “Anyway. There was something you wanted to tell me?”

She proceeded to tell him about Olin’s connection to the killers at the Proving. He didn’t want to believe her. She was growing ever more frustrated with the man. She had been so sure that they had shared a connection on the mountain, but it seemed to be completely one-sided. She wanted to write it off, telling herself it didn’t matter if this man liked her or not. Maybe Nil had been right and he had simply wanted to sleep with her. But if that were true, wouldn’t he have acted then? 

She was finally able to convince him to take her to Olin’s house. Along the way, they encountered a group of people shouting about Avad sparing killer and butchers. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard that. Nil had told her about his light sentence, about his ideas of rehabilitation. This set Erend into a rage. He barked at the crowd, telling them to disperse or he would kick all of their asses. Aloy didn’t think he could take even one of them on in his current state.

They reached Olin’s door and found it locked. She began checking for windows, ways into the place when Erend’s boot connected with the lock, busting through, sending the door flying off of its hinges. Maybe she had been wrong about him being able to take on the crowd. It sent a chill up her spine, seeing his strength.

She played it off, muttering, “Subtle.”

“Try not to break anything… uh… other than the door.” 

She smirked at him then. She took in the house, not knowing what to make of all of the fineries. She mused aloud about the size and grandeur of the place, not thinking about Erend hearing her musings. She still had a tendency to talk to herself and found it odd when others responded. 

“It pays to have connections to the Sun-Court,” he muttered absently.

Aloy saw nothing out of place in the house and decided to flip on her focus to see if it saw something she was overlooking. Sure enough, the focus picked up an empty space under the rug. She rolled it away, finding a vault door on the floor.

Erend seemed shocked by the revelation. 

“How do we get through,” she asked, hoping he would know where to find a key or some way to pry the door open. She sized him up, thinking, between his bulk and the armor he wore, he could probably jump on it and open it but didn’t say it. 

“That’s an Oseram Vault door. There is no way without a key.”

Not ready to give up so quickly, she stated, “We’ll see about that.” She thought over all she had found in the house, which wasn’t much. Then she remembered the crate of ingots she found in the upper room. If she could somehow push the crate over the edge, it would fall directly on the door. She bounded up the stairs and up the ladder. 

The crate was heavy but she pressed her back into it, nearly going over the edge when the weight was no longer behind her. It crashed through just as she expected it would. 

Erend looked up at her, “I did tell you not to break anything, didn’t I?”

She shrugged, too happy with her success to do much else and bounded back down the stairs. 

The vault held the answers she sought. Olin was not the traitor she thought he was, but he was working with the killers. They were holding his family hostage. She felt for him then, knowing it wasn’t his fault that the killers were after her. He was as much a pawn as she was. She also found his location marked on a map and a journal detailing the kill order he’d received the day before the Proving. No wonder he had told her to enjoy the night as much as she could. 

She picked up the journal and handed it to Erend, showing him the proof he would need to send her on her way. 

“Wait. You can read glyphs? And how do you know they are holding his family captive?”

“Erend, I showed you what my focus could do the night we met.” She sighed. How much had he drunk since that night? 

“That’s right. Your focus shows the unseen.” His face lit up for a moment before turning severe. “Aloy, you could help me. Help me find my sister’s killers. You see things no one else does. You could track them. Help me take them down.”

She finally had a lead on the killers and he chose this moment to ask for her help. “Erend, that is your war, not mine. I have my own path to follow.”

He grew angry with her then. “So you should get justice and not me?” 

He must have realized he was being harsh because he sighed and gathered his emotions before speaking again. “Will you help me, please? I need to know what happened, who killed her. And not just the Shadow Carja. I know that. But the actual people who did this to her. Will you meet me at Red Ridge Pass tomorrow?”

Aloy couldn’t deny him, or his need to know what actually happened and she caved, telling him that yes, she would meet him. 

He let out a huge sigh of relief and they walked out of Olin’s house.

“Where will you be staying tonight? I can meet you in the morning and we can head out together.”

Aloy stopped in her tracks. She had planned to camp outside the city, but if he was planning on meeting her, should she stay in Meridian? And if she did, where would she go? “I… uh… I don’t know. I know no one within the city to stay with. Is there a bunkhouse nearby?”

“A bunkhouse? Oh, right. The Nora sleep in one big room all together. There is an inn where you can stay for one hundred shards a night. Not a bad place.”

One hundred shards? Was he serious? She checked her shard purse. She had planned on purchasing new armor. If she spent a few nights at the inn, she would be in her Nora leathers which offered little resistance to the dangers she’d encountered in Carja territory. “I think I will just make camp outside the city. I’m used to being alone and the city is so loud. I doubt I’d get much sleep here.”

Erend had noticed her checking to see how many shards she had. He could tell by the size of the purse that she didn’t have much, and with her traveling, it would probably be all of the shards she had to her name. “Why don’t you just stay with me? I have plenty of room in my house and it will save us the trouble of trying to find each other tomorrow.” 

“I don’t want to put you out. I promise I will be fine on my own.” 

“Having a pretty little thing like you in my house, I promise you, it is no hassle.”

Aloy smiled at that and agreed to stay with him.


	6. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend didn't consider what it would be like to have Aloy stay in his house.
> 
> #Erloy

Erend couldn’t believe Aloy was actually here in Meridian and they were headed to his house. And he was drunk. He kicked himself for the millionth time that day. Of course, he hadn’t really cared what anyone thought until it was Aloy telling him to pull himself together. He knew getting plastered wasn’t going to bring Ersa back, but it dulled the ache her passing left behind. He’d always lived in her shadow, and he was okay with that. Not typical of an Oseram, but Ersa was far beyond typical. She was her own woman no matter what anyone else said. 

“It is so loud in the city. How does anyone think?” Aloy muttered under her breath.

“I don’t. I just drink.” 

Fire and spit, Erend. Is this what you want her to think of you? That you are nothing but a lazy drunk? Why had he said that?

He turned to see her disapproving look and knew she was indeed developing that opinion. 

The day before her Proving he had done all he could to impress her and now he was going to screw it all up if he couldn’t think straight. 

They approached his house and he turned to her. “This is me. Ignore the mess. I haven’t really tried to clean up lately.” He unlocked the door and they stepped inside.

He watched her take in her new surroundings. She didn’t seem as impressed by his home as she was with Olin’s. She poked at a pile of dirty laundry piled on the couch, ran her hands over the polished wood of his kitchen counter, and explored the majority of the small living room. He watched as she touched the device on her ear and turned in a slow circle, examining everything, taking in as much information as it could tell her.

When she turned back to him, he told her there was a bathroom off to her right if she wanted to get cleaned up and that he was going to go upstairs and change clothes. She nodded and he left her to her own devices. 

He was down to his underwear when Aloy appeared at the top of the stairs. “What is a shower?”

He nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t thought to explain running water to her. The Nora didn’t have such conveniences, he knew this. He had learned all he could about her people before heading out to Mother’s Heart. He turned to her. Her eyes trailed over his body and he was tempted to cover himself but knew her people had no problem with nudity and if he did so, she would think him less of a man. She was simply showing her appreciation of his strength by looking at him the way she was. 

“I… uh… I can show you, if you’d like.” He gestured for her to go back downstairs and she nodded. 

He made his way downstairs, forcing himself not to grab a tunic to hide his body from her. She examined him from the bottom of the stairs and he couldn’t help the blush that crept into his cheeks. If she didn’t stop, his body would start to have a different reaction to her gaze.

“You are very big.” She stated as a simple fact. “Most men I have seen don’t look like you.”

He knew she made the comment to show that she appreciated his body. He didn’t know what to say, if he should compliment her in turn or say thank you, so he chose only to nod. She smiled then and it made his stomach flutter. 

When he finally passed her on the way to the bathroom, he let out a breath he wasn’t aware he had been holding. Her gaze was so intense it made every muscle in his body tighten. He rolled his neck, trying to release some of that tension, only to tense again as he felt her small, cool hands on his back. 

“How did you get this?” 

She ran her fingers along the length of the scar that ran down his back. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the task of turning the water to just the right temperature.

“Scrapper caught me unaware.” He didn’t elaborate, not trusting his voice just then. 

“Oh. I have a few of those myself. Not as big as that one, but one caught me on the thigh. That was painful, but it didn’t bleed much. The scar is faint.” 

Erend was doing his best to focus on the water and not her voice, or think about seeing the scar on her thigh. It was a losing battle, because he became aware of her undressing behind him. He heard her boots hit the floor, followed by what he could only assume was the heavy skirt she wore over her leggings. He knew he had stood there too long when she reached over his shoulder to hold her hand under the water streaming from the shower head.

She squealed and he turned to her to see an excited glint in her eye and a full smile spread on her lips. “It’s warm. How is it warm?”

His mouth went dry and his throat tightened as he took in her naked body. Her tiny frame was sculpted in lean muscle. Her stomach wasn’t soft like most women he’d seen. Every inch of her spoke of power, strength. He remembered her telling him about how hard the Nora train to become Braves, and it showed. He could feel his body’s response stirring within his groin and he turned his eyes from her, hoping he wasn’t offending her. 

He shouldn’t have worried about that because he couldn’t hide the fact that he was growing hard under her gaze. His body had just paid her the highest compliment, even if he couldn’t bring his eyes back to hers. 

“I’ll be upstairs when you’re finished.” He pushed past her and made haste to his room. He heard another excited squeal as she stepped into the water and his now fully hard cock jerked in response. He gripped it then, knowing if he didn’t do something about it, he would be living with the throbbing need all night. 

He was stroking himself, nowhere near finding release, when she called out to him. 

Fuck.

He grabbed a tunic and threw it over his head and tried to get his thoughts in order before calling out to her through the door. 

He had forgotten to get her a towel. She was standing, dripping wet and starting to get cold. She told him this, for he hadn’t opened the door that stood between them. He vaulted back up to his room; finding a clean towel and then making his way back to her.

She must have heard him because she stood in the open doorway holding out her hand. Wet, she was even more appealing. The water dripping its way into places he so desperately wanted to touch. He had expected her to close the door once she had the towel but instead she dried herself in the doorway. He couldn’t help but watch as she bent to rub the water from her legs. His cock twitching with each new exploration of her body. Her breasts bounced as she ran the towel under them. Then she wrapped the towel around her hair and walked to her pack. 

He was tempted to walk up behind her and press his need into the swell of her ass, but he didn’t know if it would be welcome. She had done nothing but berate him for his bad behavior since finding him drunk at the gates of the city. 

Maybe asking her to stay with him was a bad idea. There was so much he hadn’t considered in his inebriated state.


	7. Welcome Home, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #ERLOY

The shower may have been one of the most glorious things Aloy had ever felt, the warm water cascading over her body, the slick heat as she ran her hands over her flesh. It was almost like a lover’s caress. Of course, she was still fairly inexperienced in that area, but it did feel almost as good as Nil’s hands. She thought of him for a moment, touching herself under the heat of the water, but her thoughts quickly went to the man upstairs. She had seen him begin to grow hard under her gaze and even without him being fully erect; he was the size of Nil. She wondered how much bigger he could possibly get. 

She let her thoughts and her fingers wander. Erend’s body was intimidating. With all of his armor, she had thought he would carry some fat around his middle, but she was excited to see he was pure muscle. When she ran her fingers across his back, she felt him tense, felt the reigned in power of his body. She had wanted to keep exploring but stopped when he seemed to grow uncomfortable. That thought had her hands ceasing their movements on her own body. 

She turned the water off, no longer wanting to stand under its embrace. She stepped out of the shower and searched the small room for something to dry herself off with. Finding nothing that would work, she called to Erend, hearing him groan loudly from above her. 

She frowned then. What had she said? What had she done? He had told her he wouldn’t be put out by her being here, but that noise said differently. 

He descended the stairs but did not enter the small bathing room. Instead, asking her through the door what it was she needed. She tried flirting, telling him that she was dripping wet and starting to get cold, hoping he would open the door and warm her up himself. It did not have the desired effect. She heard him mutter something under his breath and his footsteps climbing back up the stairs. 

Unsure what had caused his change of mood, she opened the door, hoping to see something in his eyes that would give her some clue to what she had done. He paused, staring at her for a heartbeat before handing her the towel. She was surprised how fluffy and soft the fabric was against her skin. Another convenience she had never had the pleasure of indulging in. It brought another smile to her face as she stroked the soft fabric down her legs. 

She looked up from drying herself to see the hungry look in Erend’s eyes, the same predatory look Nil would give her when he wanted her. It sent a thrill through her body and brought a new wetness between her legs. But Erend did not offer himself to her as Nil had, so she tried to ignore the fact that even with his shirt on, she could see his length protruding out in front of him. She grew more uncomfortable every second under his silent scrutiny, shifting her weight from one foot to the other before deciding that it may be a good idea to get dressed.

She went to her pack, gathering her clothing, and heard another groan from the man behind her. She turned back to him and watched as he tried to collect himself, rubbing a hand through his Mohawk. It confused her, this back and forth of emotions he was displaying. It was sweet of him to offer his home and she had hoped to be able to speak to him like they had the night they met, but he seemed to be struggling with her presence in his house. 

She sat her clothing aside, resolving that she may get something else she had come all the way to Meridian for. She stood and turned to face him. He wasn’t looking at her and didn’t notice when she reached for his hand. “Erend? You can touch me, if you want.” She placed his hand over her breast. 

That was all it took for Erend to lose every bit of self-control he was desperately trying to hold on to. He brought his other hand to her breast and squeezed them both, rolling her nipples. His mouth fell on hers and the kiss was harder than she expected, causing her to jump in surprise. His hand went behind her head as he deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into her. She could taste the Scrappersap on his tongue and found it just as intoxicating as it had been the first time. 

Erend walked her over to the couch, laying her down gently. His lips found her nipple and he sucked and licked, using his teeth to tug the hardened peak. Her back arched pressing his face into her body, his facial hair tickling her as he continued to suck and lick. 

His lips began moving down her body, only to be replaced by his teeth on her ribs, her hips. When his mouth found her core her fingers delved into his Mohawk and her hips lifted to meet his mouth. He licked her in slow consuming circles. The sensations pulling low moans from deep within her. His fingers joined his tongue and he sucked at her pearl as his fingers delved inside. He stroked her expertly, curling his fingers inside of her, turning her moans into screams and coating his hand with her juices. 

When he pulled away, Aloy whimpered. She wasn’t done with him. She looked at him and her breath caught in her throat as she took in just how big he actually was. He was definitely proportionate. His cock was so thick; she had to wonder if he could actually fit inside of her. 

He gripped himself, sliding his cock between her folds, spreading her juices until he could slip into her. He went slowly, seeming to know she would need to adjust to his girth. 

Her eyes rolled back, feeling him fill her up was an all-new sensation to her. He stretched her almost painfully, touching places Nil never had. 

When he was finally all the way inside her, he pumped into her slowly. Every stroke sent a shiver through her. His arms slid under her as he brought his body down on top of hers, keeping a majority of his weight on his elbows, he licked and sucked at the pulse in her neck. She wrapped her legs around him. Her hands stroked his muscled back. Again, they twitched under her touch. 

As he began to speed up he lifted his head, looking at her, watching the expressions play over her face. Aloy felt as if he were looking into her soul. Nil had never been so intimate with her. She had heard people use the term making love, but she’d never really understood it until this moment. It seemed Erend wanted to be inside every part of her being. 

She lifted her lips to his and kissed him with all of the passion building inside of her. His answering moan had her cumming around his thick length and he pulled away, with a loud groan. Her muscles clenched around him, trying to keep him in place. He buried his face into her neck, nipping at her collarbone. 

He continued to pump into her long after she came, bringing more and more small tremors to her body until his body began to shake over her. His weight pressed into her, nearly stealing her breath. It wasn’t uncomfortable; in fact, she liked feeling his body pressed into hers as if he couldn’t stop himself. 

When his orgasm came over him, he pulled out, stroking himself until he released onto her stomach. He sat back on his heels, out of breath and gazing at her with a look she couldn’t discern, but hoped to see again and again.

When he could speak, he said that they should probably get to bed. He took her hand and led her up to his bedroom. He turned to her, removing the towel from her hair and cleaning the evidence of their love-making from her skin.

He crawled into bed, lifting the covers and beckoning her to join him. She did, and she almost cried as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his body. She didn’t know why, but she had the overwhelming feeling of finding home. She barely knew this man. She had slept with Nil less than a week ago and he had never made her feel this way. Yet, everything about this moment seemed… right. Like she belonged here. 

 

Aloy woke to Erend’s hands on her body, his breath tickling her neck. 

“I was so sure last night was some alcohol-induced dream, but here you are.” He pulled her body into his and she was surprised how well they fit together, her small body melding into his much larger one.

“Here I am,” she mumbled sleepily.

He placed a kiss on her shoulder before rolling onto his back and stretching his stiff body. It popped and cracked and he moaned in relief. 

She was sore, her thighs ached, her core had a pulse. She rubbed herself and moaned as the ache began to spread. She had been stretched beyond what she thought was possible. It was excruciating on all levels. She wanted nothing more than to lie in bed the rest of the day as the ache subsided. But she also wanted more. She wanted him filling her up, stretching her to her limits.

Hearing her moans, Erend rolled back toward her. “I… uh… I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Was she in pain? A little. But did he hurt her? “It was uncomfortable at first, but after a moment, it was better than I could have anticipated.”

A smile came to his lips. “That’s good.” 

His smile shifted back to concern. “Aloy,” he asked, “Was that your first time? I mean, I know you were an Outcast, but I didn’t know if maybe there was an Outcast boy.”

The question made her slightly uncomfortable, one, because the person who had claimed her first was Nil, and, two, that she hadn’t known this would be something she would talk about with him. “No, no Outcast boy. A Carja boy, though boy doesn’t really suit him. Man would be better, or possibly lunatic. It was after I left the Embrace.” 

Erend smiled. “A lunatic?”

“It would seem I have a type.” She nudged his ribs with her elbow, thinking and hoping that this would drop the subject. 

“Are you calling me a lunatic?” He rolled pinning her shoulders to the bed.

She squirmed underneath him but his hold was like iron.

“I’ve thought about you a lot since the day I saw you on the mountain.” 

“And I’ve thought about you every day since I realized I would be heading to Meridian.” She lifted her lips to his in a tender kiss.


	8. The Field of the Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of in-game regurgitation here... sorry.

Erend’s mouth hung open and his lips moved but no words came out. 

“What? Say something.” This was the second set of armor Aloy had tried on and still, it didn’t feel quite right. The Oseram Sparkworker was much lighter than the Arrow Breaker, but her movements still felt somewhat stifled. And it was hot. The Carja sun beat down on the material making her sweat almost instantly. She knew she would need to find something that could breathe a little better, maybe something that was treated for this stifling heat. And she didn’t want to admit it, but the material was ugly. Not that armor should be pretty, but compared to what she was used to wearing, it made her feel manly, boorish. 

“That one. Yes, get it.” Erend was nodding his head emphatically.

“Really? You like this one?” She examined herself again, wondering what Erend was thinking. She began tugging at the fabric. “It’s hot.”

“Yes, it… Oh, right. I forgot you aren’t used to the weather here. Takes some adjusting.” His face grew flush and he cleared his throat.

Aloy examined him curiously before turning back to her other options. It was then that she saw the supple, burnished, Carja leathers. It was similar to the fabric she was used to wearing and when she touched the treated leather, it was as if she were brushing her hands along silky furs. Her eyes lit up, knowing that she had found what she had been looking for. The merchant mentioned that these leathers should give her some relief from the heat and that only made the armor more appealing.

“Carja leathers? Over Oseram steel?” Erend crossed his arms over his chest with a slight frown on his face.

She stepped back into the stall and changed quickly. Immediately she felt some relief from the Carja sun. She couldn’t decide if it was because of the blue silk pressed against her heated flesh, or the fact that her entire midsection was exposed. She should have realized Carja armor offered little in that department. She’d seen Nil’s armor and many Carja walked around half naked. She couldn’t blame them. 

When she stepped out this time with a smile on her face, Erend knew she had settled on what she was wearing. “It’s… pretty.” He offered, but still scowled at her choice. 

The merchant asked the hefty price of seven-hundred and eighty shards and a Charger Heart. Luckily, Aloy had prepared and had the shards and heart on hand. She had spoken with a few merchants between the Embrace and Meridian and had learned that lenses and hearts were common currency. 

“Alright, let’s get some food and some coffee and be on our way. We have a lot of ground to cover and that took longer than expected.”

“Coffee?” Aloy assumed this was something to drink since Erend had stated that it was to go with the food, she just hoped it wasn’t another form of alcohol.

“You’ve never had coffee?”

“No. What is it?” Aloy had to nearly jog to keep up with Erend’s long strides but it didn’t bother her. She liked moving quickly.

“It’s a ground bean that is roasted and you pour hot water over it.”

“It sounds disgusting.” Why would someone grind roasted beans and make a drink out of it?

They approached the bakery at the end of the square and Erend ordered their food. Aloy had never seen half of the things the vendor had on display and was tempted to touch each one, to sample them. She knew the merchant wouldn’t appreciate it, but the aromas had her stomach grumbling. It didn’t care if she had never tried these things before. It wanted them. 

They waited a few moments as their food was being prepared. The merchant then handed Erend what appeared to be three small loaves of bread and two mugs. He handed her one of the loaves and one of the mugs. She examined the tiny loaf, wondering if this was all of the sustenance she would be getting before heading out on the trail. Then she sniffed the coffee and found that this was one of the enticing aromas she had been drawn to. The liquid in the cup was a light brown and she didn’t see any beans floating around inside, so she took a sip. 

A jolt ran through her body. The warm liquid was sweet and bitter. She looked at Erend to find him smiling. 

“It’s good, huh?”

“Yes, very good.” 

She examined the roll next, wondering if it was going to be as surprisingly good. She bit into it. The dough was warm and filled with meat. She definitely hadn’t expected that since most of what had been on display seemed to be coated in sugar. She smiled again, turning to Erend. “I could get used to this.” 

He laughed and told her to finish her coffee so they could leave the mug and she did, wishing she could have savored the warm, sweet liquid.

 

By the time they had made it to the gates of Meridian, Erend was regretting his decision to give Aloy coffee. He was used to drinking it. It was the perfect cure for a hangover. He had forgotten that for most people it was an energy boost, and that was definitely not something she needed.

She bounced on her feet, flitting from one thing to the next like a bee. His head was abuzz with her constant muttering. It seemed she had a running commentary on every little thing. She was giving him a headache.

“Slow down, Aloy.” He called as she darted ahead.

“I’ll be right back,” she called over her shoulder. Then she was gone. 

Erend grumbled. Not even five minutes into their journey and he’d lost her. This was going to be a long day. He didn’t try to catch her, knowing it would be no use. He wouldn’t be able to pick up her trail. But he didn’t have to wait long before he caught sight of her, mounted atop a Broadhead. He had heard the rumors of her riding in on one, but thought them fanciful musings of the Carja. 

She bounded up next to him and extended her hand. “Climb on up.”

Erend studied the mount for a moment before deciding to trust her. “So, the rumors about you being a machine tamer are true.” He adjusted his seat behind her, allowing them both to find a comfortable position before she took off. He was forced to hold onto her hips to keep his seat. 

From behind her, he yelled directions into her ear, that being the only way she could hear him over the roar of the wind as it whipped past them and it didn’t take long for them to reach the site of Ersa’s murder. 

A heaviness settled over Erend as he took in the scene before him. There were smears of blood, weapons and a few armor pieces still lying about. He brought his fingers to the ridge of his nose to stifle the tears he felt springing to his eyes. 

They dismounted the large machine and Aloy turned to him, her expression of glee from the ride, now turning somber as she sensed his growing misery. She placed her hand on his arm. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

No. He wasn’t. They were standing on the site where his sister was murdered, but he knew she was trying to be sympathetic. “Well, I’m sober. So, no.”

She frowned at his joke, “Well, I’m glad you’re thinking straight, at least.”

“Don’t get used to it.” He muttered, bringing another sigh from Aloy.

“Tell me exactly what happened to Ersa. Start from the beginning.”

“No one knows for sure. She left in the middle of the night with a few of her best men.”

Aloy was confused by this. She’d seen Erend’s strength. “Her best men? But she didn’t bring you?”

Erend’s face fell as he once again had to tell her about his drinking habits. “No… I’d been drinking a lot. Maybe she thought…” Thought he was a worthless drunk. That he would be useless because he couldn’t stop living life like it was a party. “Damn. I don’t know. That I couldn’t hack it. Search parties found their bodies the next day, and the corpses of some Shadow Carja cowards. It was an ambush.”

Aloy could see the tears well in his eyes. She closed the distance between them and took his hand in hers.

“The Shadow Carja are animals. They beat her so bad we can’t even show her face before burial.” He leaned into her then, burying his face in the tangles of her hair. She pulled him into her arms, letting him know she was there for him.

“I’m so sorry, Erend.” She whispered softly.

He stayed in her arms for a moment, but when he pulled back he had gathered his resolve. “Yeah, well – when I find the soldiers who did this, they’ll be sorry, too.”

“Alright, show me where Ersa fell, and I’ll do what I can to help.”

“It’s just over here.” He walked a few feet from where they stood and gestured to a small clearing on the path that had led them here. 

Aloy flipped on her focus. Immediately things began to grow confusing. Yes, she found the Carja weapons, but they were unused, the blades and arrows still freshly sharpened. There was blood, but it had fallen in almost a pattern, not like a body had fallen and bled out. And then she found the one piece of evidence that made it all make sense, cart tracks. Ersa and her men were not killed here. 

“What are you seeing,” Erend questioned.

“This bloodstain, it forms a line, like it was dripping from somewhere. Maybe a cart. And look cart tracks. I think somebody moved the bodies here, the scattered them across the field.”

“Wait are you saying the dead found here were killed somewhere else? But why would the Shadow Carja do that?”

“At this point, I’m not taking it for granted that the Shadow Carja were responsible.” The unused blades, arrows, and armor, didn’t point to the fight this seemed to be. 

“Of course they were.” His voice rose as his anger over the situation came to a head. Aloy knew it wasn’t directed at her, but chose not to push the issue. He wouldn’t listen. He’d made up his mind what had happened here. He just wanted Aloy to point him in the direction of those who did it.

“Well, let’s follow these tracks and find out.”

 

The cart tracks led them straight into an ambush, surprising both of them. But it wasn’t the Shadow Carja, just as Aloy had assumed. It was the Oseram, Erend’s own people. 

Erend and Aloy took the ambushers down easily, but not before they had somehow managed to summon two Sawtooths. Aloy dove into the tall grass and placed her blast traps, pulled out her Tripcaster and strung two lines, one on each side of her. When she was done, she looked up to see Erend taking on one of the beasts with his hammer. Her heart pounded and she lifted her bow, taking precision shots to blast away the metal beast’s armor. 

The second of the Sawtooths honed in on her and Aloy couldn’t help but smile as it hit trap after trap, her bow finishing off the beast before it could even take a swipe at her. 

The fight was over. Aloy took a deep breath to steady herself and felt the slow creep of need pulse through her. What had Nil done to her? She had never had this problem before, but now she ached to feel the sweet release. 

Erend ran to her side. “Damn girl. You are good with that thing.”

She smiled slightly. “Thanks. I’m going to search the area. I have a feeling we are going to find the answers to Ersa’s murder here.”

He nodded and she walked away, trying to make herself focus on the task at hand.

After collecting all of the evidence she could, she had come up with a rather strange revelation. What if Ersa hadn’t been killed? All signs she had found pointed to a cover-up. Someone hiding their tracks. The leather straps she had found were very similar to the armor Erend wore. The Vanguard weapons were as clean and unused as the Carja weapons they stumbled across earlier. 

She approached Erend, not sure if she should be giving him what could be false hope, but wanting to tell him that he may not have to mourn the loss of his sister after all. She decided she would explain her findings and see if he would come to the same conclusion. 

The excitement in his voice as he realized his sister might not be dead had her heart soaring. She was so happy that she could bring him some sense of relief, and she prayed to the All-Mother for the first time in her life, begging to be right.

 

They rode back to Meridian in companionable silence, but she could feel Erend getting antsy behind her. They didn’t even make it to her drop-off zone for the Broadhead before Erend leaped off and bolted for the gates.

She wondered if she should leave him to investigate and track down her own leads, but found she wanted the answers to Ersa’s demise as much as he did. So she hopped off of her mounts back and made her way to the city. She didn’t know where she was going. Where did someone keep a dead body? 

She had been wandering for a while when she saw the gates to the palace. Maybe Ersa’s body was somewhere inside. It made her a bit nervous, not knowing what kind of reception she would find, but she walked past the guards unimpeded. It was only when she reached what would be the entrance that she was stopped.

A man named Blameless Maraud introduced himself and told her that King Avad was awaiting her presence. She didn’t understand. Why would the Sun-King want to see her? She heard her own thoughts echoed in the nobles that lined the pathway to the King’s throne.

Apparently, Erend was already there and explaining their findings to King Avad.

Maraud gestured for her to approach the throne and he followed close behind. She had heard many stories of the Sun-King but none of them mentioned how young and handsome he was. She knew he was the previous King’s son, but that didn’t tell her anything. And his voice was as smooth as Carja silk.

“Aloy of the Nora – She who sees the unseen. Welcome. It would seem you have done me a great service.”

Aloy nodded, not sure what else to say or do. She had never been in the presence of royalty before.

He gestured to Erend. “Erend, tell her what you’ve found.”

“I checked Ersa’s tomb. You were right, Aloy. The body is missing a scar below her right knee. I gave it to Ersa when we were kids fighting over a toy sword.”

“If the body is not Ersa’s, we must assume she is still alive. And I will not abandon her," Sun-King Avad said, looking to his surrounding company.

The fervor behind his words had Aloy wondering just what Ersa was to the King. “We only know she was taken. Not who took her.”

Maraud mentioned an Oseram tinkerer, Dervhal. This raised Erend’s hackles. He said it couldn’t be possible, that everyone had been looking for the man. As the men around her stood making plans, Aloy took a moment to take in the Sun-King. He looked so much like Nil, yet so different. His skin was warmer, his eyes darker. Even though he was the King, Erend’s presence was more commanding. Avad was softer, pretty even. 

Her examination of him ceased as he came closer. She had heard him say he could send his Vanguard and he smiled when he said, “and perhaps an exceptionally gifted Nora as well.”

She, again, was at a loss for words, and simply returned his smile and nodded.

He turned to Erend and Maraud, dismissing them, wanting to be alone with her. Maybe it was because she had said so little during the meeting, she didn’t know, but it made her nervous to be alone with him. 

“I hate to impose after all you’ve done but this is a matter of great importance to me.” 

Again she felt like there was more to him and Ersa than King and military commander, so she said, “It seems like Ersa means a lot to you.”

He explained how she helped liberate his kingdom from his father and kept the peace with the Oseram, but nothing further. She asked about Dervhal and he told her about the Red Raids and him losing his family. Then about Ersa’s role alongside Dervhal. 

She decided to ask him about the Shadow Carja, to which he gave a description she’d heard before. She asked about the Oseram and he couldn’t stop talking about Ersa’s role in keeping the peace. He wasn’t giving her much that she wanted to know but thought that maybe he didn’t trust her well enough to divulge any real information. 

So, she decided to goad him a bit and see how he responded to that. “Quite the place you’ve got here. You can almost see the little people below the Mesa.”

He laughed then. “You don’t approve? Well, I have a secret for you.” He leaned in, his voice softening to a mock whisper, as if he were truly sharing this in secret. “Neither do I. But we must be patient. Change won’t come in a single sunrise.”

She smiled at that and realized she liked goading a King who took it in good humor. “But will it come at all, while men live in palaces?”

His smile widened. “It might. Eventually. If people like you help me bring it about.”

The change in his tone had her wondering if there was more to that statement than he was letting on.

She then decided to ask him about the rumors of him being a Sun-God bent on uniting the tribes in harmony, and he retorted, thinking to lay rumors at her feet but was taken aback when she told him that the rumors about her weren’t far from the truth. 

“Well, I would like to unite the tribes in harmony, but you saw how many courtiers I have to deal with. Maybe next week.”

They both laughed and Aloy decided then that she liked Avad. He seemed to be kind and genuine. He didn’t carry an air of authority, or talk down to her. His easy smile was pleasant and not at all what she had expected. 

But it was his next words that surprised her most. 

“They say a king should never beg, but please help me find Ersa.”


	9. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy explores Meridian while awaiting the next move in finding Ersa's kidnappers.
> 
> #erloy #alvad

It would be a few days before they headed out to Pitchcliff. Erend needed to settle some things with the Vanguard that would be staying behind. Maraud told them to hold out for more information from his informant. All involved wanted to make sure they had everything lined up to take Ersa’s kidnapper down without hesitation. 

This left Aloy with nothing to do. She had never had the luxury of being idle before and she hated it. She told Erend that she could just head out to find Olin, but he grew angry. They needed to be ready to move as soon as word reached the city. She thought about going out to see what Meridian had to offer but that would leave Erend’s house unlocked and open to anyone who chose to walk by. So she paced the interior of the small house until she was sure she was wearing ruts in his floorboards. 

When he came by, on break from his rounds, she voiced her objections to this arrangement, loudly. “Erend, I can’t stay cooped up in here. It’s driving me insane. I need to get out and do something, anything.” She began her pacing again. Her frustration blooming on her face and her arms swinging wildly as she spoke.

“Woah.” Erend grabbed her by the shoulders to still her movements and quickly realized that was a mistake as she twisted away from him with a glower. “Okay. I’ll get you a key.” He held his hands up to fend off any further attack. 

That settled her a bit. “A key? To your house?”

“Yeah,” His voice suddenly uncertain. He ran his fingers through his Mohawk and sighed before continuing. “That way you can come and go as you please. And later on, when you need someplace to stay, you’ll have one.” 

Aloy’s stomach fluttered. He was going to give her a key to his house. He trusted her enough to let her live with him. This would be the place she would constantly return to. He was ensuring it. “Are you asking me to live with you, Erend Vanguardsman,” she asked jokingly.

“No…” He had his hands up in a placating gesture, but they quickly fell to his sides. “Maybe… Look, do you want a key or not?” He was getting flustered and Aloy couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yes, I’d like a key.” She raised herself onto her tiptoes and kissed his soft lips. He smiled into the kiss, gripping her by the waist, his fingers sliding over her exposed middle. She pulled back to look into his eyes. “But until you get me one, I am leaving. I have to get out of here.” 

At his panicked look, she added, “I’m not leaving the city, just this house. I was thinking of seeing what Meridian has to offer. I haven’t really been able to explore.”

He relaxed, his forehead meeting hers. “Fair enough. I’ll be back around dinner time. We can go to the tavern and get something to eat when I get back, if you want.”

She nodded her assent and they left the house together. 

Aloy talked to many of the merchants in the square. Most were looking for artifacts and someone to go delving for them. She had told a few that she would look when she went back out on the road again. They told her that they would pay her handsomely and she was quickly running short on shards. 

She made her way down to the little bakery Erend had taken her to and ordered a coffee. This time she was able to enjoy the rich aroma and the lingering bitter taste as she sipped it slowly. She wanted to try one of the sweets on display but stopped herself from wasting the money. Everything in Meridian was so expensive. Even the coffee was five shards. 

She was eyeing the case for the third time when she heard someone approach. She moved to the side but didn’t stop her slow examination of the goods. She was about to ask the merchant another question about another of the sweets when a silky voice said from right beside her, “Whatever the lady wants.”

Lady? Who would call her that? She turned when a gentle hand was placed on the small of her back. 

“What would you like, Aloy?” King Avad was gesturing to all of the morsels she had been drooling over for the better part of an afternoon. 

His hand on her bare skin, paired with his silky voice, sent a chill up her spine and she had to force herself not to shift away from his touch. “I… uh… I don’t know. It all looks so good. I’ve never had anything that even looks similar to the things in there.”

“Can I make a suggestion?” He smiled sweetly, and his fingers played over her skin. The touch wasn’t sexual, just a tender caress. She had seen that many Carja touched when speaking to each other. She didn’t understand the necessity of it. But she also felt like this touch was more than what she’d witnessed before.

“Of course.” Aloy’s nerves continued to grow. He hadn’t removed his hand and it felt like he was showing all who chose to witness this encounter, that he was claiming her. 

When he finally moved away from her to place their order, she breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn’t realized how fast her heart rate had speed until it was slowly starting to come back down. It took her a moment to gather herself and by that time Avad was gesturing to the table she had left moments ago. 

They sat across from each other in silence for a few moments, until someone placed Avad’s selections before them. Aloy was surprised to see that he had not chosen one, but three of the expensive pastries from the case. 

“I went to all of the inn’s looking for you. I was hoping to be able to pay for your stay here in Meridian. You have done so much for us already. I felt it would only be fair.” His eyes were soft when he spoke, touched by a bit of sadness, but his smile never wavered. 

He had searched the city for her? “That is very kind of you but I am not staying in one of the inns. The only things I have purchased in the city have been my armor and a mug of coffee.” 

When she made no move to partake of the small feast laid out before her, Avad broke off a piece of one of the pastries and handed it to her. “Try this one first. It’s a little on the sweet side, and if you don’t like it, it will only make the others taste better.”

She took the piece of sticky dough from him and watched as he sucked the remnants from his fingers, his tongue darting out to lick the tips. She knew she was staring, but the act had her thoughts straying elsewhere. 

When she made no effort to bring the piece to her lips, Avad reached over and lifted her hand to her mouth, bringing the sticky pastry to her slightly parted lips.

“Just try it. I promise it’s not poisoned.” The corner of his mouth quirked in a small smile. 

She opened a bit wider and Avad practically fed her with her own hand. The doughy bite was indeed sweet, and she found she liked it very much. It had a spice to it that she couldn’t name and nuts mixed in with the sticky glaze that coated the dough. 

“If you have no place to stay, you are more than welcome to stay at the palace.” He continued as if the small interlude of teasing fingers and his touch hadn’t just happened. “I have plenty of room and the baths are amazing. One of my girls would make sure you no longer had a care in the world.”

Aloy must have looked confused because Avad continued, “Massage. They know how to work out all of the aches and pains in your body.”

“Thank you…” She realized she had no idea how to address the Sun-King in public and he picked up on it.

“For you, always Avad. There is no need for you to have a reverent title for me. You are Nora after-all. I am not your King.”

“Thank you, Avad, but I do have a place to stay.” She wasn’t sure if she should tell him that she was staying with Erend. She didn’t know how he would feel about anyone knowing. They weren’t married. And she was still learning the customs of the other tribes. 

“Very well, but you must think of some way that I can thank you properly. If I can’t give you a place to stay, is there anything else you need?” 

Aloy could think of nothing. However, she was curious about the baths and massage. “Are the baths in the palace heated like the showers?”

Avad gave a small chuckle. “Ahh, yes. The Nora have bathhouses. Erend told me the water in them is cold. How do you stand it?” He leaned in with a curious expression on his face.

“I guess if you don’t know any other way, it’s not so bad.” That was a lie. Aloy always hated bathing in cold water, but it was necessary. The Nora didn’t have the heaters, or the pipes that ran through Meridian. 

“Well, if a heated bath is all you want, then I can hardly deny you. Come by tomorrow and we will have lunch and then you can take as much time as you want.”

Aloy assured him that she would and Avad took his leave. When he was finally out of sight, she relaxed. She wasn’t sure what it was about Avad’s presence that made her so nervous. He was the Sun-King. Yet, he hadn’t done anything other than be kind to her. Maybe it was the way he praised her so openly. She had done very little for him and he was doing his best to try and do something for her in return. 

 

After her interlude with Avad, Aloy felt it best to return to Erend’s house. She now felt slightly uncomfortable walking the streets of Meridian. The Sun-King had been looking for her, and now every eye turned in her direction, every whisper wondered what she was to him. She wanted to scream at them, tell them that she had only met him yesterday, but she didn’t. 

When the door finally opened, she greeted Erend happily. Her nerves had been overworked and his smile settled the restlessness writhing inside of her.

“Have a fun time exploring,” He asked before placing a kiss on her cheek.

And just like that, her nerves were back. “It was… interesting. Avad kind of cornered me in the bakery.”

“Cornered?”

“Well, no, not cornered. He bought me pastries and we talked. He asked me to come to the palace tomorrow.” She couldn’t explain to Erend how she had felt trapped by his presence or his hand on her skin. How he had touched her so easily, almost fondly. 

“That doesn’t sound so bad. He’s a nice guy, Aloy. He probably wanted to thank you, as much on my behalf as his.” He placed his hand on her arm and rubbed some of her tension away.

“He wanted me to stay in the palace. I told him that I already had a place to stay.” At his raised eyebrows, she confessed, “I didn’t tell him it was here. I didn’t know how you would feel about that.”

Erend smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen on her face. “I don’t mind people knowing.” He kissed her softly on the lips, his hands finding her waist.

Her overworked nerves responded to his hands on her body. “Erend,” she whispered into his mouth. 

Their clothes fell to the floor, each doing the work to ensure it was done efficiently. Aloy led him to the couch, pushing him down onto the seat. She straddled him, his hands cupping her breasts. She rocked into him, feeling him grow hard beneath her. His cock stroked her clit, sliding between her tender folds, growing slick around him. Aloy gripped Erend’s neck and pulled his lips to her breasts. She arched out, placing her other hand on his thigh, giving him easier access. 

His lips tugged and teased her into a frenzy. She raised her hips giving her the angle she would need to slide over him, but it wasn’t as easy as she remembered. She sat forward for a better angle and found she couldn’t yet take him into her body. She groaned in irritation and was surprised when Erend spit into his hand and stroked it over his cock. He lifted her back into position. 

This time she slid down easily, but slowly, having to work herself over him to gain the stretch her body needed. She would never get over the sensations that ran through her body as he filled her. She would never stop wanting it. As she rode him, she felt the tugging of her heart along with the incredible pleasure he brought her. 

She would never stop wanting him.

When they finished, Erend picked her up and sat her on his lap facing away from him. He wrapped his arms around her as he fell to his side. She giggled as they tumbled onto the couch and they lay there until both were asleep, all thoughts of the dinner they had discussed earlier forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone awaiting #Alvad, this next one will be for you ;)


	10. The Bathhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy has lunch with King Avad and takes him up on the offer of a warm bath and massage, but gets a little more than she bargained for.
> 
> #alvad

Avad couldn’t deny the little Nora was quite beautiful. He’d never seen anyone with her wild, flame red hair or her expressive, pale green eyes. She had a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks, giving her a sun-kissed, yet pale complexion. The Carja leathers she wore set all of these features off and exposed her muscular body. He found his eyes wandering to her stomach more times than he wanted to admit. Most Carja women didn’t wear armor or expose their midsection in such a fashion. The men, yes, but Carja women tended to be soft, docile. Many times he had looked at the women that came through his palace as nothing more than ornamentation for their husband’s arms. 

That was one of the things he loved about Ersa. She would never be considered anyone’s property, even though her own people saw women that way. While he knew that one of the reasons she wouldn’t be with him was because the ties between their tribes were fragile, he always had a nagging suspicion that she was afraid of being property. Avad didn’t have the heart to treat her that way, so he satisfied himself with stolen kisses and her near-constant presence at his side.

With her gone, he’d felt a bit lost. He knew his people well enough, knew his role as King, was confident in his abilities to lead his people, but he had just begun to develop strong ties with the Oseram and was now attempting to create those ties with the Nora. He knew very little about either culture. His father did nothing to educate him on the other tribes, feeling they were beneath him. The Oseram were a bunch of drunken laborers. The Nora, savages.

While Avad couldn’t deny there was something wild about Aloy, she seemed to be as smart as any Carja he’d met, and her curiosity knew no bounds. She sat across from him, peppering him with all sorts of questions. What was his father like? Why were so many sacrificed? Who built Meridian? Why did the Carja consider the Sun a god? Why did the Carja men decorate their faces? It seemed anything that popped into her head came out of her mouth. He found he wanted to sate every curiosity she had. When answers pleased her, a small smile would tug at the corner of her lips and when they didn’t she scowled. And she was argumentative. He liked that as well. He’d grown used to people not questioning his word. Even Ersa would bend to his demands, as he was her King, but Aloy had no ties to him and didn’t feel the need to coddle his pride.

“What do you like most about my city,” He asked her.

That endearing scowl crossed her face for a moment before she answered. “Your city?” He could hear the disapproval dripping from her lips. “Well, I like that there are new smells on every corner. I like that there is so much to see and do. Everything here is new to me.”

Through the course of their conversation, she had taken special offense to the way he chose to word things. He was speaking as a King and she didn’t like it. If only he knew how to drop pretenses. For years he had been corrected and guided by Maraud when he became less than kingly and his habits had formed around his gentle persuasion. He was happy to find her disapproval never lasted long but he worried about the opinion she was developing of him.

He didn’t know why it mattered to him, but he wanted the girl to like him. He wanted her to be able to give a good opinion of him to others, but it was more than that. He wanted her to know him. He wanted to know her. He’d never met anyone like her and she was quickly getting under his skin. In their first conversation, she had asked him about the rumors surrounding his rise to kingship, if he was a Sun-God, and he had thought to teach her that you can’t rely on rumor, questioning her ability to tame machines, split an arrow at fifty paces and see the unseen. She gave a small laugh before telling him the rumors about her were not rumors at all. This surprised him. He had thought the stories nothing more than fanciful musings, but he’d seen her and Erend ride in on a Broadhead, and his friend had confirmed her battle prowess and her ability to see what others had not. Everything about her intrigued him.

Their lunch was delivered during her tirade of questions and Baniti, his serving girl, raised an eyebrow, probably thinking Aloy was way out of line. He smiled at her, letting her know he wasn’t offended. Aloy stopped mid-sentence to thank her and he saw a pleased smile cross her face before she turned to leave.

“What is all this?” She looked at the platter in front of them with a gleam in her eye.

“Pomegranates, strawberries, melon, spiced ham, and soft cheese.” He pointed to each, in turn, watching Aloy nod as if she were taking inventory and memorizing each new food presented to her. 

She picked up a strawberry and bit into it, making a low sucking noise as she pulled the fruit from its stem. “Oh, I like that.” She smiled and then picked up a pomegranate, examining it. “How do you eat this?”

Avad opened his half, spreading the seeds and bit into the red pearls. She followed his example, but she didn’t have the look on her face that he had expected.

“The juice is good, but I don’t like the seeds in the middle, too bitter.”

Avad watched as she did the same with the rest of the food. Examining it, smelling it, before sinking her teeth into it. For someone so small, she seemed to have quite an appetite. He allowed her to have her fill, only eating his pomegranate until she was finished. 

“I am thirsty,” She stated and Avad realized then that she hadn’t touched her wine goblet.

“There is wine in your glass. Have as much as you want.”

“I… uh… I don’t drink alcohol. The Nora believe in always having a clear head.” She looked away sheepishly and he thought he saw a blush creep under her freckles.

Another thing he did not know about her people. “So, you’ve never had anything alcoholic?”

She gave a small chuckle. “I’ve had Scrappersap. I liked it, but it burned my throat and made my head spin for quite some time afterward.”

“Well, I assure you, wine is nothing like Scrappersap. That stuff is potent enough to knock Erend on his…” He stopped himself, realizing he was about to say ass. He cleared his throat. “It is potent. Wine is much gentler. I doubt you will have any ill effects after one glass.”

She eyed the goblet, not sure if she should trust his evaluation. He honestly couldn’t blame her if her first experience with alcohol was the wicked Oseram concoction. He’d never had the stuff, but he’d seen its effects. 

When she finally wrapped her fingers around the goblet’s stem, he couldn’t help but smile. She was trusting him. 

Her expressive eyebrows rose once again, “It tastes like juice, but not.” He watched her throat work as she downed the rest of the ruby liquid. He wanted to tell her to slow down, to take small sips, but he didn’t. He liked that she didn’t know there was a specific way wine was supposed to be enjoyed. But when she reached for the decanter, he stopped her. 

“Maybe we should see how you handle the first glass before you drink another.” 

She nodded and brought her hands to her lap.

They sat in silence for a few moments before it grew uncomfortable. “Would you like to see the baths now?”

She smiled, nodding again. She did that a lot. Words tumbled out of her mouth when she wanted answers, but if she felt a nod would suffice, that was all she gave. Sometimes it came with an expression that hinted at what she was thinking, but usually, it was a simple tilt of her head. 

Avad watched her waver between awe and disapproval as he walked her through the palace, but she chose not to say anything that she may be thinking. He told her what each room was for as they passed it and again, she seemed to be making a mental map. He was fairly certain that by the time they reached his chambers, she would know the best way to sneak into the palace and make it to him without anyone noticing. It was a little unnerving, but she’d never given him any reason to think she would attempt anything so devious. She simply liked to be aware of her surroundings. Nothing he could fault her for. She was in a strange land, with a strange man and he was leading her only he knew where. 

“These are my chambers,” he stated as he pushed open the double doors. 

A flush came over her. “We are going to your bedroom?”

Avad chuckled, “Yes. The baths are connected to my room, as are the guest quarters and the servant’s quarters. Everyone has access to them at all times, however, I did ensure that no one else would be here while you were here. I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

She nodded and took in the room around her. This time her curiosity came bubbling to the surface. “So much space for one man. And your bed could easily fit five people.” She ran her fingers over the silks that covered the length of the wall she was closest to. 

“It is meant to be a private retreat for the King’s family. I just happen to be one man.” And that wasn’t likely to change anytime soon. 

His unhappiness at the thought must have shown on his face because Aloy placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s alright, Aloy. Maybe one day I will find a woman strong enough to stand at my side, without concern for what it will do to relations between the tribes.”

She smiled then, and it stirred something inside him. Her smile seeming to say that she had faith he would. 

He cleared his throat, not wanting to address whatever new emotion was coming over him at the sincerity in her smile. “The baths are just through here.”

They entered the room together, Avad explaining that there were scented oils she could use and towels on the bench to her right. Baniti would be in after a while to see to her needs. He told her the different uses for the two baths, one being salt water to help with muscle cramps and the other without but heated just the same. 

When he turned back to her, she had removed a majority of her clothing. His breath caught in his lungs and his throat grew tight. He had not thought that she would undress with him still in the room. She bent to remove her sandals, slipping the buckles expertly through her fingers and then sliding her leggings off. There seemed to be no hint of desire on her face as she turned to face him. 

He looked away quickly, turning his back to her. He hadn’t meant to stare at her, but her body was amazing, as if she was sculpted by expert hands. He’d seen her taut stomach many times, and the rest of her was also corded in lean muscle, yet she had shapely thighs and perky breasts that gave her womanly curves. Even though he’d turned away from her, his mind refused to release her image.

“Avad,” she questioned, from behind him.

He did his best not to turn toward her voice. “Yes.”

“Do you find my body displeasing?” The slight hint of anger in her words confused him and he turned to face her then, but she had sunk below the water. At least now he could breathe. 

“Why would you say that? I only thought to protect your modesty.” He could feel ire rising within him, but he didn’t know why.

“Oh,” she said shyly. “The Nora are not modest. We take pride in our bodies. We train hard to earn what we have. What you just did was actually highly offensive.”

She wasn’t berating him, only stating it as fact. She seemed to realize this may be something he didn’t know about her people. He had asked many questions about them during their earlier conversation, but he never thought to ask her about public nudity. Of course, he’d never planned to attend a public bathhouse in the Nora’s homeland either. 

“Aloy, I meant no offense. I promise. Your body is quite spectacular.” 

She smiled and shifted to stand, but Avad held up his hands, “However, I am not used to women walking around naked in front of me. For me it is… uncomfortable. For Carja men, nudity relates directly to sex. We have not been taught to separate an appreciation of the body from our desires.” Sun-God take him. He hoped he wasn’t making this situation worse. 

She nodded her head in understanding but gave no other hint of what she was thinking.

“I will be in my rooms when you are finished.” He headed for the door, moving quicker than was necessary.

When he made it to his room, he pressed his back against the wall trying to regain some sense of composure, to bring his breathing back under control and stop the growing response of his throbbing cock. His mind spun in turmoil. This was not how he had planned for this day to go. He had only wanted to befriend Aloy, not make her the object of his sexual desires. His love was off somewhere suffering in captivity. Thoughts of Aloy should be far from his mind, but he couldn’t stop himself. She was naked and just on the other side of his bedroom door. 

He could hear her splashing… playing in the water, and her appreciate moans of the warmth surrounding her. He groaned, his head falling back as he prayed to the Sun-God that this would be over soon. 

He couldn’t just leave his room in his current state. How would that look? The King walking through the halls with a hard-on. A growl of frustration left him as he decided he would have to do something about it. 

The door was still slightly open and he had a perfect view of the small pool Aloy had chosen. She was leaning back against the edge of the pool, her breasts bobbing in the water as she lifted her legs and kicked her feet and then brought them back down, repeating the motion. 

He undid the sash at his waist, allowing him to pull his cock free. He stroked himself as he watched her, gripping the door frame to steady himself. 

He was deep in thoughts of Aloy’s body on his when he heard someone enter the room behind him. It was obvious that he was caught. There was no hiding what he was doing. If his own moans hadn’t given him away, the jerking motion of his arm surely had. 

“Luminance? Are you needing some assistance?” Baniti purred over his shoulder.

Her fingers stroked the bare skin of his back and he looked back to her over his shoulder. This was not the first time she had offered herself to him. It had been her job to see to his desires once, but that was before he had been able to release her from slavery. Yet, it had never stopped her from offering her aid many times since becoming a paid servant. 

“I don’t mind if you are thinking of her. She is quite lovely, wild. Makes you want to tame her, doesn’t it.” She slid her hand over his, stroking with him. 

He turned to her then, and she dropped to her knees. Her thick lips wrapping around him, the slick heat of her mouth bringing further moans from deep within him. He turned to find Aloy nowhere in sight, but he didn’t stop Baniti’s mouth or her hands. He would cum quickly enough. 

He closed his eyes giving into the sensation of her mouth as she sucked, licked and stroked him. He was close to his brink when he tried to catch sight of Aloy once more before he found release and jumped when he saw her standing just outside the door, watching Baniti with almost a clinical curiosity. He watched her follow the movement of her tongue, the way she gripped his base. She made the same motion with her hand, and it dawned on Avad that she was learning. Baniti was unknowingly teaching her how to please a man. 

Her eyes met his, and he was afraid she would run, but she didn’t. She simply stood watching the expressions play over his face. And again, he realized she was learning what made him moan, what made him close his eyes. 

She reached for him, but before her hand made contact, she pulled it away. He groaned loudly, wanting to feel her touch, but too lost in his own pleasure to voice it. He wanted to reach for her, to touch her, but she had stepped away when she had been tempted to touch him. Instead, his hand slipped into Baniti’s hair and he gently pulled her lower onto his cock. He wouldn’t choke her with it, but he needed more. Her hand left him and she sunk as low as she could go, gripping his thighs. 

He saw Aloy’s hand stroke her throat, as if she didn’t understand how so much length could be shoved into a mouth comfortably. She lifted her eyes to his and when she bit her bottom lip, it was all Avad needed to find his release. 

When he was able to collect himself, his eyes sought out Aloy, but she was no longer there. Baniti had cleaned herself up and stepped into the bathhouse. Aloy was spread out on the dais, for her massage. He knew then that he needed to walk away. He couldn’t watch her being rubbed down by the very woman who had just pleasured him. He closed the door and laid down on his massive bed, pulling a pillow over his face and screaming into it.


	11. Into the Borderlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go find Ersa.

Word had finally come from Pitchcliff; Maraud’s informant would be awaiting their presence in the marketplace in two days, the exact amount of time it would take them to travel to the Oseram village. Aloy was jittery with anticipation of finally being able to leave the city unhindered. She stood by as Erend and Avad gave instructions, any lead they received should be followed up on, immediately. Five of Erend’s best men would accompany them to the town. Aloy stated that she believed she could override enough Broadheads to ensure the speed of their journey. The men turned nervous glances first to her, then their Captain.

“It will ensure any machines we encounter along the way will not be a problem. The Broadheads are quick, able to outrun nearly any attack. It is the best option we have.” 

Aloy knew Erend was just as nervous about mounting a Broadhead as the other men, but his confident assurances set the men at ease. She was always surprised how easily he could calm people’s nerves. She remembered how he settled the crowd at Mother’s Heart, stepping into the hail of tomatoes, and taking a few hits before saying just what the Nora needed to hear to stop their assault of the poor priest.

He turned to her then, raising an eyebrow in a ‘how did I do’ gesture and she smiled and nodded. He blew out a steadying breath and went to collect the rest of his gear.

“Aloy, I wanted to thank you again. This means so much to us.” Avad’s words were sincere, but as he spoke a blush crept across his cheeks. 

She had seen little of the King since the day he’d invited her to lunch. She’d been to the palace, to speak with Maraud, but he was nowhere in sight, not on his throne or on the adjacent balcony. She had even seen his guard in the marketplace but saw no sign of him. She could only assume he had been embarrassed by her seeing him with the servant girl. 

It confused her. He had made no move to conceal himself that day, going as far as letting the act happen only feet from her. Then as she watched, he seemed to like it. He hadn’t told her to leave or acted ashamed of the moment. She took it as an opportunity to learn how to please Erend better. She hadn’t known doing that would cause the reaction she’d seen in him.

“Of course. This means so much to both of you.” She gestured to Erend, who was making his way back to them.

Avad seemed to grow nervous as Erend approached. “I… uh… I also wanted to apologize for the other day.”

“What for,” she asked. 

Avad shifted on his feet, his eyes going to Erend. “I didn’t mean for you to see that. I was caught up in the moment.”

She tilted her head, studying Avad for a moment, causing him to grow even more nervous. “There is nothing to forgive. But if you are embarrassed, then maybe I should apologize. That wasn’t my intent.”

He nodded and turned to leave before Erend could reach them. 

“You ready?”

“Yes, let’s go.”

 

They made camp the first night of their journey, most of the men complaining about the aches in their thighs and backs from the ride. Aloy had forgotten to mention that riding the beasts took some getting used to. They set up three tents, her and Erend sharing one and two men in each of the others while one would stand sentry over the camp. They divided shifts and Aloy volunteered to take the first shift, allowing those in pain to rest for a while. She’d rather have uninterrupted sleep anyway.

She had walked a few feet away from the camp, using her focus to scan the surrounding grounds, when an orange blip made itself known in her peripheral. She turned, bow raised, taking aim on the unwelcome intruder. She had the orange blur in her sights just as her focus picked up on who it was.

Nil.

She lowered her bow and cast a glance back at the camp. She didn’t want to abandon her post, but she also didn’t want this to turn into a situation. She knew Nil held a bit of a grudge against Erend, if the way he spat his name was any indication.

She decided she would let Erend know where she was going and that she would be able to keep an eye on the camp and warn them if anything, or anyone, should approach.

Her nerves must have shown on her face, because as she approached Erend, he rose, his guard up. “What is it? Did you see something out there?”

“Yes, but nothing bad.” That wasn’t entirely true. It could be very bad for him and his friends if she didn’t act. “My friend, he’s not too far away and I just wanted to let you know I was going to speak to him. I won’t be far enough away that I can’t keep an eye on the camp. You have nothing to worry about.” She hoped that was true and tried to give Erend a reassuring smile. 

“Your Carja friend?” Erend’s voice held a note that she couldn’t discern. Jealousy maybe. It took her longer than it should to realize he knew about her and Nil. She had told him their first night together. 

“Yes. I just want to make sure he knows it’s me out here. Nil isn’t a huge fan of the Vanguard, or people for that matter. I just mean to prevent an incident.” She realized a little too late that she had actually said his name.

Aloy was surprised when the name didn’t register with Erend, but she wasn’t going to question it. If he didn’t remember the Carja, all the better.

She stepped away from camp, feeling Erend’s eyes tracking her every move. He wouldn’t be able to see her once she reached Nil. It was too dark, but he seemed to have no intention of letting her wander off in search of another man. She turned back, giving him another reassuring smile, letting him know she would be fine and he had nothing to worry about but he stood with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. 

Aloy didn’t think she would ever understand why people became possessive of her. She wasn’t property. She belonged to no one but herself. Yet, Nil and Erend had both shown that they didn’t like the idea of her being around anyone but them. She had wanted to write off Nil’s reaction to Erend as a distaste for the man himself, but it was occurring to her that he didn’t like the idea of the other men flirting with her either. His presence here only confirmed that thought.

“I have been waiting for you. I was starting to think you’d never leave the city.” Nil’s voice was deep, colored with annoyance. 

Aloy resisted the urge to scowl at him for his tone. She wanted to prevent an incident. If she grew angry with him over a simple comment, she was sure it would just irritate him further. “I’m sorry, Nil. I am helping Erend find his missing sister. They didn’t want me to leave in case word came that she had been found.” 

His lips thinned into his own form of a scowl. She had learned what some of his expressions meant over their few months together. He didn’t show emotion often, even his smile wasn’t truly a smile. “Ahh, the gilded cage of Meridian, and they’ve laid the perfect bait for our small hero.”

Bait? How was she being baited? This was a dire situation. A rescue attempt. “What are you talking about?”

“Let me guess, this favor isn’t just helping the Vanguardsman, but the King as well.” His smug look said he already knew the answer.

“Of course, Ersa was the Captain of the Vanguard.” She still didn’t see how this was Avad baiting her. She knew his feelings for the Captain were more complicated than he let on, but there was no way he would use his friend’s sister just to get her on his side.

“Yes, yes. And now you are chasing her, and I’m sure you will be taking down her kidnapper. Ridding Avad of yet another enemy. He does that. Leans on others to relieve him of anything that would stand in his way, or deny him the throne.” He lifted his shoulders in a slow shrug. 

Aloy wondered, not for the first time, how Nil’s mind worked. He seemed to draw his own conclusions very quickly and at times they were completely unfounded. “It’s not like that. Erend just wants to find his sister. I want to help him.”

Again he shrugged. “Has there been an offer for you to stay with the King? He likes to keep tabs on those who he thinks could aid his cause.”

Aloy knew Nil was baiting her, trying to get her to admit to something. She didn’t know what but she could feel him leading her to think badly of the men she’d grown close to over her short stay in the city. She decided not to answer him, instead, scowling, letting him know she wasn’t happy with where this conversation was going.

His glower shifted to something like excitement. Did he think that he had planted enough doubt that she would just accept his words and move on?

“Come on. We could leave now and your Vanguard friends would never know. I found another bandit camp ripe for the picking, waiting for our arrows to sink into their flesh and end their miserable existences.” He reached for her hand, but she stood her ground.

“I will help you, but only after I find Ersa. I was the one who figured out she was still alive, now I have to see this through.”

Nil glared at her, but she’d seen worse from him. She had never been afraid of him, no matter how creepy he could be sometimes. She knew he cared for her, in his own twisted way. They had grown close over the months it had taken her to reach Meridian. Did he feel in some way she had abandoned him?

“Nil, I am not abandoning you or our cause, but I want to help where I can.” She hoped she sounded sincere, but he was frustrating her. 

The second the word ‘abandoning’ left her lips, his entire posture shifted. It was as if he were preparing for battle, yet there was nothing to fight here. “I am not lonely, little huntress. I was never suggesting a Carja wedding. I just wanted my partner to fulfill her end of our bargain.”

That hurt, more than Aloy wanted to admit. She hadn’t been under any impression that they were anything more than friends, but him saying it stung. She had shared so much of herself with him. She hadn’t run from him when he was at his darkest. She felt they had an unspoken connection, but maybe that was her naïveté speaking. He was her best friend. Her only friend outside of Erend. 

She could feel the muscles in her jaw working and knew his cold look was reflected in her own eyes. “Goodbye, Nil.”

He didn’t stop her from turning back to the camp, but she could feel his eyes on her, just as Erend’s had moments ago. 

 

Pitchcliff was a small, but confusingly laid out town on the edge of the Oseram’s homeland. There were so many twists and turns, so many little alcoves and nooks. The houses were splayed out sporadically and it gave Aloy a headache. She had grown so used to Meridian and its designated zones and streets. The marketplace was tucked in between two houses and was extremely small. There should have been nowhere for their informant to disappear, yet she saw no sign of him. Erend decided to search the town, giving her a reprieve from the confusion.

She was quickly growing frustrated when Erend didn’t appear after a few minutes and turned to the stairs, thinking to go in search of him, and nearly ran into him.

“I found no sign of Maraud’s guy. He’s had plenty of time to investigate, and plenty of time to make himself known.”

Aloy nodded, agreeing with his assessment. “Let me see if I can track him.” She flipped on her focus, quickly spotting bloody tracks leading away from the square and told Erend.

They followed the tracks to find the informant dead but hidden from view of any passersby. Aloy bent to examine the body, thinking to find who may have done this, but found something even more interesting. A map, drawn in the man’s own blood.

“Has to be Maraud’s guy. Dervahl’s thugs must have made him.” Erend sighed as if any hope of finding his sister had died next to the man on the ground.

“Maybe because he found something. Look at this.” She pointed to the blood coating the stone pathway. “I think he drew a map with his own blood.”

“Right. Those kinds of maps, you know you better follow.” She could hear the hope in Erend’s voice, now that their only lead hadn’t been a dead end after-all.

She did her best to make sense of the red smears. “That might be Pitchcliff. He marked a spot to the north. Could be Dervahl’s location.” 

“Alright, let’s grab our men and head out. The sooner we make it, the sooner we find my sister and the sooner this mess it brought to an end.

They mounted up, wasting no time in following their only lead. Erend thought he may know where the spot on the map was. He remembered there used to be a small settlement at the crest of the mountain. Aloy let him lead the men, taking a seat behind him as he led the men to their destination. They pushed their mounts up the narrow trail and her nerves began to get the better of her as Erend momentarily lost control of her Broadhead. It didn’t like the path he had chosen. He was able to regain control quickly and slowed to a pace that the machine finally accepted. 

When they reached the top and dismounted, she gave the Broadhead a gentle pat, quietly thanking the beast for maintaining its composure through the rest of their journey. They quickly took up scouting positions along the ridge facing the encampment, trying to get a better idea of what they would be up against, but none of them were prepared for what they saw.

“Machines,” Aloy sighed. This was going to be a much more difficult rescue than any of them had anticipated. She watched as one of the men jabbed a spear into the lens of a Sawtooth that was chained next to him. “Looks like they’ve been chained up.” This gave her a sense of relief. Maybe they wouldn’t be facing the beasts, only the men holding them captive.

Erend grimaced. “Dervahl’s a tinkerer. He probably experiments on them, or strips them for parts.” She was surprised to see the disgust on his face. Not many people would have sympathy for a machine, but she didn’t like it any more than he did.

“Maybe I can use them to make some trouble.” An idea began to formulate, if she could release the beasts, maybe they would turn on their captors. “I’ll go in first. Hold off until the fighting starts.”

Erend surprisingly didn’t argue. “Alright, we’ve got your back.”

Aloy crept through the tall grass until she had one of the beasts in her sights. She loosed an arrow, breaking the chains holding a Longlegs captive and was happy to see the machine make quick work of its captors. She, however, hadn’t thought through what would happen once it had taken care of the men surrounding it. It leaped, Aloy rolled, but it didn’t stop the machine from knocking her off her feet. But Erend and his men were there and took down the large machine with hardly any effort. 

“Crap,” She whispered to herself. The whole camp was now alert to their presence. 

Erend moved to take out the few men who had come to investigate, but Aloy gripped his arm. “No, wait. Let them come to us.”

He nodded, resting back on his heels. She could see the nervous energy coursing through him as he shifted his hammer from one hand to the other. 

“Who’s out there?” A voice called from the gate, and again Aloy had to place her hand on Erend’s arm to keep him from moving. 

She held up her hand bidding him to stay where he was and he nodded. She shifted away from the Vanguard, taking a closer position near the gate. When she had one of the men in her sights, she whistled. She saw the shift in the grass as Erend jumped at her call. 

Just as she had expected the armored man came to investigate, and when she was sure his body would land out of sight of the others by the gate, she shoved her spear into his belly, and gently laid him down, assuring he made no further noise. She repeated this process until the mound of bodies grew to where she could no longer hide them. 

She signaled the Vanguard to approach, and they slowly made their way to her.

“Damn girl, remind me to never get on your bad side. That was… scary.” She recognized him as the one who had called her pretty the day of the proving. She had never taken the time to get to know any of the Vanguard before now and she regretted it. These men were going to fight by her side and she didn’t even know them. She would make it a point to do so when they returned to Meridian.

She flipped on her focus, scanning the encampment to find there were much more inside the walls. “This is far from over. There are at least twenty more inside, some armed with cannons, some with bows. If we could sneak in, we could probably take them down without much fuss, but I don’t see a way for any of us to make a quiet entry.”

“Leave it to us. We will carve a path for you. You just worry about finding Ersa.” Again, Aloy thought she should have taken the time to get to know these men by name.

She nodded to Erend and they sprinted into the fray. Aloy with her spear and Erend with his hammer. They took down the two men with cannons, leaving the rest to the Vanguard. Aloy had a feeling the shack built into the side of the mountain was where they would find Erend’s sister and she pushed herself, racing arrows that zoomed past, and ignoring the battle cries and sounds of men falling behind her. 

She made it to the top of the hill nearly unhindered. It did nothing to settle the adrenaline coursing through her. She knew this fight wasn’t over, yet she met no other enemies as she made her way to the door of the shack. Reaching the door, she found it unlocked. Instantly she realized something was wrong. She took a step back but not before a deafening alarm rang in her ears. 

She covered her ears, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the awful noise. Then she noticed the man standing at the bottom, armed with an Oseram cannon. She barely had time to jump out of the way as the man fired just above her head to bring the roof down on her. Only one cannon shot actually made its mark, covering the entrance just enough to block her line of sight. But if hers was blocked, so was his. She ducked behind a well in the courtyard just outside the door. 

When the man finally emerged, she had a hardpoint arrow aimed at his forehead. She took the shot, but he raised the cannon to block it. She smiled as the man realized his mistake. The gun misfired, shooting two blasts wide of her position and one set the man aflame. Erend was quick to bring his hammer swinging down, finishing the man in one blow.

With the fight over, Aloy crouched near the fallen man. He had strange disks covering his ears, and she wondered if this was how he got past the alarm. Erend made for the door but she stopped him. “Wait. It’s blocked, must be one of Dervahl’s paralyzers. Stay put until I find a way past it.”

She pulled the disks from the man’s ears, turning to Erend. “They must have used these to protect themselves from that awful sound.” She slipped them over her own ears, thinking there was only one way to know for sure.

The deafening silence was unnerving, especially since the noise had set her teeth on edge from the moment she opened the door, but she forced herself to enter the stairwell. Just inside, there was a glowing red button. She pushed it, hoping it would disarm the alarm and allow Erend entry and thankfully she was right. However, a much louder, resonating sound was pulsing from below them. 

She rushed down the steps, Erend close on her heels and found the woman they had come in search of crumbled upon a cell floor. The device was aimed directly at her. When Erend realized this, he could no longer control his anger and bashed the device into pieces before rushing to Ersa’s side.

He bent down and lifted her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. Her eyes fluttered open. “Erend,” She questioned.

He nodded his head, a smile spreading across his face, now that he finally had his sister somewhere safe.

“Dervahl tried to break me. Shows what he knows.” She sucked in a heaving breath and let out a wet cough. 

Erend’s pallor shifted, he had heard it too. “I… I should have been with you. Why didn’t you come for me? I know I’m a useless drunk but…” Tears welled in his eyes and he couldn’t finish the thought.

Aloy stood by, heartsick for the man in front of her, wanting to be with him, to hold his hand through this, but she didn’t want to interrupt what was likely to be his last moments with her.

“Idiot. I got a message from Dervahl, saying he wanted to parlay. I didn’t come for you because I knew it was a trap. Couldn’t let you get hurt. Just didn’t think it’d be that good a trap. Thought I could take him out.” Another rattling cough, accompanied by blood.

Erend’s tears flowed freely now and Aloy knew it was because Ersa had been trying to protect him.

“Now listen, Dervahl’s planning something big in Meridian. He said he’d ‘force Avad to watch as the smoke darkens their precious sun’.” Her breaths were becoming shorter, shallower, but she refused to stop speaking until she had told Erend everything she needed to. “Your King needs you. No more playing around, you’re going to have to grow up fast.” She lifted her hand, cupping his face in a goodbye gesture, and Aloy’s hear broke alongside Erend’s.

“I will. I promise,” He stuttered through his tears.

“You damn well better, little brother.” And with that, her head lolled back and she went limp in his arms. 

“No, no, Ersa. Please,” He pleaded, but it was too late, she was beyond hearing him. “I won’t let you down. I promise.” He laid his sister gently back on the ground, his hands ran through his Mohawk as he tried to collect himself.

After a few moments, Aloy spoke, “Erend, I… I am so sorry.”

He looked up at her with a cold, hard stare. “We’ve got to find Dervahl, but Meridian’s a big place.”

“I… uh… I looked through his things and found a letter, something about a shipment of blaze sent to a warehouse in Meridian. Could be what we’re looking for.”

Erend nodded, “Why don’t you go ahead, tell Avad what we found. I need to tend to my sister, but I won’t be far behind.”

Aloy nodded but wished he would have asked her to stay with him. She wanted to hold him, to help him through this. She wanted to be there for him. But if he needed space, she could give him that. 

As she left, she informed the Vanguard that Erend would need help transporting his sister back to Meridian and that she would be riding ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was going to be much longer, but I decided to break it up into two parts.


	12. Return from the Borderlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy rushes ahead of the Vanguard to ensure Avad is warned of the upcoming attack. 
> 
> Erend deals with Ersa's death in the only way he knows.

Aloy pushed her Broadhead to near exhaustion. She was determined to make it to Meridian in time to warn Avad of the coming attack. She had no idea how she was going to break the news of Ersa’s death to him, but she knew she would have to. She was heartsick, in pain, and she didn’t even know the woman, only those close to her. Her mind constantly flittered between thoughts of Erend and of Avad. Both were going to be in so much pain after this. She had given them both hopes that they would find Ersa alive. Now, her loss would be compounded by the fact that both men had accepted her death once, only to be told that the body they were mourning was not Ersa at all. 

What cruel twist of fate would allow them to find her, only to have her die in her brother’s arms? It wasn’t fair to Erend. It wasn’t fair to Avad. She wished she had never found the clues that had led them to Dervahl. She wanted so badly to take the last few days back and let them think the body they had found had been hers, but that wouldn’t be fair to Ersa. Someone needed to know the truth, even if that truth would hurt everyone. And now they were also aware of an attack against Meridian, against Avad. 

Aloy had little understanding of politics, but she had such a hard time understanding why anyone would want to attack Avad. He was kind, gentle, not what she had expected of the King of the Carja people. He seemed genuine in his desire for peace. He was not his father. Yet, that didn’t seem to matter to most people. He may not be his father, but he was still Carja, and the Carja were evil incarnate. She couldn’t wrap her mind around that assumption. How could one man’s depravity be placed on an entire tribe? A King was not his people, and the people were not their King. 

She forced herself to make camp, after traversing the desert terrain in the dark proved to be difficult, but she was awake as the sun began to rise. She knew at this pace, she would enter the gates of Meridian in the dead of night. She would have to wait to tell Avad of Ersa and the coming attack, but any time that allowed her to figure out what she was going to say to the man was welcome. She had never had to give such dire news to anyone. It was not an experience she wanted to have.

She made it to the city, abandoning her Broadhead just outside the now slumbering camps at the gate's entrance. She moved quickly, wanting to avoid confrontation with anyone. Many knew of their mission to find the Captain, including many of the Vanguard, and she saw the Oseram armor among those standing guard at the gates. 

She had thought she was in the clear, but her name was called just as she turned toward Erend’s house. Her teeth ground together in frustration. She wasn’t sure she could do this. 

Maraud was jogging to catch up to her, calling again for her to wait. He reached her, slightly out of breath as if at some point he had been in a full tilt run. “Aloy,” he breathed, placing a hand against the wall next to him, as he regained himself. “The King requests your presence. He is waiting for you at the palace.”

Shit.

She nodded to the man and he pulled away from the wall, still not in control of his breath, but leading her through the city. He was quiet, but she was unsure if it was due to his earlier exertion or because he wanted to hear her news alongside the King. 

When they reached Avad’s private balcony, he was seated on one of the plush couches, his hands twisting over themselves with his anxiety. When he caught sight of her he stood. “Aloy,” he whispered, almost as breathless as Maraud had been after jogging to her side.

She could feel her expression shift, and he noticed. Again, she was heartsick.

He fell back on the couch, his hands coming up to cover his face. He wasn’t crying, that she could tell, but he didn’t seem too far from tears. 

She was at a loss. She had never tried to comfort anyone through grief. So she did the only thing she could think of and removed her weapons, sitting them down next to the couch as she took a seat next to him. She placed her hand on his bare back and rubbed slow circles of comfort into his skin.

He jumped at her touch but didn’t move away, so she continued her ministrations. She could feel his breathing begin to return to a steady pace, and his muscles relax, so she slowed her movement, but didn’t remove her hand from his body. Sometimes it is enough to know someone is there with you. She remembered Rost’s gentle touch on her shoulder after her many encounters with the Nora who were cruel to her, her entire life. His grip was all it took to lift the weight of what she was feeling. His reminder that they were in this together. She wanted Avad to know the same, that she would be there for him. She would stand by him in this. He deserved that much.

After a few moments, he turned to her, forcing her to drop the consoling touch. “Please, tell me what happened.”

She told him about finding Maraud’s informant and the bloody map. About the encampment of machines and Dervahl’s weapon and finding Ersa. He listened and with every word she saw his newfound composure crumble all over again. She had a sudden desire to pull him into her body and hold him. He looked so lost. But she didn’t, she was unsure how he would take it. They were barely friends, only having had a few conversations and one, by his account, embarrassing encounter. She satisfied herself with taking his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, before removing her touch altogether.

“Was she in pain?” 

Aloy had no idea how to answer his question. She had been dying when they found her, but she had made no mention of pain, maybe at that point, she was beyond it. She had seen the blood dripping from her nose, eyes, and ears, so she could only assume that at some point she was, but that was not what the man sitting next to her needed to hear. 

“She wasn’t concerned about her pain. She was concerned about her brother. She was concerned about you.” It was the truth and the truth as he needed to hear it, nothing more.

He took her hand then and a small smile lifted his lips. She didn’t know how he did that, smiled through everything. It seemed so out of place in this moment, but it lifted a bit of her heartsickness as well. “Thank you, Aloy. I suppose I needed to know that I was on her mind, as much as she is on mine.”

She nodded with a small smile of her own. Her words brought him comfort and he had returned the favor. 

Then she realized there was more she needed to tell him. “Avad, that’s not it. I’m sorry to tell you this now, but Dervahl is planning to attack the city.” She pulled the letter out of the pocket she had stashed it in, unfolding it and holding it out to him. 

He looked it over before handing it to Maraud. She had almost forgotten the man was still there. He had been so quiet. Before he took the letter, he took in their clasped hands. She felt the sudden desire to pull her hand away from Avad’s. They were only comforting each other; she shouldn’t feel ashamed of that. But his look made her feel like it meant more. 

“This name, I recognize it. Oseram have been buying building all over the city, but this one is a warehouse. I had assumed it would become a storefront. If this is Dervahl, there is no telling what could be in that building.”

She did pull her hand from Avad’s then. “Where is the warehouse? I will investigate. We need to ensure that his plan will fail.” She stood, picking up her weapons.

Avad stood, his hand coming to her shoulder. “No, Aloy. We need to wait for Erend. I don’t want you walking into a trap alone. Dervahl is clever; he will have protections in place to ensure he will not fail.”

“We can’t wait. What if he plans to attack tonight? I can’t stand by and let that happen.” 

“Please, Aloy, wait.” 

She was quickly beginning to realize that she couldn’t say no to this man when he said the word ‘please’ so sincerely. ‘Kings shouldn’t beg’, he’d once told her, but he used the word so freely with her. She wondered, for a moment, if he knew he could manipulate her with the simple word. She was sure a King would know every advantage he was capable of, but the worry in his eyes made her dismiss the thought. He didn’t want her to get hurt. It was sweet. The only other person who’s ever cared about her safety was Rost. Even Erend and Nil had no problem letting her take charge in a fight. 

“Alright, I’ll wait, but only if you stop making yourself an open target.” She gestured to the unguarded balcony. 

Maraud huffed beside her, not liking her insinuations. 

“I can see multiple infiltration points here, and if Dervahl is as clever as you say, he will too. Stay off your throne, keep away from unguarded spaces, never allow yourself to be alone. He said he planned to make you watch as smoke darkened your precious sun. He’s coming for you. Don’t make it easy for him.” She realized she may have left that part out earlier as Avad and Maraud shared equally alarmed looks.

“Alright. I will do as you have requested.” 

She nodded and turned to leave the palace as he and Maraud began discussing ways to ensure Avad’s security. 

 

Aloy was not content to sit around waiting this time, and with Erend gone, there was no one to stop her from leaving the city. She didn’t venture far from Meridian itself, running errands for one of the priests, tracking a crazy man who had been stealing fruit, and ensuring her hunting skills remained sharp and focused. 

Erend returned late the following evening while Aloy was prepping her equipment for the fight that couldn’t be far off. She heard the doorknob turn and then his heavy body hit the door frame. He grumbled from the other side of the door. The knob twisted again, but for some reason, he couldn’t seem to get it open.

She padded over to the door and opened it. Erend stumbled into her, causing them both to nearly fall to the ground. He was still in his armor making him that much heavier. She pushed him up against the wall to gain her footing, but he still leaned toward her. She lifted her hands to his shoulders, forcing him to stand up straight, and take his weight off of her.

His head lolled forward, and he groaned. The stench of liquor hit her hard. It was almost as if he had bathed in the fiery liquid. 

“Erend are you okay,” she questioned tentatively.

He pushed away from her, and she had to take a step back to catch her balance. “No, I’m not okay. What kind of stupid question is that?” His words slurred together and he glowered at her, lifting a bottle of the foul liquor to his lips.

“I just meant, do you need help?” She had never seen anyone so lost to alcohol before and it was unnerving. His stumbling and erratic movements made his already large frame a force that moved anything it came in contact with. Erend’s entire demeanor was different from the man she knew. 

He scowled at her, almost as if he were disgusted at her presence. “Help me? Like you helped me find my sister? Thanks for that, by the way. It was great to know she was alive only to watch her die.”

Aloy didn’t know what to say to that, she had the same thought on her way back to Meridian, but hearing it come from him hurt. She reached for him, but his arm swung out wildly to stop her. “Don’t touch me. Just leave me alone.” Again, he lifted the bottle to his lips.

Quickly she reached out and took the bottle from him. “Is this how you are going to deal with Ersa’s death? Drown yourself in liquor. You made her a promise.”

Rage filled his features, and Aloy took another step back from him. “How dare you tell me how to grieve. You don’t know me and you didn’t know her.” He made another swipe for the bottle, but Aloy was too quick.

“No, I didn’t know her, but I heard what she said to you. She told you to grow up, Erend. Do you think this is what she meant? Her captor, her murderer, could be in this city and what will you do then, breathe on him? Hope he catches flame?” To say she was disappointed would be an understatement. His promise to his sister was made only days ago, and here he was stumbling drunk and picking a fight with the only person who was there to help him through this. 

Tears began to well in his eyes, but they were quickly drowned out by his anger as he swept her equipment off of the table and into the nearby wall. Her bow snapped as it hit and the recoil had her most prized possession landing at her feet. 

Now she was angry. “That was completely uncalled for.” She stepped up to him then, nose-to-nose. “And this is pathetic. You are better than this Erend. You are a good man. Why do this to yourself?” She had the very sudden desire to slap him, make him see what he had just done, but knew it would be no use. He wasn’t there, not now. She could see it in the way he looked at her. 

His eyes hardened as he stared down at her for a moment. “So, I’m pathetic now.”

Of course, that would be the only thing he took from what she had just said. She hadn’t even called him pathetic. His actions, yes. But not the man himself. Until this moment, she had thought him nothing but amazing. “That’s not what I said.”

“No? Well, it’s what you’re thinking. I can see it all over you, the judgment in your eyes. We can’t all be perfect, Aloy.”

Perfect? Was he insinuating that she thought she was perfect, or that he thought she was perfect? “If I have no right to tell you how to grieve, what gives you the right to tell me what I’m thinking? As you so blatantly pointed out, you don’t know me.” But she thought he at least understood her. She thought that they shared something more than simple knowledge of each other’s habits and likes and dislikes. She thought… it didn’t matter what she thought. What mattered was the truth standing in front of her. They were strangers, sharing a house and a bed. There was nothing more to it. They hadn’t taken the time to get to know each other, only acting on a need to have someone in their lives to hold them and tell them everything would be alright. 

Yet, she knew she felt something that first night in his arms. Was it the fact that they had just had sex and he was holding her so tightly? 

No. She’d shared that with Nil, and it didn’t feel the same.

She didn’t know how long she stood there lost in her own thoughts, but Erend had made it to the stairs, bottle again in his hand. When had he taken it from her?

He turned that disgusted look on her once more before saying, “Just leave. I want to be alone.”

 

She was at a loss. The place she had started to think of as home was now empty for her. She was an Outcast, yet again. She didn’t think it would hurt to bear that title but somehow what Erend had just done was worse than what any Nora had done to her. She stood on the doorstep for far too long before she let her feet wander the quiet streets. It was late and most of the vendors had left the marketplace. The storefronts were darkened and the sconces lining the pathways cast eerie shadows across the buildings. She didn’t know where to go. She had no place to stay and her bow was now destroyed. She couldn’t make camp outside the city without protection and she couldn’t easily rely on her spear if something bigger than a Watcher came upon her camp. 

After what seemed like hours, but could have only been a few minutes, she turned toward the palace. Avad had told her she could stay there. She hoped his offer still stood, but after her encounter with Erend, she wasn’t sure. Maybe Avad would be just as mad at her for not saving Ersa. It wasn’t her fault that Dervahl had tortured and killed her. It wasn’t her fault that they were too late to save her. She had done all she could to ensure they had the answers they sought. 

The guards at the gate didn’t stop her, but she didn’t want to cause a scene or cause anyone to wonder at her presence at such a late hour. Yes, she’d been invited to the palace in the dead of night before, but this time she was not accompanied by Maraud. Someone would eventually realize she shouldn’t be here. 

She remembered the infiltration points she had pointed out to Avad the day before. Stealth was her forte. It would be easy for her to scale the walls to his personal balcony. She could sneak in unnoticed. She remembered where the guest quarters were. If she could make it there undetected, she could simply crawl into bed for the night and slip out in the morning before anyone realized she was there.

With that plan in mind, she stuck to the shadows, out of sight of any guards. She didn’t have to wait long before she saw her opening and leaped from the railing to the side of the palace. Quickly and quietly she scaled the wall, ensuring that no light landed on her path. 

The ease of her infiltration sent another pang of worry over Avad’s safety through her. For someone who was the target of so many people, he really had no understanding of his own vulnerabilities. It was unlikely anyone who hadn’t run Brave trails nearly all their life could have taken the route she just did, but that didn’t mean someone couldn’t go to an Outcast camp and hire someone to take out the Carja’s King.

She lifted herself over the railing of the balcony, the only sound, her soft landing. She remained still as she took in her surroundings. Two guards were now posted at the entrance to the balcony and another at the bottom of the stairs to her left. So, Avad had taken her advice to heart. This wouldn’t be as easy as she thought. 

Footsteps had her moving further into the shadows, and nearly deciding to go over the railing to remain unseen but she hadn’t been as stealthy as she had thought.

“Aloy,” Avad questioned from behind her.

She stood then, no point in hiding when she’d been found. She was usually better than this. It frustrated her that she could hide from machines that scanned for her position, but couldn’t hide from him.

“Why are you creeping around out here?” 

There was the hint of laughter in his words, and she was forced to see the ridiculousness of this situation.

“Maybe I just wanted to prove to you how easy it was to infiltrate your stronghold.” Her arms crossed over her chest, her frustration at being caught plain in the set of her mouth, the slight glare coming from her eyes.

“Well, I hate to tell you this, but I was informed the second you crossed the bridge to the palace. You see, this demanding little girl told me I needed better protection. She didn’t like how easily someone could breach my defenses.” His shoulders lifted in a shrug. 

She couldn’t help but smile, but it didn’t last. Her mood was a sour one and demanded to have its presence known. She uncrossed her arms and turned her back to the Sun-King. Leaning against the railing, she looked out over the city. She placed her elbows on the ornate balustrade that ran the length of the balcony and let her face fall into her hands. This simple failure in her plan shouldn’t bother her, but at the moment it was one loss piled on top of another. 

His gentle touch found the small of her back and he repeated her earlier gesture, moving in slow circles along her skin. “Aloy, are you okay?”

She sighed, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I am… coping, but I can tell something is bothering you, and it’s not the fact that you weren’t successful in your attempt to get into the palace undetected.”

She didn’t want to tell him about Erend’s breakdown. She didn’t want him to think badly of his new Captain of the Vanguard. “I was kicked out of the place I was staying. I just thought I could sneak in, find a bed, and be out before morning. The last thing I wanted was you worrying about me. You have enough to weigh on your mind without my problems adding to the weight.”

Avad took her hands then and led them over to the couch closest to them. He sat, bidding her to do the same. “If something is wrong, you can tell me. I don’t mind listening. You’ve done so much for me, it would be the least I could do.”

She examined him, for what seemed the millionth time since she’d met him. This man seemed to be a walking contradiction. He was a King, but he was humble. He had power but used that power to help those he could. He could shift from a ruler with complete and utter authority to a man as any other. He smiled through his pain and even though he was hurting, he wanted to help her. She couldn’t help but think Ersa a fool for not giving this man everything she had, alliances be damned. 

She wanted to open up to him, to pour her heart out to him, but he didn’t need that right now. So she told him what she could without making Erend out to be the cause of her distress. “I have lived my entire life as an Outcast. I came to terms with the fact that I would always bear the title, regardless of whether or not I won the Proving. I am aware I am not like most Nora, and I doubt the tribe would have fully accepted me for any reason. Coming here, I’ve realized I don’t have to be alone. But something happened, and now I feel more alone than ever. I didn’t know that was possible.”

“You may not believe this, but I completely understand. Being the Mad-Sun-King’s son has always set me apart, left a black mark on my name. You see how many people want me dead. You’ve seen the toll it’s taken on my personal life. But sometimes, being other, being set apart from others, affords us a unique opportunity to make real change. Everyone already expects us to be different, to not follow the social norms. But it also makes us hard to relate to. People want to see more, or less, than what is truly there. A Sun-God and a Seeker of the Nora, yet we are only human.”

She couldn’t believe Avad had seen so deeply into her with her small confession. It lifted her spirits slightly to find that at least one person understood what she was going through. “Kind, wise and beautiful, are you sure you aren’t the Sun-God everyone claims you are?”

He laughed then, and she couldn’t help but share in his mirth. 

“Come on, let’s get to bed. The Vanguard arrived this afternoon and we need to begin investigating in the morning.” He stood and held his hand out to her.

The Vanguard had arrived that afternoon. Erend had come home and instead of coming to her, he had decided to drink his pain away. He had been back in Meridian for hours and she hadn’t known. All of the pain of his words crashed into her anew. He hadn’t wanted her comfort at the encampment. He hadn’t wanted her comfort when he returned and he had kicked her out when he came home. 

“Aloy?”

She looked up to see his hand still extended to her. She took it and allowed him to walk her through the palace to the guest quarters. When he opened the door, she found she didn’t want to step inside. If she did, she would be truly alone and right now that thought hurt more than it should.

“Avad,” she began but didn’t know how to voice what she wanted. She was in pain, but she didn’t want to hurt Erend by being foolish. 

He gave her time to collect her thoughts and she mentally thanked him for the respite. “I don’t want to be alone. Can I sleep with you?” At his raised eyebrows, she held up her hands, “Not in your bed. Just in your room. I can sleep on the couch or the floor, but I really don’t want to be alone.” 

He nodded, closing the doors and led her to his quarters. 

Once inside, he began to lay blankets and pillows on the couch, transforming it into a makeshift bed for her. She walked to the nearby table and removed her necklaces and pulled the bands holding her braids together, placing the beads next to the rest of her jewelry. There was a brush on the small table and she ran it through her hair, enjoying the sensation of its gentle pull. 

She was about to remove her tunic when she remembered that Avad was not comfortable with nudity. She turned to him then to find him sitting on the edge of the bed watching her. “Is there something I can wear to sleep in? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

He walked over to an ornate armoire, pulling a silk shirt from inside. She smiled to herself. She didn’t know the Carja owned a shirt. She had never seen him with one, and she found the idea of Avad fully clothed utterly ridiculous. The jewelry that usually covered his shoulders and chest suited him. 

He handed her the slip of blue silk and she turned away from him, letting him know she was going to try and respect his space. She removed her tunic and slipped the cool silk over her head before bending to remove her leggings. She slid one arm through the top and released her bra, the cool silk bringing her nipples to hard peaks. She covered them before turning to the pallet on the couch. 

When she was tucked under the covers she rolled to face him, seeing him doing the same. “Goodnight, Avad.”

“Goodnight, Aloy.” He blew out the candle next to his bed and they were only left with the moonlight filtering in through the windows.

 

The first tears she shed since this all began fell freely down her cheeks. She tried to keep from making any noise, not wanting to disturb Avad’s sleep, but she knew she had begun to whimper and couldn’t seem to stop. She felt broken, pulled apart and stitched together irregularly. Avad’s words had helped, but it seemed the moment she was left to her thoughts, she could only think about the pain of Erend’s words, of the rejection she’d felt a second time as Avad informed her that the Vanguard had arrived that afternoon. She’d known heartache many times. This shouldn’t be the thing that brought her to tears. There was so much more going on that she could choose to be sad about, but they hadn’t caused the aching emptiness that was settling over her. 

Strong arms slid under her shoulders and thighs. He lifted her, curling her into his body. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck, her tears running down his chest. She felt his lips press to her forehead before he lowered her onto the plush mattress. 

He crawled into bed beside her, pulled the blankets up over them and wrapped her in his arms whispering words of comfort and lulling her to sleep. She felt his fingers brush away the tears on her cheeks just before her mind gave in to the oblivion of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, my heart hurts, too.


	13. The Sun Shall Fall, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend's perspective of these events.

The scent of her surrounded him. His pillow smelled like her hair, which always carried the faintest hint of wood smoke. His sheets smelled like her skin. The salvebrush she always carried, slightly sun-kissed and a little metallic. He breathed it in and stretched his arm, hoping to find the woman attached to these precious memories of her, but came away empty-handed. 

He groaned. Where was she? All he wanted was to hold her, to pull her into his body and make sweet love to her. The last few days had ripped him apart. Ersa was truly gone, and now he was really going to have to fill her shoes. The thought had him wanting another drink, but that was all he’d done lately. Since watching his sister slip away in his arms, he couldn’t fight the burning need within him. The need to feel nothing, to be numb to it all. 

He’d been successful, barely even remembering how he made it home. He thought he remembered Aloy opening the door for him, but now that his bed was empty, he wondered if that was a hopeful imagining of his alcohol addled mind. 

He sat up and his pulse pounded in his head. The room spun and he closed his eyes, resting against his headboard as he breathed deeply. He ran his hands over his face, through his hair. This was going to be bad. He now had a job to do and he needed to be a functioning adult. 

“You’re gonna have to grow up fast.” Ersa’s words rang in his ears. 

He’d successfully already let his sister down. With her gone, there was no one to keep him in line, to stop him from going too far. He knew himself well enough to know that if anyone else had said those words, he’d drink even more just to spite them. Except, maybe Aloy. Her withering, disappointed look that first day at the gates was almost enough to make him never want to touch alcohol again. And since she’d been with him, he’d been able to control his desire to be shit-faced, until now.

Steel and stone, he needed her right now. He needed to feel her pressed into his body. Again, he wondered where she was. He knew she wouldn’t leave the city with a threat looming over Avad’s head. She liked the Sun-King, respected him. He wouldn’t be surprised if she single-handedly went about taking down Dervahl. She could even be investigating their one and only lead as he sat trying to make himself get out of bed. 

That thought had him moving. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and the room spun again. He needed coffee, and quickly. It probably wouldn’t hurt to see if Aloy had a stash of the bitter berries she kept in a pouch on her belt. They would at least alleviate his headache and settle his stomach, even if they tasted like shit. 

It took him longer than it should have to reach the stairs, and once he did steel settled into his stomach. The scene that rested at the bottom nearly bringing fresh tears to his eyes.

What had he done?

He descended, and with every step, a new horror was revealed, but the one thing that broke him, broke the dam holding his tears back, was Aloy’s bow resting next to the couch. The bowstring lay limply between the two halves of the intricate woodwork. The feathers she had attached to the ends were scattered on the floor.

He knew this was his doing, he just wished he knew how it had happened. She wasn’t likely to forgive him for this. She cherished that bow. It was the source of everything that was important to her. She was a true Huntress, everything about her livelihood rested on the fact that she was an expert archer. 

He knew then, he had to pull himself together. He had to find her, find some way to make her forgive him. 

He also needed to meet with Avad. They had to begin formulating a plan should they find the stock of blaze meant to take down Meridian. He was sure Aloy had done what she had ridden ahead of them to do. He knew she wouldn’t waste time by not informing him of the danger to his city, to his person.

He cleaned himself up, found a tunic that didn’t smell like Scrappersap, and made his way to the marketplace to find coffee and some healing herbs. It seemed Aloy had taken most of the rest of her belongings, only leaving behind things she wouldn’t need. Her medicine pouch was not amongst the scattered remains she left behind.

 

With a clearer head and a full belly, he made his way to the palace. His feet were dragging. He had a feeling she was there, and that a confrontation would be imminent. He didn’t want to fight with her in front of everyone at the palace, Avad in particular. Not that he wanted to impress him, but he really didn’t like that his first real day as official Captain of the Vanguard would be tainted by his thoughtless actions. Sure he’d been filling the role after Ersa’s alleged death, but he hadn’t really taken the title to heart once he and Aloy realized his sister might be alive.

He groaned. This was going to be a shit-storm.

He approached the King’s balcony, finding him deep in conversation with Maraud, but Aloy was nowhere in sight. He couldn’t deny he was thankful for that, but he was again wondering where she was. 

“Erend, you’re here. Good. We’ve figured out which warehouse Dervahl’s shipment of blaze has been sent to. Someone signed for the shipment yesterday. We can only assume that whatever he has planned will happen today.” Avad had a map spread out on a table before him. It looked like a map of the city, but there was more to it. As he took a closer look, he realized someone had added infiltration points. Aloy, he was sure. He’d never seen her handwriting but there was a delicate flourish to the outlines that only a feminine hand could produce.

“Have you seen Aloy?” He hadn’t meant for that to be his first question, but seeing her handiwork, he knew she had been here at some point.

“Yes. She was here not long ago, but she had to go to the marketplace. Apparently, something happened to her bow and she needed to purchase a new one. I made sure she had the shards to invest in one better than what she had.” 

He only nodded, knowing he was what happened to her bow. He tried to reign in his emotions, not wanting Avad to see how much he was hurting, how angry he was with himself, but the Sun-King was a keen observer. Not much got past him. 

Avad signaled for the others standing around him to leave, wanting a private word with his Captain.

“Dervahl will answer for this, Erend. We will find him. We will make him pay.” Avad rested his hand on Erend's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 

Erend breathed a sigh of relief. He had been so sure Avad would call him out for his actions last night but showed no sign that he knew what had happened between him and Aloy. 

“I’ve sent a messenger to the Claim to let everyone know.” At least he had remembered to do something important before he couldn’t think straight.

“If there is anything you or your clan need, you only need to ask.” Avad smiled, but he could see the pain behind the smile, the tightness around his eyes.

“There will be time for that later,” Erend assured him.

For a moment they stood in silence, both accepting that they had lost a woman dear to each of them. Then, Erend saw Avad’s expression shift and a fond smile replaced his sad one. He wondered for a moment who he would be looking at in such a way, but the answer came padding up the stairs. 

“Aloy,” Avad said, with a little more excitement than Erend was comfortable with. 

He turned, and as she caught sight of him, she paused. She glared at him, an icy coldness settled over her features and his heart broke anew. He had seen that look in her eyes before, just before she took down her prey. He had seen it turned on people who dared attack his sister, the Vanguard, himself or Avad. To now see it turned on him, he knew what her victims saw as she sank her spear into their bellies. Except that this time, it was his heart.

Avad didn’t miss the exchange and cast a confused look between the two of them before sighing and shaking his head. He must have put two-and-two together because he cast an angry look Erend’s way. 

Aloy approached the two of them, turning to speak directly to Avad. “Maraud told me the building we were looking for was out by the edge of the mesa, near the temple. We need to get there quickly and find out if Dervahl is still there or what he has left behind. There was enough blaze on that manifest to ensure he would do as he said and darken the sun.”

“I’ll round up my men.” Erend tried to sound confident as he said the words, to sound like he was ready to take this responsibility and own it.

She turned to him, but the icy look remained. “I’ll meet you there.”

Well, at least there was that.

He turned to leave, but Maraud spoke up, stopping him from making a hasty retreat. “Erend, wait. Remember that no one hates Dervahl more than your own tribe. The clans would give up much to obtain him.”

Erend couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If Aloy’s clear contempt wasn’t enough to sober him up, this sure as hell was. “Take him alive? So you can haggle over him? You can’t be serious.” This was the man who had kidnapped, tortured and killed his own sister. This man was the reason he held her as she died. 

Avad’s anger bubbled over into his words. “Our security depends on keeping the peace. If the opportunity presents itself, take him alive. Consider that a command.” The last words left his lips on the edge of a snarl. 

He knew he had fucked up, he saw it in the way both of them glared at him, in the way they were now speaking to him. He wished he could get Aloy alone, to tell her he was sorry, but he didn’t even know what to be sorry for. He had only the clues he’d found scattered over his living-room floor. He growled his frustration. This was a shit-storm, just not the shit-storm he’d expected. Whatever she’d told him, she’d ensured that Avad was on her side. 

He and Aloy turned to leave at the same moment, and he hoped he’d get the chance to talk to herthen, but Avad called her back.

“Aloy… a moment, please.”

She turned back to him without a glance in his direction. 

 

They reached the warehouse at almost the same time. He had the Vanguard at his back and Aloy at his side. He could content himself with that for the time being. It was time to finish this. They finished this and he could sit and talk with her. They finished this and they could move past whatever had happened the night before. 

He turned to his men. “This is the place.” His men readied themselves for the fight.

“You home, Dervahl? I got a surprise for you!” Letting his anger and frustration come to the forefront, he kicked in the front door. He probably should have been a bit more subtle but he didn’t feel like wasting time.

“Or he has a surprise for us,” Aloy muttered, and he was happy to hear her voice again without anger tinting her words.

“Is it a bomb? Doesn’t look too big.” But did a bomb have to be big to be effective?

“Big enough to kill us.” Her disappointed glare was back, but still, the anger was gone.

“Alright. I’ll shut up.”

She examined the bomb, bringing her hand to the device on her ear. “It’s a bomb alright and well crafted. If I try to take it apart, a booby trap will set it off.” She began to look around, letting the device lead her upstairs. And there, on the upper level, was the shipment of blaze that had led them here in the first place. It was centered just above the bomb below. 

“That’s a lot of blaze.” He knew he was stating the obvious, but he could only imagine what that amount plus a bomb would do to the city.

“If that bomb goes off, this will ignite a firestorm. It will be just what Dervahl promised.” She examined the area around the blaze barrels and decided on a course of action. She ripped the hinge off of the wall, opening the doors just on the other side and set her back against the pallet of highly flammable liquid. She pushed, but couldn’t seem to make the barrels move quickly enough.

“Help me push this out.”

“Okay, brute force, I am good at that.” He set his back next to hers and together they made the containers move. “What will it do?”

“Save the city, I hope. But when the blaze falls, run for it, because the booby trap on the bomb downstairs is going to go off.” 

He looked at her then. Had they just begun to attempt a suicide mission? Was this the answer to her anger, to have them both go up in flames? Steel and stone, he hoped not. “Uhh… Will we survive?”

“Probably not. Now, push.” They put all of their efforts into their final heave and wasted no time. As the blaze fell they ran for the door.

They made it just in time to escape the flames, but only just. They were thrown to the ground by the concussion of the blast. 

Erend turned to see that the only damage the bomb had done was to the warehouse. He wasn’t sure how they managed to make it out in time or how Aloy knew the bomb wouldn’t go off in time to ignite the blaze falling on the other side of the building but he thanked every god in existence that she was there. This woman never ceased to amaze him. 

“We did it! Dervahl’s best shot and Meridian is still standing.” He made no move to get up, taking the win and basking in it.

But Aloy was on her feet, reaching down to help him up. “This isn’t over. Dervahl said he’d make Avad watch.” She pulled him to his feet and he relished the fact that she was finally touching him, holding onto her hand longer than was necessary, but only until her words sank in.

“No way, to do that he’d have to get into the palace, and that’s too heavily guarded.” He’d even noticed extra guards on duty as he approached earlier, more people, more stations. He could only assume Avad was taking this threat to his life very seriously.

“Get back there, just to be sure. I’m going to have a look around. Maybe Dervahl’s men left something behind when they planted that bomb.”

She was giving him a chance to prove himself, a chance to redeem himself of whatever he’d done. “Got it. Don’t worry; if he tries for the palace, he’s finished.”

This was it. This was what he needed to prove to her, to himself, to Ersa, that he was worth something. He would protect his King. 

 

The Vanguard entered the palace, hot on Erend’s heels and following his every move. They made it unhindered through most of the palace and were about to reach Avad when Erend heard a familiar sound. Thinking to save Avad from the onslaught of the paralyzing weapon he rushed in and the Vanguard followed. 

A new machine lay on the corner of the balcony. He knew he had destroyed the one holding Ersa, but this one was more powerful, capable of taking out more than one target. He remembered far too late that Dervahl had used one of these weapons to decimate the Vanguard once before. As each man approached, they fell, hands going over their ears to try and muffle the paralyzing waves. 

As he lay on the ground, he sent out an apology to anyone that would hear it. He had failed, again. He had let her down, again.


	14. The Sun Shall Fall, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dervahl and Aloy face-off. 
> 
> Aloy has an interesting offer and another heartbreaking rejection in one blow.

The aqueducts. How could she have missed something so obvious? 

She hadn’t even considered that Dervahl would think to come in through the palace’s water system. Watching how easily he ran the course of the bridge unhindered, Aloy felt like it should have been one of the first places she would have considered in infiltrating the palace. No one would guard an opening that only water exited through. From there it was easy enough to blast a few holes, in key positions on the outer walls, giving him a direct line to Avad, and now, Erend. 

Quickly, Aloy scaled the wall to Dervahl and his men. Inside, she found two of Dervahl’s men and quickly dispatched them. After that, the route was clear and so well laid out she found herself wondering how long this plan had been in the works and if there was possibly someone in Avad’s court assisting the Oseram. How could he get this close without anyone noticing?

She picked up her pace when she hit the stairs leading to Avad’s private balcony. Her heart rate kicking up another notch, hoping she wasn’t too late. She was thankful that she had been able to foil Dervahl’s plans with the bomb, but what would happen when he realized that part of his plan wouldn’t happen. Would he kill Avad right then? Would he kill anyone who tried to stop him?

Voices came from the balcony. She slowed, crouching, staying out of sight, but she could see the men, hear the awful noise from Dervahl’s weapon. She placed the nullifying plugs in her ears.

Avad, Erend and the rest of the Vanguard lay immobilized on the ground, Dervahl standing over them. Aloy drew her bow, ready to take him out, but couldn’t get a good shot from her position. 

“Look at you Avad. The wriggling runt of a maniac king. You robbed me of my right to kill your father, so I’ll have to settle for you.” Dervahl crouched over the Sun-King, as he writhed on the ground. His screams pulling Aloy closer to the balcony. “I’m going to enjoy watching the Carja burn, even more, because you’ll be watching with me.”

Aloy noticed a device in Dervahl’s hand as he stood. “Say goodbye to Meridian, Avad. Breathe in the stench and choke on the ashes.”

He pushed a button on the device, once, twice. Then he beat the device with his hand, growing angrier and more confused by the second. “Something’s wrong.”

Aloy couldn’t help but smile. It must have been a detonation device for the bomb he’d planted. She had at least been successful in thwarting that part of his plan.

He turned to his men. “I didn’t… I didn’t hear anything.” He threw his arms around wildly in frustration. 

One of his men pointed to the horizon. “There’s a bit of smoke rising from the mesa’s edge.”

Dervahl looked to where the man was pointing, a growl of anger erupted from him. “No! It should be a firestorm, not some belch from a charcoal burner!” The men ran from the balcony to see what had happened.

Aloy took this as her chance to free the men from Dervahl’s device. She remembered that all it took to free Ersa was Erend’s hammer smashing it to bits. She brought her spear down, tearing the components to shreds. 

Immediately she could hear the moans of relief from the men surrounding her. Avad’s question swam in her brain. ‘Did she suffer?’ She guessed that he knew the truth of it now, and it hurt to know that the two men who cared about Ersa were now under no delusions of what she had gone through.

She reached down to place her hand on Erend’s face, to make sure he was okay, and he gave her a nod telling her he would be fine. Then she did the same with Avad. He seemed a bit shocked at her touch, and again he smiled through his pain, whispering, “Go.”

She returned his smile and nodded, letting him know she would take the bastard down for him.

She stepped out into Dervahl’s path, blocking him from trying to make a hasty escape. They stared each other down for a moment, Aloy taking the time to assess the man in front of her. He was as big as Erend, so a test of strength wouldn’t be ideal. She would have to find a way, in the tight space, to keep her distance and still inflict as much damage as possible.

“You must be the Nora who bushwhacked my camp,” He stated haughtily.

Self-righteous prig.

“And disabled your bomb.” 

You utter and complete asshole.

“Did you now? Well, bomb or no bomb, I’m going to splatter that throne with blood. First yours, then Avad’s.” He reached down and picked up a weapon Aloy had never seen before, but could only assume was a modified Oseram cannon. 

The first blast sent her flying across the marble floor and had her ears ringing. The blast itself didn’t really hurt, but her connection with the wall did. It knocked the air from her lungs and made her head spin. She tried to gain her footing, but each time she did another blast would hit her and she’d be thrown again. She had to get away from the cannon. 

She turned and ran for the opposite side of the balcony, losing sight of Dervahl for only a moment, but it was long enough for him to lose sight of her. As he rounded the corner, she brought her spear down across his skull and knocking him out cold. She made quick work of the others who had come to his aid. She had thought the fight over as she sank her spear into the last body, but as she turned back to the insane Oseram, she saw he was trying to crawl back to Avad. 

Aloy rushed over, blocking his path one more time, but not before he pulled out another device. “It’s not over yet, Nora. Any good Oseram tinkerer will tell you, always have a third plan.”

The device flashed red, and began emitting a signal. She looked around, wondering what the device could possibly be doing, and then she saw them, coming straight for her. Glinthawks. The metal birds made a slow circle above their heads.

Aloy pulled out her Ropecaster. If she could lure them to different parts of the balcony, she’d have a better shot at finishing the beasts quickly. She set about doing so, and as she took the third bird down, she heard Dervahl yell, “I hope you like fighting these things because there’s more on the way.”

She was growing weak, taking hit after hit, downing as many potions as she had to keep going. When the final bird fell, she nearly did as well. Her body ached from the chilling blasts of the Glinthawks. Her head spun as relief wanted to settle over her, but Dervahl wasn’t finished. He was still trying to make his way to Avad. She couldn’t let that happen. 

She pushed to her feet, forcing her body to move, and made her way to Dervahl. She didn’t know what she would do once she got to him. Avad wanted him alive, but the man seemed determined to make it through the balcony doors. 

She reached him, only to be shoved aside by Erend. She didn’t know how she kept her footing, but she managed to stay standing long enough to lean against the wall and watch as Erend approached the man on the floor.

“As much as I wish Ersa was here to kill you, I don’t mind doing it for her.” Erend lifted his hammer above his head, readying the finishing blow. 

Dervahl lifted his body, resting on his elbows. “Go ahead, I’m not afraid. Except that, knowing you Erend, you’ll screw it up.”

Erend growled, lifting the hammer slightly higher, but stopped the minute footsteps were heard approaching them.

Sun-King Avad stood before them. With the Vanguard at his back, he looked every inch the king he was. His mouth was set in a hard line. He turned hardened eyes, first on Dervahl, then on Erend, telling them he was done with this whole situation. 

Aloy knew Avad was the Carja’s king, but until then she had never seen him truly look, or act like a king. She had never seen him wear a mantle of such authority. It sent a chill through her. His very presence speaking of his power. He knew what he was capable of, and those around him did as well.

The anger leeched from Erend’s stance, his voice. He knew what Avad wanted, and in this moment there was no way to deny him. “I know what you are afraid of. Going back to Mainspring in chains. Every clan in the Claim wants you dead, and they know how to make it hurt. They’ll even bid for the privilege.”

Dervahl tried goading Erend into finishing him off, but Erend stood his ground. He would do as his King commanded. 

“Shut up. You’re at the Sun-King’s mercy now.” He pounded the butt of his hammer into Dervahl’s head with a satisfied grunt.

Erend and Avad exchanged a look. Avad thanking him for following orders, and Erend’s simple nod, telling him that he would always do as he asked.

The Vanguard dragged Dervahl’s body through the palace gates, to be taken to the palace’s cells. Aloy stood by and watched as all involved began to gather themselves and move on from everything that had happened over the last few weeks. Meridian was safe. Avad was safe. Ersa would finally have justice. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief.

All, except Aloy. 

Now that she had finished helping Erend and Avad, she would have to pursue Olin, the killers from the proving, and find out what her connection to Elizabet Sobek was. She knew this was her path. It had been the only reason she’d been made a Seeker. It was the only reason she had taken the path to Meridian. Yet, she felt torn. She’d found a life here, a purpose, friends. 

She belonged.

But her mission was far too important to set aside. Her people had been massacred. She couldn’t let the killers get away, and they wouldn’t stop coming for her. She couldn’t put these people in danger; they’d already been through enough.

As everyone dispersed, she made her way to Avad. She was not ready to tell him goodbye. She was not ready to walk away from someone who had become a dear friend, from someone she had fought for, fought to protect. And from someone who had protected her. He had held her as her tears refused to stop falling. He hadn’t protected her body, but her heart. 

As she approached, he gave her that fond smile, his eyes grew soft, and it made what she had to do so much harder. 

“Aloy, to say you have my gratitude feels woefully insufficient. You saved my life. You saved Meridian. And because of you, there will be justice for Ersa’s murder. We can mourn her knowing the truth, without painful uncertainty. It’s hard to imagine where we’d be without you.” He paused and took Aloy’s hands in his.

“And I don’t want to try.”

Aloy could feel her throat tightening. This was not what she expected. 

“I hope you will consider staying in Meridian.”

Oh, how she wanted to. He was making it truly difficult to say what she needed to stay. She had to leave. She had to find her own answers. This was not where her mission ended. 

“Why do you want me to stay in Meridian?’ She knew that they were friends. She knew that they had shared deeply of themselves with each other, but she hadn’t expected that he would ask her to stay, knowing she still hadn’t found what she had come all this way for. 

He smiled, and it was so genuine and pure that it tugged at her heart. “I would think that would be obvious.”

Obvious? Now she was confused. “Not to me.”

He lifted his hand to her face, stroking her cheek, much in the same gesture she had before. “Well, to start with, you kept the city from going up in flames. You’re strong, shrewd, and capable. I… I could use someone like you at my side.”

At his side? Was he suggesting what she thought he was suggesting? Surely not. But the look in his eyes said, yes. He was asking her to stay, not just in Meridian, but with him. He wanted to be with her. 

Now, her heart was divided on more than one front. She cared for Avad. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have fought to keep him unharmed, but she cared for Erend. And if she was honest with herself, she was falling for Erend. While Avad was sweet, kind and generous, Erend had wormed his way into her heart long ago. He had been on her mind since the day she met him. 

Yet, she couldn’t find it within herself to be unkind, to outright reject him. “Thank you for the offer. But I don’t think either you or I are ready for that. At least, not yet. I’ve got a long way to go before I find what I’m looking for, and it’s going to take me far from Meridian.”

The disappointment in his eyes was clear, and he dropped his hand from her face. “Of course, I didn’t mean to presume. You are your own woman, just as Ersa was. But please, remember that you are always welcome here. I hope that today is just another sunrise for us, not a goodbye.”

She hugged him then, wanting to feel his arms around her one more time. He rested his head on top of hers, planting a kiss just shy of her forehead. 

When she stepped away, the fond smile was back.

“It’s time for me to go.”

“Of course. I hope you find what you’re after, Aloy. And if need be, I will come to your aid, as sure as the Sun’s rising.”

She nodded, and walked away. 

Erend was standing on one of the step’s many landings, looking out into the distance. She didn’t know what she was going to say to him. They hadn’t spoken about what happened at his house last night and after what they had just been through, she really didn’t want to. She knew it would be foolish to act like nothing ever happened, but right now, she just wanted to tell him she wasn’t upset anymore. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him, and that last night did nothing to change that.

As she approached, he turned to her. “Aloy, I was just thinking about Ersa. She would have killed Dervahl on the spot. I know it. That’s why she went out to meet him in the first place, to put him down. But she also told me to grow up. Got to admit, it burned a little when she said it. But from now on, I’m going to try and take it to heart. And I guess growing up means putting what you should do, in front of what you want to do, right?”

She laughed a little. “You’re asking me. I’m pretty sure you’re older.”

“Yeah, but I don’t act it, do I?” He sighed and ran his fingers through his Mohawk. “I’m going back to the Claim for a while, to put Ersa’s body to rest. I will be gone for some time and I know you will be, too. I’m going to take that time to figure some things out. I don’t want to burden you with that. Until I can pull myself together, I think its best that we end this. I don’t want a repeat of last night. You don’t deserve that. You deserve better than me.”

“Erend, don’t say that. I like you just the way you are.” She reached for him but he pulled away.

“No. I mean it. You deserve someone who would treat you like a queen, not someone who ends up plastered with no memory of what happened, only to find they’ve destroyed things that were precious to the person they care about.” 

She could see the tears brimming in his eyes. This was hurting him, but he was doing it anyway. “You are a good man, Erend, and a good Captain. Look at what you did with Dervahl. How many people, in your place, would have taken the killing blow? Yet, you did what your King asked of you. I don’t doubt you regret what happened last night, but can’t we at least talk about this. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Maybe, but not right now. You have your road and I have mine. Just don’t forget about me while you are out there saving the world, and when I get back, when I’ve figured out how to treat you like I should, we can talk about it then.” 

Without another word, he turned and walked away.


	15. The City of the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend has rejected her.
> 
> Avad has proposed... something... she's still not sure what.
> 
> Now her original mission has to take priority. She has to stop letting the men in her life become distractions.
> 
> #Niloy
> 
> Song prompt for this scene - Gangsta - Kehlani

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...so... this is a long one...
> 
> Sorry, not sorry.

After her talk with Erend, Aloy didn’t know what to feel. She was upset that something so sweet, so incredibly intense, had simply walked out of her life. She was angry that she had no say in the outcome. She was confused about his motivations for leaving her in the first place. She had known Erend liked to drink. It was evident the first time she’d seen him in Meridian. This was not news to anyone. She’d heard people talk about him in the streets. One woman had even spoken loudly of her desire to share a drink with him as Aloy had passed. She wondered if the Oseram woman was jealous of her. Many had seen them in the streets together, and the Carja and Oseram seemed to like to draw their own conclusions about her relationship with the Captain and with King Avad. 

And Avad. That was another story altogether. She had known they were growing close. The night he comforted her, she knew she had been giving him a measure of comfort by sharing his bed, but she hadn’t expected it would lead to an offer of… what… marriage? Surely he wouldn’t offer something like that to a Nora girl, when only a few days ago he had told her he couldn’t be with Ersa because it would cause strife among the Carja nobles. She could only imagine that many Carja fathers hoped to be able to sway the King’s favor by offering up their own daughters.

It was all a mess in her head. Erend wanted her, but only when he felt he could treat her better. He felt unworthy of her. She knew he felt guilty for hurting her, but she wasn’t delicate. Yes, she’d cried, but that wasn’t enough for her to want to walk away from him. Besides the fact that he had a drinking problem, he was a good man, kind, gentle. One emotional outburst backed by alcohol and his sister’s death wasn’t unreasonable. Even though his words had hurt, she understood his need to lash out. She only wished she’d had a moment to tell him that.

But it was all over now. Meridian was behind her and her Broadhead was pointed in the direction of Olin’s last known location. She would turn her focus back to her original task and let the cards fall where they may in the meantime. She needed answers. She wanted to know why Olin had led the killers to the Embrace. She wanted to know what he knew about the woman who looked so much like her. She wanted to know about the man who had killed Rost. Why were they after her? Who were they? What did they think to accomplish by ending her life?

As she approached the site she had marked on her map, she noticed many Carja men dressed in oddly dark armor. The Carja she had seen, up to this point, all seemed to wear white. She could only assume these men belonged to the Shadow Carja. It made sense, in a way, that they would choose to don the darker garb, but she felt it also placed a rather large target on their backs this close to Meridian. And what was even more unnerving were the masks. All of them wore the white faceless pieces. She supposed this was to hide in plain sight. She knew many had followed the trail of the Shadow Carja because it was all they knew. Avad had changed things, and change never came easily. 

She abandoned her Broadhead, giving it a gentle pat, and made her way through the tall grass interspersed along the path to her destination. She avoided the gaze of the masked men, and the few corrupted machines she saw and made her way to an opening in the hillside. Quickly and quietly she took down the two men standing guard at the entrance and lifted herself over the carved lip of the stone wall. 

She didn’t know what she had expected to find with the masked men patrolling the perimeter, but it certainly wasn’t Olin standing in the middle of more of these men, shouting and telling them that they were insane. He was arguing with their leader about ancient machines. 

“Yes, the worst nightmares of our enemies come true,” said the creepy voice of the masked leader.

Just then, a corrupter became animated, rising to its full height, and it wasn’t the only one. Aloy watched as they grew mobile, skittering across the open excavation site. The machines took in their surroundings but did not attack anyone. How were they doing this? Did they have the same device she did on her spear? If so, how were they ensuring the metal beasts didn’t eventually turn on them? She couldn’t see how these men thought they would be able to maintain their hold over these machines for long. Yet, they seemed confident they would. She had come here for answers and now new questions were sprouting and taking root in her mind. How was all of this connected?

Olin shouted from below her, “These machines will destroy us all.”

The masked man turned back to Olin. “They will only destroy our enemies and bring us back the lands…” He screamed and grabbed the side of his head just as Aloy felt a jolt of electric shock from her focus.

What had just happened? She looked back to see many of the men writing in pain. Apparently, what had just happened to her was happening to them on a much larger scale.

A voice began to speak to her from nowhere. It took her a moment to realize that whoever it was, was speaking through her focus. “Forgive the intrusion, Aloy. You left me no choice.”

“Who is this?” 

“An interested party. Now, their focuses have been disabled, but I don’t know for how long. The rest is up to you.”

Up to her? What did he mean by that? Was this man an ally? Was he trying to take down these men and saw his opportunity on her arrival? “Who is this?”

She waited for a few moments, but no further insight was given, no instructions on how to take down these men, or the corruptors. Well, this wasn’t her first fight with the machines. She knew they were susceptible to fire and she knew she could take down as many of the men as she needed to, to face them alone. 

Quietly, she made her way through the dig site. She kept to the shadows and made her way across the tight wires, and up ladders. Her bow made quick work of those along the upper ridges, but as one of the bodies fell to the ground, the rest of the men and the machines were alerted to her presence. She tried to stay hidden, but the corruptors found her quickly, shooting their sickness at her through mounted cannons. She dosed herself against the corruption, but not before some of the damage was done. She felt woozy, her stomach turned and she stumbled. A fire arrow grazed her back and the ending concussion had her gripping the stone wall for balance.

The corruptor jumped, landing just short of her place along the wall. It gave her a small sense of relief, knowing that they couldn’t reach her if she remained on the upper levels. She rushed across the tight wires, looking for an appropriate spot to take down the machines and keep herself out of the line of fire. Finally, she made it to a wooden outcropping, the height, and angle just far enough from the corruptors cannons that she wouldn’t be hit and just close enough that she could take aim on the machines easily. 

Her plan worked well enough, only taking minor hits, and even then they weren’t direct. She continued to dose herself with antidote as the attack drug on. The corruptor firing at her, her dodging the attack. Her fire arrows colliding with the cannon, but never long enough for the machine to catch flame. 

By the time it was over, she was slightly sick and more than irritated. After taking what loot she could from the fallen bodies, coming away with quite a few shards, she made her way to Olin. She leveled her spear at his chest. She was done with this fight, done with him, but she needed answers and Olin was her only lead to these answers. 

He held his hands up in defense. “I promise, I’ll tell you everything.” The man seemed to find his courage, now knowing that the device on his head had been disabled.

“I know you will,” Aloy growled in frustration. “The killers who came for me at the Proving. Who are they?”

He dropped his hands back to his sides, lifting himself from the ground and closer to her spearhead. He seemed to understand that as long as he was answering her questions he was safe. “The Eclipse. Some kind of holy warriors, a cult of the Shadow Carja.”

“Shadow Carja,” she wondered aloud.

“Except they are not like any Carja I’ve known. They don’t pray to the Sun. They worship some kind of devil.”

What did that have to do with anything? She didn’t need to know their beliefs, only why they were after her. She pushed her spearhead closer to Olin’s chest. “I’m not interested in their superstitions.”

He explained that the devil was real, that he’d heard it and that it had a name, Hades. He was obsessed with the voice of this devil, stating it was unlike any voice he’d ever heard before. She asked about him hearing this voice and what it said when it saw her.

“Only three words. System threat detected.” He shook his head as if trying to shake the memory of the voice from his mind.

System threat detected, that sounded like a machine, not a person. It sounded like the door the Nora worshiped as a goddess. Yet, none of this added up. Was Hades like the Goddess? Was there a connection between the two? Those were likely answers she would have to find on her own. Olin seemed to know little beyond what he was already telling her.

“What are the Eclipse cultists after, besides me?” 

Olin seemed to have little answers on that front as well. He wasn’t sure but he thought the Eclipse wanted to take Meridian. They wanted Sun-King Avad dead. That was all he knew. She didn’t understand her connection to that bit of information. When they came for her the first time, she hadn’t yet saved Meridian or Avad. They couldn’t have known she would do so in the future. 

She asked him about the man who killed Rost and was almost relieved to find that this man was a hardened killer. She knew Rost had fought his hardest to save her, but the fight ended so quickly, she had thought that maybe Rost’s exile had softened him. That maybe it was her fault he hadn’t been able to take the warrior down, but no, he was just that good, that strong. She had felt that strength as he had held her body immobile over the side of the mountain, but she had thought maybe it was because she was so small. 

She continued to question him, wanting to know as much as she could about his involvement before making the decision about what to do with him. Yet, one lingering question remained on her mind. “The Eclipse were sent to kill me because I look like another woman, older, maybe twice my age, short hair. Who is she?”

“I don’t know! My focus found her image one in the ruins of Maker’s End. Maybe you can find her there.”

“You found her image in the ruins? How?” 

“There was a door, and beside it, a kind of ancient device that… contained the woman’s image. My focus recorded the location. You do look like her. Is she your mother?”

Aloy felt her heart clench at the question. This was what she had been trying to figure out. Was that woman she’d seen her mother? She had no idea, but she burned to know the answer, even more so now that someone else was asking the question. 

“I’m the one asking the questions and I’ve heard enough. It’s time to finish this.”

His face fell as he accepted that Aloy was likely to sink her spear into him now that her curiosity was sated. “I won’t beg for my life but if there is any mercy in you, free my family, please.”

Again with that damned word. Why did she give in to it so easily? She agreed to free his family. She didn’t want to see any innocents suffer, and while Olin was far from innocent, she couldn’t imagine his family had anything to do with his past deeds. And his past deeds were not committed of his own volition. While she struggled with the idea of letting him go, she was all too keenly aware that none of this was truly his fault. Yes, he could have run, but that would have put his family in danger. She couldn’t imagine having the weight of knowledge that no matter what you did, it wouldn’t be your life that was forfeit, but those you held most dear. 

“It will take many good deeds to make up for the crimes you’ve committed.”

Olin sat up a little straighter, his shock overriding his fear of the blade held to his chest. “You’re sparing me? After all I’ve done?”

“Yes. Forge a new life, Olin. One of better make.”

He pledged an oath of loyalty to her on the spot. It wasn’t what she intended, but she meant to keep him true to it, telling him to wait for her and she would help him rescue his family.

 

Her emotions had already been in turmoil, but as she turned her Broadhead toward the path to Maker’s End, she couldn’t help but feel the anger bubbling to the surface. All of these unanswered questions, a new threat to Avad, her lack of understanding her place in all of this, it was too much. She wished she had someone to talk to about all of this. Someone who could help her piece these things together. 

She wished Erend were there. 

But thoughts of him made the anger inside her burn hotter. He had left her, for her own good, just as she truly needed him. Why was that? Rost had done the exact same thing, abandoning her just before the Proving, telling her he would be gone if she ever came looking for him. But she knew now that was a lie, a lie he was telling himself and telling her to make the pain of their separation less. But Erend, he was truly gone, left for Mainspring the same day she rode out of Meridian. 

Why was it, the men in her life always felt the need to protect her in this way? How was this for her own good? Both Rost and Erend felt they were unworthy of her love. How had she become someone above anyone else? She was no different from the outcast girl he’d met at the Proving. She was no different than the little girl Rost had taken under his wing and trained to become a Brave. She was the same person, regardless of whatever title someone chose to place upon her. Outcast or Brave, Seeker or Exile, she didn’t see the difference. Yet, with each new label, people chose to see her in a different light. 

She knew in her heart that Varl or Sona would have never glanced her way if she hadn’t been named a Seeker. She knew many of the Nora she encountered in the Embrace would have turned her away if she hadn’t won the Proving. Yes, she realized her actions that day had been heroic, and many of her decision after could be deemed such, but again it didn’t change who she was. 

She growled her frustration and kicked her Broadhead into high gear. She didn’t get far before she saw the tell-tale black smoke rising over the crest of the coming hill. 

Shit.

She didn’t need this right now. She didn’t want to face the man she knew would be waiting for her if she went any further. She sat, still as stone, indecision rankling under the surface of her cold exterior. She knew she couldn’t leave the bandits in the camp ahead of her, but if Nil treated her the way he had earlier, she might just kill him. Yet, with Erend turning her away, and Avad’s wildly inappropriate proposal, he may be the only friend she had in the world right now. 

She nudged the mount into motion, taking it to the best vantage point she saw, knowing he’d be there. As she approached, Nil rose from his crouch and stretched his body, giving an exaggerated yawn. At the end of his yawn, he let out a moan that she was unsure if it was meant to be another show of exasperation or an enticement. Either way, she was in no mood to deal with his jokes.

He was unmoved by her glare, so she sighed and let his act continue.

“I waited for you. Time passing pulls the anticipation tight as a wire. Ah, how many has it been now?”

She knew him well enough to know he had probably followed her from the Sundom and knew this camp was here, so rode ahead. It wasn’t like she had started this journey at a quickened pace. 

“I don’t keep count, Nil.” Her irritation came through in her words, and he picked up on it.

“Don’t keep count? Sometimes I just don’t get you. Are you like us, or a little different?”

She didn’t understand what ‘us’ he was referring to, but could only assume he meant cold-blooded killers. “Hopefully, a little different.”

He groaned, “Well, if that’s what you’re going to tell yourself. Shall we get started?” 

She remembered all too clearly how he had said she was only his partner in this and it ate at her anew. He hadn’t rejected her, but made it clear they were not anything close to lovers. His Carja wedding quip had seen that she understood that. Yet, he was always there, always watching her. Then he’d been so possessive of her out in the desert. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was even jealous that she had been out there with someone other than him. He had tried to convince her to go with him then, and it wasn’t until she’d said she wouldn’t go that his demeanor had changed.

She groaned again. Men… Why were they so confusing?

She turned her focus back to the bandit camp. This she understood, the hunt, the kill. Yet, in this moment she didn’t have the patience to enact some elaborate plan. Standing on the hill, she took out the lookouts, alerting the rest of the camp to her presence. She waited but didn’t hide as the bandits came one by one through the gates, looking for her. She took each one out with expert precision. It wasn’t until an arrow flew past her head that she realized, she had left her and Nil exposed and now many of them were coming around the side to the encampment. 

Nil tugged her down into the grass, pulling her further from the bombardment of arrows and cannon fire. “Sun and Shadow, girl. Are you trying to get us killed?”

“No. I just want this over with.”

He examined her face for a moment, but she had no idea what he saw there. He seemed to wonder if they should proceed with taking down the camp, but his indecision brought another of the bandits to their location. 

Without thought, Aloy drove her spear into the man’s gut. 

Nil groaned as he realized this was going to be a true fight. Aloy was going to see to that. He released his hold on her and she darted into the camp.

Aloy let all of her anger and frustrations come to the forefront as she charged the gates. Her spear making quick work of anyone who dared get close enough. The bandits seemed to realize they didn’t stand a chance against her in close combat and began to run as she approached. 

Nil had come in behind her and began picking off anyone she didn’t see. She was thankful when that included the man with the cannon on the crest of the hill, but he didn’t immediately go down, so Aloy charged him, knocking the man off his feet. She sank her spear into his belly to finish him off. 

When the battle was over, she fell to her knees. She wouldn’t cry. Not in front of Nil, but the emotions that had been swimming inside of her were coming to a head. She hated feeling this way. She wanted to cut ties with everyone, go back to being an outcast with no one to hurt her, no one that could cause her pain, or anger, or frustration. She tried to breathe, but that only made the want to cry much worse. So she got to her feet and walked out of the camp. 

She made it to a nearby ridge and took in the view of the valley. It wasn’t much but it was enough to focus on that she could distract herself for the moment. 

Nil approached her, standing next to her and taking in the view alongside her. “These little moments are refreshing aren’t they?”

She turned to him then, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “That could be the least creepy thing you’ve ever said to me.”

He let out a groan that could have come at the end of an orgasm. “That glimpse of yourself in their eyes, just as the cloud of death passes across them…” 

She was quickly reminded of how he usually felt after one of these fights. Not that she had forgotten, but it wasn’t the first thing on her mind right now. She sighed, “Nevermind. There is goes. You know, Nil, if you get tired of hunting bandits, there’s a group called the Eclipse…”

He shook his head and held up his hands to stop her from going any further. “That’s a political situation.”

“They’re murderers, and they are raising an army of machines. That’s a little more than… politics.”

He grinned then. “Don’t hate me for being single-minded. Besides, I wouldn’t bet on how long the Shadow Carja are going to last, if you’re in for the kill.”

Was that a compliment? Did he truly think that highly of her? Goddess, she didn’t need him putting her on a pedestal either. So she changed the subject. “Where have you been?”

“I heard the roads of the Sundom were no longer safe. Thankfully, it was true. Ambushes, raiding parties, even corrupted machines. The mortal wounds just opened themselves to accept my arrows. But you knew this already.”

It was true. She had seen the blip of her focus telling her he wasn’t far away. She knew he had stuck close while she was outside the gates of Meridian, but she would lose him before they came within sight of its gates. She now wished he would have had the desire to come to the city with her. She may have been able to save herself quite a bit of grief. But that was selfish. He would have walked into a city that would have no problem killing him on sight. 

He moved slightly closer and lifted his hand to her cheek. “You’ve been walking on the edge of life and death, I can tell.”

She pressed her cheek into his comforting warmth. He was the last person she expected to show her compassion, and it melted some of the ice that had been building around her heart. “Yeah, it’s a long story.”

His voice was now a soft caress. “With many quick endings, I hope.”

He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, pulling her body into his. 

He had truly missed her. Aloy was shocked by this realization, and she needed his touch right now. She deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to delve inside as she curled hers around his. He let out a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a sigh and lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist. 

Nil carried her to a camp not too far from where he had stood, but was tucked away from anyone who might see them. He came to his knees with her still wrapped around his body and laid her down on a blanket. 

Had he really waited here for her, in hopes she’d eventually show up? She only had a moment to think about it. Nil ran his hands along the expanse of her exposed belly. “I like you in Carja leathers. I like watching the way your body moves in battle.”

She smiled. “I would think that you’d like them off of me more.”

He growled and sank his teeth into her belly. She was reminded of a machine devouring its prey. It made her squeal and squirm underneath him. He bit harder, and she was sure he was marking her, placing his brand on the one bit of flesh she constantly had exposed. It hurt, but like so many things with him, he brought pleasure with the pain as he licked the soreness away. His storm grey eyes met hers as he again sank his teeth into her tender flesh, repeating the process of branding her. 

He sat back on his heels, removing his headdress and his vest, and then worked the buckles holding her skirt in place. She lifted her hips, so he could remove the skirt fully. With her in this position, he slipped his hands under her and removed her leggings, only for them to get caught on her sandals, but she was able to kick them off herself. 

She spread her legs and he took the moment to devour her with his eyes. He stripped off his trousers and brought his body down over hers. He didn’t enter her, but she could feel him pressed up against her clit. He rubbed himself over her making her slick with need.

His hands slipped under the silks covering her upper body, and he didn’t bother removing them, simply pushed them up and out of his way. He squeezed her breasts, hard, and again shocks of pain and pleasure coursed through her. He seized a nipple and she had the frantic thought that he would bite there, but he didn’t. He sucked the peak between his lips and his suction grew harder, more intense, but he kept his teeth at bay. Just as the pleasure was turning again to pain, he released the nipple to focus on the other.

Aloy didn’t know it was possible to orgasm from nipple play, yet, her body was trembling, bucking when he finally released her. He squeezed them again, bring her hardened nipples together so he could lick and suck on them both at the same time. The dual sensation had her hips rising to meet his and he slid inside of her, bringing his hands to her hips to pull her body into his lap. Her lower back left the ground and he tugged harder, sinking every inch of himself into her. He held her there, suspended as he tried to even deeper. 

His head tossed back and he bit his lower lip, but he didn’t move. It seemed being so deep within her was all he wanted at the moment. She was not satisfied with this and began moving her hips. He opened his eyes and a feral smile tugged his lips back from his teeth. He began to move, slowly, nearly pulling out of her and then sinking back to the hilt. He did this for so long that Aloy began to whimper, needing much more.

He released her then, letting her back fall to the ground and brought his hands down beside her shoulders. He kept his strokes long and languid. His teeth now branding her neck. She pulled his hips, begging him to pick up the pace and finally he gave in, pumping into her for a few strokes and then slowing again. He repeated this multiple times before he truly began to fuck her. 

It didn’t take long for her to cum after that, he had built her up so much that she erupted with the largest orgasm she’d ever had. She could feel the wetness on her thighs, her ass, and her back. 

She realized then, this was his way of branding every part of her body that he could. He was claiming her in any way he knew how. But she didn’t care. It healed some of the rejection she’d felt for too long. To have someone blatantly say she was his should have bothered her. It did when Avad did it, but she also knew that Nil wouldn’t be the type to make her want to settle down, become less than she was. In fact, Nil would always accept her just as she was and even enjoyed the darker parts of her.

He came inside of her, but this time he didn’t tell her it was stupid. She was thankful that she had remembered to keep taking the herbs. She didn’t need him claiming her in that way.

He collapsed beside her and pulled her into his body. She nearly pulled away, reminded of Erend and Avad doing the same thing but she could let him have this moment. He had made her forget them for a while, had brought her some peace in the chaos of her life. It was only fair to return the favor.


	16. Maker's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy goes to the ruins and meets Sylens.

Aloy made her way to Maker’s End. She was still unsure if she should trust the unknown voice from her focus, or Olin’s word that the woman he saw was only an image found in the ruin. But it was the only lead she had. She now knew who the killers were and where to find them. The only other thing she’d left the Embrace for was answers about her mother. Since she’d found the woman’s image, she couldn’t help but think that there was no other reasonable answer.

Who was this woman? Was she indeed her mother, and if not, why did they look nearly identical? Why did the killers think she was a threat just because she looked like her?

None of it made much sense. 

She hadn’t realized she’d been muttering to herself until the mysterious voice intruded on her focus once again. “Her name is Elizabet Sobek.”

“You! Spying through my focus again?” She hated that he could pop in on her thoughts unannounced, but he was giving her the one piece of information she truly wanted. She sighed, “Well, go on. What do you know about her?”

“Stay on your present course and before long you’ll know her as well as I do. Maybe better. But be wary. Maker’s End is crawling with Eclipse troops. To help you deal with them, I’ve left some useful equipment just outside the ruins. Your focus will show the location.”

Who was he and how did he know these things? And Elizabet Sobek, that name was not Nora, nor was it like any she’d heard before. As she continued to mutter to herself she quickly realized she was getting no response from her mysterious caller. Funny how he only popped in when he wanted to. 

She made it to the stash not far from the ruins and his voice chimed in again. “Good hunting, Aloy.”

“Why are you doing this?” He was helping her, but she couldn’t fathom what it was he wanted with her, or her information. He seemed to know much more about all of this than she did. 

“Because I want you to succeed. We’ll talk later.”

“Wait,” she yelled, but it was pointless. He didn’t respond. “Damn him.”

 

It was a battle to get into the ruins. The Eclipse were indeed guarding the ruins, along with corrupted Watchers, a Corruptor and a massive Deathbringer. But what awaited her inside the metal ruins was more and less than she ever expected to find. Elizabet Sobek created a weapon of some sort to fight the Faro robots. Ted Faro and Elizabet Sobek didn’t get along, yet they had worked together to correct a mistake made by Faro’s corporation that would lead to the near destruction of the Old Ones. A project called Zero Dawn. The ruin held little else and created more questions for Aloy. 

“This doesn’t add up. Sobek couldn’t have been my mother she lived ages ago. All of this searching and I’m still no closer.” She brought her hands to her face, trying to rub away the frustration that was causing her head to ache. Her fingers grasped the bridge of her nose, smoothed the tension building under her eyes. 

“That’s your reaction to everything you’ve just learned. To whine like a spoiled child?” 

What an ass! He knew nothing about her, knew nothing about the ways she had suffered in life, simply because she was motherless. He knew nothing about her time spent as an Outcast or the way people treated her because of the label. This was supposed to be her chance to find out why she was abandoned, why she was left in the belly of the mountain. “You should really try talking that way to me, face-to-face!”

She was about to leave the ruins when the man who had been speaking actually appeared in front of her, not physically, but through her focus. This angered her even more because she had faced down the cultists and machines to get this far, but he could see everything she saw, hear everything she heard, with no harm to his person. She was the one risking her life. He shouldn’t be privy to what she knew without a little sacrifice of his own. 

“As you wish. Do you really have no idea how monumental are the discoveries you just made, Aloy? I expected more of you.” 

She examined him as he spoke. She wanted nothing more than to punch him in the jaw, but it would do no good to fight someone that wasn’t there. She groaned internally. This was not going to be her idea of a good time. This was going to cause the pounding in her head to grow. Yet, she still needed answers from him.

“So, you’ve got a face, got a name to go with it?”

He gave a humorless laugh. “Of all the questions you could ask right now, that’s the one you choose?” He droned on and on about the discoveries she’d just made and how he’s spent his life in search of the answers she now possessed. 

Aloy was running out of patience and considered stepping out to the repel point and ending the conversation. If he wanted to be a complete dick, she wasn’t above being one herself. She made a step forward and the blue shape of the man lifted his hands.

“Sylens. That is my name. Now, why don’t you try asking another question, something less trivial?”

For some reason, her anger cooled a bit, but she couldn’t keep the frustration from her voice. “Alright, Sylens. You’ve made your point. I came to these ruins to learn more about Elizabet Sobek, and I have. But I still don’t understand my connection to her. Or why the Eclipse is trying to kill me, or who Hades is. No answers… just one question after another.”

He made her see that the common thread amongst all of this was her connection to Sobek. He made it clear that this was the thread they needed to follow to find answers. They would have to follow her trail to U.S. Robot Command, known to the Oseram as the Grave-Hoard.

Aloy felt like she was beginning to chase a fading trail. She felt that every place ventured to would be a whole new part of the story that she didn’t understand. First with the Eclipse, now, with Zero Dawn. It all seemed to tangle into a web of unsolvable mysteries. 

 

Aloy wasn’t ready to hunt down more mysteries. She needed some time to process everything. So, she busied herself, running a few errands for those she promised she would. She found the Banuk camp with the silent machines, only to find the Oseram who had been sent before her had tampered with the very thing keeping the machines from attacking those in the camp. She hunted down the machines the Lodge had requested and the Snapmaw and Longleg lenses the merchants had asked her for. Then she went in search of Gera’s husband. 

She made it to the bridge at the Glarebreak but saw no sign of Kendert. However, there were cart tracks that looked as though someone had fled and lost control of their cart. She followed the trail only to find said cart abandoned and some supplies scattered around the area. She flipped on her focus and a trail of blood became clear enough to follow for a while, but then it ended. Still, there was no sign of the Oseram. She took in her surroundings, spotting a crate not too far away. As she approached, she noticed the Oseram seal on the wooden box. He must have tried to carry some of his goods to safety.

The trail continued, the path littered with debris from what she could only assume was Kendert’s cart. She spotted a barrel that seemed to have rolled down the nearby hill and as she came closer, she was hit with a familiar smell. Over the past few days, she had been able to keep him from her thoughts. She had been so focused on the next part of her mission, and what it might mean for her, that she refused to let anything else cross her mind. But now, the smell of the Oseram brew reminded her of the one person she missed almost as much as Rost. 

She kicked the barrel in frustration. A shock of pain shot up her leg, telling her how foolish she was being. After this was finished, she’d have to head back to Meridian and she didn’t need to be dwelling on the one man that wouldn’t be there. If she could only talk to him. She needed to hear his voice, to feel his large arms surround her. She wanted to tell him about all she had found in the ruins at Maker’s End and she wished he could go with her to the Grave-Hoard. She wanted to show him the amazing ruins and how she was able to interact with them. If he found her focus fascinating, she could imagine his face as she lit up the displays and projections.

She considered kicking the barrel a second time, but her ankle still wasn’t happy about her first attempt. So she trudged up the hill to see where the barrel had rolled from. 

Kendert had made himself a small camp on the ledge of the hill overlooking a valley of Tramplers. The scene was an odd one for sure, an opinion he held as well. He explained he had sought shelter from a sandstorm only to run straight into the herd below. In his haste to escape, he lost bottles of Scrappersap in the valley. He didn’t want to go back to his wife without them. She was already upset enough with him. 

Aloy wanted to scream. First, the Oseram brew that Erend almost always smelled like, now the blasted Scrappersap that had sent him into a fit of anger and led to their current separation. What she wouldn’t give to shoot her flame arrows into the bottles and watch them explode. But she liked Gera, she wouldn’t set flame to her prized liquor, no matter how she now felt about it. 

Taking the herd down was no easy task, but she did it and found all of the missing bottles. Kendert thanked her and she told him Gera would be waiting for him at Daytower. She was going to go ahead herself, if he wished to collect anything else now that the herd was dealt with. 

Gera’s easy smile had Aloy smiling for the first time in days. It was refreshing, lifting her spirits a little. They spoke for a few minutes, laughing about her husband’s predicament and his near loss of the entire supply of alcohol. Then Gera got an odd look on her face and lifted her hand to Aloy’s stomach.

“Been fighting more than machines, I see.”

She had completely forgotten about the marks Nil had left on her body. Once they had parted the next morning, she gave them little thought. She’d been running around with the marks exposed for the better part of three days. Why was Gera the first person to mention this? 

And her old leathers were still at Erend’s house. 

Shit.

“Hey, Little Spark, didn’t mean to embarrass you. There’s no shame in having a little fun.” She nudged her elbow into Aloy’s bruised ribs.

Aloy laughed, her smile a little forced. “No. It’s not that. I just kind of forgot they were there.” And that she was going to have to go into Erend’s house to get the rest of her stuff, or buy new armor. 

She checked her shard purse. She had enough to purchase something if she wanted to, but it would leave her short on shards when she went back. She had told herself that when she returned to Meridian, she would not stay at Erend’s or the palace, but find one of the expensive inns. Now, she had to choose, cover the marks and save herself some grief from the eyes of the Carja, or leave them exposed and run the risk of word getting to Erend or Avad. She didn’t think she would regret letting Nil have his way with her, but now she realized it wasn’t something she wanted getting back to Erend. She’d done nothing wrong. He’d left her. But, for some reason, she now felt like she had betrayed him in some way.


	17. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avad misses Aloy.
> 
> Erend returns from Mainspring. 
> 
> Aloy sees something that, yet again, leads her back to Avad.

It had been a little over a week and there was no sign of the Nora girl anywhere around Meridian. Avad had told the city guard to inform him the moment she was spotted within the capital. He was beginning to think his ill-timed proposal had driven her away. He still wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask her to stay with him. He meant every word he’d said to her. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened to his city, to himself, if she hadn’t been there. And Aloy had gotten under his skin far before he laid eyes on her. He’d heard the stories about the young Nora who could tame machines. He’d heard about the way she stood on the mountain and fought off her would be killers. Then he’d seen her, talked to her. She was beautiful, compassionate, driven and feisty. Everything about her made Avad want her even more. 

“Your Luminance, the Vanguard have returned.” Maraud approached him, resting his arms on the balcony railing and sharing in the view of the city. Clouds were beginning to darken the sky and rain was sure to come soon. 

It wasn’t the city, or the weather, that held his attention, but the horizon. He continued to look for her Broadhead cresting the hillside. He scanned the crowds for a glimpse of her copper hair. 

“And you should know, there was quite a ruckus over at the quarry.” Maraud smiled, but Avad couldn’t read the look in his advisor’s eyes. He was trying to convey more than his words, but he didn’t know why this was a concern for him. The men at the quarry were always getting themselves hurt, due to the fact that they used blaze to blast holes into the ground. 

At his confused look, Maraud continued. “Someone was injured taking down a huge machine, but she seems to be recovering quite well. In fact, she’s already left the hospital.” He gestured toward the temple.

Avad’s heart leapt as his eyes landed on Aloy. How had he missed her? Maraud said she was injured, but she seemed to be getting around just fine, even from this distance he could see her animatedly tossing her arms in the air. She seemed to be arguing with the Oseram she was speaking to. 

“Don’t be too upset with the city guard for not telling you. She’s been avoiding them. And we both know, those lunkheads aren’t going to spot her if she doesn’t want them to.”

Almost as if to prove Maraud’s point, she turned, leaving the Oseram shaking his head and tossing his hands in the air, and vaulted over the edge of the landing just as a few of the guards rounded the corner. He had thought he would see her emerge from the shadows, but she never reappeared. He sighed. She was most certainly avoiding him. Why else would she try so intently to avoid notice?

He pounded his fist into the railing, realizing too late how stupid it was. Pain shot through his wrist and into his shoulder. “Fuck.” He muttered a little too loudly.

Maraud shot him a look that told him he was not happy with the utterance. He had schooled him well enough that he thought he’d ensured Avad wouldn’t slip into profanities so easily. But when it came to Aloy, he seemed to lose all superiority. During their first conversation, he’d nearly said something about Oseram liquor being strong enough to knock Erend on his ass, but he’d stopped himself. And when he’d heard Aloy crying he hadn’t thought twice about consoling her, no matter how it may look to anyone who saw them. With her, he was simply a man, and a man who hoped to one day have her affection. 

Avad shook the pain from his wrist. “You said the Vanguard had returned?”

“Yes, Erend and his men got here not too long ago. He wanted to come straight here but I sent him home, told him to rest up and report in tomorrow morning.”

Avad nodded his agreement to this. “I think I’ll go check on him.”

 

He kept his eyes scanning his surroundings but he didn’t see Aloy at all on his way to Erend’s house. For all he knew, she could have left the city already. Of course, with his guard at his back, he was quite easy to spot. He’d removed his headdress and many of the adornments that marked him as the Sun-King, but there was no denying the people knew who he was. Many of the nobles gave slight bows as he passed and the city’s workers cleared the path as he approached. 

He rapped his knuckles on Erend’s door, requesting permission to enter. 

“It’s open.” 

Avad pushed the door open and was surprised to find Erend’s living room in complete disarray. There was scattered debris littering a majority of the floor, blaze canisters on his kitchen counter, machine parts stacked in a corner, and ridge-wood shafts on the table, some falling into the floor and some balancing precariously over the edge. He had been in Erend’s house a few times and didn’t remember it ever looking like this. 

He was about to ask what natural disaster had swept through when he realized Erend was sitting on the couch holding the remnants of a bow. Aloy’s bow. All of the pieces began to fall into place. She hadn’t needed a place to stay because she was staying here, and by the looks of it, she had planned to be here for a while. He began to see her everywhere he looked now. The beads she wore in her hair, the Nora leathers folded next to the couch. His heart sank. Maybe it wasn’t him she was avoiding after all. 

And the bow. That was what had driven her into his arms. What had Erend done?

Erend noticed that Avad was staring at the bow and tears sprung to his eyes. “I thought she would come back. It’s the same as when I left.”

“And here I thought her absence was my fault,” Avad joked, trying to lighten the mood. He took a seat next to Erend and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll be back, maybe sooner than you think.”

Erend dropped the bow and brought his hands up to his face, sighing. “No, she won’t. I told her I didn’t want to be with her. I did this.” He held up the bow as if Avad hadn’t seen it yet. 

“What happened,” Avad asked, wanting to know if he had broken the bow or her heart first. Aloy had been vague the night she came to him, and he now understood why. She hadn’t wanted to implicate Erend as the bad guy, the cause of her pain.

He gave a humorless laugh, tossing his hands in the air, causing them to fall back on his knees with a slap. “I have no idea. I was too drunk to remember.”

“Erend, I’m sure…”

“No. She’s gone. I made sure of that. I was so messed up over Ersa’s death that for days after I made nothing but bad decision after bad decision. At first, I didn’t want her to see me turn into a blubbering mess so I sent her back to the city. Then when I finally got back and should have come straight home, I went on a bender. I drank until I couldn’t see straight. Then, I woke up to this.” He gestured to the room and lifted the bow again. 

“And that’s not all,” he continued, “After everything went down with Dervahl, I realized she was too good for me. I knew she deserved more than I could give her and I told her so. I told her we couldn’t be together. And then I walked away. I just left. I didn’t want her to talk me out of it.”

Avad didn’t know if he should tell Erend that Aloy was in fact in Meridian. He hadn’t seen her since she had dodged the guards earlier, and he didn’t want to get to poor man’s hopes up. Would it make him feel better or worse to know she had been in the city and not stopped by?

“What if she did come back?” Avad was aware he could lose any chance he had with Aloy by pursuing this, but she was obviously with Erend long before he had fell for her. If she wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with her, he couldn’t stand in the way of that. 

Erend shook his head. “No. She deserves better.” He ran his hands over his face and through his Mohawk. Then he slapped his cheeks.

Avad didn’t know what to make of that. Erend obviously missed her, had hoped she would come back, but didn’t want to be with her? “You’re a good man, Erend. I’m sure she sees that.” Why? Why was he helping him? He was positive he wanted Aloy just as much as Erend did. 

Erend grunted. “Right. Well, I am going to the tavern. I have one more day before I have to be a responsible adult, so tonight I will be as irresponsible as possible.”

“Erend, wait…”

Erend waved him off and headed for the door. “Nope. I’m done with this conversation. See you in the morning.” 

 

Avad wandered the street for the better part of the day. He knew he was searching for her, but he kept making excuses to not turn back to the palace. He went down to the Maizelands under the guise of checking on the crops. He went to the temple, which only served to be problematic in moving on. He went down to the bakery Aloy favored and ordered a sticky bun and coffee. He knew it would be what she would order and he thought he might entice her out of hiding if he had it sitting in front of him. 

The sun was setting and it was beginning to rain. Finally, he gave up and headed back to the palace. To say he was disappointed that he hadn’t found her, or she hadn’t come to him, was an understatement. He knew he had scared her with his proposal the day she left, but he had truly hoped she would consider it. He knew he was being selfish in wanting her close. He knew she was searching for her own answers but he missed her when she was gone. 

He rounded the corner, down the street from Erend’s house and his heart nearly jumped from his chest. She was standing there staring down the road in front of her. He knew where she was looking. He knew she had her eyes on Erend’s front door. 

He was a fool. He knew it before his feet moved toward her. He knew it when the words left his mouth. “He misses you.”

She jumped, her hand going to her throat. The gesture reminded him of the day she had caught him with Baniti. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That was not what he needed to be thinking about right now.

She gave a sad chuckle. “Yeah, is that why he went home with someone else?”

Now there was no doubt he should have told Erend she was in the city. He almost felt like this was his fault. If he would have just told him instead of beating around the bush he wouldn’t have gone out looking for a way to get her out of his head. 

“He’s hurting, Aloy. It’s only human nature to seek comfort in the arms of another.”

She nodded like she understood that. “Yeah, I guess I can’t fault him for that.” She gave him a guilty smile, and he returned it, knowing she had done the same thing after their fight. 

“Besides, I was kind of hiding from him. It’s my fault. I didn’t want to face him after… Well, he told me he didn’t deserve me. I don’t really understand it. I know we fought, but is that enough to walk away from someone? I thought I meant more to him than that. Maybe I just wanted to mean more than I do.” She lifted her hand and tugged at one of her braids. Her eyes closed and she shifted on her feet.

Avad could see the pain of it etched on her face. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her pain away, to hold her and let her know that he was there for her. He settled for taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

The heavens chose that moment to release their downpour. Aloy groaned, but turned her face to the onslaught, letting the water pour over her. She lifted her free hand. “Well, this is fitting.”

With her hand still in his, he tugged her into the nearest alcove to find reprieve from the storm. His hair and his pants were already soaked. He ran his fingers through his curls, flinging tiny droplets at Aloy. She giggled as the water sprayed her face.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to do that.” But he was tempted to do it again, just to hear her laugh. 

She sighed and leaned against the wall. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back to rest against the stone. He noticed she had a bruise on her neck, and remembered that she had been injured only hours ago. 

“I heard about your fight at the quarry. Do you want to come back to the palace and use the baths again? Might help with the soreness.”

She opened her eyes and lifted an eyebrow. He realized his mistake too late. 

He flushed thinking again of Aloy watching as he was being pleasured. His mind was spinning, trying not to think about that, wanting to tell her that wasn’t what he meant. He couldn’t seem to find the words, his throat tightening under her withering gaze. Had he made her mad? Was she thinking he was trying to sleep with her? He couldn’t deny he wanted to, but she obviously cared for Erend. To his surprise, she took his hand back into hers, pulling him out of the alcove and began jogging toward the palace.

 

They were both back in Avad’s bedchamber, both completely soaked. Avad’s white silk trousers clung to his skin and Aloy’s leathers dripped along the marble floor. 

“I’m going to head into the baths. I’m getting cold.” She had her arms wrapped around her middle and he could see her jaw beginning to shiver. 

He nodded, running his hands over his own arms. He was feeling the chill in the air as well. 

Again she took his hand. “Come on. You’re freezing, too.”

“Aloy,” he hadn’t meant her name to come out as a breathless whisper, but he was getting cold and now that she was pulling him into the bathhouse the air was quickly being pulled from his lungs.

Inside, the air was already warmed from the steam coming from the pools. But it didn't match the heat that was rising inside of him as Aloy worked the buckles of her skirt and kicked off her sandals. Avad didn’t look away this time, instead, he watched as each piece of her armor was removed. He knew this wasn't a show for his benefit, but he wanted it to be. He wanted to think that she was doing this to entice him. He was finding it hard to swallow, his mouth suddenly very dry. 

When she finished undressing, she turned to him and frowned when she noticed he was still clothed. Then she shrugged and stepped into the pool. 

Avad began to feel extremely silly, just standing there watching her, so he sighed, closed his eyes and gathered himself. He undid the sash at his waist, thinking this was definitely a bad idea. With both of them naked, there would be no way he would be able to hide his arousal, and no way to stop himself if Aloy decided she did want him.

He slid into the water with Aloy watching his every move. She didn’t point out the fact that he was hard, in fact, her eyes only landed on his arousal for a moment. She seemed to be more interested in watching the way his body moved. He didn’t know if he liked that more or less. It seemed like she was sizing him up. For the first time, she made him feel like she was a huntress and he her prey. Maybe it was just her way. She was indeed a huntress. It made him even more nervous, and slightly unsure of what was to come between them. 

“You are very fit for someone who sits on a throne all day.” 

He was taken aback by her statement. Was that why she was looking at him the way she was? “I’ve trained my whole life with the sword. My life has been threatened more times than I can count, do you think I would let that training fall by the wayside?”

She nodded as if he’d answered some question for her. Then she sank below the water, immersing herself in the welcoming heat. 

He didn’t know how to do this, how to have such casual conversation with her while they were both naked, and while she was examining every inch of him. He fought the urge to jump from the pool while she was under the water. 

When she emerged, her back was to him and she swam her way to the other side of the pool, crossing her arms and placing them on the marble lip, resting her head on top of them. She kicked her legs, just like she had the last time and he was given bobbing glimpses of her round bottom as it crested and then fell below the water. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted her. The ache in his groin wasn’t going to go away while they were naked together. This was his chance and he wasn’t going to squander it. 

He made his way to her and tentatively ran his fingers down her back. Her skin was smooth like Carja silk. She shivered and moaned but she didn’t move from her position on the ledge, she didn’t look at him or turn to face him in any way. He tried again, gliding his palm up her thigh, her waist. He pressed his need into her hip. Again she moaned but didn’t move. Finally, he slid his arms around her and pulled her from the ledge. His cock now caught in the crease of her cheeks. She shifted then, giving him a gentle stroke, and when he groaned, she continued the movement. 

He brought them both to standing and slid her hair over one shoulder. His tongue and lips slid over her neck and shoulder, as he slid his hands up her belly to cup her breasts. She tossed her head back, leaning into him and exposing her neck to more of his tender kisses. He let his hands explore her body, wanting to touch every inch of her. 

She surprised him when she pulled away and lifted herself slightly to line his cock up with her opening. 

“Aloy, wait. Not here.” He took her hand and led her from the pool, grabbing a towel to dry them both off before going back to his bedchamber. 

He led her to the bed and she climbed up, stopping when she was on her hands and knees in front of him. He ran his hands over her smooth cheeks and her hips before climbing onto the bed with her. He lay down on his side and pat the bed, bidding her to lie next to him. 

When she was on her back, he let his hands explore her body once again, and for the first time, he kissed her lips. The kiss was soft but passionate. He cupped her face, deepening the kiss, then let go so he could roll her nipple between his fingers. 

She bucked and sucked in a breath, turning her eyes to watch his hands on her body. He brought his lips to the hardened peak and sucked gently pulling and licking. She moaned everytime his tongue flicked the hardened tip. He slid his hand down her belly, to her mound and she squirmed when his fingers slid across her ribs. His lips followed the trail, placing kisses over her belly as he rubbed her sensitive nub causing her to buck again. 

Avad had no idea her body would be so responsive to his touch and it was driving him mad. All of his want and need was building to a height he had never felt. When he slid his fingers into her, she moaned so loudly he thought he may lose himself then. He placed his forehead on her breast, closing his eyes, and trying to focus on something other than her writhing body. 

He had himself nearly under control when Aloy shifted, rolling him onto his back and forcing his fingers from her body. She gripped his cock and slid her mouth over his shaft. He tried to think of machines, books, anything but her lips sealed over him, her tongue wrapping around him. He groaned loudly when she sank nearly to his base. The warmth of her mouth, the gliding caress of her tongue was almost more than he could handle. He let her continue for a minute but he wanted to be inside of her. He wanted her legs wrapped around him. 

He gripped her hair, stopping her movement and pulled gently bringing her lips back to his. Her tongue darted between his lips and he opened eagerly rolling his tongue over hers. Her breasts skimmed his chest as she deepened the kiss. Sun and shadow, how he wanted her. Needed her. He gripped her waist and flipped her onto her back with his body over hers. 

When he slid into her and both of them let out a moan. Her hands lifted to his shoulders, her fingers stroked gently across the expanse of his back. Her touch was so soft, something he hadn't expected from her. He had thought sex with her would come with wild passion, nails and teeth. But she seemed content to simply hold him, to have him close. He pumped slowly wanting to savor every moment, every stroke. He slid his hand under the small of her back, pulling her closer as he pushed into her. 

As her orgasm hit her, her body left the bed, forcing him deeper inside of her and it was all he could do to pull out in time. He stroked himself and his release landed on her stomach. He remained over her for a few moments as he tried to regain his breath. 

When his eyes could focus again, he looked down to see Aloy smiling. He noticed then that her eyes were not green, but a multitude of colors, green, gold and even little flecks of blue. They were unlike anything he'd seen before. It made his heart constrict and he returned the smile. 

He didn't want to move. She had yet to release him and he didn't want her to let go. He wanted to stay wrapped up in her arms forever, but if he did, there would be a hell of a mess to clean up in the morning and they would be rolling around in the remnants of their love-making. Reluctantly he sat up and grabbed the towel from the floor and handed it to her so she could clean herself up. Then climbed back into bed. 

He fell asleep with Aloy’s head on his chest and her arm wrapped around his body.


	18. Ultimatum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend knows he screwed up, yet again, but he's about to see the consequences of his actions, in full, for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for this chapter:
> 
> She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

For a moment, Erend felt nothing but pure bliss as a feminine arm wrapped itself around his body. He smiled and stretched, about to kiss the woman lying next to him. For a moment he thought she had returned to him and slid into his bed without a thought and simply wanting to be with him. 

“Good morning,” the sleepy voice said next to him. 

Fuck.

It wasn’t her.

He groaned. He didn’t even want to look at whoever was there. It wasn’t her. It wasn’t Aloy. 

He rolled to his side of the bed, throwing his legs over and coming to his feet. He grabbed a pair of trousers and slid them on. He searched the room for a clean tunic and not finding one, he settled for the least dirty. 

“What’s the rush, big guy? Come back to bed and we can have another go.” The woman purred. 

Erend ground his teeth, his jaw aching with the pressure. Finally, he turned to look at whoever he had slept with last night. She was a pretty Oseram. Her body was thick, her hair and eyes dark. She was the exact opposite of the woman he wanted to see. He knew his drunken mind was probably looking for that, something to take his mind off of the fiery redhead. But now that he was sober, it disgusted him to know he’d been with anyone but her. 

“I have to get to work.” He looked away from her, acting as if he were looking for the rest of his armor, but really wanting to roll her out of the bed and yell at her for being in Aloy’s place. He knew it was stupid to feel this way. He knew it wouldn’t make sense to the woman, and he wasn’t really mad at her.

“I’m sure you could be a little late, Captain. Come on.” She threw the covers off of her body. Spreading her legs and rubbing her mound, she tried to entice him back to her side. She writhed on the bed, moaning, but she was only putting on a show. 

It served to remind him that Aloy was truly that responsive to his touch. 

He found the woman’s belongings and tossed them at her, covering her. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. Time for you to go.”

She huffed, offended by his callous gesture. “Is this about the Nora girl? You should be with an Oseram woman. That little thing couldn’t possibly please you like one of your own. We know what our men like.”

Anger roiled with his belly. His fists balled at his sides and it took everything within him not to throw one into the stone wall. “Get out. Now!”

She didn’t seem to understand just how angry he was becoming because she spread her legs again. “You can’t tell me that fucking her is as sweet as having all of this wrapped around you.”

He walked up to the bed and she reached for him. He pulled away but bent down only inches from her face. He could see her desire rising as his mouth closed the distance. “If you don’t get out now, I will throw you naked into the streets.”

 

When the woman finally got the hint and left, he stripped the bed. He didn’t want any reminder of what he’d done. He knew he would be getting rid of Aloy’s scent along with the other woman’s, but he could live with that, as long as there was no sign of what had happened left in his house. He didn’t know why he felt he had cheated on Aloy. They weren’t together. 

He really needed to pull himself together, but her absence in his life only made things so much worse. He had thought he was saving her from himself, from his self-destructive nature, but in doing so, he was allowing himself to fall deeper into his own self-loathing. He needed her. It was selfish, he knew, but if he was going to make it through this, he wanted her at his side to help him become the man she thought he was. 

The living room was still in a state of disarray. Her stuff was spread out everywhere. He knew he’d eventually have to clean it all up, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to admit to himself she wouldn’t come back. If he left everything the way it was, it was almost like she was still there. He picked up one of the turquoise beads and rolled it around in his fingers before tucking it into his pocket. 

Outside, the stone path to the palace was soaked even though it had quit raining almost as soon as it had started. Erend kicked his foot through the tiny puddles spreading the water that had gathered into the stone. He knew he was delaying, slowing his pace to Avad. He had promised himself that last night would be the last time he gave into drink. He wanted to live up to his sister’s demand that he grow up. She had told him to be there for Avad. He knew Ersa cared for her king beyond what was necessary for the Captain of the Vanguard. He knew they had shared a special bond. Avad was a good man, kind, generous and thoughtful; it was no surprise that she would care for him. 

Now, he was going to devote himself to Avad’s cause. Erend wanted the peace he promised. He needed the steady knowledge that he would be serving something bigger than himself. The threat of the Shadow Carja still loomed, so he knew his position wouldn’t be an easy one, and he hoped in the days to come that he would be able to show everyone that he would be, could be, worthy of his sister’s title.

Avad sat on one of his many couches. In front of him sat quite a feast, sticky buns, coffee, spiced ham and an assortment of fruit. Erend couldn’t help but think it wasteful to have so much food laid out for one man, but the servants always brought too much. It had been two years and still, they feared being dismissed for the smallest slights. Avad had proven he wasn’t that trivial, but old habits die hard, as they say.

Avad was smiling, talking animatedly with Maraud. He was in high spirits and Erend couldn’t help but smile as he approached. Avad’s easy laughter was infectious. How someone who had been through so much in the last few days could be so happy, he didn’t understand. But Avad had always smiled through his pain. No matter what he was going through, he didn’t want it to spread to anyone else. 

The smile faltered for a moment when Avad caught sight of him. Erend wondered if he was still worried about him. It had surprised Erend that Avad had taken the time to check on him personally. He hadn’t wanted anyone to see the remnants of his living space, but it seemed Avad already knew something about what happened. It shouldn’t surprise him that Aloy would have confided in him. She had few friends. 

“Erend. I wasn’t expecting you until later.”

There was a hint of nervous laughter in Avad’s voice that Erend found a little curious, but he wrote it off and took a seat. “Let’s just say, I had a rude awakening and couldn’t leave my house quick enough.”

“Oh, I see,” Avad said. 

Erend noticed that his eyes kept shifting to the palace doors as if he was expecting someone to come through them at any moment. Or, possibly, hoping they wouldn’t. He decided to write it off. He didn’t care about Avad’s sexual endeavors, or whatever else he might be worried about Erend seeing. “I expect the cleanup from Dervahl’s attack has been completed by now.”

“Ahh, yes. The Vanguard who stayed behind had a hand in that. They are quite efficient.” 

Erend nodded, knowing his men would have poured all of their energy into repairing the damage. The Vanguard had once been under Dervahl’s command. They would feel some responsibility for his actions. Many of the Oseram in Meridian already felt a debt to Avad. They had escaped their pasts and he was willing to forgive so many of their slights. He even understood why many of them disliked him. Yet, his kind and compassionate nature always brought more and more to his side.

“So, what is next for the Vanguard? I assume we need to evaluate the threat from the West.”

“Yes, we do need to remain focused on the Shadow Carja. Maraud has had little word from his people there. He is afraid many of them have been rooted out and killed.” 

Again, Avad’s eyes shifted to the doors. 

Erend was beginning to feel slightly unwelcome. As if Avad wanted to leave his side and go back to whoever had his attention on the other side of the doors. But Erend needed to be able to give his Vanguard their orders, needed to give them some direction. He knew little of Ersa’s role, other than what had been passed to him. He wanted to make sure he was doing a competent job. That would only come with Avad’s orders being followed.

Avad grew quiet, the conversation stalling to an uncomfortable silence between them. He seemed to struggle with what to say next. Erend could tell the Sun-King had something on his mind, something he wanted to say.

Just then the doors Avad had been eyeing burst open. “Avad, where are my…” the words died on her lips as her eyes fell on Erend.

She was in nothing but a silk tunic. Her legs and feet bare. She eyed him for only a moment before turning around and slamming the door behind her. 

Now, Erend knew what had Avad so nervous. He had seen the bite mark on her neck. It was obvious what had happened between them. He turned back to his king to see his elbows on his knees, hands covering his face. 

Manic laughter burst from Erend. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This was just fucking perfect. He had told her to find someone better, but he hadn’t expected this. “Well, I did tell her she should find someone who would treat her like a queen. I just didn’t expect her to take me quite so literally.”

“Erend, I…”

“No, no… It’s okay. I should have seen this coming. You two are forged from the same steel. I knew she was too good for me from the beginning.” His heart may have shattered into a million pieces, but he meant that. 

He rose to leave, a numbness settling into his body. He couldn’t even think anymore. He had no idea where he was going or what he was doing. He just knew he had to leave. 

Avad’s hand on his shoulder kept his feet from taking the stairs down into the hell he knew would be awaiting him when all of this became real.

“Erend…” he paused, and it was obvious he was having an internal debate. His eyes grew sad, and Erend knew another apology was coming. 

“She loves you.”

Well, that was not what he expected. 

“And that’s why she’s here, walking out onto your balcony half-naked.”

“Actually, yes.”

Erend didn’t know how to respond to that. He couldn’t fathom how any of this had to do with the fact that Aloy loved him. 

Avad gestured for him to return to his seat and Erend decided it couldn’t hurt to hear him out. 

“I found her last night standing outside your door. She wanted to see you, wanted to come inside but she knew you were in there with someone else. I had seen her earlier that day, but by the time I came to your house, I could only assume she’d left because I saw no other sign of her. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if she didn’t intend to see you. She had been dodging the guards.”

Avad paused for a moment, letting his words sink in.

“And how did this lead to her in your clothes, in your bed?”

Avad sighed, “It was my fault. She made no move on me. I told her she could stay here. The downpour hit as we were standing in the street and we both got soaked. We came back and were freezing, so she pulled me into the baths. She only wanted us to both be warm. I took it upon myself to take advantage of the situation. It was my fault.”

Erend didn’t know what to feel. He was angry, yes, but he found it difficult to want to lash out at Avad when he did what any man would do in his place. How could anyone deny Aloy? He was aware that she probably had no motivation to get Avad naked, and even if she did, nudity didn’t mean the same thing to her as it did to most other people. He knew from experience.

“I think she only allowed it to continue because she was hurting and wanted comfort. She’d just seen you do the same thing.”

Erend now felt just as guilty as Avad seemed to. All of this was his fault. He’d screwed up so badly, he’d screwed himself. He’d let Aloy and Avad get hurt in the process. He really knew how to fuck up everything around him. 

“You should go to her. She really does love you, I see that now. But Erend, I am only going to say this once. I love her, too. I am doing this for her. I want her to be happy. If you do anything like this again, I will be there, just as I was last night. I will pick up the pieces of her heart and give her everything she deserves if you don’t.”

Avad walked away then and Erend was left with two choices, love her and pray he didn’t screw it up or walk away, yet again, and risk her falling for a man far better than himself.


	19. All's Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend had a decision to make, and now it's Aloy's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration:
> 
> Cold - Crossfade

Aloy’s morning had started on such a good note; she didn’t think anything could ruin it. Avad’s gentle fingers stroked her back as he placed sweet kisses along her shoulder. Being with him was so much different than being with Erend or Nil. She was so used to a little bit of pain with the pleasure of sex. There was no pain last night and none this morning. She was used to demanding hands, forceful pressures, and hungry mouths. Avad’s touch demanded nothing but asked. He forced nothing but coaxed. His kiss wasn’t devouring, but passionate. Sex with him was an exploration, an adventure to be mapped and outlined.

He had been so gentle with her that he had lulled her back to sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept past daybreak. Avad’s massive, plush bed didn’t help. The bed itself held her in its embrace, not wanting to let her go. She was tempted to sleep the day away; give her body the rest it so desperately needed. She’d been going nonstop since the day of the Proving. What could one day hurt?

Even as she thought the idea appealing, she knew it wouldn’t satisfy her to lie about all day. She would grow restless far before she had the time to enjoy a self-imposed day off. Besides, the Grave Hoard awaited and she doubted Sylens would stay quiet if she took too long getting to where he needed her to be. And she wanted answers just as badly as he did. 

She rolled out of bed with a groan. Avad wasn’t going to be happy that she had come back, only to leave again, but if he wanted to be with her, he’d just have to get used to it. She wasn’t going to change her plans for him. She’d told him so when she left the first time. They hadn’t discussed his earlier proposal. They barely even spoke once they returned to the palace. She hoped he would understand.

A small smile lifted her lips. Of course, he would understand. That was his way. However, her smile faltered as she searched the room for her equipment. It was gone. She went into the baths, thinking she must have left her leathers there. That wouldn’t be good. The steam could ruin them. But they weren’t there either. 

Aloy growled, “Avad, what have you done with my things? You can’t keep me here by taking my clothes.”

Her search of the room led her to a handwritten note and one of Avad’s silk shirts. It read, Meet me on the balcony. I have breakfast waiting. 

Her cheeks flushed with his thoughtfulness. He was so incredibly sweet. It didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t find her armor, but it almost made up for it. She slipped the shirt over her head, and just like before it fits like a loose gown. 

She made her way to the balcony. She wanted to sit and enjoy his company, but she wanted to make sure he knew she wasn’t happy about her things being gone. She wanted him to know she saw through his ploy. He wasn’t going to hold her captive here. 

She pushed open the double doors, storming through like a Trampler. “Avad, where are my…” 

Erend sat across from Avad. This she hadn’t been prepared for. She should have known the Captain would return to his duties at his King’s side, but it didn’t even cross her mind that he would be there to see her in Avad’s clothes, coming from Avad’s bedroom. Her heart constricted. This was bad. 

No, she wasn’t going to feel sorry. She wasn’t going to apologize or make excuses. He had moved on and he couldn’t fault her for doing the same. He had told her to find someone better, and while she didn’t consider Avad better than Erend, Avad was kind, sweet, gentle. He was the opposite of Erend in almost every way. 

She didn’t want to deal with this right now. She had been so happy just a few minutes ago. She was not going to allow her heartbreak to creep in and destroy her good mood, or her heart. This was his doing. If only he had let her comfort him after Ersa. If only he had come home instead of to the tavern. If only he had let her speak, instead of walking away from her. So many, ‘if only's’. 

She turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her. If Avad wanted to have breakfast with her, he was more than welcome to bring it back to his room. She was not going to sit out there with the two of them. She didn’t have the patience to deal with whatever fallout would occur between the two and her own emotions would not be held back from that conversation. 

She sank back onto the bed. Maybe she should have just stayed under the covers and slept the day away. She scooted up to the pillows and pulled the blankets over her, ready to give in to the comfort of Avad’s bed and the thick blanket. She pulled one pillow over her face to hide the incoming rays of light, but the door opened and she groaned. She hadn’t thought Avad would be so close behind her.

She sat up, but it wasn’t Avad at the door. Baniti stood holding her leathers and her bow. “My lady.” She gave a slight bow. “His Luminance requested that your equipment be cleaned and retreated since it was left in the steam of the baths. Also, there are new silks, since yours were ruined.”

Aloy smiled. She had been ready to berate Avad for taking her things, but he was only making sure she still had the best equipment she could afford. She remembered how heartbroken he’d been for her when she told him about her bow. He was trying to prevent a repeat of that incident. He knew what her bow, her armor meant to her. They were her only possessions and they were her livelihood. They were her only protection against the darkness of this world. 

“Thank you, Baniti.” 

Baniti smiled and gave another slight bow as she handed her the armor and bow. 

Aloy stripped off the silk tunic and slipped into her leggings and silk undershirt. Already, she felt better. She hadn’t realized how uncomfortable she felt in Avad’s clothing. It made sense. The first time she’d worn his clothes, she’d cried and now it was tainted by the fact that Erend had noticed and clearly hadn’t approved. But what did she care about his approval?

The door opened again as she was braiding her hair, and she didn’t turn to look at the newest intruder, thinking it was probably Avad. But she nearly dropped the beads in her hand when he spoke.

“Aloy,” her name on his lips came out as a question.

At first, she didn’t turn, she felt the sudden urge to run. It was silly, but her heart had begun to gallop as hard as any Strider she’d mounted. 

“Can we talk, please?”

Please? Fuck, please. Why was that one word so hard to ignore? It was just a word. Yet, it had the desired effect. She turned to face him, sighing. 

If she was quick about it, she could still make it past him and through the door. He was too slow to stop her. She considered it for a moment. 

“Aloy, I’m sorry.”

She wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. Was it for the girl last night? Was it for rejecting her? Was it for his behavior after Ersa? She didn’t know so she stayed silent.

Erend’s eyes scanned the bedroom, landing on the still unmade bed. Aloy knew what he was thinking. He had to know she’d slept with Avad. If it wasn’t obvious by her exit from the room dressed in his clothes earlier, it was now. 

“Erend, what do you want?” She knew her words came out hard, nearly unfeeling, but she didn’t have the patience to figure him out right now. He was standing in Avad’s room, in the remnants of their lovemaking, and apologizing. He wanted to talk, but he wasn’t really saying anything. She was beginning to feel a pressure building in her skull. 

He took another look around the room before approaching her. “Aloy, I am sorry that I pushed you away. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been good at relationships. I’ve never wanted someone at my side. I didn’t handle any of this well.”

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh. She knew he was pouring his heart out to her, but the irony of his words hit her hard. 

Erend was taken aback by the outburst. “How is this funny?”

“Erend, I have no idea how relationships work. I have never had anyone in my life, other than Rost. I’m going on gut instinct here. I do what’s in my heart. I don’t hide anything. I try to be as true to myself as possible, but I don’t know what it’s like to be loved. Is it random trysts with those you care about? Is it living with someone who doesn’t really want you there when it matters? Is it finding someone who compliments you in every way, or is it finding your counterpoint in another? Is it caring about them so deeply you’d do anything for them? Is it someone willing to comfort you even though it hurts them to do so?” She felt like she could continue this tirade for hours. She had so many unanswered questions as far as men were concerned. 

“I’m not sure anyone knows the answers to those questions. But please don’t ever say you don’t know what it’s like to be loved. You have so many people who love you. Many in this city see you as their savior. Avad loves you. I love you.” 

Aloy’s heart stopped beating, she was sure of it. He loved her. She had waited her entire life to hear those words. Yet, in this moment they left her feeling confused, angry and heartsick. If he loved her why did he push her away? Why was he waiting until now to tell her? 

Then, again, she was sure she’d loved him since the day she met him. Every time she saw him her heart sped, her mind fogged slightly. She had felt like they were meant to be together, to see each other through this mess life had thrown at them. Then, he became part of the mess. He had been callous and cruel. He had rejected her like everyone else. But that didn’t keep him from her thoughts. That didn’t stop her from returning to him last night. 

“Erend, I have wanted to be with you from the moment I met you. But I have been rejected enough in my life. I don’t want to go through that again. What’s to stop you from repeating the other night? How do I know that if I walk away from this, from Avad, that I’ve made the right decision?” 

Erend stroked his hand through his Mohawk and began pacing the room. “I can’t answer that for you, Aloy.” 

Aloy sat back and watched as Erend paced. He was obviously trying to come up with something to say to her. She could see his mouth moving, even though no words were coming out. 

Finally, he stopped and crouched down in front of her, taking her hands. “Last night I made myself, Ersa and you a promise. I’m going to straighten up, get my life on a better track. I know it doesn’t look that way right now, but I am going to do better, be better. And if you’re willing, I want you to help me see this through. I need your strength, your confidence in me.”

Aloy didn’t have to think about her answer. She knew what she felt for the man in front of her, and she knew what she had left to do for herself. “I would like to be that person for you, but I can’t. I have my own road to follow, and it will take me far from Meridian. If you feel the need to change, do it for yourself. If you want a better life, go for it. But I won’t be here to hold your hand through it. I can only promise to see this through to the best of my abilities. If you can accept that, then I will not pursue anything further with Avad. When I come back to Meridian, I will come home to you.”

Erend gave her a pleased half smile. It hadn’t been the answer he was looking for but it was something. “I would be lucky just to have another minute of your time.”

Aloy smiled, too. “I’ll always have a minute for you. Maybe even two.”


	20. The Grave Hoard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy's feelings are all a tangled mess. She knows she loves Erend, but does that mean she doesn't love the other two men in her life? She had made a promise, but was she fooling herself into thinking she could fulfill it?
> 
> #Niloy

“Avad loves you. I love you.” That was what Erend said. It rang in her ears. She had never heard those words before. Now, there were two people who loved her? She’d wanted a place to belong for so long. Rost had told her not to grow attached to him. He knew she would one day leave him and that it would only cause problems once she became part of the tribe. He had never said the words, but she knew in her heart he had loved her. 

Aloy sent Erend out of the bedchamber, telling him she needed to finish getting ready and that she needed to speak with Avad before she left. He looked slightly disappointed. Perhaps he thought their reunion should have been longer, or that she would want to run off with him somewhere. But she had yet to tell Avad anything about the Eclipse, and she wanted to make sure he was okay. 

Erend told her that Avad had sent him into the bedchamber. He said he gave his blessing for them to be together, but Aloy had a feeling it wasn’t so simple. She didn’t think Avad would sleep with her and then toss her aside. He didn’t seem the type. So what would make him tell Erend that he should be with her? 

Avad loves you.

She couldn’t find him. He wasn’t on the balcony, or on his throne, and she had no idea where else to look. It seemed that now, he was the one avoiding her. She couldn’t blame him. If what Erend had said was true, he was probably upset. She hated that he could be somewhere in pain and it was likely her fault. If she would have just left when she saw Erend with the other woman, instead of following them to his house. If she wouldn’t have let Avad’s sweet smile and gentle gestures coax her into another stay at the palace. 

She was growing tired of the “if’s”. It was giving her a headache. But one ‘if’ loomed much larger than the rest. If she truly loved Erend, why was she so concerned about Avad?

The answer was simple. She loved him, too. He had always treated her with respect, been kind and generous. He was a good man beyond measure and she hated seeing what Ersa’s passing had done to him. It wasn’t fair. He was everything a woman could want in a mate, yet when it came to love, he was always left behind. First with Ersa, now with her. She hated being that person and she’d even thought, on more than one occasion, that Ersa was a fool. 

Now she felt foolish. Erend was no doubt a good man, but he had his flaws. His drinking was a huge problem, and he lacked confidence in himself. He felt unworthy of her love and she could sense he felt unworthy of taking Ersa’s place over the Vanguard. But none of these things made her love the big buffoon any less. And she was sure Avad wasn’t perfect. She had yet to see anything that would make her believe so, but no one was perfect. 

And to add more confusion, there was Nil, always in the back of her mind. He sat waiting to pounce. Did she love him? She loved the idea of him, but they really hadn’t been given the chance to know each other. Yet, they were constantly drawn to each other. For a while, she had only thought of him as an outlet for her desires. He was always there when she needed that. Or, always there. He would wait for her to leave the city and then stick to her periphery, out of sight but never too far away. 

The last time they were together, she was sure he was claiming her. She knew he had placed his marks on her skin for everyone to see. Yet, no one knew they came from him. Avad had said nothing about them. Erend had said nothing about them. Had she been nervous about how they would react for no reason? Did they assume they had come off some fight? She didn’t know. 

She wished Erend would have been able to answer some of her questions. She really needed to find someone outside of the three men in her life to talk to about all of this, but they were the only friends she truly had. It wasn’t like she could go talk to Gera, though the Oseram was chatty enough. They had only a few encounters, and even though Aloy considered her a friend, she didn’t think they were close enough to begin discussing boys. She’d been able to talk to Rost about it on a few occasions, but it was an uncomfortable subject for both of them. 

She couldn’t sit around dwelling on any of this right now. She had a mission to accomplish. The Grave Hoard awaited.

 

The Eclipse. She should have known they would be there. Why wouldn’t they be? She had learned they were trying to use the old machines. It only made sense that they would be trying to discover all she was, as well. And she could only assume someone, maybe even Hades himself would be trying to find her ties to Elizabet Sobek. Maybe Hades could access the rooms that had given Sylens so much trouble. They were still so unsure of Hades reach and influence. 

The first room in the Grave Hoard gave Aloy a sense of how the place may have got its name. There were bodies littering the floor, most with still intact, yet decaying armor. All had recording devices on them. There had apparently been a battle here, but the recordings were so broken, it was hard to get an exact idea what had happened. One recording mentioned Dr. Sobek and Zero Dawn, but it wasn’t any new information, just a quip about her team finishing the project in time. 

“Sylens, are you getting this?” 

“What is it?” His frustrations clear in his voice. He doesn’t care what happened to the people she’d just found, only wanting to know what happened here.

“All these soldiers, they died here.”

“People die every day, Aloy.”

She didn’t know why she was trying to elicit some sympathy from the man. She just wanted someone to share in the grief she was feeling at the sight of so many fallen bodies. Enduring Victory, whatever that was, didn’t seem to endure at all. 

She did stumble upon a treasure trove of recordings and data that she decided to sift through at a later date. She knew Sylens wouldn’t approve of her dawdling about listening to every tidbit she picked up and she was tired of hearing his demands that she ignore everything that wasn’t important. For all she knew, this could be the last remnants of those soldier’s legacies. She wouldn’t abandon their final words or the things they felt important enough to record. These were tiny pieces of a lost civilization, Sobek’s people. She hoped it would give her a better idea of the woman’s time, of why Zero Dawn was needed, or of what Zero Dawn truly was. 

A little further in and the Eclipse presence made itself known. A large group of them had set up base within a cavernous room. Luckily, many of them were packing blaze tanks on their backs and Aloy was able to take advantage, exploding the packs with fire arrows and taking down many with very little effort. That left a few that she made quick work of with her hardpoint arrows and one corrupted Scrapper. It made a swipe at her, just before she was able to dose herself with an antidote and turned her stomach. After taking the beast out, she retched onto the floor. 

The sickness the corruption left behind was something she would never get used to. It made her head spin and her body ache. The antidote helped but it wasn’t always quick. It left her stumbling for a few minutes while it took effect. She dosed herself with a health potion to ensure any lingering effects would wear off before she came in contact with anyone else. 

After stumbling through more and more rooms, she came upon what looked like some kind of gathering place. There was a circular table surrounded by many metal chairs. In the center was one of the projection modules she’d seen a few times now. She pressed the marker for her hand and a globe popped up, floating in the air. 

“What is this,” she asked herself aloud.

Sylens answered, “Our world, Aloy. It is not flat as you thought.”

“Why would I think that? The shadow cast on the moon during an eclipse is curved.” Did he really think her so stupid that she couldn’t have figured that out for herself? The moon was a globe. The sun was a globe. It only stood to reason that the world on which they lived would be the same.

He seemed a bit taken aback by her statement, stammering that she should just move on. 

The globe seemed to show the advancement of the Faro robots. Their course of destruction and the time-frame mapped in real time over the projection itself. Maybe it was some way for the people who had gathered here to see what was happening in the world beyond this facility.

She continued onward. So many questions about the weapon Sobek had created running through her mind. What was project Enduring Victory? What was Zero Dawn? What happened that caused the Faro robots to turn on their makers?

Aloy was contemplating all of this as she opened the next door. A Metal Devil stood over the next chamber, surrounded by Eclipse. They were tinkering with the large machine. Were they trying to wake it? If not, what were they trying to accomplish? Did they want to strip it? 

“Look out below.” One of the soldiers yelled as a Deathbringer dropped from the metal carcass. 

Shit.

She scanned the room. There wasn’t much to help her in this enclosed space, but she found a rappel point. If she could drop down silently, maybe she could take down some of the soldiers before the Deathbringer noticed her. 

She was beginning to think her plan would go off without a hitch as she made her move on a fourth soldier, but as she leapt onto the soldiers back, the big war machine honed in on her location.

A blast of red streaked just past her periphery and slammed into the wall behind her, shaking the chamber and knocking her into the nearby crates. It gave her a small reprieve as she gathered her wits, shaking the impact from her limbs, but it wasn’t long before the blasts came straight at her, taking out her cover.

She rolled to the next set of crates, but the Deathbringer made quick work of them as well. This was going to be even more difficult than the first time. This machine was mobile and had the firepower to down anything in its path. She had to keep moving.

She alternated between her blast bombs and her hardpoint arrows, firing and moving, and switching to her spear, only when any remaining Eclipse got too close. She found a moment to lay some blast wire, but only a moment. She wasn’t sure how effective it would be, she knew it wouldn’t slow the war machine, but she also knew it couldn’t escape the damage it would cause. 

The battle continued like this for some time. Fire, dodge, roll, fire, blast bomb, blast wire, roll. It was tiring and by the time it was over, she spared only a moment to wish at some point the machine would have dropped a usable cannon, but she didn’t think she’d have been able to get close enough to utilize it, even if it did. 

With her health depleted, and with no health potions or medicine available, she was tempted to lie down in the aftermath of the battle and take a moment to collect herself, but she knew the Eclipse were still in the area. She knew if she were to be still for even a moment one may get the drop on her and then all of her efforts would be for nothing. She would have to wait to rest until she was far from this place, safe at a campsite or some nearby village.

She pressed on. The next chamber held another of the projectors and she placed her hand on the marker. A group of people surrounded another of the circular tables, with Sobek at the head. They began discussing Enduring Victory and Zero Dawn, but there wasn’t much information about either project, only that Enduring Victory would get many people killed and buy time for Zero Dawn’s completion. None at the table seemed to think any of this was a good idea, but possibly the only idea. Whatever Zero Dawn was, they knew it was a grim solution. 

At the end of the recording, Sobek mentioned a place called Orbital Launch Base in a place known then as Bryce, Utah. Aloy had no idea where Bryce, Utah was, but she knew that would be her next destination. She found a ladder that led her out of the facility and was happy to be breathing the fresh air of the mountains again. 

Sylens’ projection appeared, just as she was about to make her way back down the mountain and delivered the grim news. The Orbital Launch Base was directly under the Citadel at Sunfall. The capital of the Shadow Carja. The very people who were hunting for her. The people who wanted her dead. This couldn’t end well. She couldn’t walk into a fortress of soldiers where every person would know who she was. The call to arms would be immediate. She couldn’t risk walking into the one place she was sure to die. 

But Sylens had a solution, granted an almost as dangerous solution. Infiltrate the Eclipse’s main base of operations and shut down their focus network. It would stop any kill order given if the wrong people caught sight of her in Sunfall. 

Now, to get off the mountain. She saw only one way. She jumped, grabbing hold of the loose wires that ran the length of the Metal Devil. From this height, the rush of the wind passing her as she picked up speed jogged her adrenaline. Her blood pumped in her veins, pulsing with excitement as she dropped to the next cord that would land her on a nearby path. When her feet hit the ground she was almost tempted to find a way back to the top of the mountain to do it again. The adrenaline pushed her pain away, the aches of battle becoming a faint memory that drove her until she found a place to make camp.

 

Calloused fingers skimmed along her cheekbones, down her neck. They traced the blooming bruises on her ribs. She must have passed out the moment her head lolled onto her bedroll. She couldn’t remember a time when she had slept hard enough that anyone could have approached her and she not notice. Her body jerked awake, shooting pain along her ribcage and up her back. 

“Shh, little huntress. Shh.” Nil’s hands guided her back down to the bedroll.

Still a little bleary-eyed, and not quite thinking clearly, she closed her eyes, wanting to fall back asleep. Her body ached and she hadn’t made it to a village to find a healer or a merchant to find healing potions. She’d sat up a hasty camp, which she now could tell left her exposed, but her body wouldn’t allow much more. 

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes to find Nil crouched over her, staring at her. She was suddenly aware that she was vulnerable for the first time in front of him. He could kill her if he wanted to and she was powerless to stop him. While that realization should have had her sitting up, ready to fight for her life, she couldn’t stop the thrill that ran through her body, knowing for the first time she was truly in his hands. At his mercy. Did he have mercy?

“Ahh, there’s my little huntress. I knew if I waited long enough, she’d come peeking out. Now, tell me, what did you tangle with that could have laid a warrior like you out, making you vulnerable to anything that wandered by?” His tone was as light and playful as it had been the last time she’d seen him. 

She mumbled, “Deathbringer,” as she sat up, gently this time. Her side still protested, but she didn’t want to be in such a vulnerable position anymore. She didn’t like the look in Nil’s eyes. He was sizing her up, even as she lay beat and broken in front of him. Maybe because she lay beat and broken in front of him.

He allowed it this time, but his eyes followed the movement of her hand to her side. He reached into his pack and pulled out a health potion, handing it to her. “Drink,” he commanded. 

She didn’t like his tone, but she couldn’t deny she needed the potion. She had only a moment to wonder if he’d laced it with poison, before he pushed the bottle to her lips, demanding that she drink again. 

The effects of the liquid were immediate. She could feel the numbing qualities settling into the aches of her body. It allowed her to give her body a much-needed stretch. She had been crouched and rolling through much of the Grave Hoard and while she was used to that, the battle afterward had been enough to make her body protest the earlier mistreatment. Her joints cracked and popped. Her head rolled on her neck and her hand came up to massage the new ache away, but her hand was quickly replaced by Nil’s. 

He pressed his thumbs into the sore spots on each side, a firm pressure he spread over her shoulders and down her shoulder blades. His fingers splayed over her collarbone as he anchored himself and his movement, and as his thumbs moved his fingers caressed her skin. The rough calluses creating goose bumps along her arms. 

“You’ve many new bruises. It’s a shame they hide the ones I gave you,” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

“You’re branding marks, you mean. I’m not your property, Nil.”

“Of course not. A true hunter belongs only to themselves.”

What was that supposed to mean? Did he put those marks on her body just because he could? No, he was claiming her and they both knew it, whether he wanted to admit it or not. 

“Nil?”

“Yes, Huntress.”

She placed her hand over his to still his movement. “Do you love me?”

He laughed. “Love? I’m not sure I know what love is. I already told you, I’m not suggesting a Carja wedding.”

Again, Aloy felt his defenses go up. He was holding back, hiding something from her. “Then why the jealousy? Why mark me at all?”

“Jealousy? What makes you think I’m jealous? Maybe I just wanted to prove I could hurt you and that you’d let me.”

She could tell he was lying. She didn’t know how she knew, but something in him shifted. His voice grew uncertain and his body stiffened. She was reminded of a cornered animal. Was she cornering him by making him answer her? She didn’t care. She needed to know. She wanted answers and if no one was willing to give them, she would pry it out of someone, one way or another. “And that’s why you are sitting here taking care of me now?”

His hands left her body and he stood. Aloy could see that her words bothered him. He turned to her with a scowl. “I don’t know what I feel for you. Sometimes, I hate you. I hate that you are better with a bow. I hate that you are fearless. I hate that you don’t let anything get under your skin. You are a huntress, a perfectly honed weapon, but you are merciful. You never let a kill linger, always swift and clean. You savor battle. Don’t try to deny it. I see it every time we fight. But you don’t relish it the same way I do. You know things about me that should have you running from me, but you trust me. Don’t deny that either. You are the first person to know what I am, who I am and still see me as a man.”

“I am very aware that you are a man.”

A growl escaped his lips. “See, that’s what I mean. That first day, anyone else would have run, but I could see the desire in your eyes, just as I do now. You said you didn’t trust me, but you bled for me. I knew then I was your first. I also knew that we shared something dark, a hidden desire for blood, not just the bandit's but each other's. Somehow we course through each other, play on each other, two sides of the same coin. I asked you once if you were like us or a little different. I now know the answer is yes, to both.”

Aloy could only stare at the man in front of her. This was one of the questions she had asked Erend, which he was unwilling to answer. They complimented each other in so many ways. Light to dark, silent fury to chaos. She was calm and quiet and he was the storm. He made her feel a passion that set her soul on fire and she grounded him, kept him from creeping over the edge of his insanity. She was only ever able to deny it when he wasn’t standing right in front of her. 

When he stood in front of her with that feral look in his eyes, she couldn’t deny her body’s immediate response. But did unyielding sexual desire equal love? If she was honest with herself, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from drifting to him, no matter whom she was with, but the same could be said about Erend. And thinking of Erend now brought thoughts of Avad. 

She groaned and laid back down on the bedroll. Nil took the sound as one of pain and squatted on his heels, lifted up her shirt to examine the bruising. He pressed his hand against the reddened marks. 

“No heat. That’s good. Rest Huntress, I will keep watch.” 

And with those simple words, she knew he cared for her, even if he was as unsure as she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, all. I have been incredibly sick, but this chapter meant so much to the story that I wanted to get it right. Thank you for your patience.


	21. Caring for the Huntress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nil has taken care of Aloy for a few days, ensuring she comes to no further injury. But now, she is feeling restless and ready to get on with her mission. 
> 
> Nil isn't convinced she is fully healed and insists on accompanying her. He can tell by her slowed movements, the way her hand covers her side. She can't even carry her pack. She's being stubborn, but he won't let her get herself killed simply because she doesn't know how to be still.
> 
> #Niloy

“I can do it. I don’t need you to coddle me.” Aloy tried once more to strap her equipment to her back, but her side continued to protest the movement. Her ribs and back were incredibly sore. Her head pounded, and she knew she was still weak.

“Really? Because from here it looks like you are struggling. I think you may have a cracked rib. There is no need to rush.” Finally, Nil pulled the pack from her shoulders. In her state, she couldn’t stop him and she was being stubborn in wanting to head out immediately.

Aloy could see in the set of Nil’s jaw, the thinning of his lips, the hard edge to his steel grey eyes, that he was growing ever more frustrated with her. He was only trying to help her and she didn’t want to let him. It was quickly turning into a battle of wills, and Aloy knew this was a fight she could still win if she pushed hard enough. But did she really want to? 

“I have to get to this place Sylens told me about. I’m so close to answers and the only thing standing in my way are the Eclipse and their focus network. I need to shut it down.” She reached for the pack, but Nil pulled it just far enough away to make her side protest again.

He was probably right. She knew that she had suffered some damage from that final blast of the war machine. She also knew that if she stood up too quickly she felt like she would faint. What was she hoping to accomplish by setting out in her current state? Was she trying to look tough for Nil? 

No, it was because she’d never had anyone try to take care of her, to nurse her back to health, and now the person trying to do it was Nil. It was so unexpected, she didn’t know what to make of the situation, and that made her uncomfortable. Avad she would have expected this from, but Nil? He delighted in the killing. He lived for the hunt. To sit and have him play nurse-maid, cook and healer was not natural. 

“I honestly didn’t understand half of what you just said, but you can’t expect to walk into an Eclipse stronghold like this. Give it a few more days. The journey itself should give you enough time to heal, if you take it slow. You need food and you need rest.” Nil turned away from her and set her pack on the other side of the small campfire. 

“Fine. I will take my time getting there, but you don’t have to stay…”

“I’m staying. I will accompany you through the Sundom. There are too many dangers along the way to leave you to your own devices. I can’t have my partner dying on me. We have too much left to do.” 

Aloy glared at him, but the fight went out of her. She was tired. Her body hurt. She sat back down, a little too hard and gave her body another jolt of pain. Nil frowned. He didn’t like that she kept doing that. She was used to being somewhat injured, taking hits was part of her life. She faced machines and killers every day. Her body bore faint scars everywhere, a few on her shoulders from a Glinthawk, one on her thigh from a Scrapper, Helis’ mark on her neck, the one above her eyebrow from Bast. She rubbed absently at the last, a habit she’d had for some time. Her reminder that she didn’t belong, just as Bast had reminded her the night before the Proving. 

But she did belong now. The Sundom had welcomed her with open arms. Erend had proven that by opening his home to her. Avad had proven it by asking her to stay at his side. Even the insane Carja in front of her was doing his best to make her feel needed, wanted. 

She decided if she was going to sit around being waited on and catered to, she’d at least attempt to do something useful. “Nil, I need my pack.”

“So you can attempt to run off again? No.”

“I just want to craft a few things while we are sitting here. I’m not good at being idle.” She was running low on blast bombs and hardpoint arrows after her tangle with the Deathbringer. Both of these things she had at Erend’s house, but Aloy doubted Nil would accompany her into the city, and she doubted that he would be willing to let her out of his sights. She now knew what it was like for the Nora girl she had met who went hunting after her father’s spear. She had said he would panic if she took ten steps to relieve herself in the bushes. She knew her father was just worried about her, but now that she was in the same position, she felt for the girl. 

“I need to hunt down a young Nora girl named Nakoa. Would you allow that at least? I have a feeling she is being held captive somewhere. She came to the Sundom to track down her father’s killer. I told her brother I would look for her and I asked about her at Daytower. I have a lead, and I don’t think the battle will be too hard to reach her.” She knew she was pushing the boundaries of Nil’s comfort zone. She was asking him to venture close to people who may want him dead, or who may recognize him, but she had almost forgot about the girl and now she had the perfect excuse to go after her, and with backup. 

“You want me to go after Carja? No.”

“They may be bandits, possibly even slavers. I know you wouldn’t mind so much if you knew for sure, but we won’t know until we get there.”

At the mention of bandits, a slow smile spread across his lips. “Alright. I will accompany you, Little Huntress.” 

 

Aloy overrode a Broadhead, but only one. This forced Nil to have to ride behind her on their journey. As he sat behind her, he tried to keep her body stable, not liking the way the machine jolted her. The pressure of his hands on her waist sent electric shocks of a different kind through her. The adrenaline of the wind whipping past them as she pushed the machine, combined with his touch and the pressure of his body behind hers made her thoughts wander far from Nakoa, and to more immediate problems. 

Three men. She loved three men. How was this possible? She’d never even thought about having a relationship with one. Was it because she didn’t like Nora men? Was there something about the Carja that she found innately attractive? Or the Oseram? 

She couldn’t deny that she was drawn to Nil and Avad’s burnished, sun-kissed, skin. The bronzed color making her think of warmth, and things like honey and the sweet, sticky caramel she was learning to love. She always felt the desire to touch their exposed bellies, run her fingers over their taut muscles. But it was only the two of them, not every Carja that she was developing deep feelings for. 

As far as Oseram went, she was drawn to most she encountered over the course of her travels. She loved the blunt way they spoke. They held nothing back, hiding nothing in how they felt, or what they thought. Erend was exuberant in most things. Anything he liked, he liked with all of his being. He had proven how much he cared for Avad, for Ersa. His emotions were never held in check. He was proud of his people and their accomplishments. He loved deeply. He fought passionately. He said what was on his mind at all times. 

But all of them were so different from each other. Avad was kind, compassionate, and gentle. Erend was funny, brutish, but loyal. Nil was passionate, driven and a little touched. Was there a common thread within them? If so, she didn’t see it. 

What she did see was each man called to a different part of her. She didn’t feel like she was different in each man’s presence, but the way they made her feel was different. Erend called to the child within her. She felt so light in his presence as if the world could fall away in an instant and they would be left standing without a care in the world. She could laugh with him, be a little careless with him. She’d never had that before. Her life had been one worry after another. Rost, she was certain would not approve. He wouldn’t like his casual drinking or his outright infatuation. But if she was honest, Rost wouldn’t like any of her choices, because they weren’t Nora. 

Avad called to her sense of compassion. She believed in his cause. She wanted to stand by his side and see the peace he wanted for all people. He was generous and gentle in all things and it stirred something deep within her just to be in his presence. She didn’t know if it was because he was a king, and it was just his way, but she was drawn to that presence. She loved his easy grace, his quick smile, and his tender touch. She loved that he’d respected her deeply from the first moment they’d met. But he wanted more than she could give. She was still certain he wanted her to be his queen. That brought more ties, more constraints, more dangers than she was ready for.

Then there was Nil. His touch was unlike anything she’d ever felt. It seared her, branded her. He held nothing back in the throes of passion. He fucked like he fought. It was in those moments that he exposed his soul to her. It was dark and torrid. He opened up his pit of loneliness and let her fill all of the empty parts of him. It spoke to the empty places in her own soul. Her light filled his darkness, and his darkness devoured hers. They accepted each other without restraint. They were so different, but worked so well together, playing off the other’s strengths and weaknesses. He called to the wild, restless parts of her. He tested her, pushed her to be better. He wanted to see all she was capable of, and she was eager to show him. 

As Lonesome Rock came into view, she tried to bring her thoughts back to the current mission. She needed to be focused and ready to face whatever may be coming. Zaid, she was certain, was setting her up for something, she just didn’t know what. She was happy Nil would be there to back her up if things went wrong. 

She slowed the Broadhead as they came upon the gates. Nil’s hands drifted slowly from her waist to rest on her thighs. 

“What’s the plan?” 

His voice seemed so soft after the steady rushing wind, and it took her a moment to gain her bearings. “Stay out of sight. Let me go in first and see what I can find. I don’t want to spook them into unnecessary action and I need to know what they did with Nakoa. I can’t question dead men.” She shot him a look over her shoulder, ensuring he understood.

He nodded and slipped off of the Broadhead, and lifted his arms to help her down. 

She frowned at him but knew he was only doing it because she was injured and he didn’t want her to make it worse by taking a leap off a machine twice her size. She was not going to get used to someone babying her. 

She took his arms and slid down his body, instead of the Broadhead’s. He cradled her side so she would feel none of the impact of meeting him chest to chest. When her feet hit the ground, she wanted to pull away from him but his grip held her tight. 

“Be careful.”

“I will, but follow my lead; don’t act unless you have to.”

Again, he nodded. He released her reluctantly, his fingers lingering on her arm as she stepped away. 

It seemed like an ordinary outpost. There were a few guards standing around, but not much else. Aloy began to think that maybe Zaid was telling the truth and had sent her to talk to a few soldiers who had seen Nakoa come through here. She wasn’t quite ready to accept that though. She felt a look around the place may turn up more than what was readily present. 

“I’m bored. I’m so bored with being bored.”

“I’m bored with you talking about being bored.” 

Two of the soldiers were arguing. They seemed to be strung tight with anticipation of something. Boredom was a typical feeling for those assigned no non-hostile posts in any army, but these men bounced on their heels. One shifting his weapon from one hand to another. There was something off about the way they were acting, but Aloy was never quick to jump to conclusions. She ignored them and moved on to search the area. She spotted a broken down cart with some type of metal chain handing from the edge. She moved toward the cart.

“Hold, Outlander. What are you doing here?” The guard on the steps, the one not arguing about being bored, called down to her.

In case these men were not what they seemed, she lied. “Hunting. I’ve been tracking a Sawtooth for the better part of the day.”

The Carja guard sighed, “Well, you must have lost the scent because we haven’t seen any around here. Now, be on your way and quickly.” He gave her a dismissive gesture and turned back to the arguing men.

The cart was close, she thought she may be able to examine the cart in passing, but as she inched closer, the guard on the steps caught on to what she was doing.

“She’s snooping around. Wrap her up and tie her down boys,” he said as he chuckled, thinking she would be quickly dealt with. 

Three arrows, in quick succession, flew from a patch of grass just inside the fort’s entrance. All men fell as the arrows hit their marks. It looked like she wouldn’t be questioning these men after all. 

Nil rose from his crouch with a smirk on his face, but it quickly left as he took in Aloy’s crossed arms and pursed lips. “What? They were going to attack you.”

“I needed answers from them, Nil.”

“I’m sure we will find all you need without talking to these scum.” He strapped his bow onto his back and the smirk returned. 

“Well, at least you have confidence in my tracking abilities.” She sighed and turned back to the cart with the chains. 

On closer examination, she realized the chains had manacles attached to them. Were they moving prisoners? If so, why attack her for being here. There was definitely something fishy about all of this. But carts meant tracks. She found the trail leading out of the fort. 

“This way,” she called over her shoulder.

Nil came trotting up behind her. “Should we take the Broadhead?”

“I’m not sure how far we will have to travel but I don’t want to alert anyone by riding up on a machine.” 

Nil nodded and took both of their packs from the Broadhead’s back, flinging one over each shoulder. 

“I can carry my own.” Again, Aloy crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips.

“Of course, you can.” He smiled, and continued on the trail ahead of her, making no move to hand either pack off to her. 

“I am injured, not invalid.” 

He didn’t even turn to look at her. 

Aloy let out a puff of frustration, but if he wanted to overburden himself, that was his business. She had seen the “gentlemanly” ways of Carja men within the city. This was apparently their way of being nice, ensuring that their women did nothing for themselves. It was an odd custom. Aloy knew that had this happened in Nora land, the men would likely be punched in the face for their efforts. However, she could see some of the appeal. Men handed off their cloaks when their women were cold. They would run small errands, such as refilling glasses or carrying their wares from the market. 

She also knew the pack gave her no small amount of pain that morning. It rested too tightly over her injured parts. This had been Nil’s reasoning for accompanying her in the first place. She hated feeling fragile, delicate. Pain was something she was used to. It wasn’t going to go away just because Nil was there. He couldn’t heal her. But as they walked on, she began to feel that twinge in her side, telling her she was pushing herself too hard. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she was eventually grateful that Nil wouldn’t turn over her belongings.

“There.” Aloy pointed out the new fort that lay ahead of them. “That must be where the tracks lead, but the gates are closed. We will have to sneak in.”

Nil stashed their packs behind a boulder and readied his bow. He followed Aloy to a broken part of the outer wall. 

“This is our way in it seems.”

They crept over the rubble and into the tall grass. Aloy tapped her focus to get a headcount. There weren’t as many guards here as she would have expected, she counted eight. One, however, was heavily armed. 

As they got closer, Aloy could make out some of what the guards were saying.

“That Nora girl we’ve got in the hold is nice and lean.” 

That set Aloy’s teeth on edge. Nakoa was here and it seemed like at least one of the guards planned to mistreat her.

“Don’t get ideas. Zaid says hands off. It’ll hurt her price at auction.”

Auction? So, they were slavers. She turned to Nil to find that predatory gleam in his eyes. He had heard them, too. 

“Two snipers. One on top of that building.” She pointed to what looked like a watchtower to her right. “And one there.” She then pointed directly in front of them. 

Nil took position to take out the one in the watchtower as she lined up her shot on the man on the ridge in front of her. Their bowstrings snapped at the same time. They were really getting good at this. He then made his way back to her, ready for his next instructions.

“Two lone guards. One under the watchtower and one in the center of camp.”

He made his way back to his previous position and took out the man under the watchtower, but the man in the center of camp kept creeping just out of Aloy’s sight, behind a well. She was just about to move when she heard Nil loose another arrow and her target fell. 

“Four down, four to go. Okay, one walking along the stairwell to the upper ridge, one in this building, two at the gates. Let’s take out the ones at the gates and hope we don’t alert the other two.”

Their bodies moved in synchronicity through the grass. They had worked together enough times to know Aloy veered left and Nil veered right. It was harmonious, their acts of war. They were a well-oiled machine, a flowing torrent, cascading over and around each other. It was an easy shift from the guards at the gate to each other’s moves to take out the next target. Aloy aiming for the man on the stairs and Nil sliding into the dilapidated cabin. No calls of alarm came. No sounds of panic. Aloy knew those were things Nil loved about battle, but how could he deny the pure pleasure of how quickly and silently they could defeat their enemies together.

“Alright, let’s loot the bodies. There has to be a key on one of them. They said they had captives locked up.”

Aloy took the guards at the gate and then went up to the ridge, while Nil stayed below. She found her treasure on the sniper she had taken out and called to Nil, letting him know she heard voices coming from a cellar where she stood. 

Nakoa was locked in the cellar, along with a few, not so well off Carja captives. The ones with her looked as if they were barely clinging to life. Yet, at her approach, all of their eyes lit on her. They knew she was their rescuer. They knew someone had come to help.

“Nakoa? Yan sent me. Look, we can talk more once we get everyone out of this pit.” Aloy was disgusted by the sight of these men and Nakoa locked up, shackled to the floor. Zaid would burn for this. She would make him pay for lying to her, and for being the heinous person she had been told he was. 

“Yan sent you? I don’t believe it. One of his prayers finally worked.” The relief and disbelief in Nakoa’s eyes were heartbreaking.

Again, Aloy’s efforts were being written off to some unknown deity. Yet, in this moment, she didn’t have the energy or want to argue that point with the woman in front of her. “I’ve got the key.” Aloy reached down and unlocked the shackles binding Nakoa.

“I’ll help the others. Let’s go.”

Aloy made her way up the stairs with the others close on her heels. She was about to step out into the sunlight when Nakoa let out a small cry of alarm and tugged on her arm. 

Nil stood just outside the door.

“It’s alright, Nakoa. He’s with me.” She placed a reassuring hand over Nakoa’s and gave her a smile, but the Nora still seemed apprehensive. “He won’t hurt you. I promise.”

Nakoa nodded and Aloy turned back to the door. 

“Wait,” Nil whispered. “No. Stay down there. Don’t come out yet.”

Aloy heard the armored footsteps as she stepped out into the light. She turned back to Nakoa. “Stay down, out of sight. This will be over soon.”

Nakoa nodded, “We will, but we will stay in the grass. We can’t stay down there any longer.”

Aloy nodded and turned back to Nil.

“I meant you, too.”

“Yeah, I know.” Aloy readied her bow.

“I knew you were going to be trouble, girl. But you’ll make it worth our while in the end.” Zaid and his men stood at the gates of the fort.

“The end is now Zaid. For you and your men.” Aloy wanted to watch all of these men burn. She still couldn’t believe what she’d just seen in the cellar. It was all too fresh, all too real. Slavers. Avad would have to forgive her for killing one of his Prefects. But she had a feeling he would understand. 

She nodded to Nil and dove for the tall grass, keeping her injured side tucked in as she hit the ground. The impact still hurt, but she was able to keep most of it at bay. She strapped her bow back onto her back and reached for her sling. A few blast bombs would help Nil level the playing field.

“By the Sun. It’s him.” She heard one of the men shout before an arrow pierced his throat. She didn’t have time to wonder about that, they were under attack.

She launched the first of her bombs right into the center of the group of men, hitting one square in the chest and knocking a few more off of their feet, but the impact had little effect on Zaid and his cannon. Nil fired his bow with precision, taking out two more of the men before rolling away from the cannon fire. Aloy sent another bomb volleying through the air and this time it landed at Zaid’s feet. The blast knocked him back forcing him to drop his cannon. It was all the opening Nil needed to make short work of the rest of Zaid’s men. 

Zaid lay on the ground, moaning and clutching his stomach. Aloy couldn’t see the wound she’d given him, but blood flowed freely from his side. Nakoa came running up from behind her, just as Aloy stood over him, ready to deliver the final blow. She sank her spear into the man’s chest. It was a clean kill. Aloy wished she could have seen the man suffer a little at least, but she couldn’t fault Nakoa for wanting this to finally be over. 

“You gave him a quicker death than he deserved,” said Aloy.

“My father was a hunter. He taught me every animal deserves a clean kill.” 

Aloy knew that lesson. It was one Rost had taught her as well. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“I’m fine.” Nakoa’s tone said that it didn’t matter if she was or not. Her mission had been fulfilled. That was the only thing she cared about.

“Are you sure?” Aloy knew being too prideful could get you hurt. Maybe there was a lesson here for her, as well. She had been trying to complete her own mission while injured. She turned to look at Nil, but he was looting the bodies as he knew she would do.

“Zaid is dead. I was willing to go through anything to make that happen. And I did.” The satisfaction in that statement brought Aloy’s heart to ease. She wished she could experience the same in her own quest. That another had found it, she found promising. A sign of hope.

“I need to go.” Aloy was ready to be done with this ugly business and Nakoa seemed to have the matter well in hand.

“I don’t even know your story. It must be a good one for the Matriarchs to give you the Mark of a Seeker. If you ever feel like telling it, look me up in Meridian. I’ll be there until the others get back on their feet. Until then… Thank you, for helping me cut this rot from the world. I don’t know, maybe now I can put Zaid behind me and remember my father as I should.” 

Aloy nodded and gave Nakoa a smile. “I just might do that. It would be nice to have another friend there.”

 

“So, you’ll be going back to Meridian?” Nil had been quiet since leaving the fort. 

“Eventually. Not this very moment, but all roads seem to lead back to the city.” 

He turned their dinner over the fire, his gaze captivated by the flames. If Aloy was reading his expression right, he seemed disappointed. She stood and made her way to his side of the campfire. She took a seat next to him and placed her hand on his arm.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not for a while. You said you’d take me safely through the Sundom until I was healed. You have my full attention for a few weeks. Are you going to brood through all of it?” 

He turned to her then, examining her. It wasn’t like the times before, when he was sizing her up. This felt tender. He had been taking care of her for days and not once had he looked at her like that. 

“Can I show you something?” She didn’t know if it was the way he was looking at her, or if it was that fact that for a while now she had considered him her best friend, but she wanted someone to know what she was searching for. Why this mission kept leading her to dangerous places. 

“Sure.”

She queued up her focus to the image of Elizabet Sobek and then slipped the device off of her ear. She leaned over and slid the focus over Nil’s. When she tapped it, he jumped.

“Easy there killer.” She laughed at his shock.

He shot her a dark look but then turned his gaze back to the image she knew he was seeing. 

“That is Elizabet Sobek. The reason the Eclipse are after me. Their leader, Hades, sent a kill order on me because I look like her.”

Nil examined the image. “You do look like her. Is she your mother?”

Aloy sighed, “That’s one of the things I have been trying to find out. She lived centuries ago, but I haven’t come up with a better explanation. The man I spoke of earlier, Sylens. He’s been helping me track her down. We’ve found out that she was working on a project to save the world in her time.”

She took the focus back and watched as Nil tried to right himself, blinking repetitively. She couldn’t help but laugh again. She had worn the focus for so long that it was literally a second-sight for her. There was no jarring sensation to come down from, no awkward readjustment. 

“You don’t know who your mother is, and you think this woman might be her?”

“I never had a mother. I was found inside the Nora’s Sacred Mountain. I was made an Outcast at birth because of it. All my life I’ve wondered why. It never made any sense to me, that a tribe would cast out an infant. But I seem to have found a few places that are willing to accept me just as I am. A few people.” She nudged Nil’s side, telling him he was one of those few people.

“My point is, Meridian has always accepted me. Maybe not everyone within the city, but I’ve never felt like an Outcast there. So, please, don’t be offended by me wanting to return.”

He nodded but said nothing else. She wondered why he was so morose about her return to the city. Was he hoping she’d wander the world with him forever? 

The rabbit was finally done and they sat and shared their meal in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Aloy wished Nil would say something about what she’d said. Give her some hint as to why he didn’t want her to return to Meridian. 

Aloy stood and began removing her armor. She was tired and still in a little pain, so her movements were slow and stretching her arms made the pain slightly worse. She had her vest almost off when she felt Nil’s hands graze her shoulders. He slid the leather down her back so she wouldn’t have to fight to get it off and then crouched, turning her body to face him. He undid the buckles of her sandals and slid them off of her feet. When he was finished, he resumed his place by the fire and watched as she stripped down to her leggings and silk top. She could see the hunger in his eyes, but he made no move to join her as she lay on the bedroll. 

His stormy eyes never left her, never wavered as she drifted off to sleep.


	22. Let's Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy is getting antsy. She's healed and she is ready to be on her way but knows she has another day's journey ahead of her.
> 
> #Niloy
> 
> Also, my first attempt at 3rd person omni, so please let me know if it's okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An odd choice for Nil, I know, but the inspiration for this
> 
> There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back- Shawn Mendes

“You want me to spar with you?” Nil couldn’t keep the incredulity from his voice. He was supposed to be protecting his Huntress, not hurting her.

“If I am going to take down an Eclipse stronghold tomorrow, I need to make sure I am fully healed. And if I can’t take you down, well…” Aloy smirked, knowing she was goading Nil, but unable to stop herself. He had been in such a mood since learning of her plans to return to Meridian. She wanted nothing more than the return of his sarcastic, macabre, sense of humor.

“Do you find my skills lacking in some way? What makes you think you can take me, Little Huntress?” Nil stepped up to her, his frame towering over her, trying his best to look intimidating. 

“Not lacking. I’m just not afraid of you.” Again, she goaded him as she bounced on her toes. She had been idle far too long and now that she was feeling healthy, she couldn’t hold still. It was like the time when Erend had given her that first taste of coffee. All of her energy needed an outlet. She felt like she could run circles around a Stalker.

“Oh, Little Huntress. You should be afraid. You have no idea what I am capable of.” 

Aloy couldn’t stop the thrill that went through her as Nil sized her up. It had been days since he’d looked at her like that. “Yeah, yeah. Big, scary, killer. I know. Bane of the Cut and the Forsaken Village. Show me what you got big man.”

Nil took a step back. “How did you…” He couldn’t finish the question. They hadn’t talked about his past. There was no way. But she was grinning from ear to ear.

“I didn’t. But now I do. Call it an educated guess.”

She was toying with him. The Huntress was baiting him. Nil couldn’t believe it. He’d never seen her like this. He didn’t like it. People were supposed to run from him, whisper these things behind his back. That’s how it had always been. Yet, with every admittance, she’d never run. She’d always met him face-to-face, eye-to-eye. She’d never shied away from anything he’d told her. She’d turned disgusted looks his way. She’d scowled. But in all the time he’d been with her, she’d never once backed away from him. 

“Are you ready?”

And now she was mocking him. What had gotten into her? Was this what happened to her when she was forced to do nothing for a day or two? It hadn’t been that long since they’d rescued Nakoa. He had thought she would be appeased by the detour. They went days between bandit camps, sometimes even weeks. What did she do to keep herself busy in Meridian? 

Nope. He didn’t want to know what she did in Meridian. She had already talked to him about Erend and grew offended by his description of Avad. He could read between the lines well enough to know that she had grown close to both of them. But he had hoped once her business in the city was over, they would travel together as they had before. Not that he was lonely, but he liked having her around. 

“Alright, Huntress. What will our weapons be, and what are the terms?”

Aloy grinned, “My spear, your daggers, first blood.”

Nil liked those terms. First blood. Just hearing it made his heart beat faster, his breathing grew shallow. This would be interesting. He smiled, laid his bow on the ground and pulled the twin daggers from his belt. 

Aloy charged in, and Nil could only smile. Her match would come to a much quicker end than she expected. What an amateurish move. He had thought of what it would be like to fight her on more than one occasion, but this was somewhat of a letdown. But just as she closed the distance, her body lowered to the ground and she slid between his legs, holding her spear wide, she tugged him to the ground, nearly flipping him over. 

Nil’s unceremonious fall had his face nearly colliding with the ground. 

Damn, she was good. He’d never seen her pull a move like that before, and he wondered what other tricks she might be hiding. He pushed himself to his feet and turned to where she should have been, but she was nowhere in sight. He knew she had to be hiding in the tall grass somewhere nearby, but he heard no sound that would tell him her location, saw no rustle in the red waves to tell him where she was headed. 

Aloy made a slow circle of the camp, keeping in direction with the wind and keeping Nil in her sights. His eyes roved over the grass, but she was too well concealed. There would be no way for him to see her. She flipped on her focus as she drew near his back. A turkey lies not too far away and if she could scare it into making some sort of noise, she would have him. She picked up a rock and tossed it, causing the bird to warble, and Nil to turn to the sound. 

As he took a step away from her, she crept out of the grass and lifted her spear. She tapped him on the shoulder and then brought the blunt end to his belly as he turned. 

“Dead,” she declared. 

Nil stood stock still. Never had anyone got the drop on him so quickly. But this wasn’t over. She had declared the terms and no blood had been drawn, yet. He gripped the end of her spear and tugged. 

She didn’t fall for it, releasing her hold before he could disorient her, cause her to lose her balance. But that also left her weaponless. Nil smiled then. There was no way for her to win this fight now. He was sure of it. He swung his arm, thinking he could knick her arm before she was out of reach, but she ducked as swerved under the blow. Then he charged. If he could get a hold of her, she wouldn’t be able to break free. She was strong, but he could use his size to his advantage. 

Just before his body made contact, she jumped and rolled away. 

Damn, she was fast.

And gone. 

Aloy hid in the grass, waiting for another moment to pounce. Nil was growing frustrated. She knew her skills of stealth far surpassed his. She knew she could hide from him for quite some time, but that wasn’t the point. She needed to be sure she could take a hit. She needed to be sure she wouldn’t fall to her injuries in the battle she was sure would be coming.

As he neared her location, she leapt. Her hands gripped his arms as she vaulted over him and landed with him underneath her. She had always been good at using her own body weight to her advantage. She may be small but she could manipulate a body twice her size with the right leverage.

She smiled down at him. His arms were pinned under her legs. “Dead again, Carja. I thought you were better at this.” She tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips. Then she shook her head and began clicking her tongue, her arms crossing over her chest.

Twice. She had him marked twice in less than a minute. And now she was mocking him again. Nil had only one choice. If he was going to win this, he would have to play dirty. He wasn’t above it, but he had always thought that he could take her in a fair fight. Now, he saw he had clearly been wrong.

“Alright, Huntress. Let me up and we will start again.”

As her weight lifted off of him, he formulated a plan. When she turned her back to him, he sprung to his feet and wrapped his arms around her chest. She squirmed, trying to wriggle away from him.

“Not fair. You cheated.” She kicked his shin, but Nil kept his hold on her and tilted his dagger toward her neck.

“I told you. You trust me. Maybe you shouldn’t.” 

Nil’s dagger grazed her skin, just under her jawline, and she felt the prick as he drew first blood. 

He still had her in his arms and Aloy could feel his breath brushing along the back of her neck. She could feel Nil’s hard length pressed into her backside. It sent a pulse of burning need between her thighs. Her heart thudded in her chest. This wasn’t what she had planned. But she knew what hunting did to him. She knew what the trill of the fight would bring out in him. 

“Nil,” she whispered in a shaky breath. 

He didn’t say anything but pressed his need harder into her body as he tilted her head back and licked away the small bead of blood he had released from her skin. He savored the metallic taste, mixed with the salty sweetness of her. His teeth sank into her pulse, wanting more. Needing more of her. 

She moaned, her hand reaching back to tug his head closer. 

He’d missed this. Missed her. He wanted her. Craved her. He’d never wanted anything or anyone so much in his life. He couldn’t admit it to her when she’d asked before. He’d been offended by her earlier question of abandonment. Had he felt that way? Maybe. He didn’t want to admit that it left him empty when she was gone for days. He’d told her he was never lonely when there was killing to be done, but he always waited for her. He wanted to see the thrill of the hunt on her face as much as he wanted to see the fear, the fleeting life of his victims. 

“Aloy,” he whispered against her skin.

She squirmed in his arms again, and this time he released her. When her green-gold eyes met his, they were full of fire, full of need. Her hands cupped his face and she tugged him none too gently to meet her lips. They were soft, supple, like the leathers she wore. Her tongue slid across his lips, begging entry. She tasted of the salty meat they had eaten for lunch and something sweeter, like berries. 

Aloy pushed Nil’s vest away, needing to feel his skin on hers. Goddess she was a fool. She knew this was not a good idea. She had told Erend when she returned to Meridian she would be his. But she wasn’t in Meridian, and she cared for Nil just as much. And she could barely set eyes on Nil without wanting him. He was so intense. He was passion and wild hunger. His silver eyes set her aflame, much like flint. 

She skimmed her fingers over his abdomen, a desire she always had, and smiled as the muscles twitched under her tender touch. Her thumbs skimmed his nipples and he jumped at the sensation. Her fingernails, replaced her fingertips as she stroked the rigid expanse, around to his sides and down his back. His lightly-golden skin was slick with a light sheen of sweat and Aloy dipped her head to trace the outline of his abs with her tongue, tasting the salty, bitter tang. 

Nil couldn’t take the teasing strokes anymore. He placed his hands on Aloy’s hips and turned her body away from his. He lifted her skirt and pushed on the small of her back, bending her body before him. He slid her leggings down just enough that her sex was exposed and undid the laces of his trousers. His erection pulsed with need. A tiny pearl of precum already beaded its head. Sun and Shadow, this woman did things to him he never thought possible. 

Without delay, and without any foreplay, he stroked the head of his cock over her slick heat. He knew she would be tight. He hadn’t tried to stretch her in any way. But the sensation that washed over him as he entered her was more than he had anticipated. He gripped her like a knife sheath. Her warmth gripped him and pulsed around him. He wanted to pump into her, to drive all of his desire into hard, unyielding strokes, but he couldn’t. He worked her slowly until her body accepted all of him and her own pleasure had her bending over further, her hands gripping the thick grass.

The sensation of Nil slipping into her with no preparation had Aloy’s head spinning. He couldn’t simply slide into her; he had to work his cock in slow shallow strokes. Every stroke gaining more purchase. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her body into his as he rocked into her. Her nipples skimmed along her silk undershirt as she bent further over, trying to find some way to steady herself. 

When he finally sank to his base, both let out a moan of sheer ecstasy. He pumped harder, faster, but he wanted more. 

“Kneel,” the word came out as a growling command, but she followed, dropping to her hands and knees as he knelt behind her.

Finally, he could fuck her, pound her like he wanted. Claim her. His strokes grew relentless, unforgiving and a deep guttural growl emanated from him as she let out scream after scream. He felt her hand reach down to stroke her clit and was surprised when two of her fingers slid around his base to grip him even tighter. He couldn’t take it. Her hands finding him in this moment sent him over the edge and he came with such ferocity that he collapsed on top of her, still pumping into her with the aftershock of it all.

Aloy accepted the weight of Nil’s body with ease. Both needed a moment to catch their breaths. His arm wrapped around her middle and his forehead rested on her shoulder. The feathers of his headdress tickled her cheek and she couldn’t help but laugh. 

Nil lifted his head to figure out why she was laughing. She pointed at his headdress and he bent his head to tickle her again. The giggle he received was worth it and she squirmed underneath him. He had another idea. If the feathers tickled…

Nil’s fingers gripped her ribs and Aloy screamed. He was tickling her. She squirmed and fought, but she was trapped under his weight as his tortuous fingers delved into her flesh. Her screams quickly turned to riotous laughter. She couldn’t believe it. This was the last thing she expected from him. No one knew she was ticklish. 

His fingers moved along her ribcage, then gripped the backs of her thighs, just under her cheeks. She flung her body, trying anything that would give her an escape, but he countered every move. 

“Stop! Stop! Stop, please,” she begged.

Oh, he liked that. His Huntress begging. If he knew it was this easy, he would have tried long ago. He liked her laughter, her smile. They weren’t things he heard or saw often from her, or from anyone for that matter. He didn’t think it would be a sound he would miss. No, he didn’t miss it. It was her. He liked hearing her laugh. 

Finally, he released her and she rolled onto her back, lifting slightly to pull up her leggings. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were a bright pink. It did something to his chest to see her like this. She still lay under his body, but was now completely content and she was looking at him in a way that said more than he could interpret. 

“Huntress?” 

“Yes, Nil.” Her hand reached up to stroke his arm. 

“I believe the answer to your question is, yes.”

She gave him a confused look, and he was worried he’d have to say the actual words. He wasn’t sure he could do it. He’d never uttered those words in his life. They held a weight he wasn’t sure he could bare in this moment. 

Sudden realization lit her face and her mouth fell open in an “o”. Her cheeks brightened from pale pink to a deep red. Her hand left his arm to pull him down into a sensual kiss, her legs wrapping around his body. 

Aloy’s heart raced. She loved three men and three men loved her. How did this happen? She went from being completely undesirable to having everything she ever wanted. Yet, it couldn’t last. She couldn’t maintain a relationship with all three. Could she?


	23. To Curse the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy finally heads to the Eclipse stronghold.
> 
> Some #Niloy, but mostly getting this mission on the books ;)

“Your friend can’t go with you, Aloy.” Sylens’ voice interrupted her thoughts.

“I am aware of that, Sylens.” The last she added for Nil’s benefit. She was sure, to him, it looked as if she were speaking to no one. 

He squeezed her hips and leaned closer. Aloy didn’t know if he was hoping to hear what the voice in her ear was saying, or if he still hadn’t caught on that she was speaking to someone through her focus. She turned to him and pointed to the small triangular device on her ear. 

Nil nodded, telling her he understood.

“What do you even know about your companion?” Sylens didn’t seem worried, just curious. That was one thing they had in common. Neither of them could let answers rest. They both sought out the mystery that was Zero Dawn, the mystery that was Elizabet Sobek. They both needed to know more, needed to see what the ruins of the Metal World held. 

“If you are going to tell me he fought for the Mad Sun-King, save your breath. I already know.”

Nil shifted behind her on the Broadhead. He didn’t seem to like the course of the conversation. He couldn’t hear what the other voice was saying, but he’d told her little of his past, and she had only guessed at what she knew now. 

“Wouldn’t that essentially make him Shadow Carja?” Sylens' tone shifted into something like concern, but it was tainted with condescension. It was more likely he was worried about the course of her mission rather than any worry for her well-being. 

“No. I didn’t find him in Sunfall. In fact, he wants nothing to do with the political situation within the Sundom.” At the mention of Sunfall, Nil stiffened behind her, but she placed a hand over his on her hip, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She didn’t care about Nil’s past. She cared about the man he was now. He had given her no reason to distrust him. He may be a little touched, but he had a code and he stuck to it. They agreed that the bandit threat was one that needed to be eliminated, and while he wouldn’t follow her into an Eclipse base or hunt machines, their goals aligned. 

Aloy wasn’t being naïve. She was simply aware that everyone had a past, and if you delved deep enough, you could find fault with anyone. There would always be something that could hurt your opinion of the person in front of you. Erend had fought alongside Dervahl. Avad killed his father. She was motherless, an Outcast most of her life. She was sure Rost held some dark secret, as well. Why else would he be an Outcast?

“Can we just focus on the mission?” Aloy was growing irritated on Nil’s behalf. If he wanted her to know about his past, he could tell her. She didn’t need to hear it from a man she didn’t trust. Sylens could have any amount of information on Nil, but he didn’t know him. He didn’t know that regardless of what he may have done before, there was little he could say or do to sway her opinion of the man riding behind her. 

“Well, you are very close now. There’s a sheer rock wall just ahead. Look close and you will find handholds leading up.”

“Oh, really. And who put those there, hmm?” Then there was silence. No more answers or quips came from the man who liked to infiltrate her focus at will. “Right. Why would I expect an answer? It’s so much more exciting to keep it all a mystery.”

“Huntress?” Nil shifted behind her, obviously realizing her conversation with Sylens had ended. 

“Yes? Sorry. He does that.”

“What exactly are you planning to do once you get there? You said you had to crash a network. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, Nil. I just know that if I want to enter the ruins at Sunfall, this is what I have to do.”

Again, his body stiffened at the mention of Sunfall. He had known for quite some time that it would be her eventual destination. She didn’t know why he grew uncomfortable at the mention of the Shadow Carja’s stronghold. She had to admit she was curious, just not curious enough to pry. Was it because she would be heading to another place that he couldn’t follow? Was he worried she’d fall victim to the Shadow Carja? Did he know something about the place that she didn’t?

The last part was quite likely, but she still didn’t know why it would make him stiffen up at the mere mention of the city. 

“The Eclipse officers all have these.” She pointed to her focus. “Somehow, they have figured out a way to communicate with them. They can send messages over vast distances as quickly as you and I having a conversation right now. That was how they knew to find me at the Proving. That was how Hades sent a kill order on me. ‘System threat detected’. That was what it said. For some reason, this entity is afraid I can replicate whatever Elizabet Sobek did. Or it thinks I am her. Or it thinks I am her daughter. I don’t really know, but I intend to find out.”

Aloy pulled her Broadhead up to an unused campsite. There had been someone here, but they were long gone. There were no embers in the pit they’d left behind. Aloy didn’t want to walk into the base with all of her gear. She needed to be quick, efficient. She still didn’t know what Sylens’ plan was, but she figured taking only what she needed would make her a smaller target and keep her quicker on her feet. 

“If you want to wait for me, you can stay here. If not, you can take the Broadhead and I can meet up with you somewhere else. It’s up to you.”

Nil seemed to consider his options for a moment before dismounting. She followed suit and as he took a seat by the unlit fire, she unloaded the Broadhead. She sat her packs down next to him and began rifling through, looking for the equipment she would need. She already had on her Carja armor but wondered if she should put on her new Silent Hunter gear. It would help her to blend in a little better, but she nixed the idea in favor of fire protection. In every Eclipse front she’d faced, she had seen the blaze canisters. She strapped her bow onto her back and tucked her sling into her belt. She wouldn’t need her Ropecaster but decided it wouldn’t hurt to take the Tripcaster. She filled her quiver with arrows she’d made the night before, and tucked her bombs into a pouch around her belt. 

When she had all she needed she turned to the rock face Sylens had told her about. It didn’t look like too hard a climb if the handholds were where he said they’d be. 

Nil rose, taking Aloy’s waist in his palms, and pulling her into his body. He leaned in, placing his chin on her shoulder. “Show them your heart, Huntress, and then show them theirs.”

Aloy couldn’t help the smile that played on her lips. He was back. She didn’t think she would miss the disgusting things he tended to say, but seeing him mope was far worse. She turned to face him. “I don’t know how long this will take, but I should be back before sunrise.” She rose to her tip-toes and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning back to her task.

 

The climb was much quicker and easier than she had anticipated and a bit of the trill of what was to come left her. This was supposed to be an Eclipse stronghold. If it was this easy to infiltrate, she wondered what would be waiting on the other side. Had Sylens built this place up? He had told her it would be incredibly dangerous. 

She reached a campsite on the cliff side, one she could only assume Sylens had placed because he seemed to think this entrance was some secret. “Alright. What now?”

Sylens’ voice came over her focus. “You wait, that’s what. Take a seat at the campfire and rest. When night falls, we’ll talk.”

She sighed. At least nightfall wasn’t too far off, but she had told Nil she’d be back before sunrise. She hoped she hadn’t unknowingly lied to him. She hoped that if she didn’t make it back by then, he would still be there, but Nil was just as impatient as she was. He couldn’t sit still and do nothing for long. 

She laid her equipment off to the side and tucked herself back into the rock face to get a little relief from the blazing sun. Sitting on all of the exposed rock made her feel like she was baking. But as the sun was beginning to set, she knew the shift in temperature would drop dramatically. It did that in the desert. Blazing inferno during the day and then bone aching cold at night. She remembered wondering why each room in Avad’s palace had a fireplace. It didn’t take her long to figure out the answer. 

She was growing frustrated as the sun dipped below the horizon and Sylens had yet to show himself. It had been hours and she didn’t have time for this. She needed to take down the focus network, but she didn’t know how. She had to wait for Sylens’ next instructions. 

She didn’t like depending on this mysterious stranger. She didn’t like that by him aiding her, she was, in turn, aiding him. She didn’t know why they were after the same answers, but she needed his knowledge as much as he needed her battle prowess and identity.

She stroked her flint and got a fire going. “At least, now I have a fire to keep me company.”

Almost as soon as the blaze was coming to a steady pulse, Sylens appeared before her. Not in person, of course, but the projected image she was quickly growing to hate.

“How nice of you to finally show up.” 

He gave her a look that told her to stop acting childish. She was getting really sick of that look, and for the second time, she wished he was there in person so she could knock the look off of his face.

“Our purpose tonight is to crash the Focus network.” 

Duh, she knew this. They had discussed this back at the Grave Hoard. She knew he thought of her as nothing but a child, and perhaps a means to an end, but he had yet to learn anything about her. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. This man would frustrate her to death. She wouldn’t need to worry about the Eclipse if he kept talking to her like he was. She would simply lose her mind.

“Yeah, now tell me the part I don’t know. How?”

“For starters, you’ll need to infiltrate the Eclipse’s main base.”

Main base? He said this was an Eclipse stronghold, nothing about it being the seat of their organization. Was she going to come face-to-face with Helis? What was he thinking?

“Wait! What?” 

“That’s right. Fortunately for you, I’ve brought you round to the back way. It’s right through that crevice.” His image gestured to the small opening in the rock face. “Once you reach the base, you’ll see the objective, a derelict Tallneck that’s been extensively… modified.” He brought up an image of a Tallneck as if she’d never seen one before.

Did he follow her every move, or not? He had to know she’d done this before. He tracked her well enough. 

“Climb the Tallneck. Grafted into the top of its disc, you’ll find a… module of sorts. Destroy that and the Focus network will crash.”

Sylens was too well informed about this camp. He was too well informed about most things involving this murderous organization. “So, you were once part of the Eclipse.”

A disgusted look crossed the projected images visage. “I’ve never been a part of anything. I serve my own interests. Always.” He let out a hefty sigh. “But it is the case this I… assisted the Eclipse. Before I sensed the threat they might become. It was a mistake -- that I am doing what I can to correct.”

Aloy stood, she knew it was fruitless to try an intimidation tactic on a man who wasn’t truly there, but she was growing angry, frustrated. She knew there was more to Sylens’ assistance than he let on. “What sort of assistance did you give them?”

His image stood, nonplussed. “Head through that crevice, Aloy. You have more important things to do than ask questions.”

And just like that, he was gone. She had no other option than to proceed with her task. She crouched and shimmied her way through the narrow opening. 

Corrupted machines lay on the other side. “This is the easy way in.” She muttered to herself. 

“This is the back way. I didn’t say it would be easy,” said Sylens.

Aloy counted three Watchers and a Longleg. The Watchers she could take down as long as she stuck to the tall grass and caught them unaware, but the Longleg would be a bit more difficult. She dosed herself with an antidote, not wanting to have to deal with the corruptions sickness and the Eclipse. She’d done that once already. It wasn’t an experience worth repeating. 

Creeping through the tall grass, focusing on the Watchers paths, brought back the memory of the first time she did this. Teb had fallen from a brave trail and was surrounded by an entire swarm of Watchers. Rost had tried to stop her from rescuing the boy but only succeeded in disarming her. She had been six and even then, she remembered everything Rost had taught her about how to avoid detection. 

Aloy stroked the bone necklace at her throat. Would she ever stop missing him? Would she ever stop thinking about him? No, she wouldn’t. Not while Helis still lived.

The Longlegs proved to be as much of a problem as she thought, vaulting over her to shove her to the ground. She aimed at the machine’s breastplate, knowing she could explode the canister that lay beneath, but as she tore the final piece from the mechanical bird, it toppled, landing on her legs. 

It took her a moment to relieve herself of the dead weight. She was lucky to walk away with no injury, other than a few scrapes. But the time it took for her to get out from under the Longleg was enough for the corruption antidote to wear off. There had been so many machines in the clearing that she kept running into their trails. She only had one more antidote left, and she didn’t want to use it until she saw more of the machines. The damage one could do on impact was far worse than whatever trail they’d left behind.

On the crest of the next hill stood another Longleg. Aloy decided she would avoid confrontation with this beast and stuck to the tall grass. She could see the ridge and the way up and assumed this was where Sylens wanted her to go. She climbed steadily to the next crevice she saw. 

As she neared the next clearing she began to hear explosions. She muttered something about it and Sylens told her to ignore them, as they didn’t concern her. 

She hated that he would dismiss her worries over what she may be walking into. He knew about this base. She didn’t. It was growing ever more frustrating to deal with someone who had no concern for her well-being. She was the one risking her life, not him. She was the one who would have to face whatever was causing those explosions. She prayed to the All-Mother that she would not be facing down another Deathbringer. She had just recovered from her last encounter. 

Over the ridge, a group of Scrappers stalked about. She laid some blast wire and waited as each Scrapper met their end. The explosions were growing louder, which could only mean she was heading in their direction. What was Sylens making her walk into?

Two more Scrappers lay on the other side of a small stream. Aloy stayed silent and made her way to another patch of grass. As each one neared her she took them down with her spear.

“You’re getting close now. Head for that ridge,” Sylens said.

She spotted it and made her way up the climb. 

“The Tallneck is just over this ridge. You’ll see it when you reach the top. Now, be ready to act fast. You need to get in and get it done before they raise the alarm.”

Aloy made her way to the edge of the ridge but was stunned by what she found. “Are you getting this? I see the legs of a Tallneck, but no Tallneck.” How many men, how much effort, would it take to disassemble a Tallneck and move half of it elsewhere, and why?

“Damn. The transmitter had been moved. Check down the ravine to the left. Only place it could be.” 

Toward the explosions? Was he serious? “So much for your insider knowledge.”

“You’ve got exactly one shot at this, Aloy. So spare the sarcasm and make it count. You see that bridge over the ravine?”

“Yep,” she growled. Goddess she was sick of the man on the other side of her focus.

“Memorize its location. That’s your way out.”

She spotted the rappel point in the center of the bridge. Good location, over water, easy enough. She jumped down, landing with as little noise as possible, but the explosions sounding in the not too far off distance covered her grunt as her feet hit the ground. There were many Eclipse troopers in the camp, but not as many as Aloy would have expected of a main base of operations. This must be an outlying part of the base, or the rest of the Eclipse were off doing something else. She hoped that whatever happened, they wouldn’t be able to summon reinforcements. 

Just as she expected, many of the men were carrying blaze canisters on their backs. She knew she’d made the right decision in wearing her Carja armor. She lifted her bow, flame arrows ready, and set her sights on the first tank. The explosion alerted the nearby troopers, but the rest went about their own business. She waited in the grass for her next target and as he approached, she leaped out of her cover and drove her spear into the man’s belly. 

The next trooper came in behind her, and she crouched again, waiting for him to lose sight of her and she struck as he was almost over her. She spared a moment to wish Nil had come along. This would be over much quicker. Her slow pace through the camp was not the fight she wanted, but she couldn’t expose herself and have the entire camp come down on her. So, she made her way to the right of the ridge, dropping onto her next victim and slicing his throat. Nil would have like that. It wasn’t often she got her hands dirty. 

Three more troopers stood on the other side of the bridge, one packing a blaze tank. At the moment, they were separated, but she’d noticed they would cloister together every now and then, so she waited. When all men were in position, she fired her flame arrow into the tank and all three went up in an inferno. 

Now, to get to the Tallneck. Aloy backtracked trying to find her way in, but the gate was barred and there wasn’t a good place to climb. She flipped on her focus and scanned the area. There wasn’t much to help her out. She spotted some recording devices, Helis’ armor, and a few supply caches, but no way around the deep ravine. 

She made her way, back to the tent with the recording devices, all the while having Sylens tell her she was wasting her time. She wondered if he was watching her, or taking note of what she was tracking and recording into her own focus. In the spirit of saving time, and appeasing the irritated Sylens, she decided not to listen to the recording just yet. She would save them for later. 

Then she spotted it. A dead tree that was already leaning over the ravine. If she could push it over, she may have a makeshift bridge to her destination. She put her shoulder into the weakened trunk and gave it a hard shove. The tree snapped but stayed rooted and she only hoped that the newly fallen bridge would hold her weight. 

The sound of explosions grew ever closer, ratcheting up Aloy’s nerves. She could only think that with every step she was drawing closer and closer to danger, and a danger she may not be able to escape. If the blasting was any indication and knowing what she did about the Eclipse, she was sure to be walking into a place full of the ancient war machines. She voiced her concerns, only to have Sylens tell her to stop complaining. 

The Tallneck stood, encased by wooden beams and platforms leading all the way up to its circular head. She climbed the ladders, making her way to the top, but was not prepared for the sight that awaited her.

The Eclipse surrounded a massive orb. The corruption pulsed around it and Aloy knew instantly what she was seeing. Hades. Sylens had sent her to the very thing that wanted her dead. Wasn’t the point of this mission to avoid doing exactly that?

“Aloy, open the modules casing, now!” 

“It’s… It’s a Metal Devil.” Aloy couldn’t keep the shock from her voice. She was nearly frozen on the spot. 

“Aloy! Do as I say or all is lost!” 

That woke her from her trance. He was right. She had to complete this mission or they would never get into the ruins at Sunfall. She approached the module, examining it for weak points.

A shocking blast sent her flying backward, nearly toppling over the Tallneck’s disc.

A disturbing voice echoed through her, “Entity has come here?”

A ball of red corruption formed in front of her. It had climbed the wire attaching the module to the ground. Just being in its presence was bringing a pounding in her temples. How did the Eclipse do this? How could they stand to be around something so vile it infected everything around it?

“Entity… miscalculated,” the growling metal voice said. “Entity cannot destroy me. I am beyond its reach.”

Aloy had only one choice. She had to see if her spear could override the module Hades had climbed to reach her. “Maybe you are, but this isn’t!” She drove her spear into the focus module and was instantly rewarded in seeing her blue light counter the corruption of Hades’ red. 

She had only a moment to revel in her small victory before Hades sent out a call. 

“Destroy the Entity!”

Aloy felt a moment of panic as a Deathbringer approached the Tallneck. It fired a single shot, knocking the platforms over and causing the Tallneck to topple with her still on top. Aloy couldn’t keep her footing. She slid over the disc. She tried grabbing hold of anything, but there weren’t any parts of the Tallneck that could stop her descent. Finally, she stopped trying and started looking for a way off of the slippery head. 

Just as the Tallneck was about to crash down, Aloy vaulted to the nearby ridge. She wondered, for a moment, if she would actually make the jump but as the Tallneck’s head collided with the ground, it sent an explosion that pushed her body far enough she was able to get a handhold. 

She had a moment to breathe, but it was not a good idea to stay exposed on the ridge. She knew every Eclipse agent now knew where she was. Luckily, the mountain provided some much-needed assistance. She could see a path laid out before her and she made a mad dash along the ridge, jumping to each new handhold and ignoring the shots that volleyed her way. 

“Aloy,” Sylens screamed in her ear. “Keep moving or you’ll die.” Was that genuine concern she heard in the man’s voice?

She ran as fast as she could. Jumping ravines and scaling the side of the mountain. 

“Keep moving!” Sylens screamed again.

“What do you think I’m doing? Taking a nap?” She knew Sylens wouldn’t appreciate her sarcasm, but she was growing increasingly angrier. She felt like she had been set up. As if this was all a ruse to get her caught. It grated on her nerves with every step, with every blast of cannon fire.

She crested the ridge, leading back to the camp and her escape, but her path was littered with more Eclipse than she’d ever seen in one place.

“Are you kidding me?” She screamed the question.

“Aloy, don’t fight. Just keep running!”

Sound advice, for sure. She pushed through the troopers, ducking and dodging their advances. She took the slip wire back to her destination. The camp was full of bodies, but she moved through them as fast as she could. When she reached the bridge, she knew all she had to do was jump. Her rope would see her the rest of the way to safety. 

As she slid down the rope, a sense of relief washed over her, but it was short-lived. The bridge above her went up in an explosion of blaze, causing her to lose her anchor and fall the rest of the way down the ravine. 

The only thing that kept her from dying was the fact that she had landed in the water. The impact was a hard one and succeeded in stealing her breath, but she could still swim. 

Angry and frustrated, she set her feet in moving back to her camp. This part of her mission was over and she just wanted to get back to Nil and get the hell out of here. What had Sylens been thinking in sending her to the base? Why had he sent her to Hades himself? Did he want her to come face-to-face with her demon? 

She growled and huffed to herself. One day, one day she would have the man standing in front of her. One day, she would be able to punch the man in his cocky, conceited face. 

Aloy’s focus chimed, and the man she now wanted dead, almost as much as Helis stood before her. 

“Rough going, but you survived.”

His calm and collected voice set Aloy’s nerves further on edge. “You knew Hades was there and you sent me to him?” 

“I won’t deny I risked your life. But it was the only way.”

They stood and argued about trust and secrets, or Sylens did. Aloy was too worked up to say much of anything. She just stood and listened. He explained that they now had the opening they needed to find the answers within Sunfall’s ruins. 

And just like that, without hesitation, he was gone. 

Aloy made her way back to the camp, her frustration nearly abated. The sun had not yet risen, so she hadn’t lied to Nil. At least she could be thankful for that. But one thing weighed on her mind. Sylens was always willing to risk her life to get what he wanted. Would going to Sunfall still be just as dangerous as it had always been? Had he sent her there for his own benefit? She was beginning to feel less like an ally, and more like an instrument. He did what he could to help her succeed, but to what ends? The man never showed up himself. She didn’t even know where he was. She knew focuses could reach over vast distances now. He could be anywhere, working for anyone. She doubted it was the Eclipse, and he said he served only his own interests, but how could she trust that?

When she reached the campfire, Nil had a slab of boar meat roasting over it. She hadn’t realized she’d not eaten anything since that morning and her stomach grumbled at the smell. Without saying anything, she began removing her armor. She was wet, frustrated and growing cold. Nil sat with his knees bent under him in nothing but his purple trousers. His body glistened as if had recently returned from bathing himself.

In her silk top and leggings, she knelt down in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed one hand on her waist and the other on the swell of her bottom. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her everything would work itself out, but he was not the man to do that. She raised herself up to meet his lips, then rested her forehead against his as she caught her breath. 

“Rough going, I take it.”

Aloy only nodded, bringing her fingers up to play with his curls. He moaned, and she brought her lips back to his. She kissed him slowly and passionately. She needed the comfort of his arms if nothing else.


	24. Let's Be Us Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy returns to Meridian.
> 
> Avad song inspiration:  
> Almost Is Never Enough - Ariana Grande, Nathan Sykes
> 
> Erend song inspiration  
> Let's Be Us Again - Lonestar

Meridian loomed on the horizon. The spire rose to touch the sky, its silver blade shining in the glaring sunlight. The Palace of the Sun stood on its mesa overlooking the entire valley. Aloy stood on an adjacent mesa not too far away, taking in the city. She wanted to go back, to tell Avad of the threat the Eclipse posed to the city, but she wasn’t even sure what the threat was. He would have questions. Would she have answers? Somehow, telling him that the Shadow Carja had plans to take back Meridian via the Eclipse seemed redundant. Everyone knew the Shadow Carja felt like they had rights to the city. The only new information she had was the fact that the Eclipse were behind the corrupted machines. She supposed that was enough of a revelation that Avad surely needed to know. 

She climbed from her perch with a sigh. Confronting Avad wasn’t going to be easy. There was still so much left unsaid between them. He hadn’t been the one to tell her he loved her. She’d heard that from Erend. She hadn’t been able to confront him about it because he’d disappeared. 

Aloy mounted her Broadhead and pointed it to Meridian’s gates. Nil had left when they came in view of the city, stating he’d be scouting out their next target. They had heard about another bandit camp out close to Sunstone Rock. Aloy had made a mental note to go check out the prison herself. She wanted to see the place he’d been forced to spend two years of his life. It was a prison under Avad’s rule and she wondered if the commanders there would follow in Avad’s example, being kind and forgiving in nature, or if it was what she imagined a prison would be like. A cruel and punishing place. The Nora didn’t have prisons. They had exiles and outcasts. 

As she entered the gates, she was once again overwhelmed by the noise and the scents of the city. Merchants shouted, all trying their best to be heard over the din of voices. Performers danced, sang, and played music for coin. Herbalists ground their wares, sending wafts of fresh herbs among the scents of traders selling spices and fruits. She stopped at one of the stalls and purchased a large glass of orange juice. The bittersweet tang causing her mouth to water, but giving her some relief from the heat. She wanted to take the elevator down to the little bakery, but she knew she was stalling. 

Gathering her courage, she forced her feet to take the path to the palace. Since saving the city, the guards at the bridge had begun to give her small salutes and she nodded to each, in turn, with a smile. It was strange, this show of respect. She knew she had earned it, but she had only been doing what she knew was right. Yet, she had saved their King, had tried to save their Captain. Still, she didn’t feel heroic. She felt like Aloy. The same girl who would take a stand for anyone who was in trouble, king or not. 

She crested the steps to Avad’s balcony and was greeted by Maraud. “Hello, Aloy. What brings you to the palace?”

“I need to speak with Avad. I have some urgent news.” 

“I’m afraid he is entertaining nobles at the moment, but he should be done soon. Would you like me to call for some refreshments while you wait?”

Aloy nodded. She was getting hungry. She just hoped that Baniti didn’t bring her more pomegranates. She still hadn’t developed a taste for them, but they seemed to grace every tray sent to Avad. 

She didn’t have to wait long. Avad and his companions emerged from a part of the palace she had never been. She recognized the man at Avad’s side but couldn’t remember his name. He was the noble she had assisted in retrieving his family’s sword. She had spoken to him about assisting the needy in Sunfall. Was he there to petition Avad for further aid? She hoped so. She had not yet made it that far west, but she’d heard a few stories about the plight of those not in the city itself. It seemed that if you weren’t part of their army, you were dispensable.

“Aloy,” Avad said, his voice full of surprise as he noticed her presence. He turned to his companion dismissing him. 

The noble left without a fuss, nodding to Aloy in recognition.

“What brings you to the palace?” He was smiling.

“A threat.” She hadn’t meant to state it so bluntly, but she wanted to get this part of the conversation out of the way.

Avad’s smile faltered. This would be the third time she’d shown up to deliver bad news. She hoped he didn’t start to assume that this would be the only reason she would show up unannounced on his doorstep. 

She told him about the Eclipse, their control of the machines, and their plans to take back the city. He questioned her about what she knew, but when she had little to offer he sighed in resignation. 

“I will speak with Maraud. We will set up a defense but, Aloy, we don’t really know what we will need to defend, where they will attack or when. We need more information.”

“I know, and I will do my best to get it. I am still searching for the answers. I just thought you should be alerted to the danger. I don’t want anything to happen to you while I am off doing other things. I wanted to make sure you would be okay. If you knew about this threat, I thought it would at least put you a step ahead of your enemies. They will have lost the element of surprise.”

Avad gave her a strange look. His head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed slightly. “You wanted to make sure I would be okay?” There was an undeniable emphasis on the word ‘I’. 

“Of course, Avad. I care about you. You’ve been through enough. I don’t like that you have so many threats constantly looming over your head.” She could feel her cheeks flush. She turned her eyes from his, focusing on picking the dirt from under her fingernails. The strange look he was giving her was making her uncomfortable, much like her first days in his presence. 

He took a seat on the couch adjacent to hers. “Aloy,” he whispered softly. “I want to apologize. When I brought you to the palace, I shouldn’t have been so forward with you. I knew about you and Erend, but I kept telling myself it was obviously over between you two. I never meant to hurt either of you. Will you forgive me?”

She stood then, making her way to his side and taking a seat next to him. She was fully aware that this was the exact position she had taken when trying to comfort him after Ersa’s death and the irony wasn’t lost on her. “Avad, there is nothing to forgive. You were there when I needed someone to lean on. You have been kind and generous. If you regret being with me, that’s a different story, but I don’t regret being with you.” She took his hand in hers, her thumb tracing circles on his skin. “I meant it when I said I care about you.”

It wasn’t fair, she knew it. It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t fair to Erend, but she would not sit in front of Avad and let him believe she regretted her actions. She wouldn’t let him think she didn’t love him. 

He looked at her with a sad smile, and it broke her heart. She wanted nothing more than to kiss his pain away. 

“Erend told me something. He said you gave your blessing for us to be together. Why?” 

“Because it wasn’t my place to interfere with what you two had.” He sighed and pulled his hand from hers, lifting it to his face. He brushed his temples with his fingertips and then the bridge of his nose.

“I went to his house the day he returned from Mainspring. I saw your things there. He was on the couch holding your bow and there were tears in his eyes. He said he thought you would come back and I knew you were in the city. I didn’t tell him. At the time, I thought I was protecting him in case you didn’t show up at his door. Now, I see my motivations may have been a bit more selfish.” 

Aloy didn’t know what to make of this. Did he really think he hurt Erend intentionally? “Avad, you can’t think like that. You couldn’t have known what Erend would do. And I find it hard to believe that you would hurt someone out of spite or jealousy.”

Avad stood and paced a small semi-circle around where she sat. “Aloy, don’t you understand? I knew. I knew you were with him. I saw you standing outside his house and I knew you loved him. Why else would you be so hurt? And then I took advantage of you. I knew you were vulnerable and I used that to my advantage.”

Aloy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He thought he had manipulated her? Did he not recall that it was she who took his hand and guided them to the palace? Did he not remember her invitation to the baths? Had she been hurt? Yes, but Erend had made it clear he didn’t want to be with her. Why was everyone around her telling her how she should feel? Why was everyone trying to steer her footsteps? Were her action not her own? Did she lose her mind somewhere along the path to Meridian? No!

“Avad, do not stand in front of me and discount my actions. They were my own to make. I was the one who initiated this, not you. Don’t make me an excuse to think less of yourself. I won’t carry that burden. I wanted you. This, what we have, has nothing to do with Erend. I was drawn to your kind heart, your compassion, your levity, from the moment we met. If you want an excuse for what happened between us, let it be that Erend walked away from me and I saw my chance with you. Not the other way around.”

Avad stopped pacing. He stood in front of her, and for the first time, actually looked shocked. 

Aloy stood; she’d had enough of this conversation. She didn’t want to fight with him. She had come to tell him about the Eclipse and to see if what Erend had told her was true. It apparently wasn’t. All he could do was apologize and make himself out to be some sort of villain. “Avad, I care for you, but you told Erend to come find me, to apologize. I accepted his apology.”

She turned to walk away, but Avad gripped her arm stopping her. His eyes met hers and Aloy could tell there was something he wanted to say, but instead of speaking he pulled her into his body and kissed her. 

Aloy broke the kiss with her palms on Avad’s chest. She pushed his body just far enough away that the temptation to continue would be lessened. “Avad, the next time you send someone after your lover, make sure they don’t love you back.” 

She turned on her heel. She didn’t want to be in his presence anymore. It was too hard. She felt like a child’s toy being tossed about by clumsy hands. At first, he was sorry for being with her. Then he made himself out to be some manipulating asshole. Then he took her words to heart. And, then – then he kissed her. 

What was happening? This was not how she had thought this conversation would end, or begin, and the middle was just as confusing. All she had wanted was to know if Erend was telling her the truth about Avad loving her. He had never actually said the words himself. But how could someone be sorry for being with someone that they loved? 

 

Aloy opened the door to Erend’s house. He wasn’t home yet and so she decided to take a shower. She stripped off her armor, laying it just outside the bathroom door. Inside the room, Erend’s glass reflected her worn and tired visage. After her battle with the Eclipse, outrunning cannon fire, and flaming arrows, and then falling down a waterfall, she hadn’t felt this beat. She thought, for the first time, that maybe running off and bandit hunting with Nil forever might be the solution to her trying to figure out the ups and downs, the chaotic and ever-changing minds and emotions of those around her. She could just walk away from it all, from Meridian, from Avad, from Erend. It would all be easier. 

It was a lie. She knew it even as she thought it, but it didn’t change the fact that she wasn’t entirely wrong. With Nil, there wasn’t a whole lot of guesswork. He was a single-minded being. To say he was simple wouldn't quite give the full scope of what he was, but at the moment, he was much simpler than anything else she knew. Bandit Hunter wouldn’t be a complete change from Machine Hunter. 

Aloy pulled the knob that released the heated water. She remembered that spinning it left or right would adjust it to the temperature she wanted. When it was finally warm enough to turn her skin slightly pink, she stepped into the stream. The water cascaded over her body, spreading its warmth and drowning the aches in her shoulders and neck and releasing some of the tension building in her head. Her mind focused on the course of the water as it slipped down her back, slid over her belly and pooled at her feet. She focused on the on the weight of her hair as she leaned back to coat the tendrils. 

By the time her shower was over, she had finally come back to a sense of herself. She felt refreshed, almost as if the last hour hadn’t happened. She was starting to believe there was more than just water pumping through Meridian’s pipes. 

She hadn’t taken the time to look around when she had first walked in and was shocked to find that the room looked nothing like it had before. Gone were the piles of dirty laundry. Gone were the empty bottles of Scrappersap. And she didn’t see any of her things. Where were her extra blaze canisters? Where were her machine scraps? Taking in the cleanliness of the room, she wondered if maybe Erend had moved them out of the way, but to where?

She made her way up the stairs. Erend hadn’t stopped at the living room. His loft was spotless, as well. His bed was neatly made, there weren’t armor pieces and dirty tunics spread all over the floor. Even his nightstand looked as if it had been scrubbed down. She spotted a dresser that she hadn’t noticed before and began opening drawers. Everything was neatly folded and tucked away, but still, none of it was hers. 

She opened the closet and in it hung all of Erend’s tunics, cleaned and pressed, along with some extra trousers, his boots and an assortment of other things. 

Aloy was growing more and more confused by the second. Had he gotten rid of her stuff? Was this his way of showing her she wasn’t welcome here anymore? Surely he could have changed the lock if that were the case. What was going on?

Laughter came from the other side of the door and Aloy heard the key slip into the lock. 

“Man, you should have seen it. Fourth time this week. I swear, I don’t know what has gotten into the Carja Nobles, but to be doing that in view of everyone?” 

Erend laughed, “Hey, to each their own. But let’s try to keep incidents down to a minimum. I’d hate to hear what Avad would say if he caught wind of this.”

Aloy grabbed one of Erend’s tunics and slipped it over her head. She lost the course of the conversation going on below her until Erend spoke again.

“Uhh, hey guys. I think I am going to have to pass on drinks tonight.”

“Aww, come on Cap. This is the first time you’ve agreed to go out with us in weeks. What could… Ohh.” 

“Hello, Aloy,” one of the men called from below her.

She peeked over the balcony railing to find three of Erend’s Vanguard standing in his living room. She waved and all sent beaming smiles up at her and then back to their Captain. Erend was holding up her vest. That must have been the clue that gave her away. 

“Catch ya later, Cap.” All three men turned to leave, but the last one turned back to her as he reached the door and blew her a kiss. 

She couldn’t help but smile. She still hadn’t learned their names and every time she saw them, she swore to herself that she would get to know these men. They knew her, respected her most of the time and treated her like one of their own. She’d fought side-by-side with them, traveled with them, but she never actually introduced herself. 

Erend climbed the stairs. “Hey, you. I like your outfit.”

Outfit? She looked down at her body, and sure enough, Erend’s tunic looked like a dress on her. “Well, I hear it’s all the rage in the Sundom. Steal your man’s clothes, slap on a belt and a nice necklace. Effortless.”

He smiled and closed the distance between them. “I’ve missed you.”

She gave him a mock scowl. “Oh really, because it seems to me, you’ve gotten rid of me.” She gestured to the clean room. 

Erend laughed, it was soft and pleasant. “I want to show you something.” He took her hand and led her to the other side of the loft. 

They stood outside a door, and Aloy wondered if she was being introduced to Erend’s Oseram god. The thought made her laugh. She knew better, of course, but he had an almost reverent expression on his face. 

“Open it.” He nodded to the door.

She placed her hand on the knob almost hesitantly. What could be in there that had him so worked up? As the door clicked open, she turned to him and he gestured for her to go inside. 

The light inside the room was dim, but the sight before her stole her breath and brought tears to her eyes. Her hands lifted to cover her mouth as her eyes scanned the small room. A workbench lined one wall and above it was shelves stocked with blaze canisters, wire, echo shells and many other parts she spent hours scrounging for. Off to the side there were two large barrels with bundles of ridge-wood shafts. Below the bench were metal canisters of every variety. 

On the other side of the room, there was a small sofa and a bookshelf. She had never seen so many books in one place. She could read glyphs, but she knew Erend couldn’t. These were treasures from the Old Ones. 

“A gift, from Olin and Avad. He found them on a dig and thought you’d like them. Avad insisted on paying handsomely for them. 

“These are paper and leather. How have they not decayed? Why aren’t they falling apart?”

“Beats me. Olin said something about breaking a seal, but I didn’t understand half of it. And your clothes and armor are in the extra dresser in my room. I wanted you to feel like this was your home, too.”

A tear slipped from her eye as she turned to wrap her arms around Erend’s neck. “You didn’t have to do this. I’ve always felt at home here.”

He held her tightly, as if afraid to let go, and buried his face in her hair. “Good. That’s good.”

 

They made dinner together, Erend teaching her how to cook something other than roasted meat. She was surprised to see this side of him. She hadn’t thought about what dinner at home might look like. They chopped up vegetables, boar, and herbs and threw them all into a pot to sit over the fire. She’d had stew before, but only when Rost made it and she never really knew what went into it. Erend told her they had to wait for it to bubble for a while before it would be ready.

They passed the time talking about Aloy’s adventures. Aloy had taken a seat on the couch and Erend lay shirtless across the cushions with his head in her lap. She played with his Mohawk as she spoke. She told him about the Grave Hoard and how she’d been injured, that being part of the reason it took her so long to come back. She told him about Nil’s assistance, and how he helped her get back on her feet and helped her save Naoka. He wasn’t too thrilled about hearing the Carja’s name mixed amongst her tales, and honestly, she couldn’t blame him. She told him about her run-in with the Eclipse and Hades, and about Sylens. She even told him about meeting with Avad earlier that day.

By the end of her tales, they were both tired and ready for bed. Erend led the way up the stairs. Aloy was about to pull the tunic over her head when Erend’s hands stopped her.

“Leave it on. I like seeing you in my clothes.” He kissed her forehead before crawling into bed.


	25. The Vanguard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy spends a day with Erend and wants to meet the men he works with.
> 
> #Ereloy

“You know, it has occurred to me, on multiple occasions, that I have never learned the Vanguards’ names. I have spent so much time with them, but know nothing about them. I always feel bad about that when they treat me like a close friend or like one of them.” Aloy lay on her side, propped up on her elbow as she ran her hand through Erend’s chest hair. They had been in bed most of the morning, but Erend had the day off and they wanted to take advantage of every moment they got today.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed. They adore you.” Erend smiled. He placed his hand over hers and brought her knuckles to his lips. 

She ran her fingers through his partial beard, causing Erend to close his eyes and a soft moan to pass his lips. She was thoroughly enjoying petting him. He was so responsive to her touch, even if it was nothing more than her running her fingers over his face, or his chest. It seemed that he didn’t care if the touch was sexual; he just wanted to feel her hands on his body. 

“Maybe later tonight, I can round them up and we can all have dinner at the Tavern. They’ve been trying to get me to go, but I figured if I was going to live up to my promises, I’d just steer clear.” Erend lifted his hand to her face, cupping her cheek, and sliding his thumb over her bottom lip. He pulled her down into a soft kiss.

He pulled away with a smile. “It’s funny. I’ve always relied on alcohol to relieve stress. Now, I still want it, but I’ve been forcing myself to do a little extra training, or make a few extra rounds before coming home.” 

“Is it a good idea to go then? I don’t want to put you in a position where you are uncomfortable.” Aloy couldn’t stop the concern from showing in her voice or on her face. She’d spent more time with Erend while he was drunk than sober. And even then, he wasn’t in his right mind. Grief was a horrible thing to watch, and in her few short months since leaving the Embrace, she’d seen plenty of it.

“You’ll be there. I think that will be enough to keep me in line.” 

She poked him playfully in the ribs. “I thought Ersa was the only one who could keep you in line.”

“She used to be. But after what she said, and what you said, I knew I wasn’t doing myself any favors. Avad trusts me. He needs me. I knew taking her place would be hard, but it would have been much harder if you and her hadn’t shown me that there was more to me than a drunken idiot.” His eyes met hers. They were full of hope. 

Aloy’s heart constricted. She couldn’t believe that this man was taking everything she’d said so seriously. She had told him to change for himself, and it seemed he had done just that. He wanted to be more than he’d been. He wanted to earn his men’s trust and hers. He wanted to make Ersa and Avad proud. 

“Well, Captain. I am starving. We are going to have to leave this bed eventually or I am going to start trying to eat you.” She bit his bicep gently.

“Hmm. That doesn’t sound like a completely horrible idea. Which parts would you devour first?” 

Aloy punched him playfully in the belly, and he scrunched his body, feigning injury. “I thought you said you were going to eat me, not beat me up.”

Aloy threw the blankets off of them. She hopped to her feet and made her way over to the small dresser holding her clothes. She stripped off her makeshift nightgown and slid on her leggings. Erend came up behind her and gripped her hips, pulling her back into his body. Fanning her hair to one side, he placed tiny kisses on her shoulder and neck.

“Erend, if you start that, we will never leave this house.” Her belly chose that moment to grumble in protest.

“Alright, alright. I’ll feed you.” He pats her belly as if he were talking to it and not to her.

 

Aloy had never ventured into any of the local alehouses or the smokehouses, but Erend seemed to know every one. He told her what each one served and asked her what sounded best. She was tempted to go with what she knew and tell him the bakery was fine, but she knew he was trying to introduce her to something new. And she wouldn’t be satisfied with just sweets and coffee. 

They settled on a smokehouse. The aromas luring her in. She had never seen a place like it. Meat hung from racks in the back and stoves lined one wall of the establishment. The people manning the stoves were all sweating profusely. She couldn’t imagine what would possess someone to take a job, here in the Carja heat, around so much additional warmth. She only hoped that someone didn’t keel over while they ate.

Erend ordered their food, Aloy being uncertain of what to expect, or what to order herself. Smoked sausage, pulled pork, fried potatoes and green tomatoes. Aloy had never had a green tomato or sausage, and neither description sounded too appealing, but she trusted Erend’s judgment. After their coffee and meat pies from the bakery, she figured he knew what was good and what wasn’t.

They received their food, and Aloy dug in with fervor. Everything was delicious. The sausage had a spice to it that Aloy found more than appealing. The green tomatoes were fried, but light. They weren’t bitter, as she would have expected of the unripe fruit. And the pulled pork was tender, not like the boar she was used to eating. She left the potatoes for Erend. She’d never been a big fan of them. They were incredibly bland and never made her feel full. 

As they were finishing up, a group of Carja approached the table. 

“You’re the Nora who saved the Sun-King.” The excitement in the Carja’s eyes set Aloy’s nerves on edge. 

She didn’t know what to say or do and looked to Erend for assistance. He smiled and nodded for her to give the man an answer. “I… Uhh… I suppose that is me, yes.”

“Oh, how could we thank you? His Luminance is a treasure. He is so unlike his father. Most of us are so happy to be out from under the fear and injustice of his reign. He has done so much to bring peace to this land. If anything would have happened to him…” The Carja’s voice trailed off. She could see some old pain etched into the nobleman’s face. 

“Avad is a kind and generous man. I would do anything to protect him and his vision of peace. I have heard the whispers of others, saying he is weak, but I assure you he is one of the strongest men I know. It takes strength to build something from nothing. It takes courage to go against what others tell you is right and follow what you know to be right in your heart. Trust him; trust that he will come through for all Carja, for the Oseram, and anyone else who wishes to ally with him.” She placed her hand on the man’s shoulder in what she hoped was a show of solidarity. 

“Thank you, Nora girl. What is your name? I want to tell others what you have said. If they know you hold this opinion of him, maybe we can sway those whispering voices.” The nobleman looked excited. 

She didn’t know what to make of his comment. Why would her word, her opinion, be above anyone else’s? “Aloy.”

The Carja gave her a slight bow. “Aloy of the Nora.”

She hated that. She really wished people would stop calling her that. “No, just Aloy.”

The Carja gave another slight bow before heading out the door.

“See, I told you that they love you. You mean a lot to them. Many of the people in the city still fear what will happen if Avad can’t hold the throne. Many others think it was Ersa who won him the position. They see his compassion as a weakness, not a strength. They don’t understand that a ruler with a kind heart is a better ruler than one who leads with fear.” 

“Change won’t come in a single sunrise,” Aloy muttered.

“What was that?”

“Something Avad told me when we first met. Change won’t come in a single sunrise. He also said he thought change would come if people like me helped him bring it about. Are we completely sure he isn’t an all-knowing Sun-God because I kinda feel like that was a bit prophetic.” She gestured to the door the nobleman had walked through. 

“Hey, can we… Can we not talk about Avad today?” Erend gave her a half smile, but it was enough to let her know where his thoughts had strayed. 

“Sure.”

 

It was Erend’s day off but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from checking in with his people. Her news about the Eclipse had many of the City Guard and the Vanguard on edge. Erend told her they were sending new scouts out every time one came in. So far there was no new information from the West. He told her that even Maraud’s informants had been quiet.

“That’s the next stop on my list,” Aloy informed him casually.

“Wait. What?” Erend gripped her arm and stopped her in her tracks. He stepped in front of her with a look of extreme uncertainty.

“Remember what I told you about hunting down the secrets to Zero Dawn? It seems that I will need to go into the ruins under the Citadel.” 

“Aloy, no. You can’t.”

“Erend, I need answers. This is the only way I can get them. You must know by now that I can handle myself.” He opened his mouth but no words came out so she continued, “Look, you’ve always known that the mission I am on is dangerous. But the Eclipse will never stop coming after me until I find out why they want me dead. I also need to know how to stop the corruption of the machines. This isn’t about me anymore. This is about protecting the people I care about. It’s about protecting everyone.”

His grip on her arm lessened and then fell away entirely. “I know, Aloy. But Sunfall. What happens if you get captured, or killed?”

She knew this was always a possibility, but she never let herself think about it too much. Sylens had risked her life on more than one occasion already. She bit her bottom lip, trying to find something comforting to say to him, but she had nothing. She knew the risks, but what would happen if she didn’t shut the Eclipse down. Meridian would fall, the world with it. What was one person in the face of what could be lost?

Erend sighed, “You already know the dangers, but it won’t stop you from going, will it?”

“I have had very little to fight for, other than myself, for far too long. My… Rost’s last words to me were, ‘The strength to stand alone is the strength to take a stand.’ I want to take a stand. I want to tell these people that their regime is dead and I will stand and fight, even if no one else will. I do want vengeance for his death, but more importantly, I want to protect those I have come to love. I never thought I would have a home, a family, a place that I felt I belonged. Becoming a Brave would have changed some things, but not everything. I would have still been the former Outcast. I don’t think I would have ever been fully accepted into the tribe.” She hadn’t meant to go on a rant, her words running away with her as they tended to do, but when she looked back to Erend he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” He placed a kiss on her cheek and took her hand in his as they made their way through the square and back home.

 

Aloy spent the better part of the afternoon using the crafting room Erend had made for her, while he lounged sleepily on the couch. Her couch was so much smaller than the one downstairs and every time she looked over, she smiled at the fact that his large frame took up most of the space. Every now and then he’d slip off to sleep only to be awakened by the sound of his own snoring. 

“Erend, if you need to rest, you can go to the bed,” she’d said the second time it had happened, but he assured her he was fine where he was and that he wasn’t falling asleep on purpose. 

Crafting was a meticulous art. If she didn’t measure the blaze right for her bombs, or if she spilled chillwater, they would be cleaning up more than spills. It had her undivided attention. She felt bad every time he nodded off. This had to be boring, sitting there watching her as she worked. 

Finally, as the sun was beginning to set, she felt she should stop. The rest could wait until morning. She walked over to Erend and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Wake up, sleepy. I believe we have a date.”

He opened his eyes and grinned. “Yes, best not to keep our company waiting.” He stretched his body, his arms and legs hanging over each end of the small couch. 

Erend went to the bathroom, splashing some cold water on his face to drown out his sleepiness. When he emerged, he did look a bit more refreshed. 

They made their way through the market square, again hand in hand, and Aloy rested her head on his shoulder. She was thoroughly enjoying just being in his company and his small gestures of affection. She spared only a moment to think that, not too long ago, she had taken almost this same route, hand in hand with Avad. Not many people had seen them that night, she knew, but it did make her wonder who saw and if they had, what would they think now that she was doing the same with Erend. 

The tavern was noisy and smelled of stale beer and something else Aloy was afraid to name, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. There were groups of people at tables, playing dicing games, drinking, talking and there were even a few serving girls sitting on the laps of some of the patrons. This made Aloy extremely uncomfortable. She had never seen women act this way. Many of them had their ample bosoms on display; some had a side of their skirts tucked up into their belts, exposing ample thighs. There was something about the scene that made Aloy’s skin crawl. It wasn’t the exposed flesh, per say, but the way it was exposed as if enticing the men in the tavern to touch them.

Erend must have noticed how uncomfortable she was because he leaned in and whispered. “Pay them no attention. They are just doing it for tips. The more they flirt, the bigger the tip.”

“Tip,” Aloy questioned.

“Yeah, some men will leave their waitress a little extra, especially if they think they might get a little extra in return.” Erend wiggled his eyebrows.

Aloy didn’t understand the gesture but followed him to a corner of the room where a few of the Vanguard already had seats. 

“Aloy, Erend, come join us!” 

Aloy recognized him as the man who had called her pretty the night before the Proving. She had seen him a couple of times since then, but she hoped Erend would remember that she still didn’t know any of their names. She was embarrassed that she may have to ask at some point. 

“Hey, Hildir, Sig, Tore.” He nodded to each man.

Aloy smiled, he was ensuring she knew the name of each man before she sat down. It relieved some of her tension. She wouldn’t have to ask their names now. She gave Erend’s hand a squeeze, thanking him for saving her the embarrassment. 

“Aloy, come to see how us riff-raff spend a night on the town?” Tore, the smallest of the three, but still much bigger than Aloy, gestured to all at the table.

“Hey, who you calling riff-raff? We’ve got the Cap here, too.” Sig, the only blonde amongst them puffed out his chest in a show of pride. 

It was obvious to Aloy that his men held great respect for him, even if they liked to harass him most of the time. They all ordered drinks, some Scrappersap but all ordered ale. Erend had called for two pints to be brought over, and when they came, slid one over to her.

Aloy leaned in close to Erend and whispered, “I don’t drink.” She was starting to believe this was now a lie, as she had taken the Scrappersap from Gera and the wine from Avad, but she also felt like she should probably refrain since the last time she had seen Erend she had told him he needed to lay off. 

“You don’t have to drink, just hold the glass and pretend. The boys won’t notice.”

Pretend? Why would she so that? She gave him a questioning look.

“Trust me. They will only poke fun if they think you aren’t drinking, Oseram custom.” Erend winked and took a large gulp from his pint.

“So Warrior Lady, I got a question for you. You think you can take the Captain in a fair fight,” Hildir asked. “Cuz we’ve had an ongoing bet since we left Nora land. I say, yes. Sig says, no chance. Tore here has no opinion, but I think the Captain thinks he can take you.” He raised his mug in Erend’s direction.

“Does he now?” Aloy turned to look at Erend. He was blushing and fiddling with the handle on his mug. 

“I don’t recall saying that.”

“No? I do remember you saying something about being a ‘pretty even match’ the day before the Proving. Or was that just Oseram flirting?” Aloy smiled when Erend turned to her holding his hands up.

He seemed to realize she was goading him. He brought his hands back to his mug. “Well, I had meant in other ways, but I’ve seen you in a fight since then, best not to take my chances.”

Aloy blushed. No one had ever spoken to her like that where others could hear. She didn’t know what to make of it. 

“Aww, Cap, you embarrassed her.” Sig and the others began laughing. 

The jovial tone made Aloy want to laugh, but they were laughing at her. If this were any other situation, she would be offended. It made her a little uncomfortable and made her flush worse. Absently, she took a sip from her mug, forgetting it wasn’t water and immediately began coughing. The brew was bitter and not at all like wine or Scrappersap. It had the aftertaste of what she imagined dirty socks to taste like. 

“That was disgusting. How do you drink this?” She turned to Erend with a look of pure distaste. 

“It’s an acquired taste.” He admitted with a shrug.

“Yeah, one all Oseram acquire.” Sig laughed before downing the contents of his mug. 

“Don’t tell us you’ve never had a beer before.” Tore was looking at her as if she was something he couldn’t puzzle out.

She turned to Erend. He had told her not to let these men know she wasn’t a drinker, but she couldn’t help the fact that what she was holding in her hand was becoming less appealing every second.

“The Nora do not drink. They believe in having a clear head at all times.” She was getting a little tired of having to explain that. She had told Gera and Avad and now the Vanguard. “Since leaving Nora lands, I have had Scrappersap and wine. I didn’t find either of them revolting, but this…” Her words trailed off and she scrunched her nose as she took a sniff of the brew. “This is just gross.” 

They all laughed and ordered another round. All except Erend, he was still working on his first. She slid her mug over to him, not wanting to hurt his progress in controlling his drinking, but knowing she wouldn’t be touching it again. He raised his eyebrows in an ‘are you sure’ gesture, and Aloy nodded. She didn’t want him to waste his money, and she didn’t think two mugs of the brew would turn him into the man who’d fought with her after Ersa. 

She did, however, shoot him a glare when one of the Vanguard handed him a small glass of Scrappersap. That was the stuff she was afraid of. That was the stuff he had been drinking when he broke her bow. That was the stuff he had been drinking when he broke her heart. 

Erend seemed to realize this and gave the glass back to Sig. “Not tonight, buddy.”

“Aww, come on Cap. When was the last time you got tossed with us?”

Erend looked at Aloy then, and Sig let out an, “Oh.”

Aloy didn’t know how much these men knew, but she knew the Oseram were a really open people. They didn’t hold much back in words or in actions. Erend was also the type of person who would just want to get everything out in the open and move on. He had probably told them she was part of the reason he was cleaning his act up. 

She was a little surprised when Sig shrugged and tossed the liquor down his own throat. He seemed to accept Erend’s declination with grace, as opposed to nagging him. It didn’t seem to follow what she’d seen of them so far. To say these men’s actions confused her would be an understatement. 

Sig took his seat across from her and leaned over the table. “Alright, Nora girl. Everyone keeps telling me how tough you are. I want you to prove it.” He planted his elbow on the table and held his hand out to her.

She turned to Erend, even more confused than she was by Sig’s lack of response to Erend not drinking with them. 

Erend burst out laughing. “Sig this isn’t smart. She will break your damn arm.”

“No way. She’s a tiny little thing. How strong can she be?” He waved his hand as if expecting her to take it. 

She turned to Erend again, but he wasn’t helping her. He had his hand over his mouth and was giggling uncontrollably. So she turned to the other men at the table, looking for someone who could explain what was going on. 

“Arm wrestling,” Hildir stated as if that would be explanation enough. 

“What is arm wrestling?”

“Damn, Nora. What did you do to entertain yourselves in the Sacred Lands? You don’t drink, you don’t know how to arm wrestle.” Sig shook his head, but then seemed to remember something and an apology sprung from him. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you were an Outcast. I didn’t mean that.” He dropped his hand bringing it back to his mug and bringing it to his lips.

She turned to Erend, he had a sheepish look on his face, as if he felt Sig’s embarrassment just as sharply. “What is arm wrestling?”

Tore and Hildir took up position across from each other, both rolling up their sleeves to their biceps and placing their elbows on the table. “Here, we’ll show you.”

The two men gripped each other's hands and Sig gave a countdown, “3, 2, 1.” Both men began trying to force the other's arm to move. Aloy noticed that the longer it took them to make any movement, the more a crowd began to gather around them. Everyone in the tavern seemed to be interested in the fact that these two men were in quiet combat with one another.

Erend moved his chair closer to her and leaned in. “It’s a test of strength and stamina. One man could be far stronger than the other and still lose as long as the weaker opponent can hold out long enough for the other to become fatigued. It’s dangerous though. Hold it too long and your muscles can give out, or your arm snaps under the pressure.”

Aloy watched with fascination now. A contest of strength and stamina. She had always been drawn to the Hunting Trials. She liked honing her skills. If this was another way to do it, she was definitely interested. 

The men around her began cheering and placing bets. 

“Erend, who do you think will win?” She looked at him over her shoulder and was surprised at how close he actually was. 

His eyes dropped to her lips for a moment before meeting her eyes. “Uh… I don’t know. These two go back and forth. One wins one day and the other another day. It’s become a bit of a rivalry.”

She smiled as his eyes dropped to her lips again. He was not thinking about the arm wrestling match at all. 

A loud thud brought her attention back to the men. Some of the people who had gathered around them moaned in defeat and others clapped and cheered, having obviously placed bets on the right person.

She turned to Sig then. “Alright, Sig. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

He grinned at her and placed his elbow in the middle of the table presenting his hand to her. Erend came up behind her and adjusted her position, his fingers lingering on her wrist as he spoke, “Your wrist must stay straight, no twisting, and your elbow can’t leave the table. From there, you’re on your own.”

He stepped back and Aloy took a firmer grip on Sig’s hand. Their eyes met across the table and he winked. 

“Alright,” Erend said. “3, 2, 1.” 

Aloy pushed against Sig and he pushed back. He was strong, there was no doubt, but she could see the strain on his arm as he worked to force her arm back. She knew then, all she would need to do was wait, just as Erend had said. He would tire long before she did. 

The people who had gathered around Tore and Hildir now shifted to get a better view of the two of them. She could hear people whispering, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. 

Her arm was beginning to hurt and she now knew why Erend had told her not to turn her wrist or lift her elbow. The temptation to be in any other position was undeniable. 

Just as she was about to give up and give in to Sig’s slow torture, she felt Sig’s arm begin to shake and she saw her opportunity. She pushed as hard as she could and his arm gave. It slammed into the table’s wooden top with a satisfying thud. 

This time there was no resounding clapping or boos, but everyone turned to look at each other with small smiles. Again, Aloy felt like she’d done something wrong and her excitement at winning was quickly diminishing. 

Erend bent down and whispered in her ear, “No one was willing to bet against you. They were all confident you had this one easily.” He gestured to Sig who was rubbing his forearm with a sour look on his face. 

When he looked up, she winked. That brought a smile to his face and he gave her a mock bow. Still seated, the gesture seemed even more silly than it would have had he been standing and they both laughed. 

“Well, boys, I am going to get this one home before she causes any more damage. You have a good night and I’ll see you all in the morning.” He took Aloy’s hand and pulled her to her feet and out the door before she could even say her goodbyes. 

Outside, the desert air was cool and crisp. Aloy was about to run her hands over her arms when Erend gripped them and pushed her into an alcove. She gave a little scream, not expecting him to be so forceful, but his lips on hers covered the sound. His hand came up to caress her neck before gripping her and pulling her closer. His thumb tilted her head back and his lips traced the line of her jaw and down the side of her neck. 

“Erend,” she whispered breathlessly, “Erend, home isn’t that far.”

“Too far,” he growled. 

His hand left her neck and slid under the hem of her shirt. His fingertips skimmed her waist, causing her to squirm against him, but he didn’t stop there. He gripped her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers. 

“Dammit, what is with everyone lately?” She heard a voice say from behind Erend, but his body blocked her line of sight. 

Erend stilled his movement and cleared his throat. “Sorry,” he whispered in her ear before turning around and facing whoever had been speaking. 

“Captain? Oh, I’m sorry. I thought…” The Vanguardsman spotted her. His eyes went from her to Erend and back again. 

“And here I thought it was something with the Carja nobles. I guess love is just in the air.” He gave Erend a playful punch in the arm before turning around. He walked away shaking his head and she could swear the man’s shoulders were shaking with laughter.

“Alright, you win. Let’s go home.”


	26. Conflict of Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some smutty stuff with Erend.
> 
> Aloy and Avad have a heart-to-heart after he learns of her plans to go to Sunfall.
> 
> #Ereloy  
> #Alvad

They barely made it inside the door and Erend had her pinned against the wall. His hands gripped the sides of her neck as his tongue delved into her mouth. He tilted her head to the side, sucking her earlobe and grazing the tender flesh with his teeth. Aloy could feel the need building between them. Erend had been so sweet the last few days but she knew he wanted her. She knew he had held back. It seemed he was done with that. He poured his passion for her into searing kisses on her lips, her neck and collarbone. It sent her heart racing. 

She didn’t know what had triggered his desire, was it sitting so close to her? Was it her show of strength? Something she had done had made his growing need for her undeniable. She desperately wanted to know what it was. 

All thought left her as Erend pulled away to remove her shirt. His head dipped to take her already hardened nipple into his mouth. He lifted and squeezed her breast, adding to the sensation of his tongue gliding over the hardened peak. She could feel the tale-tale wetness between her legs. Erend’s tongue coaxed her need to a fever-pitch. She ran her fingers through the back of his Mohawk, tugging on what little there was, releasing a moan and his lips vibrated around her. 

He stepped back to remove his own shirt and Aloy wasted no time removing her boots and leggings. She needed him and she needed him now. 

Erend did the same, releasing his belt buckle and sliding his pants down. His cock sprang from his trousers causing Aloy to gasp. 

She would never get over the sheer size of him. Every time it was a surprise, almost as if her mind refused to acknowledge it until she had to. Goddess, she wanted him. Wanted every part of him. She wanted his strong arms wrapping around her body. She wanted his soft lips touching her skin. She wanted his grey-blue eyes staring deep into her soul. She wanted this man who had done everything in his power to make her proud to be his. 

She reached for him, calling him back into her arms. His fingers skimmed her waist as he reached around her. His hands at the small of her back forced her hips into his, his cock caught between them. His kiss settled on her lips and his tongue licked playfully over her bottom lip. 

She giggled and felt his cock pulse between them. That was interesting. He liked hearing her laugh. Was that what had set him off earlier? Odd, but she wasn’t surprised. It seemed to fit him that he would find something like that erotic. 

She lifted her leg over his hip, pulling his body flush against hers and rubbing herself along his length. She lifted her hips, stroking him with her sex.

“Aloy,” He growled into her ear.

He pulled away slightly and slipped his hand between them. He stroked her sensitive nub, causing her to toss her head back and into the wall. It wasn’t hard, but it caused her to laugh again, and Erend’s fingers to slip inside her. She gasped, her hips rocking further into him. It felt so good she couldn’t stop the movement and as his fingers stilled she rocked into his hand. Her movement causing her to fuck his fingers. 

Again, Erend’s cock pulsed against her body. “Erend, please,” She begged.

He lifted her leg, bringing her thigh flush with his chest and her ankle just over his shoulder. When he finally entered her, her other foot left the floor, keeping her suspended between the wall and his body. 

He filled her slowly, and she could already feel the building pressure in her core. There was something about the way he stretched her, the way his body took over hers, that stoked her desire to an entirely different level. 

“Goddess,” she breathed into his neck. Her tongue darted out to taste him. Leather and metal, salty sweat and pure, raw masculinity. She loved that he tasted exactly how he smelled. It was purely intoxicating. She didn’t need the ale or the Scrappersap to make her head spin. She nipped at his neck, her teeth scraping gently across his skin. 

She gripped his shoulders as the surge of passion overtook her. Her nails dragging down his flesh, scoring him. He hissed in a breath but didn’t stop his pounding rhythm. She came with such force, she nearly ejected him from her body. 

Erend growled and surged deep into her, sinking to his base, ensuring he was filling her once more. Keeping his strokes deep, he ground his hips into her. Every nerve ending in her entire body felt as if it had been pricked by lightning. Every time he pushed into her, she felt as if there were no way for him to be any deeper. He was surely going to break her, but she didn’t care.

Erend began losing his rhythm and she knew he was about to cum. He kept her body suspended for as long as he could before pulling out. She reached down to stroke him. He exploded into her hand and down her thigh. 

Aloy’s body protested every movement. Her leg and hips were painfully stretched and she couldn’t keep her balance. Instead, she slid to the floor, panting and exhausted. She was going to pay for this in the morning. She could feel the tiny scrapes on her back from being pressed into the wall, her core screamed at the abuse it had just taken. But she would do it again and again. Erend could have his way with her and she would never protest, no matter how badly she hurt the next day.

He came to his knees in front of her. “You okay?”

She smiled and nodded. She was thankful that he understood she would need a moment, a day, to recover. 

When she thought she could stand, she reached for his hand and he pulled her up. They made their way up the stairs, Erend behind her, ensuring her wobbly legs didn’t cause her to trip. 

 

The following morning Aloy kissed Erend as he left for his rounds. She went to her crafting room and began preparing the arrows she had started while Erend was falling asleep on her couch. She smiled to herself as she realized that she wasn’t as sore this time as she had been the first time they were together. Maybe all it took was her body adjusting to his and then there would be no pain after the fact. 

As she was finishing her arrows, placing them into her quiver, a knock sounded at the door. She had no idea who would be calling on Erend in the middle of the day. Everyone who knew him would surely know he was either at the palace or making his rounds. She brushed her hands down the front of her shirt, which was covered in wood shavings and metal dust. Her fingers left more streaks of silver, adding to the mess, rather than taking away from it. She shrugged. Whoever was at the door was just going to have to deal with her appearance. 

She opened the door to find Blameless Maraud standing on the porch’s landing. 

“His Luminance requests your presence.” Maraud’s eyes trailed over Aloy’s disheveled appearance. 

“Right now?”

“Umm… yes, but perhaps he can wait a moment while you clean yourself up.”

Aloy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “What does he want?”

“He only asked that I retrieve you. He didn’t say to what purpose.” Again, his eyes trailed over her. She could see that he was trying to conceal a smirk and it irritated her. 

“Alright, fine. Just… Just give me a minute.” She stepped aside so he could enter the living room.

“Of course.” This time he did smirk. 

Aloy glared at him but he just stood nonplussed. It irritated her even further and she stomped up the stairs to change, muttering about men and their stupid demands. 

When she was in a clean tunic and leggings, her hair piled haphazardly on top of her head, she made her way back down the stairs. Maraud, who had taken a seat on the couch, stood to escort her to the palace.

 

“Sunfall, Aloy you can’t.” Avad gripped her arms.

Aloy thought he might try to shake the decision out of her head, but when he realized what he’d done he dropped his hands from her body and began pacing. 

“This is insane. You can’t go waltzing into the heart of the Shadow Carja. They already want you dead.” 

She had never seen Avad so irritated or animated and it stirred something deep within her. Not affection, not ire, but something akin to both. “Avad, stop.” She placed a stilling hand on his arm. 

“I don’t know why Erend told you about me going to Sunfall, but I assure you, I am not doing this for myself. I am trying to save Meridian. I am trying to save you. I don’t want the world to end when there is something I can do about it.” With her hand on his arm, she pulled him closer, forcing him to really look at her.

“This is something I have to do. There is a lot I haven’t told you about the Old Ones and the ancient ruins I’ve been exploring. One of the reasons I must go is because I am the only one who can.” She searched his eyes for some sign that he understood what she was saying, but he looked even more confused. 

“Aloy, every scout we have sent across the border has died or disappeared. Maraud’s agents have sent no word for months. What little we can devise about the Shadow Carja is that they are still the ruthless killers of my father’s regime. This is suicide.” He cupped her jaw in his hand, his eyes begging her to see reason. 

She sighed and turned away from him. She took a seat on one of the couches and brought her hands to her face, resting her elbows on her knees. “Avad, this search for my mother has led me on an entirely different mission. I know it is dangerous, but I now know why the Eclipse are after me.” She raised her head to look at him. “There was a woman, Elizabet Sobek. She was one of the Old Ones. She did something to stop the derangement of the machines in her time. I haven’t yet discovered what she did, but I am close. The reason the Eclipse want me dead is that I can access the secrets of her work. I… look like her. For some reason, the metal doors that have remained shut for centuries respond to my presence. If I can stop the derangement, stop the corrupted machines, I have no choice but to try.”

Avad stood staring at her for quite some time before he chose to speak. “How do you know you are the only one who can access these places?”

“Because others have tried. No one has been able to get past the doors leading to the places I’ve gone. The Eclipse have come close, but there are still areas not open to them. Even on the All-Mother Mountain, the entity that controls these doors recognized me. It was why I was made a Seeker. The Nora think it is a Goddess, but I have seen too much to believe that.” She had known then that the voice that had spoken to her that day was no goddess. She knew she had only stood in front of a door, and even told Teersa so. But how was she supposed to explain these things to people who had never seen what she had? How was she supposed to make them see that the events unfolding around them were much bigger than Carja factions, or tribal beliefs? 

Avad sat next to her, his posture mimicking her own. His shoulders slouched, elbows on his knees. He lifted his hands to his face and sighed deeply. After a moment he turned his body to face hers. With his leg propped at an angle on the couch and the concern in his eyes, he looked so young, and so unlike a king. Aloy liked him best like this when he dropped all pretenses and was simply Avad. 

“I don’t like it, but I suppose I understand. You will do what you must to protect those you care about. I should know that better than anyone. I never told you this, but I watched you come between me and Dervahl every time he tried to make his move against me. Then, when he called those Glinthawks, I wished I could bring myself to get up off the floor and throw myself between you and the machines. I watched you take hit after hit only to come back stronger, fiercer. It was truly a sight to behold.” He smiled at the memory, and Aloy smiled back.

“I guess what I am trying to say is, I know you are a renowned machine hunter. Your reputation preceded you. Even before I met you, I had heard what you were capable of. I know what happened at the Proving. I know you’ve faced small armies of Eclipse soldiers. I know you’ve taken down Stormbirds and Thunderjaws, but that won’t stop me from worrying about you.” He took her hands in his and she turned to him, mimicking his position on the couch now. 

“Maybe I am being foolish, but I care about you. I know I have done and said things that may lead you to believe otherwise. When I sent Erend to you, I didn’t consider that you may feel for me the way I feel about you.” He let out another heaving sigh and turned his face from hers. 

“It’s not fair, you know.” When he looked at her with confusion filling his eyes, she continued. “It’s not fair to care so strongly for more than one person. I have had no experience with relationships and it seems my heart doesn’t know how to love only one person. I had always been told that I would know when I had found my mate, my equal, but I find it’s not so simple.”

“So, you do love me.” He smiled that sweet, genuine smile that had been missing from his face for far too long. 

“I would think that was obvious.” 

Avad laughed at having his words turned against him. Aloy watched as his body straightened back into his kingly posture. His eyes now filled with the light he usually emanated. Again, she was reminded that most people considered him a Sun-God, and she couldn’t blame them. He was light, pure and burning. He was happiness and compassion in the face of death and destruction. He was the levity holding her above the heaviness of her heart, her mind and her mission. 

Their moment was broken by the sound of boots coming up the stairs. Avad released her hands and stood. Aloy could tell he was preparing himself to put on his kingly mantle. She was thankful for the interruption because she was unsure where their conversation was leading. 

Again, she wondered if one day she would be forced to choose. Would she take the comfort and ease of living with Erend? Would she take on the role of standing next to Avad, helping him see his vision come true and spreading his love and compassion to all people? Would she take the life that was so similar to what she’d always known with a man she desired so deeply but knew so little about? She didn’t know and it made her heart hurt to think of any of these men no longer being in her life, or taking a backseat to the one she did choose. 

“Avad, the scouts…” Erend paused at the top of the stairs.

Upon hearing his voice, she stood and made her way over to him and punched him in the shoulder. 

The look of shock on his face was priceless, but it didn’t satisfy her ire with the man.

“You ass. Why did you tell him about Sunfall?”

He rubbed at the spot she had punched but looked a little less shocked and slightly embarrassed. “It slipped. I didn’t mean to tell him. Once it was out he drilled me about what I knew. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well now there is one more person trying to talk me out of doing what I need to do.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She knew she was overreacting, and letting her feelings override her thoughts, but she needed an outlet for her frustrations and had a reason to be irritated with Erend. He probably didn’t deserve to be punched, and she’d probably apologize for it later. 

“We care about you, Aloy. We don’t want to see you get hurt.” He looked to Avad for assistance, but Avad held his hands up wanting to stay out of whatever was going on between the two of them.

Aloy let out another sigh, she was letting her irritation at herself and her indecision color this fight and she didn’t like it. She knew she was acting more on her conflicting feelings than any real anger at Erend. She didn’t want to take it out on him. Her eyes flitted between the two men before closing her eyes and rubbing her hands over her face. 

She couldn’t help but think this situation was only going to get worse, more complicated.


	27. Hunter's Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy meets up with Talanah and opens up to someone about the men in her life.

“What are your plans for today? Want to meet me at the bakery for lunch?” Erend was putting on the last pieces of his armor and searching for his boots.

“I think you left them downstairs by the door,” Aloy said as he began to grow frustrated. 

This earned her a small smile of gratitude. 

“I have some trophies I keep forgetting to return to the Hunting Lodge. I’ve been avoiding it because I don’t like the Sunhawk. He’s kind of an ass. But it would be nice to see Talanah again.” She brought her knees to her chest and rested her cheek on them as she watched Erend. The sun had just begun to peek through the windows and she still found it amusing to see him up and dressed at this hour. The change in him, since her return, never failed to surprise her. 

“Talanah is good people. It’s a shame about her family. And it’s a shame she doesn’t have any say in the Lodge. She deserved better after what happened.” 

Aloy wasn’t sure what Erend was referring to. She had talked with Talanah about her place in the Lodge but they hadn’t gotten into the details of her family’s history. It drew her curiosity to the forefront and she knew she would be asking Talanah about it soon. 

Erend left, heading for the palace and his duties and Aloy rolled out of bed to equip her own gear. She threw on her Carja leathers, strapped her bow to her back and headed for the Lodge.

Even in the early hours of the morning, the Lodge was a busy place. She had wondered if the many rooms branching off of the main floor housed the Lodge’s hunters. It would make sense. Many of the Nora Brave’s lived in such a way. They shared a bunkhouse in Mother’s Heart and at Mother’s Crown and many of them shared tents when they were on the road. 

Talanah stood at the bottom of the double staircase with her arms crossed over her chest. “Good morning, Aloy. Long time, no see.” She smiled and extended her hand.

Aloy knew that Talanah wanted her to place her hand in the one she had extended. The gesture being a form of greeting among the Carja and Oseram. She had to smile to herself. After months of not understanding why the people around her wanted to touch her, she was growing accustomed the casual touches. A hand placed in another’s, a kiss on the cheek, a warm palm on her shoulder. She was less jumpy about it than she used to be, and she realized, she probably had Avad to thank for that. He was always placing his hand on the small of her back, or touching her face, or even taking her hands in his when he was agitated. 

“Good morning, Talanah. I’ve brought the trophies you asked for.” Aloy dug into her satchel and pulled out one of them to show her.

“Ah, good. Now, take them to Ahsis and show him you are worthy of attaining your spot among us. I’ll wait here.” Her head tilted and she nodded up the stairs. 

Aloy groaned. She had hoped that she wouldn’t have to deal with the grumpy man again. He didn’t like the fact that she was Nora. He didn’t like the fact that she was a woman. Aloy had been tempted to explain to the man that he was backward in his thinking, that women were the ones who stood above men in all forms of rank, but she had come to realize that was only true in the Sacred Lands. The Carja kept their women soft. The Oseram saw women as property. There would be no way to convince this man otherwise. 

She made her way up the stairs with her chin lifted. She would not be hindered by this man and what he thought of her.

“I thought I told you…” Ahsis started, but Aloy didn’t have time to argue and cut him off.

“I’m here to present trophies to the Sunhawk of the Lodge: three Sawtooths, two Ravagers and a Stalker for good measure.” Aloy crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave the man a withering glare. 

Ahsis sighed, “I suppose Talanah helped you with this.”

Aloy was beginning to grow even more frustrated with the man. Didn’t he know who she was? It seemed every other Carja in Meridian did. It wasn’t like there were any other red-headed Nora waltzing around Meridian. “I brought these down myself. Will you accept them?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking her stance and her glare. “Fine, yes. I accept them. But tell Talanah she should stop playing with sludge if she wants to get Redmaw.”

Aloy was tempted to punch the man in the face. But she had been called worse, and she didn’t think punching Ahsis would garner any approval from the other hunters in the Lodge. Talanah, she didn’t think would mind, but if she truly wanted to be a part of this organization, she would have to put up with the man. For now. 

She made her way back down the stairs and smiled when she saw Talanah’s glare turned to Ahsis. She must have overheard a little of what he said. Either that or she hated the man as much as Aloy did. 

“When I gave Ahsis my trophies, he said you should be spending more time hunting Redmaw than helping me.”

“That bunghead isn’t wrong. But there isn’t time to find Redmaw right now. You’re gonna help with something else.”

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh at Talanah’s assessment of Ahsis. “Oh, and what might that be?”

“Meet me outside.” Talanah turned on her heal and headed for the door. 

Aloy followed. They were met by a woman who told them her village was under constant attack by Glinthawks. No one knew why or where they came from or why they kept coming back. Aloy wondered if somehow someone in her village had got hold of one of Dervahl’s lures. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had been able to get their hands on one. 

Talanah explained that the money wasn’t worth Ahsis’s time. Aloy liked the man less and less every day. Did it not matter to him that his people were in trouble? Did he not care that an entire village could be decimated and its people left homeless and possibly starving? She would never understand how some people could be so heartless. First Sylens, now Ahsis. Neither seemed to have a compassionate bone in their body. 

Aloy knew that Talanah had another mission that should be taking priority and offered to do this herself. She wasn’t thrilled about taking on a group of Glinthawks by herself, especially after her battle with Dervahl, but she knew her Hawk was needed elsewhere. Talanah waved it off, telling her that Hawk and Thrush traveled together. 

 

Aloy and Talanah made their way to Lone Light. Aloy had wanted to override a pair of Broadheads, but Talanah seemed to reject the idea immediately. She wasn’t sure if it was because it was a machine, or of it was simply, not wanting to tangle with the unknown. Talanah seemed to be rooted in tradition, even if that tradition wanted to hold her back from her rightful place in the lodge. 

They made small talk along the way, but soon Aloy fell quiet. This was the first time she’d ventured outside the gates of Meridian and not seen a single sign of Nil. She knew he had headed South to scout out the bandit camp, but she had always felt a bit of comfort when his form showed on her focus. 

“What on your mind?” Talanah prodded. 

“It’s nothing.” Aloy tried to give her a reassuring smile but was unsure if it came off that way.

“If something is troubling you, you can talk to me. I’m a good listener.” Talanah gave her a genuine smile. 

Aloy couldn’t help but smile back. She wondered if this was something all Carja were good at. Avad had said almost the same words to her once. She was going to tell Talanah that she was missing her friend and nothing more, but that was not what came out of her mouth.

“Have you ever been in love, Talanah?”

The woman gave Aloy a knowing smile. “Once, but that was long ago, a different life. Why do you ask?”

Aloy didn’t know how to put into words what she had been thinking about, feeling, over the past few months. “How do you know if you have chosen the right person?”

Again Talanah smiled. “I don’t know if it is ever so clear. I’ve always heard that when the right person comes along you will feel it deep in your gut. Some say that you will know when you realize you’ve found another who makes you feel whole, complete. Others say it is a constant desire to be with someone. There are many ways love can present itself. Sometimes you just have to find the person who compliments you, who is your equal in everything. Does that help?”

Aloy kicked a rock down the path ahead. “Not really.”

Talanah’s smile faltered for a moment. “Is there something else that is making you wonder? Some other factor?”

Aloy thought about what to say and what not to say for a moment. She didn’t want to tell someone that she was in love with three people. She didn’t like the idea that someone might use it as a way to think badly of her, but of all the people she had encountered in her journeys, Talanah seemed the least judgmental. “What if you have found all of those things, but not with one person?”

“Ah, a heart divided.” 

Yes, yes. That was exactly it. A heart split evenly in three. Talanah understood. She couldn’t help but smile. “I am in love, but with each man it is different. I have the easy, almost casual romance that seems to satisfy most people with one. But I also have the heart pounding, head spinning passion with another. Then there is one man who is my equal in every way. His goals and ambition line up directly with mine. He is kind, compassionate and would do anything I asked, without reservation.”

“Damn girl. Three men.” Talanah laughed.

Aloy didn’t know what to say to that. She had thought Talanah wouldn’t judge her. 

“I can honestly say I have never been in your shoes, and I don’t envy you. How do they feel about you?”

Aloy twisted her fingers together, a nervous habit she had picked up from Avad. “They all love me, too.”

“Well, if you want my honest opinion, I say love them all. Why should you have to choose? Men are allowed to have a wife and a mistress or two. Why should it be any different for you?”

Aloy laughed. She hadn’t given much thought to simply accepting that she could have all of them in her life. Erend and Avad seemed to accept that they were both a part of her life, however reluctantly. And Nil knew of her attachment to both men, had known from the beginning about Erend. She mulled it over for the remainder of their journey. If she presented this as an option, would she lose all of them? She would be Avad’s Queen, but Erend’s lover. She would have Nil when she left the Sundom. Could she do that? Becoming Queen would make her ties to Avad closer than the rest, and she knew enough to know she would be expected to produce his heir. How would Erend or Nil take that? Knowing she was carrying Avad’s baby. That thought had her nearly shutting down. She wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. 

She knew at some point she would need to weigh her options, but at the moment, she had Glinthawks to kill and a town to save.


	28. Bandit Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy sets out to take down another bandit camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration:
> 
> Kill For You - Skylar Grey, Eminem

When Aloy packed up and left the next day it was not without a fuss. She had to assure Erend and Avad that she was not yet headed to Sunfall. They stood on Avad’s balcony overlooking Meridian. Aloy was tempted to vault over the edge and be on her way. 

With an exasperated sigh, Aloy began to inform them of her plans. “I am headed south to clear out a bandit camp. I received word there was a rather large encampment not too far from Sunstone Rock.” 

Erend scowled at her. He knew she had a partner in clearing out the bandits and he knew she had slept with that partner. She scowled back. She didn’t want or need his judgment. 

“Sunstone Rock isn’t exactly the safest place either,” Avad mumbled, but he didn’t fight her about going. 

“I am aware of the dangers. This isn’t the first time I’ve been south. This won’t be the first bandit camp I’ve taken down. I know there are large machines down there and I am fully equipped and prepared to take on anything that comes my way. Thankfully you have both seen to that.” Aloy crossed her arms in front of her. She was growing irritated with both of them. She didn’t need to answer to them. They knew her mission and of the dangers that came along with it. 

Maraud chose that moment to speak. “Aloy, we have been assessing the threat from the West and we have sent scouts throughout the Sundom. It might be in your interest and in Meridian’s interest that you go to a place called the Free Heap. It is an Oseram community. They have been making remarkable advances on the Oseram cannon. We could use something like that when the Shadow Carja makes their move.”

She nodded and took the coordinates, scanning them into her focus device. “Alright, bandit camp, Sunstone Rock, and the Free Heap. Got it,” she muttered to herself. 

Erend and Avad exchanged concerned glances. “Why Sunstone Rock,” Avad asked.

“I’ve never seen a prison. I want to know what it’s like.” It wasn’t a lie. She didn’t need to tell them it was because Nil had spent two years there. 

She checked her gear one last time before heading out on her way.

 

Avad and Erend watched Aloy leave, neither one making any move to stop her.

“Life with her is never going to be easy, is it?” Erend muttered to himself, not thinking Avad would answer his question. 

Avad thought for a moment before responding. “Would you want it to be?”

Erend turned to him, the look on his face making him wonder if he intended to argue some point with him. He didn’t look angry, more confused. He sighed, “I suppose not. If she wasn’t the firebrand she is, I wouldn’t be interested.”

Avad had to agree. It was hard not to love a woman who could keep you on your toes, who could handle any situation with grace and poise. Once again, Avad thought she would make a fine Queen. 

Aloy had told him she loved him, but it was Erend’s house she slept in each night. He was the one holding her, loving her. He had thought he was giving her what she wanted the day he sent Erend to her, but her words later had cut him, “Make sure they don’t love you back.” Then he’d let his emotions get the best of him and he’d kissed her. Since that day he’d not been able to get Aloy off of his mind. He was constantly distracted. Even with Erend standing in front of him, he wished that just one night, she would return to him. But he was fooling himself if he thought one night would be enough.

Avad took a seat on the couch closest to him and placed his hands over his face, a posture he was becoming more familiar with lately. He knew what he wanted, but he also knew that Aloy and Erend had something he didn’t want to mess up. While she had told him her heart wasn’t content with loving one person, he knew Erend’s was.

Avad’s mood and actions weren’t lost on Erend. He knew that the worry spread across his features and the long sighs were because he truly cared for Aloy. “You really do love her.” He sighed again. “And she loves you, too. Doesn’t she?”

Avad could only nod. He wasn’t going to deny it. It was plain enough to see. 

“What does this mean? Are we supposed to fight now? See who the better man is?” Erend plopped, ungracefully down beside him. 

“Do you think that she would choose one of us based on a test of arms?” Avad smirked. 

“Knowing her, maybe.” Erend returned the smile, but his was dejected. 

Avad turned to Erend. “She chose you. She lives with you.”

“Only because you sent me to her. If you hadn’t, where would we be?”

Avad had thought about that fact more times than he wanted to admit. Would Aloy be, at this moment, preparing herself to become Queen of the Sundom if he hadn’t forced a decision on her? 

“Don’t sell yourself short. She cared about you long before she cared about me. She told me that she would have never been with me if she knew you still wanted her.” That wasn’t completely true, but he didn’t feel the need to tell Erend that she felt his leaving gave her an open door to him. Again, he wondered why he was helping Erend. Was he a glutton for punishment? Was he always going to put the needs of others before his own?

“That may be, but I see the way she looks at you. And I won’t deny she would make a great Queen. Am I a fool to think I could hold on to someone so wild, so unattainable? Sometimes I feel like I am trying to hold sand in my hands. I know she loves me, but I can’t make her stay, to hold still. I have her for a moment and then she’s gone and I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing. But every moment I spend away from her only makes me want her more.”

Avad laughed. He couldn’t help it. He completely understood. It was exactly the way he felt about her. 

 

Aloy had her spear out, cutting away some of the thick brush of the southern jungle. She always found the abrupt change from desert to full, leafy foliage a bit jarring. It wasn’t like the shift from arid, dry heat of the Sundom, to the cold mountains of the Sacred Lands. There was always a gradual drop in temperature between the two. Here, it was hot, dry sand and then wet, thick air filled with bugs and sharp plant life. 

Again she was thankful she had purchased the Carja leathers. Sweat beaded on her forehead and dripped down her back and arms. Her sandals squished through the wet, swampy mud and she was tempted to follow the river to the bandit camp. It would give her some relief from the wet heat, keep her sandals from being caked in stinky, gooey mud and she could stop whacking down the thick greenery. 

She decided to stop and give herself a moment to cool down. She made her way to the river, avoiding the Swampmaws that rested on the other bank. She crouched down and splashed the cool water on her face and arms. She wasn’t far from the bandit camp now, somewhere between it and Sunstone Rock. She flipped on her focus, scrolling through the icons to find the map the Tallneck had given her of the area. She zoomed in on the bandit camp for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was large and spread out, unlike the other camps they had taken down. The layout was confusing, but she assumed she would get a better idea of what she was up against when she got there.

She stood, wiped her wet hands on her leggings, picked up her spear and continued on her journey. She didn’t get much further when she heard raised voices. They were off her path to the camp, but she couldn’t help but be curious. 

The tall grass kept her hidden from view as she approached. There were at least a dozen Carja and a few Oseram. They stood talking animatedly to one another. 

“We should just kill him and be done with it.” One of the Carja began pacing.

It was then that Aloy noticed a man on his knees, bound with his arms behind him. Fire rose inside of her. How could this happen? Who were these men? What were their plans?

“I don’t wish to answer for your blood. My arrows are meant for low-lives and scum. I have no quarrel with you.” Nil growled.

A large Oseram swung his wide fist, connecting with Nil’s lips. When he stepped away, Aloy could see blood. It dripped from the split, over his lower lip and down into the hair on his chin. He turned his steel-grey eyes on the man, now tracking his every move. 

“You murdered, butchered my entire village.” Another of the Oseram spat.

“Not true. I do not kill the defenseless. There is no challenge in that.” He smiled and Aloy only saw red. The blood now coated his teeth. She almost laughed. “A smile through bloodied teeth.” She’d heard Nil use the phrase once. Now she understood just how grotesque his comparison was. 

“Avad was too much of a coward to kill you. He should have thrown all of you into the Sun-Ring when he had the chance.” One of Carja men leveled his spear at Nil’s chest. 

“I would be careful about how you choose to speak of our Sun-King. Some may not take kindly to you demeaning his Luminance.” Nil smiled again, his eyes never leaving the Carja.

Aloy had risen from her crouch in the grass and had her bow drawn on the man threatening Nil. She was ready to loose her arrow if he even so much as flinched. 

“No one here gives a damn about that piece of…” His words were cut off when Aloy’s arrow split his skull.

“I did warn you.” Nil laughed. 

Aloy ducked back down and out of sight. A few fire arrows flew her way, but they didn’t really know where she was, they were guessing. She still had no idea who these men were but she was not going to stand around while they had Nil bound and planned to kill him. They didn’t seem to be Shadow Carja, they bore no masks and they were ill-equipped for soldiers, which only begged the question, how had they captured Nil?

“Come out, you coward and face us like a man!” 

Nil tisked, the sound amplified by the blood still dripping into his mouth. “First, you capture one of her own. Then, you insult her friends. Now you assume she’s a man. You really don’t want her to like you, do you?”

“Shut up, Carja. You’re next.” The Oseram lifted his hammer, ready to knock Nil out, but didn’t finish the motion. An arrow was now embedded in the man’s heart. 

“Really, if any of you had a lick of sense, you would run.” Nil seemed to be enjoying himself, almost as if he liked being the bait in a well-laid trap. 

“Find her! We will deal with him later.”

“Why not kill him now?” One of the Carja lifted his bow but was again quickly dispatched. 

“Because, you idiots, she’s picking off anyone who makes a move against him, if you haven’t noticed.”

As the men dispersed to look for her, Aloy made her way to Nil. She had no desire to kill all of these men. She knew they sought vengeance, but she also knew Nil wouldn’t have made a move against them if they hadn’t gone through the pains of capturing him. 

With the men searching the tall grass, it was easy enough to slip up behind Nil and cut his bindings. She placed his bow in his hands and made a quick dive into the nearby grass. 

Nil stayed crouched on his knees, making no move to draw his bow. “Last chance. I’d give up now and count my losses.”

Aloy knew he was giving them a chance to walk away, a chance to leave this place with their lives. Sometimes she had trouble understanding his twisted moral code. He dispatched bandits without a thought, but he had told her he no longer had a desire to kill anyone who could get him into trouble. The only cage he wanted now was the rules he bound himself to. These men would kill him given the chance, but he didn’t care about that. He cared that they may force him to break his one rule. 

The men were not content to let their mission rest. They continued to scour the area in search of her. Aloy knew this would have only one outcome. She stilled herself, preparing to take down these men who had only wished to seek vengeance for broken families and hurting hearts. She was aware that in any other situation, she would let the men have what they sought. But they weren’t going to have Nil. Just as he’d said, Nil was hers. They were not going to take him from her. 

As each man fell, she felt a small part of her own moral code slip away. She couldn’t claim that these men were innocent. They had captured and were going to kill someone. Yet, they were not soldiers. They weren’t Shadow Carja. 

When she’d finished, she felt slightly numb. She had killed men to protect someone she cared about. Yet, it didn’t feel like a victory. It felt almost wrong. She knew most people would consider Nil a bad man. She knew he had done heinous things in his past, but she also knew he had been following orders. He had told her small things, given her glimpses of his past, but she hadn’t wanted to delve any deeper. She didn’t want his past to color the image of the man she now knew. She didn’t want to be blind to what he was, what he was capable of, but he’d never given her a reason to think badly of him. His stay at Sunstone Rock had changed him. At least that was what he said. And he’d made no move against the men who had held him captive. 

“I had begun to wonder if Meridian was holding you captive again. Good thing you came along when you did.”

She rounded on him. “Nil, what the hell? How did you get captured? Why did I just kill those men?” Aloy was once again letting her frustrations boil over into her words. She had to get her emotions back in check. She had never had outbursts like she’d had in the past few days, punching Erend, yelling at Avad and now this.

“A well-laid trap. The promise of a duel.” He shrugged as if that was explanation enough.

Aloy ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the strands to release some of the tension building in her head. She’d never been prone to headaches in the past. Now they seemed to spring upon her at any given moment. Nil gave her a headache. Avad gave her a headache. Erend gave her a headache. She felt a growl bubble its way up her throat. 

“Huntress? Are you mad?” Nil’s hand fell on her shoulder and Aloy pulled away.

She turned to him, “Mad? No, I don’t think so. Just frustrated.”

Nil’s blank expression only served to frustrate her more. She had begun to notice the subtle shifts in his mood, his expressions. But right now he was giving her nothing. She sighed and threw her hands in the air. The pop of them landing on her thighs caused Nil to shift slightly. He thought her actions were a direct result of having to save him. She realized that now. 

“Nil, I am not mad at you. A little confused, maybe, but not mad. You are the best hunter/tracker I know, besides myself. I just never expected to have you be my damsel in distress.” 

A slight smile curved his lips. “Did you really just call me a damsel?’

“I did.” She laughed, the tension in her neck and shoulders releasing slightly. 

She approached him then, her fingers sliding over his split lip. He was going to have a wicked scar in a few days but it had stopped bleeding. She let her hand slide down his chest and she pushed his vest over his shoulders. She examined his body, checking for any other damage to his person. Her fingers poked and prodded. Her palms glided over his taut belly. He had a blossoming bruise across his ribs but nothing seemed broken. 

He dipped his head to kiss her and she felt his hiss of breath as his split lip protested. 

She couldn’t help but laugh at Nil’s need to have her overriding his common sense. “It’s probably best if we hold off on any kissing until that heals.” She ran her fingers over the split again.

She dug into her pack and pulled out a poultice she had made that morning and smeared the slick goo over his lip. “Try not to lick it. It really doesn’t taste very good.”

The wet heat of the swamp was starting to get to her again. Sweat rolled down her back and made her itch. She squirmed and shifted trying to get the silk undershirt to rub away some of the annoyance. The salty beads dripped from her forehead and condensed on her upper lip. She wished she had replaced the armored headdress with a more practical wicking material, but there was nothing she could do about it now and it did no good to try to wipe the moisture away. 

Nil reached into his pack and produced a thin strip of cloth. Taking her hand, he wrapped the cloth around her wrist into a thick bracelet. Aloy hadn’t noticed that he had the same tied to his own wrist. He lifted his wrist to his face and wiped away his own sweat.

It was slightly genius and Aloy wondered why she hadn’t thought of doing something like that. She dabbed at her lip and forehead. 

“You ready Huntress? The camp isn’t far.”

“Nil, you are injured. Are you sure you want to run off fighting bandits?” She knew the question was a stupid one. Of course, he wanted to fight bandits. He had been left out of the tussle with the men who captured him. He would most certainly be looking for an outlet.

“I’ve fought with worse.” He gave another of his nonchalant shrugs. 

She rolled her eyes and turned back toward the path.

 

The map did not do the bandit camp justice. The place was so spread out that her focus was having trouble finding all of the bodies inside. Just when she thought she had a good idea of where they all were, another blip would creep into her periphery. She considered trying to sneak through the water, but there were so many bandits inside that she’d surely make too much noise. Despite the camp’s size, there were no really good infiltration points. It looked like they were going to have to take the camp head on. 

Luckily, the size of the camp had one benefit. Many of the bandits were spread out. This gave Aloy and Nil time to take out the lookouts and move on to the next section. They made their way through the camp, taking out anyone that came across their path and ducking out of sight before moving on. Aloy would flip on her focus every now and then to ensure no one got the drop on them. 

The fight was a long one, stretching the time between waiting and fighting. Aloy only had to draw her spear once and by that time most of the camp had been cleared. When the fight was over, her body ached, her throat was parched and she really just wanted to lie down. She knew this was probably a bad sign since she was usually energized after a good fight, but she couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. A wave of dizziness washed over her and she began to stumble. 

“Huntress?” Nil was at her side, holding her elbow so she wouldn’t fall over.

“I feel sick to my stomach.” She reached up to wipe away the sweat that had been pouring from her over the last few hours, only to find her skin was dry.

Nil must have recognized what was wrong with her because he said, “We need to get you into the shade and find some water, and possibly some fruit.”

He wrapped his arm around her to keep her steady and they made their way to the river that ran through the camp. They followed the course to a place not far where there was a natural outcropping in the rock. It was mossy and damp, hidden away from the sun’s glaring heat. 

“Stay here. Don’t fall asleep. I will be back.”

She nodded. It wasn’t like she was going to get up. The dizziness from earlier was only growing stronger. Her muscles ached. The headache that had started earlier became a throbbing pulse that sent shocks of pain through her entire body. 

When Nil returned he had two full water-skins, an armload of pomegranates and had apparently acquired more cloth. 

Aloy felt like she could barely breathe, but Nil lifted the water-skin to her lips. “Who’s the damsel in distress, now?”

She took a sip of the water and almost spat it out. “Couldn’t you have at least found a cool spring to get that from?”

“No. That’s not what you need right now. It would only make you sick.” He took his knife and expertly split a pomegranate into quarters. He handed one of the beaded pieces of fruit to her. 

“I don’t like these.” She frowned and knew she was on the verge of pouting, but everything hurt.

“Doesn’t matter. You need it. Eat.” 

Aloy glared at him. She didn’t see how the awful bitter fruit and tepid water were going to help her pounding head or the nausea roiling in her belly. 

“You are dehydrated. I should have realized that when you stopped sweating.” He squatted down in front of her and began removing her sandals. When his hands reached for the clasp of her vest, she pushed him away.

“What are you doing?”

“You need to take your clothes off. I found a merchant and bought you a tunic, but I am going to soak it in water before you put it on. It will help.” Without invitation, he reached for the clasp again, but this time she let him.

She sat and ate her fruit and sipped on her water as Nil undressed her. I might be erotic if she didn’t feel like a boulder had fallen on her and if he didn’t insist she keep eating every time she tried to stop. The bitter seeds popped in her mouth, but when she tried not to chew, Nil lifted his hand to her jaw. She tried taking a bite of fruit and then a large gulp of water but he would tell her to slow down. She had a feeling she would never touch the fruit again. 

Nil spread her newly acquired tunic on the ground and taking the second water-skin, he drizzled it over the fabric. When it was damp all over, he redressed her.

She had thought having wet clothing would feel awful, but the coolness of the damp linen was a welcome relief from the heat. 

“This is the second time you’ve been forced to take care of me.”

“Not many Nora get the opportunity to experience dehydration on a Sundom scale.” His eyebrow lifted and he smirked like it was truly some kind of achievement.

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a burden again.”

“It’s no burden to care for you, Aloy.”


	29. Cauldron XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling through the Southern jungle, Aloy and Nil stumble upon a signal. Aloy can't help her excitement and decides she wants to show Nil the wonders of her world.
> 
> #Niloy

“Why do you want to go to Sunstone Rock? It’s not the most exciting place, trust me.” Nil had been trying to talk Aloy out of going for the better part of the day. 

“I told you, I’ve never seen a prison. In the Sacred Lands, the only punishments we have are Outcast or Exile. Plus, I’d like to see the place you spent two years of your life.” She smiled, thinking maybe that would help her case, but Nil only glared at her. 

He had told her the majority of his time he’d spent locked in a cell, but those rare times when he was given leave to walk about the compound, he would take pleasure in tormenting those still behind bars. There was one in particular that he liked to antagonize, a Tenakth warrior named Ullia. He liked the way she snarled and jumped at him, trying to reach through the bars. This didn’t surprise Aloy in the slightest. 

“Meridian isn’t enough? You’ve seen my birthplace. You’ve walked the streets of my childhood.” He took his machete and whacked down the vines blocking their path. 

“Yes, but you’ve never talked about that, have you?” She nudged him with her shoulder. 

“Do you want me to?” Nil seemed to grow a bit nervous. He cracked his neck and began popping his fingers.

“Only if you want to. I’m not going to pry it out of you.” 

He nodded. 

She couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that he wouldn’t give her something from his past. It was obvious that whatever lies in Meridian was another life to him. One that he took pains to avoid. 

They pushed through the tall grass and jungle vegetation. The outcropping they had taken over the day before was in the opposite direction of Sunstone Rock. Aloy wasn’t surprised, figuring Nil had done that on purpose. It also meant they were backtracking. She pushed ahead; sure that Nil was diverting her slowly away from Sunstone Rock.

They had just begun to head a bit further south when Aloy’s focus pinged, picking up a nearby signal. She paused, causing Nil to collide with her backside. He let out an ‘oomf” and grabbed her waist to steady himself. 

“What is it, Huntress?” His fingers slid across her skin as if now that he was touching her, he couldn’t help himself. 

“A signal.” An excited grin lifted her lips and cheeks and she turned to him. “Nil, how would you like to see what I do when you aren’t around?”

His eyebrows creased together in confusion. “What exactly are you getting me into now?”

She nudged his ribs. “Come on. The signal isn’t far.”

Nil groaned but followed her anyway. She explained to him how she was able to override machines and how each time she went into a cauldron, she was able to find a new override for new machines. He could hear the excitement in her voice when she told him the signal was growing stronger.

They approached only to find that they were not alone. 

“Sun and Shadow,” Aloy muttered.

Nil couldn’t help but smile at the Carja obscenity. Her time in the Sundom had given her more than a few new freckles. 

“Eclipse. What are they doing here?” She drew her bow, ready to make her approach.

“Huntress, I do not wish to fight the Eclipse. I told you this once.”

She paused, turning back to him and bit her lip. 

Nil wondered if Aloy knew there would be Eclipse soldiers here and if she was drawing him into this fight against his will. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her. 

She let out a long sigh. “I didn’t know they would be here, but it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve accidentally run into them. They have been scouring the same ruins I have. I guess I should have known they’d eventually find a Cauldron and figure out how to open it. But I swear this is the first time I’ve seen them outside of one.”

They stood outside the gates to the Cauldron for some time, both evaluating the other for a sign that they would go in or walk away. Aloy didn’t want to push Nil into something he didn’t want to do and Nil didn’t want to join in the political battle. Yet, Aloy had no choice and she was not going to pass up the opportunity to go inside, both of them knew that. 

Finally, Nil drew his own bow and crouched in the grass beside her. She smiled and made her way into the makeshift camp. There weren’t many soldiers outside and she gestured for Nil to take out the man to their right as she made her way to the wooden stairs leading into the Cauldron. She took out the lone man wandering the periphery with a clean headshot and moved closer.

She was lining up a fire arrow, sights set on the blaze barrel nearest the men who stood overlooking the camp when she felt Nil’s fingers grip her ribs. She flailed, nearly setting the tall grass around her alight. 

“What the hell, Nil,” she growled in a whisper.

“What? The mighty Huntress can’t handle a little distraction?” His smile was devious. 

Her glare wasn’t enough to wipe the smirk off his face. She shook her head and lined up her shot again. She steadied her breath, trying to focus on her task and not the fact that she could see Nil’s hand creeping ever closer to her. As the blast concussed the air around them, Nil gripped her side again. 

“Cut it out. They are going to notice us if I fall into fits of laughter.” She wanted to be angry with him, but his nonchalant shrug just made her roll her eyes. “You do realize these men want me dead?”

“Your arrows will pierce many hearts, even with me distracting you.” 

Aloy couldn’t help but feel there was a double meaning behind those words, or maybe it was her own feelings about Nil that had her mind reaching for something that wasn’t there. Her eyes roamed over his face, searching for the sign that would tell her if that was what he meant or if he was simply being himself and making a statement about her abilities as a Hunter. As usual, his face was blank of emotion. 

Ignoring it for now, she flipped on her focus and found that they had taken out everyone outside the facility. She strapped her bow to her back and came out of her crouch. As she made her way to the wooden staircase, she let her fingers glide through the tall grass surrounding her. For some reason the gesture always grounded her, made her feel as she was a part of the landscape, blending and becoming one with the nature surrounding her. Plus, the soft brush always sent little tendrils of pleasure up her arms, like the blades were giving her a soft caress in return. It was a small distraction, but a welcome one. 

As they crested the staircase, Aloy noticed the facility had a steel lock on the wooden door covering the entrance. 

“Loot the bodies. Someone had to be carrying a key.” 

She searched the body closest to her, but only found shards and a healing potion. Her pouch was full, so she held onto it for Nil. When she rose, Nil was returning to her side waving a key in front of him. She handed him the potion and he handed her the key. She searched the area for any other supplies, finding a crate with a few more potions, shards, and some crafting materials and tucked them all into her pack; handing off anything she couldn’t use or carry to Nil and he tucked them away.  
“Why would the Eclipse be here,” Nil asked, as Aloy slid the key into the lock. He pushed open the heavy door and they ducked inside. 

“They have been trying to raise ancient machines. Maybe they have been trying to figure out how to make new ones, or they are trying to find something to help them with the corrupted machines. I really don’t know.” Aloy began looking around. She had thought she was going to show Nil something amazing, but this facility looked broken down, decrepit. The wooden walkway snaked its way through the entrance and seemed to continue on. To say she was disappointed would be an understatement. She had brought him here to show him wonders and all there was were ruins. 

Voices echoed in the chamber ahead and both Nil and Aloy drew their bows. There were only two Eclipse ahead and they lined up their shots, felling the men before either noticed anything was wrong. 

They continued on the trail and Aloy laughed as one of the faulty wires in the wall sparked and Nil jumped. 

“Well, this was a Cauldron. Once. Now it seems the wilds have taken over and the enemy, too.” Aloy squatted just inside the entrance and pointed to the men her focus had picked up on. 

Nil nodded and they separated, Aloy going left and Nil going right. This left Aloy following the makeshift path and Nil standing guard, in a sniper position. 

She made her way around the stacked crates and blaze barrels that seemed to litter any Eclipse base. She wondered what the crates contained. Were they moving things in, or taking them out? That would have to be a worry for another day. Skirting past the last of the crates, Aloy stashed her bow and drew her spear. As the Eclipse soldier closest to her climbed the stairs, she vaulted from her hiding place and lodged the tip into his neck. She heard the snap of Nil’s bowstring as another of the men fell. 

“Two down, two to go.” She muttered to herself.

Her focus tracked the remaining two. She switched back to her bow and gestured for Nil to take out the one climbing the stairs as she took aim on the one at the bottom, below Nil’s perch.

The staircase led them to an open room overgrown with vegetation. It seemed that the Eclipse had stumbled into this Cauldron, as opposed to actually opening it themselves. That gave Aloy a small sense of relief. Maybe if they didn’t know how to get in, they wouldn’t know how to use the Cauldron’s secrets. 

“Looks like a cave in. A big one.” She gestured to the ceiling or what was left of it. 

Nil’s eyes scanned the landscape. “This place is huge. What was all of this used for?”

Aloy could only shrug. Turning her attention back to the Eclipse, she made her way to the edge and the drop below. She found a place to rappel from and checked the immediate area for any soldiers. When she was sure their drop zone was clear, she leapt off the edge and flung her rope out, wrapping it around the metal protrusion. Nil followed, landing quietly beside her. 

Aloy was thankful to have Nil along when she realized there were as many soldiers here as had been at the Eclipse’s main base. They fought through dozens of men in the center chamber before making it to another hallway. There was a giant hole in the center of the room and a wooden stairway leading off to the left. Aloy peeked over the edge of the hole, hoping for an easy way down, but there were no points for her to secure her rope. She sighed knowing that probably meant they’d face more of the men before reaching the heart of the facility.

At the end of the path rested a small grotto. “Looks like we are going to swim across.” The water in the grotto seemed fresh enough, which surprised her since there didn’t seem to be a spring anywhere nearby. She could only assume it was run-off from somewhere outside the Cauldron. She had never seen water in any of the others.

She jumped in and swam to the other side. The water was cool and a little refreshing after the battle it took to get them there. But while Aloy enjoyed the dip in the water, Nil did not. His trousers clung to him and he kept pulling at them to shake the water out of them.

“If I’m chaffed later, I blame you.”

Aloy laughed and it brought a smirk to Nil’s lips. 

Looking around, Aloy saw no other tunnels to take. 

“Dead end,” Nil asked.

“It can’t be. They had to have some way to get down here and some reason to create a path all the way down here. These Cauldrons are usually pretty hard to navigate.” She shook the water from her clothing and walked around the small pool. 

“Look, there.” Nil was pointing to a ledge with a climbing point attached.

“Alright, up we go.” She climbed up first.

The next hallway had faulty wiring throughout, but Nil didn’t jump away this time. He simply scowled at the walls. 

Again, Aloy was disappointed that this was the Cauldron Nil got to see. Usually, Aloy was amazed at the marvels the Old Ones had left behind, but all he got to see, to experience was a dank cavern that sparked at inopportune times. Add the Eclipse to that, and she was sure Nil was miserable. 

“I’m sorry. These places are usually incredible. I wanted you to see that, not some decrepit cave.”

“Don’t worry, Huntress. There are wonders enough within.” His eyes roamed over her.

Aloy felt an answering shiver run through her. He thought she was a wonder. Goddess, she was here for a reason, but now that reason seemed to leave her mind. Her eyes fell to his lips. How was it, when he spoke of anyone, anything else he was so macabre? But when he talked about her, a different form of poetry fell from those full, lush lips. 

Before she knew it, she was on her tip-toes, pulling Nil in for a kiss. Her fingers skimmed the feathers of his headdress and his played over her exposed waist. She knew she should stop, that they could be attacked at any moment, but she didn’t want to stop.

Finally, Nil pulled away. “Should we finish this?” He nodded down the hallway.

Aloy groaned. He was right. Grudgingly, she made her feet move the rest of the way down the hall. 

Eclipse soldiers surrounded the Cauldron’s override module. They seemed nervous. Most of them seemed to think that they shouldn’t be messing around with the module. Aloy had been in enough of these places to know that tampering with it would cause machines to come running, but there was usually some large machine in a center cage. There wasn’t one here. 

After clearing out the men, Aloy set her spear into the module. “Let’s see what they’re so afraid of.”

Nil didn’t look so confident. He watched the blue tendrils take over the device for only a moment. He’d seen Aloy override machines before, so this part was nothing new to him. But as the override was finishing up, Aloy saw that he had brandished his bow and casting nervous looks around the room. 

She pulled her spear back to her side after her focus had connected with the tower. Without the whirring noise if her focus, she could hear what had Nil on edge, the sounds of battle. 

Suddenly Eclipse and machines poured out of every nook and cranny. Still, they weren’t the monstrous machines she was used to facing in these places, but there were at least five machines and about a dozen Eclipse. Aloy found a sniping position, running to the far side of the room, she climbed the tower that would usually be her escape. Nil came up behind her. 

“Got any fire arrows?”

Nil shook his head, no. 

She handed about a dozen to him, telling him to target the canisters on the men and the barrels on the ground. She would use her hardpoint arrows to pick off any that the blasts missed. 

Wave after wave of Eclipse came, and by the time it was over Aloy and Nil’s stock of health potions was depleted and they were more than ready to be done with this place. She turned to the override device on the platform. It was broken. So there would be no quick way out this time. She should have assumed that, seeing how broken down the rest of the Cauldron was, but she had held onto the small hope that this would at least be something she could show Nil. 

They made their way across the tops of the broken down towers and the scaffolding around them and found what seemed to be the exit. Along the way, more machines and more Eclipse blocked their path, but they weren’t forced to fight many of them as they were more focused on each other than her and Nil. 

When they reached the exit, both of them paused for a moment. Outside Glinthawks tore through the sky and more machines littered the ground, all fighting a contingent of Eclipse soldiers. After their battle in the Cauldron, Aloy was not interested in trying to take out any more of them. She just wanted to be out of there. She had what she came for and she wasn’t going to take out these machines only to face more of the soldiers. 

Nil crept forward, bow ready, but Aloy pulled him back and gestured to a slip wire that ran the length of the camp. It would take them just on the other side of the wooden gates. 

Without hesitation, Aloy sprinted to it and jumped. Normally, she enjoyed the thrill of racing over the landscape, but the Glinthawks had her flinching as their blasts crossed her path and fire arrows followed her course. She landed softly and rolled out of the way. Nil hit the platform only moments later.

Both of them sprinted away from the scene, stopping only when the sounds of battle could no longer be heard.

 

“I can’t believe that is what you do when I am not around.” Aloy could feel the irritation rolling off of Nil. 

They had made camp since the both of them were exhausted. Aloy sat by the fire crafting more arrows. Nil had been sitting across from her watching her for the better part of an hour. She was used to his eyes constantly being on her and his gaze was usually intense. This time it held extra weight. 

“This is what my life has been like for months, Nil. Nothing has changed.” She didn’t look up to meet his eyes. She focused on keeping her mind on her task, shaving away small pieces of the ridgewood, and setting the arrowheads properly. She had a feeling that if he were Avad, he would be up and pacing around the small campfire. 

Nil moved from his spot across from her and crouched in front of her. “You know, the bandit clans are gone. Some turning South, because of us and the legend we carved.”

“That’s what all of the bloodshed was for. To end the bandit threat.” She paused in her work, to look up at him then. He wore a slight smirk and the sudden shift from completely concerned for her well-being to the same Nil she’d always known was jarring.

“But now there’s nothing left to kill.” He shrugged.

“Where is this going, Nil?” She sat her shafts and arrowheads aside.

“All I’m saying is, now that I have no mission, nothing keeping my desires in check, maybe I should follow you. Keep you out of trouble.”

Aloy’s brows drew together in confusion. “You already follow me. I’ve always known that.”

Nil shrugged again. “Yes, yes, but I mean partners. Sharing in the bloodshed, the machine killing. No more lurking in the shadows.”

Aloy tilted her head. She examined Nil’s features for any clue to what he meant. They had been partners this entire time, hadn’t they? They’d successful ended the bandit threat together. Even in the beginning, they’d traveled together. 

“Huntress, you look confused.”

“I guess I am. Haven’t we always been partners?” 

The corner of Nil’s mouth quirked in a smile, no longer the devious smirk he always wore. “I suppose you’re right.”

Suddenly his mouth was on hers, his lips soft and almost gentle. His hand gripped the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Her hands found the open expanse of his abdomen. She couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the fact that she had such easy access to his skin. While Carja armor seemed impractical at times, it was in moments like this that she truly appreciated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the updates are running a little behind, it is because I am participating in two writing events this month. Leather & Lace 2018 and HZD Week. There will be some fun things for all of Aloy's men and even a bonus ship. And any who are on board the poly-Aloy wagon, there will be an extra fun surprise for you ;)


	30. A Heap of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy and Nil continue on their journey to the Free Heap.

Over the course of the next week, Aloy began to realize what Nil meant by truly being partners. He had followed her everywhere, even Sunstone Rock. He didn’t go inside the prison, but he helped take out the Behemoths that stalked the outer perimeter. After talking with Warden Jeneva, he had gone with her to take down the escaped prisoners. He took special pleasure in helping her bring down Ullia. He even followed her into Lone Light. She had explained to him that she just needed to resupply and check on the village, but he seemed content to just be at her side. There were a few awkward glances cast his way in the village, but no one said anything about him or made a move against him. He camped with her every night, no longer lingering in the shadows. Aloy found his constant presence a comfort and an annoyance. 

She was used to being on her own, doing things on her own. Even in her last few years as an Outcast, Rost’s presence on hunts was limited. She would return to the cabin to find notes telling her he was off doing one thing or another. Then she would be gone in the morning, exploring, hunting, shopping. Their dinners were usually shared and Rost was constantly teaching her new things, but she had a sense of independence. 

Nil wasn’t intrusive, per say. He was always fairly quiet, was a good hunter, knew when to hang back and when to press ahead, but he was always there. His eyes tracked her every move. He bathed with her. He slept with her. He ate with her. 

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. If he was going to be stuck to her side, she was going to make him talk about something, anything.

“What was it like growing up in Meridian?”

Nil’s eyes remained on the road ahead of them for quite some time. Aloy thought that he may not answer her question. She knew she was pressing him for information he didn’t want to give, but her curiosity was driving her mad. How could she spend nearly every minute in his presence and know so little about him?

“Boring,” he uttered after a few moments.

He found Meridian boring? That was interesting. She had been enamored with the city since the day she arrived. She supposed it was because he had lived there all his life, but she wouldn’t describe the Sacred Lands as boring. If anything, she loved exploring her homeland. She loved the peaks and valleys, the wooden homesteads, the lush greenery. Meridian was a jewel in comparison, but it didn’t change the fact that she would always feel like a piece of the land lived in her memory, in her heart.

“Why was it boring?”

Nil glared at her from atop his Broadhead. He didn’t like her small intrusions into his past. She knew this, of course, but she wanted to know more about him. She said she wouldn’t pry, but this constant companionship was driving her to do so.

“Let’s just say there isn’t much to entertain a mind like mine within the city.” He shifted uncomfortably atop his mechanical mount.

Aloy shifted gears, “Your markings. I’ve noticed only nobility have them.”

“Are you wanting a confession? Do you want me to tell you I am the bastard son of a dead king?”

Aloy had considered this. Nil and Avad did look somewhat alike, though there were as many differences as similarities. “Are you?”

“No. My family was nobility, but I have no connection to the throne.”

That was very much a non-answer and Aloy knew it. This conversation was going nowhere but she pressed on. “Will you not tell me anything about your past?”

Nil remained silent for another few moments before he finally gave her something. “I was nobility. My family owned land outside of Meridian. They were the perfect servants to Sun-King Jiran. They worshiped him as all good Carja did then. That was why I became a soldier, offered as a tool for the Sun-King’s army. I didn’t mind, of course. I enjoyed the fighting.”

Well, that was something, at least. Aloy wondered if his bloodlust had to do with his family’s worship of the Mad Sun-King. She had heard the many stories of the Sun Ring. What would it do to a child if they were forced to watch those atrocities? She had yet to meet any of the Shadow Carja, save Helis, and she began to wonder how many of them would be like Nil. Warden Janeva had told her that Nil had a sense of honor, “not a blade without thought”. The Warden seemed to respect him, even if he did think that some of Nil’s bloodlust had a chance to cure in the prison cells. 

They were coming up on the location Maraud had given her for the Free Heap, so she decided to drop the inquisition, for now. 

“This is the place. We are supposed to be looking for a woman named Petra.” 

They rode their Broadheads to the bottom of the hill and dismounted. 

“I don’t care for the Oseram. They are loud.”

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh. She agreed, but she found their exuberance refreshing. The Carja could be stuck up and many of the Nora were so serious and dower. But the Oseram seemed to really enjoy life. They took every day as it came and made the most of it. She loved that about Erend. He was generally so carefree, never holding anything back. 

They made their way to the top-most workspace, Aloy assuming she would find the woman she was looking for there. They found a woman crouched over a bench, examining what looked to be one of the cannons Maraud spoke of. Aloy was sure she had the right woman.

“Uh, hello,” Aloy stated, after standing behind her for a moment without any acknowledgment. 

The woman stood and turned, she looked Aloy over for a moment and then her eyes drifted to Nil. When they returned to her, there was a glimmer in the woman’s eyes, as if she found something quite amusing.

“I have calluses older than you, girl.”

Aloy was taken aback. No one had ever made a comment about her age before. She was a woman, old enough to run in the Proving. She knew she had proven as much over her months of travel. “I have calluses enough if you want to test me.” She inched closer to the woman. 

This seemed to be the response she wanted because the woman laughed. “She sparks! I believe it flame-hair. Petra Forgewoman.” She extended her hand, and Aloy took it.

“Uh, Aloy, machine hunter.” She knew the Oseram offered their last names as a form of title, but Aloy wasn’t comfortable with any of the titles that had been bestowed upon her, so she offered the thing she was best at. 

“Machine hunter, eh? I could have a use for you. Straight of it is, we are being muscled out of our own claim. That’s why I’ve been working on this scrap-spitting beast. It’s a dispute settler.” She pointed to the cannon she had been working on when she and Nil had approached. These were the weapons Maraud was after. 

“This weapon you’re working on – I’ve never seen anything like it. Your design?”

“See my face in it, can you? This one’s mother helped reclaim Meridian, back in the day. A job like that isn’t done with strategy. They needed to shake the walls. Turn the Mad Sun-King’s army to blood and feathers.”

Aloy was disturbed by the imagery and turned to Nil. Surprisingly he was smiling, or grimacing, either way, he seemed to like the image Petra conjured. She rolled her eyes. 

“What’s with the face,” Petra asked.

“Weapons with such power…” She couldn’t imagine what something like that would do and she didn’t like the image Petra gave her. 

“It’s not the weapon flame-hair, it’s the wielder. If that siege had touched the great elevator, they’d have answered to me.” 

Aloy could tell that thoughts of Meridian’s elevator had Petra reminiscing and her next words said as much.

“Great work, that elevator. Story in every chain-link. I’ll make you suffer them one day if you like.” She came back to the present quickly. “This beast doesn’t have a story yet. Too heavy to carry and eats metal like a Scrapmaw.”

They talked a little while longer, and Aloy grew to like the woman. They shared an independent spirit. Petra had set out on her own path and Aloy could appreciate that. She could tell Petra was a hard worker, and compassionate, even though the woman masked that compassion with humor. Gera had done much the same. She wondered if this was a trait of Oseram women and she wondered if Ersa would have been the same. A pang of guilt washed over her at the thought of Erend’s sister but she set it aside. Petra had a mission for her and Nil seemed as eager to clear out the bandits awaiting them as Petra was to be rid of them. 

Petra had asked them to recover some power cells, clear out the bandits and reclaim the metal refuse from the Scrappers. 

“Bandits first,” Aloy asked Nil.

He nodded and they made their way across the bridge to the foundry. 

 

After clearing out all of the bandits and machines, they made their way back to Petra. They made it to the gates when they heard someone yelling above them.

“You’ll get yours when the clan blows in! The town’s as good as torched!” The man jumped down a slip wire and out of sight. 

Aloy picked up her pace to the Heap. That didn’t sound good. She needed to make sure she got back in time to help those in the city. 

“Petra, I have the parts you wanted. But there are more bandits coming – the rest of their clan. They want to take the town.” 

Petra smirked. “Do they now?” She picked up the Oseram cannon and handed it to Aloy. “Hold this thing steady while I give it a voice. Then we’ll let it talk terms for us.” 

Petra made some adjustments to the cannon, slipping a power cell into the housing and reframing the cannon with a bit more scrap.  
“Take it up to the ledge and brace yourself. Don’t press it against your hips if you ever want to use those for…” Her eyes drifted to Nil.

“All right, all right. I got it!” Aloy waved off Petra’s words and a blush crept to her cheeks as Nil smiled at the exchange.

The cannon was extremely heavy, Petra hadn’t exaggerated about that, and Aloy could barely hold it up. She considered passing it off to Nil, he was much stronger after-all, but she really wanted to see what all the fuss was about. If these cannons could somehow save Meridian in the coming battle, she wanted to ensure that she knew how to use one.

“Come on then, if you’re coming!” Aloy yelled over the ledge. She didn’t see any of the bandits yet, but she assumed the man who had taken the slip wire was coming back with the rest of his people. 

In only moments, the bandits began pouring out of every nook and cranny. It seemed that they thought they had the Heap surrounded. What they didn’t know was that the cannon Aloy was wielding would take them out one group at a time. The bandits clustered together, making Aloy’s job all the easier. She fired, not expecting the recoil that came after but caught her balance easily enough. As wave after wave of bandits came, she took aim. Nil and the rest of the Oseram picked off any that escaped the cannon’s blasts. 

It looked like the battle was nearly over when a group of more than twenty men was spotted. They were coming at them from under the bridge.

“They’re gathering under the bridge, Aloy! Bring it down,” Petra shouted over the blasts.

“What? It’s your bridge.” Aloy didn’t see how this was going to help the Free Heap. Wouldn’t they need the bridge to get to the foundry?

“Bridges come and go. Shoot it down!”

Aloy took aim on the pillars of the bridge, ensuring that the impact would have the maximum result. 

As the rubble crashed down around the bandits she could hear Petra laughing. “Woah! Might have overdone it a little. Now, I’m no soldier, but I’d call that a rout.”

Aloy took the cannon back to Petra’s worktable. The electricity that had been running through the machine had Aloy’s teeth on edge and her hair seemed charged. She could feel the pull of it as it lifted and clung to her head. She was sure if she touched it, tiny sparks would leap to her fingers. 

“Ugh. My teeth hurt from all that.” 

“That’s interesting. Need a leather strap to bite down on, perhaps. We’ll give those wretches a sky burial. That’s fancy talk for saying we’ll leave them out for the birds. More than they’d have done for us if this thing didn’t work.” She patted the cannon as if it were a person.

Aloy was shocked. Petra had given her a weapon that she didn’t even know worked. “Uh… If it didn’t work? It could have not worked?” Her voice lifted in slight panic. What could have happened if the machine backfired, or jammed? How could Petra hand her a weapon that could have caused her harm?

“It isn’t finished. That’s why we tested it.”

Aloy crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Petra.

“Now, now. You had your Nora toys to fight with. Saying goes, you can only trust metal. But my trust was well placed in you. You’re owed, Aloy, machine hunter. I won’t forget that.”

“Neither will I, Petra. Look, I have to tell you. I came here hoping to find that cannon. When you finish it, Avad could use it and any others you perfect. There will be an attack on Meridian and he is going to need all the help he can get.”

“Hmm… Defend Meridian. That’s what these cannons were originally made for. And I did just say I owe you. Let me work out the kinks and I will be sure to meet you there.”

Aloy nodded and turned to leave. 

 

They ran one more errand for Petra before leaving the Free Heap, chasing down the trail of a couple hunters and then the trail of the Behemoths they had been hunting. It seemed that the hunters were more interested in each other than their quarry. They bickered the entire time they were together and Aloy thought at one point Nil may turn his bow on them if they didn’t shut up. Aloy had tried to calm the situation by telling the couple that they were into each other and needed to get past it so they could move on and hunt the machines without their constant muttering, but it did nothing but make Nil growl as they started anew.

With the cannons now acquired it was time to head back to Meridian.

 

“Must you return to the city,” Nil asked for the third time as they crested the rise to Meridian.

“Of course. I need to tell Maraud that Petra has agreed to send her cannons once they are finished. That was the reason for going to Free Heap in the first place.” 

“I still don’t understand why you are making the Carja war your war. Let them fight it out. Whoever is left standing will be on them.” 

Aloy sighed. “Nil, it’s more complicated than that. The Shadow Carja are after me, you know that. And Avad is my friend. I don’t want to see him or his city fall to those madmen. Helis won’t rest until I am dead and Hades mission is complete. Do you really want to see these men back on the throne, taking innocent lives, sacrificing people to appease their god?”

Nil shrugged. He honestly didn’t care. “People die all the time, Aloy.”

Aloy couldn’t understand how he could be so callous. She knew Nil didn’t have a compassionate bone in his body, but she never thought he would be one to stand by while innocent people were in peril. She knew his past, or at least the Carja’s past. She knew he had seen the atrocities of the Sun-Ring, but she had thought he had changed. Hadn’t he told her that? Hadn’t the Warden? She knew he wouldn’t take the lives of regular people, that he was focused on those who wouldn’t be missed, but shouldn’t that mean that he would want to defend those he felt shouldn’t fall to his own arrows?

“Nil, that’s not fair. Avad is doing what he can to create a better world, one of alliance and mutual benefit. The Shadow Carja want dominance, to reign over others and crush those they deem unworthy.” As she said it, she quickly realized that Nil held onto those same values. She didn’t like that she had made the connection. She didn’t want to think of him as another of Helis’ minions. But he wasn’t working for Helis, she reminded herself. If he was, she’d surely be dead by now. 

She kicked her Broadhead, setting off at a loping pace. She didn’t want to talk to him anymore. If she did, she had no idea what she would say. Would she berate him? It wasn’t like it would do any good. Would she try to convince him of Avad’s mission? Again, not likely to do any good. She had always appreciated the fact that Nil had never treated her like a hero or a villain. He accepted her as she was. But she was beginning to wonder if he was accepting of her, or he simply didn’t care. She replayed their conversations in her head, the quiet moments they had spent together. Had she felt the emotion from him before? Was she fooling herself into thinking he cared for her? 

He had said that he loved her. This she remembered but was Nil capable of love. Was he confusing his respect for her as a Huntress, as a weapon, for actual emotion?

Nil caught up with her. “Huntress, I have offended you?”

She thought about it for a moment. Had he offended her? “No. It’s not that. I am just confused.”

“And I am the source if this confusion?”

Aloy stopped her Broadhead. Nil turned his so they were facing each other. 

“I just don’t understand you sometimes. I think it would be different if you were all bad, or all good, but you always seem to fall somewhere in the middle. You kill without hesitation, but only if they are bandits or if you think I am in trouble. You don’t care if the people of Meridian fall, but you are willing to clear out one of the largest threats to their safety. You don’t ever seem truly happy, but you make jokes and care for me when I need it.” She searched his eyes for some understanding on his part.

“I am who I am, Huntress. I like killing people, the scent of blood, the look of horror as blade meets flesh. It’s a conscious decision to turn that blade on people who deserve it. It’s like coming home. But I will admit, I like sinking my shaft into you more.”

Aloy scrunched her nose. “Thanks for that imagery. You’re really gross sometimes. You know that, right?” 

Nil shrugged. “Hasn’t sent you running back to the Sacred Lands, yet.”


	31. Bad at Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy returns to Meridian before heading out to Sunfall. 
> 
> #Alvad  
> #Ereloy
> 
> (The title for this chapter comes from Bad at Love - Halsey)
> 
> ***This chapter was edited after posting, because I wasn't completely happy with it. Sorry, to all who have read the original version.

“Don’t you think we should tell her before she heads to Sunfall?” Erend crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at Avad. 

“I have already told you. I do not want her getting involved. We have had agents there for years. Agents we haven’t heard from in all that time. I do not want her walking in there and risking her life for me again. Itamen may not even want to come home. We don’t know.” Avad couldn’t stop himself from pacing. He was tired of trying to explain this to Erend. He knew Erend thought Aloy was capable of anything she set her mind to, but Avad was wary of placing her in harm's way. She had enough to deal with, without him adding to her problems. 

“How do you think she is going to feel if she gets down there only to realize that you haven’t been honest with her?” Erend’s eyes tracked his movement across the balcony as he went to stand at the railing. 

Avad knew Aloy wouldn’t be happy, but he also knew that if he said anything to her about his brother, she would do all she could to retrieve him and place herself in Helis’ crosshairs. He couldn’t bear to be the person who did that to her. He had sent people to infiltrate the palace, placed those he could in high ranking positions, but with no word from any of them, he wasn’t sure what had actually happened in the last few years. 

He didn’t hear Erend’s boots as he approached, but the large Oseram placed his hand on his shoulder.

“If anyone could save your brother…”

“No. She has done enough for me. I can not ask this of her. And neither will you. Consider that an order.” Avad turned hardened eyes on his Captain. Why couldn’t Erend understand? 

Erend glared at him, his lips pursing, and Avad knew he wanted to argue the matter further. But Erend had also accepted Avad as his King. While a good majority of the time they were friends, Erend knew and accepted his place at Avad’s side. 

After a few heartbeats, Erend turned on his heel and left Avad standing alone looking out over the city. It was then he noticed two riders cresting the hill on Broadheads. One was definitely Aloy. Who else could override machines and had coppery hair that fanned out behind them with the wind? But the other person was harder to make out. It was a man and Carja at that. The large feather headdress is the only thing he could make out at this distance. Avad wondered who Aloy could have convinced to mount one of the mechanical beasts and who she would be riding with to Meridian. It was the first time he’d ever seen her in anyone’s company but Erend’s. 

 

“Are you actually going to come to the city with me,” Aloy asked.

“I won’t be entering the gates, but I will wait for you here.” 

They had reached the outlying camps full of merchants and travelers. Aloy had been surprised when Nil didn’t turn his Broadhead in a different direction once Meridian came into view. She had assumed he would never step so close to the city itself. Yet, since he’d asked to be true partners he’d never left her side. She wondered for a moment what Erend or Avad would do if they saw her with him. Surely they wouldn’t be happy. 

As she dismounted her Broadhead she turned to Nil, thinking to place a kiss on his cheek, but then she thought better of it. It would do no good for the wrong person to see it and word to get back to Erend or Avad. She didn’t want to explain to either of them who the man was or why she would be kissing him. Erend, she was sure, would be able to put two and two together well enough. 

She settled for placing her hand on his thigh as he turned the Broadheads toward the outskirts of the camp, away from the people casting dubious glances at the tamed beasts. They had gotten used to seeing Aloy ride in on one, so she was fairly sure that some of the glances were for the man riding atop one of them. 

However, Nil didn’t seem to care. He never paid much attention to the looks others turned his way unless it was her. She had come to realize he didn’t like it when she was mad at him, though the only sign he gave was a blank stare. She had also come to realize that while he cared, it wasn’t enough to sway him from his mission of destruction. She wondered many times what would have happened to him if they hadn’t crossed paths the day she left the Embrace. Would he be lying dead in some bandit camp? Would he be hunting bigger and better prey now that the bandit camps were cleared? 

She found she didn’t really want to know the answer to these questions. Just knowing he had no care for the people of Meridian made her heart ache. They had remained silent through the rest of their journey to the city and it only gave Aloy time to consider his words. He liked killing, this she already knew, but she had thought, hoped, that when the world came crashing down around them, he would be there to help her right it. Now, she wasn’t so sure. She had come to realize that their goals only lined up so far. Would he leave once there were no more enemies to fight? Would he seek another form of retribution? How could she travel side-by-side with him, so unsure of what he would do next?

Turning toward the city, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. She needed to report to Marad she had obtained Petra’s word that she would provide the cannons for Meridian’s defense. She hoped that by the time the Eclipse attacked, Petra would have had enough time to perfect her weapons, or at least modified them enough that they were easier to wield. Her body still remembered the way the cannon fired, how it sent electricity racing through her and set her teeth on edge. 

She stopped at one of the stalls close to the palace. This merchant always gave her the best prices for the lenses and machine hearts she picked up along the way and her pack was becoming a burden. She still had many left at Erend’s house and these would all be extra until she decided to purchase new armor, yet she couldn’t help but think that she wouldn’t likely change from her current armor unless she headed back into the colder climes. Even then, she would probably fall back on her Nora leathers. She had come across a merchant selling better Nora gear, one that would give her resistance to most elements, other than fire, and considered buying it, but it would be a while before she returned to the Sacred Lands and the chill of the Northern winds. 

After collecting her shards, she made her way to the palace. She was retying her purse to her belt when she nearly collided with someone.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She lifted her hands to steady whoever it was, only to realize it was Erend. 

“Aloy.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “When did you get back?”

When he released her, she said, “Just now.”

“Well, come on. Let’s go grab some lunch.” He took her hand and tried to pull her away from the palace. 

“I would love to, but give me a minute. I need to tell Marad that Petra has agreed to send her cannons in a few weeks. Why don’t you come with me?”

Erend turned a scowl to the palace. “Nah. But meet me at the tavern when you are finished?”

Aloy was curious. “What’s with the look?”

“What? Uh… nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He turned his eyes from hers. 

Obviously, something was bothering him, but if he didn’t want to talk about it right now, she was okay with that. She was on a mission and the sooner she got it over with, the sooner she could enjoy the rest of her day. This time she didn’t worry about who would see her, and she stood on her tip-toes, placing a kiss on Erend’s cheek. The guards next to them let out a low whistle. 

Erend blushed. “I’ll see you in a few.” 

As she walked away she heard Erend’s raised voice. She was sure the guard who had whistled was getting an earful from the Captain. Erend wasn’t in charge of the City Guard, but she was sure he could come up with some form of punishment for the man and probably even get Avad’s approval to do so. 

She reached the top of the stairs to find Marad and Avad bent over a table in the center of the room. Marad was gesturing to something on the map and Avad was nodding. It seemed that plans for Meridian’s defense were underway. Perfect timing. 

“Good, you’ve started.” 

Avad’s head rose at the sound of her voice and he gave her that fond smile that she adored. He turned to Marad, ready to dismiss him, but Aloy stopped him.

“Wait, I have word from Petra. She has agreed to send her Oseram cannons.”

Marad paused and looked back to Avad. He nodded and the advisor retook his seat next to him. “Good. Now, let’s hope they are as powerful as we’ve heard.”

Aloy chuckled, “Oh. They are powerful. I got to test it on some bandits that wanted the Heap.”

Both men turned concerned looks to her.

“What?” Aloy looked to both men expecting them to say something, but they turned back to each other, shaking their heads.

Marad excused himself then and Avad signaled for her to join him on the couch. “Always placing yourself in danger for me.” He shook his head again, but his smile remained. 

“Well, technically, I placed myself in danger for the people of Free Heap, but sure. I will always come to your aid. You needed the cannons and I got them. Plus, I liked Petra. I would have helped her even if you weren’t in any immediate danger.” She nudged his ribs with her elbow. He understood, more than most, her desire to help those in need. 

“You will be happy to know, I’ve been asked to assist the needy in Sunfall. I have made arrangements with those who attempted to steal the sword. I let them know that if they avoided any further incident with the nobles, I would fund their efforts.” 

So, she had been right. That was the reason for the noble’s visit. She had hoped they could come to some kind of arrangement. Maybe this could even sway some of the disparate people of the Shadow Carja to Avad’s side. She knew many of them saw Avad’s kind heart as a weakness, but if he proved that he could provide for them, care for them, maybe that would be enough to show he knew his duties. She heard less and less mumblings about his job as king in the last few months and she wondered if the noble she had met in the tavern had something to do with it. She would have to track him down later and give him thanks. 

“That is great. I’m sure they will be happy to see you still care for them, even though they left Meridian.” She placed her hand over his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

She looked over the map that had held Avad’s attention before her arrival. It seemed that there would be a good defense on the Western Ridge. That would be the likeliest place the Shadow Carja would attack, seeing as they would be coming from that direction. 

Avad noticed her examination of the map. “I wish we knew more. All of this waiting has me on edge.”

“I know. I hope to find more at Sunfall.” She let her hand fall from his. This was an uncomfortable subject they'd fought over before. 

Avad tried not to let his concern show. Aloy knew he wanted to argue with her, to try and talk her out of going once again. Instead, he sighed and took her hand. “I wish I could talk you out of going, but I won’t. I know you need to do this. I will be praying that the Sun light your path.”

This time it was Aloy who couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and placing a kiss on Avad’s lips. She knew the thought of losing her, of her risking her life, gave him no small amount of worry and discomfort. All she wanted was to take those fears away, if for a moment. 

Avad pulled back with a sad smile. “Thank you, Aloy.”

He must have known that was what she was trying to do, but she didn’t understand why he looked sad now. “Did I do something wrong?”

Avad looked confused now, and Aloy felt the tension rise in her shoulders. “Aloy, you are with Erend. You live with him. And he loves you.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I love you both. Is that wrong?” Aloy still didn’t understand how relationships worked, but she had come to realize, most people fell for one person. They shared their lives with their one true love. That was what marriage was. That was what Rost had told her it would be, but there was still no good explanation for her feelings being divided. She hadn’t met anyone who could tell her why her heart had chosen not one but three mates. In what she had learned, she could only decipher that a different part of her loved each man individually, but was there one who called to her whole being? Maybe. But she didn’t want to think about that. It was too hard. To want to cut any of them out of her life made her heartsick. 

“Avad, what do you love about me?” She wasn’t sure what prompted her to ask the question.

Avad's hands stroked over his face and he sighed. He didn't answer for some time and Aloy wondered if she had pushed him too far. “Aloy, this isn’t something we should be discussing.”

“Please. I need to know.” She caught his eye then, causing him to look at her. He must have seen the need in her eyes because he turned away from her and placed his face in his hands and took a deep breath.

“Everything, Aloy. I love everything about you. I love that you are a fighter, no matter the situation. I love how quickly your mind works. I love that you care for all people. I love that you don’t let things get to you. You have a way of brushing things off that you don’t like. I love that you are capable of taking charge of any situation. I love that you have never once treated me like a King. To you, I have always been Avad, not the Sun-King, not a Sun-God. I love that you are your own person through and through. No one can sway you from what you know is right. But most of all, I love the light that you carry with you. You shine brighter than the Sun. You spread that light to all you touch.” Avad didn’t look at her when he said these words, so he missed the tear that slipped down her cheek. 

She had never heard anything so beautiful in all her life. She hadn’t thought that Avad’s feelings ran so deeply. And he had compared her to the Sun, something the Carja cherished above all else. She knew that Nil would never say anything like this to her and she wondered if even Erend would feel so strongly about her as Avad seemed to. Was she a fool for returning to Erend? Should she have turned Erend away the day Avad sent him to her? Had she misinterpreted his motivations that day?

She steadied her breathing. She needed to wrap her mind around what Avad had just said. “I should go,” she nearly whispered, not trusting her voice to much else. 

Avad nodded, still not looking at her and she got up to leave.

 

She met Erend at the tavern for their promised lunch and he placed a kiss on her cheek as she took her seat beside him. 

“I had begun to think you forgot about me,” Erend said jokingly.

“What?” Aloy was still reeling from her conversation with Avad and Erend’s statement made her think something completely different than what he meant.

“I was just kidding. I should have known you’d get held up at the palace. That always seems the case. Avad likes to hoard your attention.” Erend was still smiling, but it began to fall as he realized Aloy wasn’t laughing at his jokes.

“Is something wrong,” Erend asked when Aloy remained quiet. 

“What,” She asked for the second time, and she began to feel stupid. “Uh… no. No, nothing is wrong, just a little preoccupied. Avad and I talked about me going to Sunfall.” It wasn’t a lie, but she didn’t know what she could say to Erend that wouldn’t upset him.

“So, that is still your next destination? I can’t say I am happy about it, but I know you need to go. Will you at least spend a day or two here before heading off again?” 

She nodded her head absently. She knew Nil would be waiting for her, but he had waited longer than a day before and she hadn’t given him a time frame in which to expect her return. 

Erend ordered their food and a mug of ale for himself, water for her. But she corrected him. “Scrappersap, please.” 

He shot her a curious look but nodded to the waitress. “Scrappersap? Now I am really curious about your conversation at the palace.”

She almost said, ‘what’, again but stopped herself. “I… uhh… It just hit me that I will be going to Sunfall and probably coming face-to-face with Helis. I took down the focus network, but that doesn’t mean I will be completely safe.” She felt tears prick the edges of her eyes, and Erend rubbed his palm along the expanse of her back. He couldn't know that the tears were because of Avad's words and not from fear, but he would try to help her through whatever was plaguing her. 

When the waitress sat the Scrappersap in front of her, she downed it in one large gulp. The alcohol burned a path down her throat, all the way to her gut. She coughed trying to alleviate some of the pain, but that only caused some of the liquid to burn her nasal passages. But that didn’t stop her from signaling for another. 

“Aloy,” Erend questioned cautiously. 

“I’m fine.” She held up her hand as he started to speak again. “I will be fine.”

She downed the next shot just as quickly and she could feel the numbing effects of the drink take hold. She hoped it would be enough to settle her mind. She didn’t need an outburst like Erend had after Ersa. 

Through the course of their lunch, Aloy kept their conversation light, asking about the Vanguard and about Erend’s comings and goings while she was away and eventually they settled into their comfortable rhythm. While he would occasionally shoot her a concerned look, he seemed content to play along with her need to not discuss whatever had happened when she went to see Avad. 

With the lunch settled in their bellies, they stood, ready to leave. Aloy was still a little light-headed from the drink and Erend placed a steadying hand on her back. “Let me take you home.”

She nodded her consent and they headed to Erend’s house. 

Once inside she fell into his arms. She wanted, needed the comfort he always provided. She had the absent thought that this was what Erend was. He was comfortable. It was so easy to love him, to just be with him. He wasn’t tender like Avad, and he wasn’t raw passion like Nil. He was somewhere in the middle. He could be both or neither. He didn’t hold the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders and he wasn’t running from a past he couldn’t escape. 

And he loved her. His love was ever present. She could see it in the way his face lit up at her presence. She could hear it in the way his voice would raise an octave when he said her name. But he would never spout poetry to her, macabre or otherwise. He would never hold her so tenderly that she could just melt into his being. That didn’t make her love him any less. She simply realized he was the middle ground between Avad and Nil. He was strong and steady. He was Vanguard Steel. Heavy and protective. He had softly rounded edges, blunted by the strike of the hammer. 

She let thoughts of him fill her mind as she kissed him. She needed her rock, her solid place to stand right now. She needed his arms wrapped around her. She needed to feel the power of his body as he held her. 

She realized, in this moment, she was content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Sunfall in the next chapter... The beginning of the end.


	32. I Want It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy returns to Meridian and has an interesting conversation with Avad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I promised Sunfall, but I made a decision. And here you have it ;)
> 
> A shout-out to fogsblue and Serie11 for giving me the push to go for it!

Aloy spent the next few days settling back into her home. Falling into a routine with Erend felt like domestic bliss. They would wake up in the morning, share coffee and breakfast and then he would be out the door for work, always ensuring that they kissed before he left. She would then go about her own business within the city, purchasing equipment she hadn’t found on her travels and crafting in her spare time. She had tracked down the noble that had approached her in the tavern and thanked him for ensuring others didn’t speak ill if Avad. He told her it was no burden and that because of her, people were more receptive than ever to hear the truth of what Avad was. 

When Erend returned home from work, Aloy would have dinner ready. Usually, something she picked up while she was out since her cooking skills were limited. They would share dinner, talk and fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

Aloy enjoyed all of this, for the most part, but she could feel herself growing restless. Her arms yearned for the tug of the bowstring. Her body needed the rush of the hunt. And her mind stirred with anticipation of being so close to the answers she sought. 

On the morning that she decided to leave, Erend enclosed her in a tight hug that lasted long enough Aloy was afraid he wouldn’t let her go. He placed a kiss on her forehead before actually releasing her and she could see the concern in his eyes. 

“You should probably go see Avad. He’s going to be upset if he doesn’t see you before you head out.” Erend gave her a half smile.

She hadn’t been back to the palace since she’d forced a confession from Avad. It wasn’t like she was avoiding him, but she had yet to wrap her mind around what he had said. She had been too afraid to ask the same question of Erend, afraid that his answers wouldn’t be as beautiful or as sweet as Avad’s. 

She nodded and rose to her tip-toes to place another kiss on his cheek. 

 

Avad was deep in discussion with Marad and a few of the City Guard. Aloy tried to hang back and let them finish but she was quickly spotted. 

“Aloy,” Avad said with a slow smile stretching his lips. He nodded to his men, dismissing them.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She nodded to a couple of the guardsmen that she recognized and then to Marad who still stood at Avad’s side. 

“You aren’t. We received word from Petra. Her cannons are coming along nicely. We were just discussing where best to post them. But now that you are here, you can help us out.” Avad gestured to what Aloy had begun to think of as the war table. 

Aloy looked at the map and saw that nothing much had changed other than a few dots that she assumed would be the cannon’s placements. There were four platforms just outside the gates that had fairly decent cover, and more were placed along the battlements. It seemed that they were anticipating more cannons than Aloy realized. 

“This looks good. Until I know more, I think it is best to keep it this way.” She smiled at Marad, hoping to convey that she thought he had done a good job, but Marad just looked at her and Avad. She couldn’t discern the look, but she had a feeling he wasn’t happy about the way Avad looked to her expertise instead of his. 

Avad nodded to his advisor, dismissing him, and he nodded in turn to Avad and then again to Aloy. 

When Marad was finally out of earshot, Aloy took Avad’s hand in hers. “I am sorry for putting you on the spot the other day. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was only trying to sort things out for myself. I shouldn’t have just left.”

“No, Aloy. Don’t apologize. It was unfair of me to say what I said.” He gave her the sad smile that she hated seeing on his visage.

She led them to one of the couches and sat down; pulling gently on Avad’s arm so he would sit with her. “Avad, I know you think it is unfair to tell me how you feel, but I needed to hear it. When I met Erend, no one had ever shown interest in me before. It was thrilling, exciting. He was sweet and funny and he wanted me around. It was such a shock to me. I hadn’t expected anyone to react to my presence in the way he did. Then, I met someone during my travels and they had the same response to me. It was really very strange. I was caught off guard. Then I met you and you wanted none of these things from me. You wanted to be my friend. We got to know each other. When I was hurting you held me through it. You didn’t ask for anything from me other than what I gave you. And you care about me enough to try and stop me from walking into danger.”

Aloy wasn’t sure what she was trying to say to Avad, other than to try and tell him the reasons she loved him, as she had asked of him. But the words were not coming out right. They said nothing of his compassion or his generosity. They said nothing of their shared goals, but she just didn’t know how to put any of that into words. 

“I don’t want to choose between the men I love. I wish there was some way to just have all of you and not have this torn feeling in my heart and mind all of the time.” She wasn’t sure if she meant to say that out loud, but now that it was out, she really wanted to hear Avad’s response to it. 

To her surprise, Avad chuckled. “You know, it’s not so strange to me. The idea that you could love multiple people equally.”

Aloy tilted her head, examining him for some sign that he was making fun of her, or trying to get a rise out of her.

He sighed and Aloy was sure he was going to say something she didn’t like. “I know you don’t know much about the Carja and our customs, but royalty and nobility have always taken multiple partners. This is usually to ensure an heir. But some do it because they fall for more than one person. A King, for example, usually has a Queen and a mistress or two. Regardless of title, all are seen as consorts.”

Aloy took a moment to absorb this new information. She had no idea this was something the Carja did. She hadn’t considered anything like it before. Was this the answer she was seeking? How would Erend feel about this? How did Avad feel about it? Aloy was almost certain Nil already felt this was the arrangement they were in. He had already said a few things that made her think this way. Him being former nobility, it now made more sense. 

“And this would be something you would do? You would take me knowing my heart was divided?” 

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it would be easy. But knowing you would in some way be mine. Yes, I think I could handle that. Besides, Erend and I are fairly close. I know how he feels about you and how you feel about him. It hasn’t changed the way I feel about you in any way.” His sad smile was replaced with the one that made her heart ache to kiss him, to hold him. 

Something broke free in her chest. Something she had no idea she had been holding back. It was something akin to hope, to joy. It blossomed and spread through her. If Erend agreed to this, she could have them all. If Erend agreed to this she would no longer be torn, no longer suffer the ache in her chest at knowing she would never be able to have everything she wanted. She could come home and have Erend and Avad. She could travel and have Nil. She wouldn’t have to choose which part of herself to leave abandoned and unfulfilled. She could have raw, unbridled passion. She could have the soft, tender moments. And she could have the first man to ever really love her outside of Rost. 

It was thrilling and terrifying. She had no idea how to even broach the subject with Erend, but the idea that it could happen was all she needed in this moment. 

“I have to go but when I get back, maybe we can discuss this further? Do you think we could but talk to Erend about this?” Aloy looked to Avad with what she hoped was excitement, but she knew there was no small measure of doubt in her heart. 

“Of course.” Avad leaned in and kissed her. 

It could be like this, she thought. She could come home and spend time with Erend and then she could come home and spend time with Avad. She could have breakfast and coffee and comfort. She could have the tender, sweet, ever-longing kisses and warmth that overtook her body and soul. And she could have exquisite passion and hard-won intimacy. She wouldn’t have to set any of it aside.

 

Nil was waiting for her as he said he would be. 

“You ready?” He gave her a slow smirk.

Aloy’s heart leaped at the possibilities before her. 

“To Sunfall.”


	33. Deep Secrets of the Earth, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nil and Aloy make their way to Sunfall.
> 
> **sidenote: There are references to my one-shot 'Trapped' in this, so if you feel like you've missed something, that may be why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shout-out to GingersaysNo for talking me through Nil dialogue and mannerisms. It is always great when you find someone to bounce ideas off of ;)

Aloy pulled up the map on her focus. There was no easy way to get to the Forbidden West, but she did find a shortcut. The waterfall just outside of Meridian seemed to be the quickest route. She wondered if Nil could even make the climb, but then she remembered that he had scaled the mountain to Dervahl’s workshop easily enough. The thought of that night had her smiling. She still couldn’t believe that he had made the climb in his Carja armor. 

“The way to Sunfall isn’t going to be an easy one.” She was still smiling as she turned to Nil and then back to the waterfall.

“Sun and Shadow, girl. Are you trying to get us killed?” Nil examined the waterfall before them. 

“There seems to be a trail at least. Think you can make it?” Aloy had spotted a few handholds and ropes along the rock face of the mountain. It seemed she wasn’t the only one with the idea that this would, in fact, be the quickest route. Pulling up her map, she realized there was a settlement atop the rise. Maybe someone had made the trail to have easier access to Meridian.

Nil grumbled but pushed his Broadhead forward. He was nowhere near the climber that she was but he was strong and he had no problem jumping long distances. He may not have had the Brave trails growing up, but she didn’t think they’d give him much trouble. 

As they reached the base of the mountain, they dismounted. Aloy gave the Broadhead a pat on its hindquarters, as she usually did, thanking the machine for its service. She knew she would have to override two other mounts when they found more, and she hoped it wouldn’t be too long after they made their climb. This was going to be exhausting. 

Aloy jumped to the first handhold and began her assent. The holds were a little slippery but held well enough. When she made it to the first landing, really just a pole jutting from the mountainside, she looked to find Nil had progressed nicely along. She knew she would hear about how wet the climb was. The feathers of his headdress were not standing anymore and his armor had a wet sheen to it. She also knew she would be hearing about how the silk of his trousers clung to his legs after this. Another reason to find a mount once they reached the top.

Sure enough, once they reached the top, Nil began tugging at his trousers. “Do you enjoy seeing me wet, Huntress?”

Aloy gave him a smirk and a shrug. “Maybe. Your skin does glisten in the sunlight. It is rather appealing.”

Nil’s eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch and he eyed her like he was unsure what to do with the compliment. 

Aloy realized then, it was probably the first compliment she’d given Nil. Usually, she commented on his hunting prowess or his disgusting sense of humor. She hadn’t thought to comment on his body or his looks before. She’d thought about it enough, but the words had never passed her lips. He had to know she found his body appealing. She’d proven that well enough. She made sure to give his body an approving once-over before locating the trail that would lead them to Sunfall.

Nil fell in step behind her. She could feel his eyes on her, but she had grown used to his constant attention long ago. She let her hips sway a little more than necessary, giving him a bit of a show. 

“What has gotten into you today? Are you flirting with me?” Nil elongated his stride until he was at her side. 

“Nothing. Just happy.” She tossed him a smile but kept moving.

“Happy? We are about to go into Shadow Carja territory and you are happy?” He knew she had been dreading this moment, had been putting it off and making preparations elsewhere. He knew that she wasn’t looking forward to this next move in her and Sylens’ plan. It was no wonder why he couldn’t fathom the change in her mood.

“Nil, I had a talk with Avad just before I left. Is it true that Carja nobility take more than one lover, that it is typical?” She didn’t think Avad had lied, but for some reason, she needed to hear his words confirmed.

“I have been with no one else, Little Huntress.” He had fallen back into step behind her, so she didn’t see his confused look.

“No, that’s not what I am asking. Avad told me that he wanted to be with me, even if that meant sharing me. He said that Carja do it all the time. That it was more to ensure an heir, but that sometimes it was for love.” The giddiness she had been riding turned a little sour when she looked back over her shoulder to see Nil had stopped moving.

“Did I say something wrong?” She paused and turned back to face him. 

“No.” 

It wasn’t much of a response but he hadn’t made any move to continue on. 

“Why have you stopped then?” She tilted her head in confusion. 

“Does he know he’d be sharing you with me?” She couldn’t decipher the look in Nil’s eyes. He didn’t look confused, but she didn’t know what else to call it. 

“Not exactly. Both Avad and Erend know I have been with, traveling and bedding, a Carja named Nil, but that’s not the name they know you by, is it?” She crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn’t sure where Nil was going with all of this, but she found she didn’t like it. 

“No.”

Again, he gave her that look that rested somewhere between confusion and frustration. It was the most expressive she’d ever seen him and she didn’t know what to do with it. “What?”

His eyes lowered and the blank mask he usually wore covered his face once again. “I guess I always assumed you’d eventually pick someone. I knew that someone wouldn’t be the bloodthirsty killer who darkens your steps.” He shrugged like he’d said nothing of import and began walking again.

Aloy felt his words like a dagger in the heart. Had he really always assumed she’d leave him? It was her turn to stand there dumbfounded. She watched Nil’s back until he realized she wasn’t following and turned to face her. 

Before he could speak, she closed the distance between them, placing her hands on his arms. “I love you, Nil, just as much as I love Erend or Avad. I want to be with you just as much as either of them.”

Nil’s fingers lifted her chin, tilting her head up slightly. His silver eyes gleamed and a smirk shadowed his lips. “Good to know, Little Huntress.” His kiss was soft and tender, so unlike anything he’d ever done before and it left Aloy breathless. 

 

The rest of the way to Sunfall was interspersed with fighting machines, and there were many, and playful games. They each took turns attempting to make trick shots at the Shadow Carja they encountered along the way. Nil even made the joke that Aloy should attempt to shoot a bucket that rested on a ledge above her target. He seemed to find it amusing that the man would be taken out with a bucket on his head and no one would know why. Aloy just shook her head, thinking once again how macabre his sense of humor was. 

It was a fun turn of events, this easiness in his presence. Aloy had always had some reservations about Nil and what it would mean to fall for him, but since the words had left her lips, his demeanor had changed. He wasn’t different, per say, but he was more relaxed. Words slipped from his tongue without reservation. He attempted to tickle her when he grew bored. He even started to discuss The Old Ones with her. 

She had scanned a data log and couldn’t help but laugh. She didn’t understand some of what the log said. She didn’t know what a ‘soundtrack’ was, or ‘apocalypse’, but apparently there was a song for it and it was driving the man who had created the log insane. 

“What,” Nil asked when she began giggling.

“It seems you aren’t the only one with a macabre sense of humor.” She lifted the device to show him what she had scanned. “Apparently this man felt the need to record, ‘I swear I am going to stab my eardrums before the melody can fester in my ear canals.’ He didn’t like the song he was listening to.”

“Truly. These are the things The Old Ones felt the need to preserve?” Nil looked a little confused.

“Not always. Most of the time they hold small keys to unlocking the past, but I have run across some that make me wonder. What was so important about this that they felt the need to have a log of it?” Again she held up the device. “Some are like this, pointless ramblings about things that make no sense. I found one that talked about the importance of a relationship that people were watching somehow. It said something about how those watching should support one relationship over another. I’ve found others that thought Zero Dawn was the stupidest thing mankind had ever done, one even calling the people the ‘Idiot Army’. Some are just really sad, suicide notes, remembering past relationships, things like that.”

“So they kept journals, logs of their desires and ambitions?”

“I suppose so. Though some seem more forced than that entails. Like there was someone telling them they should, or maybe they had no one else to say these things to, so they recorded it.” Aloy could see the appeal of something like that. To have her thoughts and inner turmoil out in the open, even if it was on some kind of recording device or a paper log. It may even be cathartic. 

Nil gave her a shrug, and she could tell that this didn’t appeal to him. She wasn’t surprised. While he wasn’t much of a talker, he did tend to say what was on his mind. It was one of the things she loved about him. His straight-forwardness had led to their first encounter turning into more than she had expected. She still blushed when thinking about that day. Still found it so incredibly stupid. They had both acted on instinct, rather than really thinking about any consequences that would come of it. 

They were approaching Sunfall now and her nerves sent jolts of unwelcome energy through her entire body. She wanted to draw her bow, just to have something in her hands. Something that would let her feel protected from what she knew would be coming.

She jumped when her focus made the whirring noise, telling her Sylens was about to speak.

“Sunfall. The Mad-King Jiran’s summer palace. A bulwark of Carja might against the howling Forbidden West.” 

The fact that the focus and his voice had made her jump caused her words to come out harsh. “Thanks for the history lesson.”

“But they have no idea what lies beneath. We will learn much from this, Aloy.”

She hated when he tacked her name on to the end of a sentence. It always made his words feel condescending. She sighed, “That’s what I’m hoping.” Why else would she be taking this gamble? She wouldn’t have come here if she didn’t have to. If these ruins held no secrets, or if they were just as vague as the others, this could all blow up in her face. She knew this, but the thrill of finally having answers pushed her forward. 

At the end of the road, outside the entrance to the fortress, a tent city had been erected. It was much larger than she had anticipated and Aloy’s heart sank as she realized all of these people had turned their back on Meridian only to end up destitute. The people of this makeshift city all looked tired, sick, weather-worn and downtrodden. There were children, barely clad, with bloated, hungry bellies. Infirm lined the ground. 

Without thinking, she reached for Nil’s hand. She needed something to anchor her or she may burst into tears. This was sick. How could the Shadow Carja let their people live this way? The stories she had heard were nothing in comparison to seeing the truth of it spread out before her. 

But what caught her attention was a small girl. She was pale and shaking. It was obvious that she was very sick. A young man stood over her, clenching a dirty and tear-soaked rag in his hands. 

“Aloy, are you okay,” Nil asked.

At the mention of her name, she knew she must be showing some of what she was feeling. Nil rarely called her that. 

“It’s… This… Horrible.” Words didn’t seem to be enough to encompass the atrocities here. 

She was compelled to help these people in any way she could. She knew Avad had been sending food, but these people needed so much more than that. They needed medicine, better living quarters. 

With Nil’s hand still in hers, she approached the man standing over the sick girl. “She’s very pale. Is she unwell?”

He stood and turned sad eyes to both of them. “Yes. She’s a fighter, but the fever on her won’t lift. It only burns hotter. Her name is Shianah. My sister.”

Aloy took another look around the tent city. There didn’t seem to be anyone trying to give out aid to these poor people. “Isn’t there anyone in Sunfall who can help?”

The man shook his head. “We’re refugees. We know our place. And there is only one healer in the territory. He’s… difficult. His soul is in shadow.”

Aloy didn’t understand what that meant. “His… soul is in shadow?”

He nodded as if she should understand this, and not answering her question. “Ghualv – that’s him – he’s very clever. But he has little care for people. Perhaps the desert scoured it all away. Perhaps he was always like that. Either way, I know he won’t help us.”

She turned to Nil. She knew he didn’t like running errands for people but there must have been something in her eyes because he simply nodded. 

“Well, I’ll see about that. Where would I find him?”

“Last I heard, he was patching up soldiers at Blazon Arch, another border battle.” He gave her a sad smile. It was almost as if he wanted to thank her intent, but was sure she would never be able to pull it off. 

This set a fire under her skin. How could someone who worked as a healer have no care for anyone here? Why would someone work as a healer if they had no care for their own people? It brought angry tears welling into her eyes. The Nora would never let their people live like this, not even the Outcasts. And Avad, he would never allow his people to live in such squalor. But, she had to remember, these people willingly turned their backs on Avad. And she heard the mutterings of those gathered here. They called him a murderer. They called him weak. 

She wanted to yell at them, to scream at the top of her lungs that they were complete fools, but she knew better than to cause a scene. She couldn’t draw attention to herself. If the wrong people caught wind of her presence, this mission would be over before it started. 

Nil tugged on her arm, pulling her back to the here and now. “Aloy, this is their own doing. They chose this.”

She nodded, knowing that was the truth. But she just couldn’t wrap her mind around it. “I still need to do what I can to help them. Let’s go find the healer and talk some sense into him. If we can’t, you have my permission to kill him.”

A slow smile spread across Nil’s lips. “I love it when you say such sweet things.”

Aloy laughed. She couldn’t help it, and it was enough to stop the tears from coming. She wondered for a moment if that was his intent.


	34. Traitor's Bounty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy and Nil assist Vanasha in finding and helping Uthid.
> 
> #Niloy

The healer asked for the outrageous price of a Thunderjaw heart, in order for him to offer his services to the sick, little girl. Aloy truly considered allowing Nil to plant an arrow deep in the man’s chest. It would have given him and her no small amount of satisfaction. But seeing as he was the only known healer in the region, she couldn’t bring herself to allow it. 

Having seen to the one person Aloy could help outside the gates; she knew it was time to finally enter the ruins beneath the city. It was what she had traveled so far for. Answers. She was so close. Yet, she couldn’t contain her nerves. She knew the Eclipse would be inside the gates. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy. And if Helis was actually there, she knew she may have to face him. 

She and Nil made their way through the gates and into the lower market. They spoke with a merchant at the entrance, and Aloy unloaded all of the unnecessary scrap she had collected on their way to the city. She didn’t want to be overburdened during whatever may come in the next few hours. She also purchased a new sling, selling her old one. The sling was sturdier than her old one and because of that, more powerful. The merchant told her, there was even a different type of bomb she could use with this new one. That appealed to her, simply because she could now use all elemental bombs without worry. 

She knew standing there, speaking with the merchant was a delaying tactic, but she didn’t want to enter the city bouncing with nervous energy. She would surely give herself away. 

Nil placed a steadying hand on her arm, running his fingers across her skin. Just knowing he was there was a bit of a comfort. She was happy to have someone to lean on. She did worry about his armor, though. Would it be a dead giveaway that they didn’t belong here? She supposed no more than the fact that she was obviously Nora. She still wore her Carja leathers, but that had never fooled anyone.

As they made their way to the central pavilion, Sylens voice spoke through her focus again. Aloy had approached the balustrade that lined a central ring. She could see the machine waltzing about below. Then she realized the machine wasn’t alone. Three fighters stood in the ring with it, brandishing lances. 

“The Sun Ring. A proud tradition of the Carja.” The bitterness in his words was not lost on her. She knew very little about Sylens and wondered if there may be a reason for the interruption.

“Stay off my focus.” He knew she was doing everything she could to stay focused. Yet, it never stopped him from speaking up whenever he felt like it. She would have a hard time explaining why she was speaking to the open air, and if any Eclipse saw her doing so, they would know she had a focus.

“If the Eclipse catches you there, you’ll be lucky if you survive long enough to wind up in that ring.” 

She groaned aloud. Nil gave her a questioning look. He was used to Sylens’ interruptions but he never liked how aggravated she grew after only a few moments of hearing his voice. 

Aloy shook her head, in a not now gesture. They were approaching the palace and she didn’t want to say anything the guards may hear. 

Another jolt of irritation ran through her as she was passing the guards at the bottom of the stairs, and Sylens’ voice was again in her ear. 

“Now we get to see if your attack on the focus network was entirely successful.”

She paused, and turned to Nil, acting as if she were speaking to him and not the open air. “What are you talking about? Did I crash the network or not?” 

Nil gave her a confused look for a moment, but quickly realized what she was doing. And as her words sank in, his posture stiffened and his eyes grew hard. She had a feeling if Sylens and Nil ever came face to face, he might just try to kill the man. He didn’t like that she was always walking into danger on his word alone.

After a few moments of silence, from her focus and from Nil, she proceeded to the entrance of the palace. Her heart gave a jolt as she realized there were troops training in the small arena just outside the gates. But then a booming voice yelled out above the noise of the gathered crowd and she turned her attention to the other group that occupied the landing. There were quite a few outsiders. She counted Banuk, Oseram, and even a few Nora amongst them. Maybe this was her way in. If she followed these men, acted like one of them, she could make her way to the palace without question.

She fell in step behind the group, Nil on her heels. They were all talking about a new bounty and how it would pay handsomely. She realized quickly that all of these men were headhunters, lances, and bows for hire. If they were in Nora land, these men would be exiled. But here, it seemed they were prized. They were simply another instrument of this corrupt part of the Carja. 

“Success. Welcome to the Citadel, Aloy. I’ll check back with you in a moment.”

Aloy groaned again, this time drawing attention from one of the mercenaries. 

“Not excited about the competition?” The man asked, his voice dripping with disdain.

Aloy chose not to respond and instead turned her attention to the center of the room where a man clad in red robes stood. She recognized him as being a Sun-Priest. She had met a few of them before. 

But then, her attention shifted. Above the Sun Priest sat a child and a woman. The boy couldn’t be any older than ten and by the rounded cheeks and the way he sat clutching the woman, she could only assume his age to be much younger than that. And a longer look told her that the boy looked familiar, but she wasn’t sure why. 

“By the glory of the Sun revealed!” The priest’s voice carried over the gathered crowd. “Behold! Radiant Itamen, the one true Sun-King!” 

One true Sun-King? Did this mean what she thought it meant? As the priest continued to speak, she examined the boy again and was shocked to see why the boy looked so familiar. If she could imagine what Avad would have looked like as a boy, this would be it. Was this Avad’s brother? She didn’t even know he had one. Why had he not told her that the Shadow Carja had his brother sitting on the throne? Were they not close enough for him to care? No, that couldn’t be it. He was just a child. A child who now sat clutching his mother’s robes. He looked terrified. If that was the case, wouldn’t Avad want his brother rescued? 

“I can see your confusion. Did your precious Sun-King not tell you about this,” Nil whispered in her ear. 

She tossed him a seething look and he took a step back. 

Then a soft voice purred from her other side. “More prisoners than royalty. Don’t you think?”

Aloy tried to ignore the woman. She was here for the secrets below the Citadel, not to make friends. 

“Hmm. I love your hair.”

This time Aloy cast the woman a cursory once-over. She didn’t look like any of the Shadow Carja, but Aloy wasn’t certain what the woman was trying to elicit from her with the compliment. She took a step forward, hoping that the woman got the idea that she didn’t have time to be talking to anyone.

The woman stepped even closer, her arm brushing Aloy’s as she leaned in to whisper, “You and I need to chat, little huntress. The green tent, down in Shadowside. I’ll be waiting.”

Aloy scowled. Why couldn’t this woman take a hint? “I’m kinda busy.”

She paused, stopping only a step away. “We both know you are no killer for hire. Uthid is innocent. So come see me. While there’s still time to save him.”

This time Aloy did turn to the woman but was only offered her back as she sauntered off. She couldn’t help but wonder what this woman knew of her or why she thought Aloy could help her. But she knew, if the woman was telling the truth, she couldn’t let all of the men in this room go chasing after him without doing something about it.

She sighed, resigned to the fact that she would follow the woman back to her tent.

“The ‘way in’ I spoke of is right behind you,” Sylens said, taking her attention away from her sashaying walk through the door. 

Aloy peered over her shoulder, only to realize, she was feet away from the Sun-Ring. “You have got to be kidding.”

“Not at all. And you needn’t worry about the Kestrels. They’ll be too busy acting important to pay attention to you.”

She was steps away. She knew it, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn her back on someone in need. As the voices died down around her, she grabbed Nil’s hand and led him out of the palace.

 

“This wasn’t part of the plan.” Nil stood with his arms crossed.

“I know, Nil,” Aloy said, exasperatedly. 

“You don’t even know who this woman is.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t know you and I helped you, didn’t I?” She crossed her arms, mimicking Nil’s stance. 

He relaxed a bit, dropping his arms back to his sides. “Fair point.” He lifted his hand and made a gesture for her to proceed to the woman’s tent.

She rolled her eyes. Sometimes the man could be so stubborn and other times he ceded to her with only a few words. 

As they approached the tent, Aloy was surprised to find the woman handing out food to some of the children of the tent city. This loosened some of the tension, Aloy hadn’t realized she’s been holding onto since making the decision to turn from her goal and help her. She had a feeling that was probably the cause of Nil not wanting to pursue this lead. He could always sense when she was on edge. 

The veiled woman stood from stooping over the children and gave Aloy and Nil a once-over. Her eyes lingered on Nil for a moment before turning back to Aloy. She smiled brightly. “I’ve heard whispers about you. Rides machines, fancy spear, delightful freckles. Some even say you have a conscience. How extraordinary!” 

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh at the woman’s enthusiasm. “Who are you? You’re obviously not one of the Shadow Carja.”

“My name is Vanasha. For now, all you need to know is I am a whisper of reason, in this howling pit of insanity.” 

Aloy let out a heavy sigh, “I know that feels.” Too often people looked to her for advice, for a sliver of hope.

Vanasha nodded. Aloy expected that maybe she had heard more about her than she was letting on. “I’m sure you do. And so does Uthid. He’s a good man, so naturally, the Shadow Carja want to murder him.”

They talked for a while about Uthid and his crimes. Aloy came to realize the only crime the man committed was making the leaders of the Shadow Carja look bad. She wasn’t about to let the lone man ready to stand up to these heathens fall to their hands or the hands they purchased. Vanasha told Aloy where she could find Uthid, on the Greenclimb. She told her the markers to look for and that the position Uthid held was defensible. It was really all Aloy needed to know to rescue him, so she decided to take the job.

Jokingly she asked Vanasha what she planned to do while she risked her life, and Vanasha made a quip about having things to do in the city. Aloy couldn’t help but be thankful that even though she wasn’t willing to come with her, Vanasha didn’t seem to be like Sylens and his demands that she do all the work with little to nothing on his part being at risk. 

 

Aloy and Nil made their way to the Greenclimb. She had called a mount so the ride didn’t take long and the trip was fairly quiet. She was surprised to see no signs of the mercenaries. She was sure they had left the palace long before she had, but it did bode well for them if they arrived first. At least, then they would be there to defend Uthid if an attack came, instead of attempting to rescue him. 

 

The fight seemed like it would never end. Wave after wave of mercenaries came pouring over the mountainside. They made little to no progress on their attempt to escape the cliff side Uthid had taken his position on. It seemed with every rise, there was a new enemy to face. And then Bahavas made his presence known. It lit a fire under Uthid and he fought savagely. Aloy was quite impressed with the older man. Maybe Vanasha was right and he would be an asset to Avad once this was all over. 

They crested the last rise to Bahavas. He was not without protection. One of the men with him had an Oseram cannon. Aloy wondered how the Shadow Carja had even gotten their hands on one. But as she took the soldier bearing the cannon down, she realized this was more like the one Dervahl had and not like the one Petra had let her use. She wondered just how far Dervahl had spread his weapons and lures. It seemed she was finding evidence of his work everywhere.

Finally, this left Uthid and Bahavas alone. Aloy and Nil watched as the men argued, but when Bahavas turned pleading eyes to her, she turned her back on him. She knew this would be something Uthid would need to do. She understood vengeance well enough, but it didn’t mean she would have to watch. 

Footsteps crunched on the ice and snow below them and Aloy peaked over the edge of the rise, ensuring no one would get the jump on them. She was surprised to see Vanasha standing just feet from them. Aloy hadn’t thought a woman dressed in purple robes and a veil would be able to make the climb to the summit. Most of the Carja she had met, especially the women, were content to have someone else do the work for them, have someone else fight for them. Maybe she had underestimated the woman.

Aloy smiled, realizing she knew better than to underestimate a woman. She was from a tribe where women held control, where women were powerful. Maybe she had spent too much time in the Sundom. “Took you long enough.”

Vanasha smirked. “I was busy. What do you think happened to Yun’s Shunned, the other mercenary band? And I had to organize passage to Meridian for a wanted man.”

Aloy and Nil hopped down from the rise they were on and approached Vanasha. She was more than happy to hear the woman was just as capable as she was. It was such a rare thing to find here and she felt that maybe they could share the bond of sisterhood that she had lacked all her life in the Sacred Lands.

“Give us a moment, Uthid. Girl talk.” She turned her eyes to Nil.

Aloy nodded to him, letting him know she could handle whatever Vanasha planned to discuss on her own. He nodded and turned to the fallen bodies, looting what he could from their packs. She shook her head. He knew this would be something she would do and since she was busy, he was going to take care of it himself.

Uthid huffed but walked away. It left her and Vanasha alone. They discussed their next move. Vanasha wanted help getting Itamen and his mother out of the Shadow Carja’s grasp. It was a noble thing but Aloy wasn’t so sure it would be easy. Vanasha assured her there would be no trouble with Bahavas gone. All she would have to do was wait. She sent her and Nil to meet with a man named Three-Toed Huadiv. He was supposed to ensure that the path for them was clear, and Aloy would be able to assist if something came up that the men weren’t able to handle. 

As Aloy approached, Nil spoke. “I heard what she said. Are we really going to try and save the Shadow Carja’s Sun-King?”

Aloy shrugged. “I guess so. But when we get back to Meridian, Avad is going to have some explaining to do.”

“He really didn’t tell you his brother was the leader of the Shadow Carja?” 

“Well, I wouldn’t say leader. You saw him. He was nothing more than a terrified little boy. And, to be completely honest, his mother didn’t look any better. I think Vanasha is right and they are more captives and figureheads.” She kicked at the snow, not sure what else to say about the situation. She knew Nil had no interest in taking on any political situations. He had told her many times before that this wasn’t his fight.

“Alright. But can we get off this mountain now? The chill is cutting my bones like tiny little blades.” He rubbed his arms to garner some friction. 

“I told you before to buy warmer gear.” 

He glared at her for a moment. “Yes, yes. Can we go now?”

 

They decided to make camp for the night. Huadiv would have a head start on them, but it wasn’t likely that Vanasha would attempt to break Itamen and his mother out that night. And Aloy couldn’t imagine that Vanasha would be stupid enough to pull a stunt like that in the middle of the day. They had time.

They sat in companionable silence while their food cooked. Aloy crafted arrows and Nil sharpened his blade. The sound of the whetstone gliding along the blade set a rhythmic tone and gave Aloy’s mind something to focus on.

Her thoughts had been chaotic since leaving Uthid and Vanasha. She was walking away from the answers she sought, but in doing so, providing Avad with a military expert. Not only that, if tomorrow went well, she would also be returning to the Sundom with his brother. She still didn’t understand why Avad had left this piece of information out of his assessment of Sunfall. She wondered why he wouldn’t ask for her help if he wanted him back in Meridian. He hadn’t lied to her, but he hadn’t been completely honest either. 

When the food was ready, she dropped her crafting materials next to her bedroll and sat next to Nil. “Why do you think Avad didn’t tell me about his brother?”

Nil turned to look at her but said nothing. His shoulders lifted in a shrug.

She sighed and turned her attention back to her food, picking the meat off of the skewer with her fingers. She wasn’t really hungry, so when Nil finished his, she handed what was left of hers to him.

“It’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “A little. But that’s a worry for tomorrow.”

Aloy stripped off her armor. She was tired and aggravated. Sleep sounded like a better option than trying to talk this through with Nil’s shrugs as his only response. She slipped into her bedroll and turned her back to Nil and the fire. 

A few moments later, she was drifting off to sleep. Nil lifted the blanket over her body and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her flush with his chest. He nuzzled into her neck and kissed her earlobe. “Goodnight, my little huntress.”


	35. Queen's Gambit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot going on in this chapter, including Aloy and Erend talking about her wanting to be with all three men.

“Luminance.” The scout bowed as he entered Avad’s chamber. 

Avad had been preparing for bed. He was about to turn the scout away, but realized, if he felt it important enough to find him in his chambers, then he should probably listen to the man. “Yes, report.”

“We’ve word from Sunfall.”

At this, Avad grew anxious. He knew Aloy was there and his mind automatically went to the worst case scenario. Was she captured? Did she get hurt? He twisted his hands together and tried to control his breathing. He should have done more to stop her. Yet, the scout had said nothing of Aloy, only that he carried word from her known location. He was getting ahead of himself. 

Avad nodded for the scout to continue his report. 

“The spy, Vanasha. She has sent word that she was able to recover Prince Itamen and his mother. She and an entourage should be making port in the morning.” He bowed slightly, telling Avad that his report was concluded. 

Avad sighed. While he was happy that Itamen was coming home, there was no news of Aloy within the scout’s report. It did nothing to settle his nerves. He only wanted to know if she was okay. And, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to hold her, to keep her close and protect her from the coming storm. 

“Thank you. Could you please inform, Marad?”

The scout bowed again and left the room.

 

Avad got little sleep that night. His mind refused to quiet when the scout gave no mention of Aloy. He could only hope she had been able to slip in and out undetected. Now, Marad was insisting they make plans for a party. How could he think this a good plan? They were in the middle of a civil war and his spymaster wanted to throw a celebration?

“It will be good for morale and it will give the nobility a show of solidarity between you and Itamen. You must keep up appearances. You are the King and while Itamen has held the throne elsewhere, it would do no good to bring him home and hide him in a corner. Openly acknowledge him. Let the Carja know where you both stand.” 

Avad rubbed his temples. He knew Marad was right, but how was he supposed to celebrate? His nerves were overworked. His mind going to so many different places. Yet, he was supposed to smile and celebrate? But then it dawned on him, this show of acceptance could bring some of the Shadow Carja back to Meridian. He could bring his people home. He knew, deep in his heart, that some would choose to stay in Sunfall, but if Itamen was here, they could bring some of the hurting and destitute back into the fold. He could open the party and Meridian to all Carja. If they saw him and Itamen standing together in a united front, he may have a way to save those he had been trying to aid for so long. It would be risky, and he would have to ensure the Vanguard held a noticeable presence, but a sliver of hope took root in his heart.

“Alright. Let’s have a party. I want everyone to know all Carja are welcome. Let them see their King and their Prince standing together in a united front.”

 

Aloy, Nil, Huadiv, Vanasha, Uthid, Itamen, and Nassadi all boarded the small boat, along with a small contingent of Royal Guards. Vanasha had been a bit lax in her assessment of the situation. Aloy and Nil had been forced to take down a Rockbreaker to clear the path for their Royal companions. But the fight hadn’t ended there. Just as they thought they were in the clear, the Shadow Carja made their presence known.

Aloy, Vanasha, and Nil took up positions in the valley. Corrupted machines and Carja soldiers came in waves down the ravine. Aloy set her traps as Nil and Vanasha made short work of the soldiers, pelting them with arrows and driving them to the tripwires. They had thought the battle over when a roar split the air. Aloy knew that sound well and turned to Vanasha. 

“Get them out of here. We’ve got this.” She turned to Nil and he nodded, letting her know he was with her.

“Alright little huntress, I can admit when I am out of my league.” She turned to the guards who were staying behind to assist, threatening their lives if Aloy didn’t return when they did. 

As they retreated, the corrupted Thunderjaw came into view. Aloy quickly reset her traps and handed Nil a handful of tearblast arrows. “Aim for the cannons. I need one to drop.” Then she addressed the soldiers, “Cover me. I need to get close enough to pick up the cannon. Keep it distracted.”

The fight went just as Aloy had planned, but not without loss. One of the guards fell to the Thunderjaw. But she couldn’t mourn him. She had to get to the boat and ensure all who walked away from the fight were safe. 

Aloy didn’t like the quiet that had settled over them once they were all underway. It grated at her, reminded her that she had walked away from the answers she sought in Sunfall. It reminded her that Avad hadn’t trusted her with the knowledge that his brother was the figurehead of the Shadow Carja. Why had he seen the need to omit this fact?

“Aloy,” Nil’s voice nearly made her jump, she was so lost in thought.

“When we get to Brightmarket, I don’t want to be seen. When the boat lands, I will make my way to the outskirts of Meridian. I will meet you there.” 

Aloy nodded. This she expected. Just the fact that he was forced onto a boat with this many people had to be trying for him. She placed a consoling hand on his thigh. 

Across from her, Vanasha watched the exchange. Aloy wondered if Vanasha knew who Nil was. It was likely, given the fact that she was assisting in the palace and that she thought she could ingrate Uthid into the coming battle. She had also begun to assume Vanasha was a spy. The way she evaded questions with her charms, the fact that her eyes only lingered on interesting things she may be able to use later, it all made her feel like the woman was always gathering secrets.

Her evaluation of Vanasha was interrupted as a small hand took hers. “Huntress. I wish to thank you for your assistance in seeing my mother and me to safety. You fought valiantly.” He gave a tiny bow and smiled.

Aloy was taken aback at how well-spoken Itamen was. He was so young. Children shouldn’t know how to speak this way. Should they? She could only assume it was because he had been trained to speak like the King he was pretending to be. “I was happy to assist.”

Nassadi smiled and nodded to Aloy. It seemed she had given Itamen the push to approach her and was proud of the way he had done it. 

Aloy then realized, no one here besides Nil, knew her connection to Avad. They may have heard stories of the machine rider, or of her battle prowess, but they didn’t know that she was in love with the man who would hold their lives in his hands upon their return to the city. 

“Are you happy to be returning to Meridian?” 

Itamen grew a bit nervous at her question and looked to his mother for support.

“We don’t know what awaits us there, Huntress,” Nassadi stated flatly.

Aloy took Itamen’s hands in hers and crouched so she could be face to face with him. “Avad is a good man. Kind and gentle. Whatever may have happened over the last few years, he will not hold it against you or your mother. Just by returning, you are showing him that you wanted out of that life. He will understand.”

She knew the rumors that had spread through Sunfall about Avad. She’d heard enough of them on her way to the Citadel. She couldn’t dispel all of them. He was, in fact, a murderer, though Aloy didn’t see it that way. But she could share what she knew of the Sun-King now. 

 

As they neared the docks, Aloy was surprised to see another Royal entourage. She should have known Avad would come to greet his brother personally. When the boat landed, Aloy hung back, wanting to give Avad a moment to speak with Itamen and Nassadi and give to Nil the chance he needed to find a way out of the situation. He gathered his pack and made his way around the water side of the docks. 

She was watching Nil walk away when Avad called out to her. 

“It seems I see your influence everywhere.” His smile was strained.

She crossed her arms, stepping into his personal space. “We will talk about this later,” she whispered in a growling breath. 

Avad nodded sheepishly, his hand reaching up to massage his neck. “May you walk in the light, Aloy.” He walked away from her then, taking his brother’s hand, and making his way back to Meridian.

“Appalling! I spend two years in the Forbidden West setting this up, and the redhead gets all the credit?” Vanasha groaned. She hadn’t missed the exchange between her and Avad and was casting a questioning look her way. 

Aloy shrugged.

Huadiv made an off-hand comment about still getting paid and Vanasha told him he’d be lucky to leave with his life. Aloy wondered what she meant. The man had done what he set out to do, his men getting killed in the process. But Huadiv just groaned and walked away.

Vanasha approached Aloy, placing her fingertips on her arm. “I couldn’t have done this without you.” He fingers glided across Aloy’s flesh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “When we meet again, little huntress, I will give you a proper thanks. I promise.” 

Aloy knew the look in Vanasha’s eyes now. She had seen it enough times from Nil. It was predatory but flirtatious. Aloy sighed. While Vanasha was beautiful and Aloy had a hard time peeling her eyes away from the woman’s abs, she didn’t have time to add another lover to her already full day. 

Aloy waited for Vanasha to walk out of view before taking a quicker route to the palace. As she crested the hill at Brightmarket, she whistled for a Strider. The machine galloped up next to her and she took off in the opposite direction of the Royal entourage.

 

She snuck into Avad’s chambers, which was easy enough, given that the Royal Guard was with him and not in the palace, and waited for his return. She was sure Avad would be notified of her presence once he entered the gate, but she wanted to talk to him. The sneaking was to avoid Marad and the Vanguard. She wasn’t ready to see Erend. And she was still mad at Avad for not telling her about Itamen. As she waited, she stripped off her armor and used the washing basin to clean up. She didn’t want to go to the baths. She needed to be clear-headed when she spoke with Avad. The baths only conjured up images if his naked body, of Baniti, servicing him, and she didn’t want to have those thoughts racing through her mind as she tried to put him in his place. 

She was finishing up, rebraiding her hair, as the door to the bedchamber opened. She swiveled her body around on the stool turning to face him. Whatever he saw in her eyes made him cringe. 

He approached her and knelt down, taking her hands in his. “Aloy, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you walking into danger for me again.”

That took some of the fire from her anger but didn’t dampen it completely. “Your spy, Vanasha. She had no problem asking for my assistance. And how could I say no? I knew almost the moment I saw him, who he was.” This wasn’t completely true, but Avad didn’t know that. She crossed her arm in front of her and cocked an eyebrow waiting for him to say anything that would make this situation better.

When he said nothing, she spun back to the mirror and continued working on her braids. As she was weaving the final bead into her hair, Avad’s hands landed on her shoulders. He lifted her hair and brushed it to the side, over her shoulder. Aloy was reminded of the last time he did that and heat rose to her cheeks. But it wasn’t his lips he placed on her neck. His fingers stroked her tense muscles. The pads of his thumbs finding the aches she didn’t know she had.

She moaned softly but caught his eye in the looking glass. “This doesn’t make me any less mad at you.” 

His lips quirked in a knowing smile. “Maybe not, but you’ll feel better once I’m finished.”

She let him massage her for a few more moments before placing her hands over his, halting the soothing motion. Then she turned to face him. “Avad, you lied to me. You told me you didn’t want me going to Sunfall because it was dangerous. But you didn’t tell me it was because you didn’t want me getting tangled in your affairs.”

He nodded and turned his eyes from hers. “It wasn’t my intention to lie to you. But you are right. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I have been worried about you since the moment you left the city. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my brother. But now he is home safe and so are you. I should have known you’d find a way to help him if you could.” He took a seat on the bed across from her. 

She sighed. How was she supposed to stay mad at this man when he immediately apologized and owned up to what he did? “Avad, don’t lie to me again.”

He nodded and gave her a guilty smile. 

“Well, I guess I should go.” She rose to leave, gathering the rest of her things. 

“Wait. The nobility are throwing a party to celebrate Itamen’s return. I would like for you to be there.” He rose and closed the distance between them, taking her hand in his. “Please?”

A party? The only party Aloy had attended was the Blessing, the night before the Proving. She recalled how loud it was and how many people there were in one place. It didn’t sound like anything she would be interested in, but the pleading look in Avad’s eyes was begging her to say yes. 

“There will be music, good food, and dancing. Carja nobles will be dressed in their finest attire. You could stand by my side as we laugh at how ridiculous it all is. But you would have to look the part. What do you say? Care to act like a Carja noble for a night?” 

The standing around and laughing part had her intrigued, but dancing? She didn’t know how to dance. She would be the one looking ridiculous. Her teeth sank into her lower lip, and she nervously ran her thumb along Avad’s hand. “I don’t know.”

Avad must have realized that this was what had thrown her, because he said, “If you come by the palace tomorrow, I can teach you how to dance.”

She shifted on her feet. Carja nobles, her dressed as one, she wasn’t sure she could handle that. She liked her solitude. And she still hadn’t been under the Citadel. This was just another distraction from her mission. 

“Avad…” she started, but he took her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“Please, Aloy. It would mean a lot to me.” 

How could she deny him when he looked at her like that? His eyes were pleading, begging her to say yes. And he still held her hand so close to his mouth. His lips brushing across her skin, his breath warming her palm. It made her think of those soft lips on hers. Of the sweet and tender way he made love to her. 

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn’t need to be thinking of him like that. Not yet. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with Erend about his views on her taking multiple lovers. 

“Alright. But if I am horrible, you only have yourself to blame.” She smiled slightly, knowing any attempt to dance would probably end in disaster. She had seen the performers in the streets of Meridian. She had never tried to mimic the moves she’d seen, but they seemed rhythmic, in step with the music. She only hoped she wouldn’t be making a complete fool of herself.

 

Aloy left the palace. Avad seemed overjoyed by her acquiescence. She was hardly surprised. Just by agreeing to go to this party meant she would be spending a few days in Meridian. And any day spent here meant she wouldn’t be returning to Sunfall and the dangers that awaited her there. It did make her wonder if that was part of his motivations for the invitation. 

She stopped at one of the stalls that sold skewers of meat and purchased her lunch, then set off to Erend’s house. She wasn’t sure if he would be there or not, but they had a few things to discuss and she wanted to get them out of the way before spending the next few days in the city. 

She was about to slip her key into the lock when she realized the door was already open. This would mean Erend was home. She pushed through the door. 

The sound of running water was coming from the bathing room. That must mean Erend was in the shower. She was tempted to join him, but she didn’t want the conversation she was about to have with him be tempered with false pretenses. So she waited until he stepped out of the room with nothing but a towel draped around his hips.

“Aloy. I didn’t know you were home.” His voice lowered an octave and his eyebrows jumped. “You could have joined me.”

She smiled and patted the couch, shifting so he could sit beside her. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

His brow creased in concern. It was almost enough to make her put this conversation off and just enjoy the rest of the day with him, but she needed to ask him, to have his approval for what she wanted. 

He took a seat beside her and shifted to face her. It left most of his body exposed and made it hard for her to concentrate on the words she needed to say.

“Erend, you know that I love you, right?”

He nodded but frowned. 

“And you know I love Avad?”

Again, he nodded and the frown deepened. 

“I have been thinking. You know I am not familiar with how relationships work, but I have noticed among the Carja, that it is not unusual to be with more than one person.”

Erend shifted uncomfortably at her words, bringing his hand up to run it through his wet Mohawk. “Aloy, are you asking me for permission to sleep with Avad?”

“No, no. That’s not it. I love you both, and I love Nil. My heart has been equally split in three. I care about all of you. I want to be with all of you. It isn’t about sex. It is about love. Erend, this seems strange to me as well, and being with you makes me so happy. But being with Avad and Nil makes me happy, too.” She searched his face, but it was as blank as Nil’s usually was. 

After a few moments, he began to show some sign of emotion, but it wasn’t what she was hoping for. He took a deep breath and let out a guttural growl. “I knew this was too good to be true. I knew I could feel you slipping away.”

“No, Erend, I’m not slipping away from you. I love you.” She tried to take his hand but he pulled away.

“You love me but you want to be with other people. How would you feel if I went sleeping around while you were gone?” He stood and began pacing around the living room.

“Is that what you want?” Aloy didn’t like the direction of this conversation, but she couldn’t fault Erend for thinking this way. Of course, he would think this was about sex. But she was doing her best to explain that it wasn’t.

He looked shocked by her question. “No, Aloy. I want you and only you. But how am I supposed to be okay with this? How am I supposed to look at Avad, knowing you’ve been in his bed?”

“I’ve already been in his bed, but that hasn’t changed anything between us. You sought me out in his bedchamber. Do you look at Avad any differently now than you did before that day?” 

He stopped pacing and stood, looking down at her. She squirmed under his heated scrutiny. She could see a war of emotions play over his face. Then he sighed and returned to his spot at her side. “Aloy that day you made a promise to me. It made the fact that you had slept together a little easier to handle. But now you are telling me you want to be with him again.”

“Erend, I…” He lifted a hand to stop her words.

“Let me finish. I love you, Aloy. More than I ever thought possible. But I would be lying if I told you I couldn’t see how much you two care for each other. We’ve even talked about it. But I don’t know if I can handle seeing you with him. It hurt so much to see you emerging from his bedchamber, in his clothes. How am I supposed to handle that again?”

“Maybe by remembering that I love you. Would you have hated that day so much if instead of seeing me turn away, I came up to you and kissed you? Would it have been so hard if you knew that even after that I would come home to you and nothing between us would have changed? Or would it be so bad to see me even happier than I am now, knowing I don’t have to worry about being so divided? I want this to work for all of us. I don’t want me to be happy, Avad to be happy, Nil to be happy and have you torn by my decision. But more than that, I don’t want to lose you. Erend, you are my rock. You are the person that I can always count on. You make me laugh and bring light to my day. You were the first person to ever truly love me.” She took his hand then and he allowed it. 

“I’m not asking for your answer now. I am staying for Itamen’s party, so I will be in the city for a few days. If you need some time to think about this, I can give you that. But, please, remember, this isn’t about sex. It’s that I care for all of you so much that I can’t imagine my life without any of you.”

Erend nodded, she could see his mind trying to work through all she had just said. “Alright. Give me a few days to think about it. I can’t promise that I will agree, but we can see how the next few days go, maybe by then some of this will make sense.” He shook his head and brought his hands to his face rubbing fiercely as if trying to scrub away the last few minutes. 

She stood, ready to leave Erend to his thoughts, but his hand on hers stopped her and she turned back to him. 

“Before you leave, come here.” He tugged on her arm, pulling her into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. 

She returned his hug, rubbing her cheek against his. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

“I’ve missed you, too.”


	36. Guest at the Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy takes a guest room at the palace while Erend does some thinking.
> 
> #Alvad

Aloy decided to return to the palace. She considered camping outside the city with Nil but didn’t want the hassle of explaining why she wasn’t heading back to Sunfall immediately. She knew he could talk her into leaving almost as easily as Avad talked her into staying. And, to be honest, she wouldn’t need much of a push. The more she thought about Itamen’s party, the more nervous she became. According to Avad, all of the Carja nobility would be there. She had no idea how many nobles that would be, but Meridian was a large city. Her mind wandered to the Blessing, the first time she’d been in so much company, and the sights and sounds of so many people crammed into one space. And she remembered the whispers as she passed, the hurled insults behind her back, the constant head turns as she made her way through Mother’s Heart. She feared this party would be no different. Most still whispered about the Nora girl in Carja clothing. 

Avad was more than pleased to see her return so soon, even though she requested that the guest quarters be prepared for her. She informed him that she had spoken with Erend, but that he was going to need some time, and she was only staying in the palace to give him some space. This didn’t remove the pleased smile from his face, nor did it calm his excitement about the coming days and her decision to stay in Meridian. 

After speaking with him for a few moments about her sleeping arrangements, she informed him that she would like to take advantage of the baths, alone. He was, of course, more than accommodating and had all of the doors to the baths locked except hers. He had Marad tell the others staying in the palace that Aloy wished to be left alone. She hadn’t meant to make it where no one else could bathe while she was in there, but it did give her a few moments to simply enjoy the heat of the water, the calming scents of the lavender oil and the simple joy of solitude. 

She had found very few moments over the course of the last few months to be with her own thoughts. Between living with Erend, traveling with Nil and the constant need to have her presence in the palace, her time was stretched thin. She’d had no desire to tell any of them to leave her alone. But there were moments when she missed her independence, missed the days when she could wander about doing what she liked whenever and wherever she wanted. 

But if it wasn’t the demands of those three, she had Sylens. She was never sure what the man saw and heard. Yet, he’d made a few comments about Nil. She wondered if he stopped listening in while she was in the city, or if he chose to ignore anything that didn’t pertain to their shared interest in Zero Dawn. And she wondered if he had ever popped in on her liaisons and then had to sever the connection quickly before he saw too much. The thought made her laugh. She really hoped that he had seen too much. Maybe it would teach him a lesson about popping in unannounced at random times. 

She was getting dressed when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” she called.

Avad stepped into the room, his eyes were bright and he wore a smile that was wide enough to make Aloy giggle. “I came to see if you’d like to have dinner with me.” He paused just inside the door, seemingly unsure of what to do now that he was in her room. 

“Of course. Just let me finish getting dressed.” All she really had left was her vest and the few pieces of jewelry she always wore. 

They made their way to the dining hall, which Aloy had only ever seen in passing, walking side-by-side. They remained close enough through their small trek that their hands brushed together as they walked. Aloy knew that both of them were eager to be able to walk through the palace holding hands and sharing small kisses along the way, but Avad was being respectful of her wish to remain friends, until Erend’s decision was made. 

The dining hall was full of people. Avad’s chair was at the head of the long table and he pulled out the seat to his right for her. Across from her, but one chair away from Avad sat Nassadi, and next to her, Itamen. Vanasha, Marad, and Uthid sat at the other end. Servants dotted the walls, some holding pitchers, others holding towels and all waited for Avad to be seated before making any move to proceed with the night’s dinner. 

Aloy had never seen such a production for something as simple as a meal before. It made her a bit nervous. Servants leaned over her, reached out to assist her, and placed everything before her. It was unnerving. 

“Huntress, I hope you like the meal tonight. Avad was kind enough to let me choose what would be served,” Nassadi gave her a small smile.

“I only wish for you and Itamen to feel at home,” Avad interjected. 

She spared a moment to nod to Avad and then turned her attention back to Aloy. 

She was at a loss as what to say. Was she supposed to compliment the woman on a meal she didn’t cook herself? Was she supposed to say she liked her choices? Avad had never made her do that. He always just watched to see if she would like what he picked for her, and when she didn’t, he’d shrug and move on. Her eyes went to Avad for some hint as to what Nassadi wanted her to say. 

“This is Aloy’s first dinner here in the palace. More than likely, she won’t have tried most things that will be served tonight.” Avad’s hand gripped her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting her know he would help her through this if it grew any more uncomfortable.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I had assumed…” Her words trailed off and she cleared her throat. She was about to speak again, but then the servants came in with the food and her attention shifted. 

One of the servants placed a bowl in front of Aloy and she examined the contents with a look of uncertainty. It looked like a mix between porridge and stew and there were roasted nuts floating on top. Aloy took her spoon and dunked it into the grey slop, then let the liquid pour back into the bowl. Whatever it was, it didn’t look appetizing. 

“Hazelnut soup,” Avad answered the question she didn’t ask. “It’s a mix of chicken broth, roasted vegetables, and nuts. It is really quite good.”

“Yeah. That’s what you said about the pomegranate.” Aloy scowled. This earned her a huff from Nassadi. 

Deciding she’d better give the soup a taste or risk further offending her, she lifted the spoon to her lips. The rich aroma hit her then and she had to admit that while the soup looked disgusting, it smelled wonderful. Tentatively, she stuck her tongue out to lick the contents from her spoon. Beside her, she heard Avad chuckle. He tried to mask it by clearing his throat and covering his mouth with this hand. 

Finally, she decided to go for it. She stuck the spoon in her mouth. The taste was unlike anything she’d had before. It was rich and creamy. She tasted a hint of herbs mixed in with the roasted, nutty flavors mingling on her tongue. It was surprisingly delicious. Wasting no more time, she dug into the soup with fervor. Too soon, the soup was gone and Aloy wasn’t even close to full. While the soup was good, it wasn’t what she would call hearty. Her tummy grumbled, protesting the fact that she hadn’t made herself full.

“It was quite delicious, Nassadi, though I am used to eating much more than that.” She said by way of apology for the sounds that were apparent to everyone close enough to hear.

Nassadi laughed, “Oh child, that was just the first course. There is plenty more to come.”

Aloy couldn’t tell if the woman was making fun of her or not and decided she didn’t like the condescending tone prevalent in the woman across from her. She was about to say something to that effect when Avad again squeezed her knee. 

She met his eyes and he gave a small shake of his head. Aloy wasn’t sure why he was telling her not to say anything. She always said what she was thinking. Her brow furrowed further when Avad turned to Nassadi.

“I did say this was her first dinner in the palace. Aloy is used to preparing whatever she catches and little else.”

Her confusion turned into a scowl and she crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t like being spoken of as if she weren’t sitting right there. It had been a long time since Avad had sounded like a noble, and Aloy didn’t like it. 

The remainder of the meal was served and consumed in a rather tense silence, broken only by a few sniggers from Vanasha at the other end of the table and by polite remarks on the food itself. Avad told her what each of the dishes was, a salad, which was surprisingly good for being nothing more than gathered herbs and a leafy lettuce. Roasted goose with a strangely sweet and bitter sauce, paired with a variety of roasted vegetables made the center of the main course. Aloy didn’t know what to make of the sauce and ended up pushing it around her plate while trying to politely use the utensils given her. She had noticed that everyone else was using a knife and fork to cut their meat and thought it would be faster to just pick up the foul and eat it with her fingers. The only thing that stopped her was that she didn’t want her fingers to be sticky afterward. 

As dessert was served, some kind of eggy pudding, Nassadi once again decided to address her. 

“Aloy do you like music? Have you had a chance to partake in any of Meridian’s street dances?” 

She almost looked to Avad, but she didn’t want him answering questions for her anymore. She didn’t like that his last response made her sound like the ‘savage’ everyone in Meridian thought she was.

“I have heard the performers in the market. But to me, it is just another sound mixed with the cacophony of the city. I’m used to being alone, in the quiet. It is jarring to come to a place where noise is everywhere.” She remembered wondering how people could even think in the marketplace her first day there. And it reminded her of Erend’s comment that he didn’t think. He just drank. She smiled to herself. That day seemed like so long ago.

“Well, surely the Nora must dance, must hold some traditions or festivals where music is abundant.” Nassadi looked genuinely intrigued by this prospect. 

“I… uh… I wouldn’t know. I was raised as an Outcast. I had only been in the city of Mother’s Heart once. It was the day before the Proving. The day before a band of assassins came to slaughter us on the mountain.” Aloy knew her eyes had grown hard at the thought of that day. She tried to keep her mind away from all that had happened, but it was always difficult. 

“Oh, I am very sorry. I didn’t know.” 

At that moment Avad signaled one of the servants and a group of them cleared the table, while another group began setting up in the corner of the dining hall with instruments. This must have been the reason Nassadi had asked if she liked music. 

“I had thought that since you will be attending Itamen’s party, that I could teach you how to dance.” Avad smiled and held his hand out to her as he stood. 

It was then that everyone else at the table stood and made their way to the open space just in front of the performers. The music started and everyone took places in front of the string and wooden instruments. 

Aloy took Avad’s hand. “Can’t I just watch? I’d rather not make a fool of myself.”

“Trust me. It’s easy.” He gave her a genuine smile as she stood. 

It wasn’t easy. There were too many steps to remember. Bow here, touch hands there, spin when your partner lifts their hand. It was all too confusing. She kept bumping into Vanasha and once almost collided with little Itamen. 

Avad laughed. “You are over thinking it. Just let your body move naturally.”

“Don’t make fun of me. I’ve never done this before. And if my body was moving naturally, I wouldn’t have to take so many steps.” It was her turn to spin, and she did so, this time colliding with Avad’s chest.

He left out an ‘oof” of air, his breath brushing her neck. He held her there for a moment before speaking again. 

“You are a huntress. Let your body move like it would on a hunt. Think of me as your prey. Stalk me, move me into position. Let your body guide you, your steps be light. Let the tension and anticipation of the kill pump through you, but don’t let it control you.”

She nodded and stepped away from his embrace. Avad held up his hand, her signal to spin and this time she did with her eyes never leaving his. Then she brought her hand up to meet his as they circled each other. She kept her steps light, her body fluid. She imagined creeping through the tall grass and lining up her sights. The precision of it, the constant thrum of her body as she breathed in and nocked her arrow. 

“There you go. Good,” Avad whispered as their bodies came together. His hand slipped around her waist, and hers fell on his chest for a moment, before he spun her away and then back into his body. 

The intimacy that had been missing from her earlier movements was now a hot tension between them. Their bodies moved together in fluid synchronicity. She kept her eyes on him, never losing sight of her prey, remaining the huntress. 

Abruptly, the music ended and she was left in Avad’s arms, staring into his deep brown eyes. She was about to close the distance to his lips when Vanasha spoke.

“Very good, little huntress. You caught on quickly.” She smiled widely. “I knew you’d figure it out. I’ve seen you fight, the way your body moves in battle. You will slay them all at the party. No one will be able to take their eyes off of you.” 

Aloy blushed. She couldn’t help it. Just a few moments ago, she had been awkwardly running into everything. It was only when Avad told her to make him her prey that she really understood what dancing was for. As their bodies touched and separated it was a call to each other, the gentle slip of fingers grazing skin, the intimacy of eye contact. It was a push and pull that set her body at war with itself. Calm and cool in the moment, yet building a yearning within each other that set every touch alight. 

She stepped away from Avad’s body. “Thank you, Vanasha. Avad seems to be quite an excellent teacher.”

Vanasha walked away with a smirk on her face. 

“Come on, Aloy. I will walk you to your room. We can work on this more tomorrow.” He took her hand and they left the dining hall. 

 

Just outside her room, they stood facing each other, but neither spoke. Avad lifted his fingers to push back one of her braids, tucking it behind her ear. He still held her hand and neither one of them seemed to want to let go. His eyes skimmed over her face, halting at her lips. 

Aloy wanted to kiss him so bad it ached. She had to keep reminding herself that this couldn’t happen until Erend decided he would be okay with it. The last thing she wanted was to move too quickly and end up hurting everyone involved. She was so certain she was close to everything she’d ever wanted. To kiss him now, to invite him inside her bedchamber could ruin everything. Her mind warred with her body. 

Then, finally, he pulled away. “Goodnight, Aloy.”


	37. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erend decides whether or not he can deal with Aloy wanting to be with other men. 
> 
> Song Inspiration:  
> Follow You - Bring Me the Horizon
> 
> #Ereloy #Alvad #Niloy

Erend still couldn’t wrap his mind around what had happened the night before. He had thought that Aloy was happy with him. He had thought he had done everything in his power to ensure that she felt loved, wanted, needed. Yet, she came to him, asking his permission to be with someone else. And not just any someone, one of his closest friends and his King. 

He had thought many times during their relationship that he wasn’t good enough for her. She was so pure, so energetic and so determined. He was none of these things. He was an angry, lazy drunk who only held his position because his sister died. Or, at least, that was what he had been. Since being with her, since being forced to find himself, he’d grown to love his role as Captain of the Vanguard. It gave him a purpose he’d always lacked and it made Aloy proud. It gave him a reason to have a clear head. It gave him a reason to do something with his life. 

In the month that Aloy had been gone, searching for her own answers, he’d cleaned up his life. He stopped going to the tavern every night. He’d cleaned up his apartment. He’d stuck close to Avad’s side, ensuring his King knew he was there for him. He’d made a home for Aloy. 

Now, it seemed most of that was a waste of time. He’d known he was doing it for her, for Ersa. Aloy had told him not to, but he couldn’t help but want to make her proud. He wanted to be the type of person that when Aloy thought of him, she could say, “Yes. That’s my man. Isn’t he amazing?” He wanted her to return to a changed man, to never worry that he would repeat his past mistakes. 

And now, here he was, sitting in the tavern with a mug of Scrappersap. He had yet to bring the numbing liquid to his lips, but he held onto it like a lifeline. He was suddenly reminded of the last time he had done this. It was the night his life was turned on its heel. The night he made the decision that ruined everything he had with her. He still didn’t know what had happened that night that led the Oseram woman to his bedchamber, but he knew himself well enough to know that he thought everything with Aloy was already over. He’d made stupid, irrational decisions. He’d turned her away. He didn’t know why he thought Aloy would wait for him to clean his act up. He knew she had much larger things looming in her mind. And to be honest, he was still surprised that after all she had been through, was still going through, that she had carved out time for him. 

He brought the mug to his lips, taking the barest taste of the bitter, sharp alcohol. After months of nothing of the sort, the liquor burned his tongue, his throat. The bitter taste mirrored his thoughts but didn’t bring him any comfort. In fact, just one taste had him falling deeper into the pit of his self-loathing. Why had he thought to find any answers this way? Habit? 

He set the mug down and pushed it away. He didn’t want to be numb anymore. He wanted to be happy. Aloy had given him that. He had never been happier than when he was with her. She had a way of making him feel like he was worthy of every moment she spent with him. 

As he thought back on their time together a new realization hit him. It was unwelcome at this moment, because he wanted to push it aside and never acknowledge it again. But with her wanting to be with both of them, he no longer had that option. She had been in love with Avad while she was with him. He knew it. Avad knew it. Yet, never once had he felt like she didn’t love him. Never once did she say anything that would make him think her feelings for him weren’t genuine. 

When she was with him, she loved him fully. There was no denying it. He could see it in the way her smile would light up her face in his presence. He could see it in the way she looked at him, the way her hands sought his. He could feel it in her gentle touch, the way she ran her fingers through his beard, the way she stroked his arm when they were doing nothing more than laying on the couch and talking. He knew it when she would stay close to him, even if he was falling asleep; she just wanted to be near him. 

So would anything really change if he said yes to this new arrangement? Would he lose anything by giving her what she wanted? He knew it would mean that her time would be divided when she returned to Meridian but wasn’t it always? And she usually ended up at the palace if he left her alone for too long now. And he always knew it was Avad she was going to see. 

But thoughts still crept in, how would he handle seeing them together? How would he react if she kissed Avad in front of him? What if he had to watch them walk hand-in-hand through the streets of Meridian? 

He dropped a few shards on the table and left the Scrappersap where it was. He would find no answers here. He needed to talk to Aloy. He needed to talk to Avad. 

 

Music and laughter drifted down from the balcony as Erend climbed the stairs. 

“Huntress, I won’t have any toes at my own party if you don’t stop stepping on them.” Itamen laughed and Erend heard other’s joining him.

“I’ll take over, brother. She obviously does better when it’s someone close to her size,” Avad said. 

Erend couldn’t help but laugh at that. He was pretty sure Aloy was closer to Itamen’s size than Avad’s. He towered over her by almost a foot and Aloy was very small in build, even though she was muscular. Hell, even Vanasha and possibly even Nassadi were bigger than Aloy. 

“You did so well with the other dance, Little Huntress. This one is far simpler.” Vanasha laughed, joined by another feminine lilt. 

“Hey, I’m trying here. I finally get the first one down and you give me a new one to memorize. If it’s about letting your body move naturally, shouldn’t it look more like this?” 

Erend crested the staircase just in time to see Aloy lift her arms over her head and undulate her hips in a circular motion as she twirled in a circle. The sight of her moving in such a way caused his breath to hitch in his throat. Her hands then dropped to graze her waist and she tossed her hair, letting her body finish the motion. 

Avad cleared his throat, causing Erend to take his eyes off of Aloy. It seemed that he was having an equal response to the movement of her body. And they weren’t alone, Vanasha and Nassadi stood wide-eyed on the other side of her. All were hypnotized, in a trance. It was as if she had cast a spell on everyone present.

Erend decided to make his move, “Only if you intend to have everyone at the party gawking at you the way everyone here is. Besides, people only dance like that at street dances. This party will be way too stuffy for all of that.”

Aloy smiled, she acted as if she would run over to him, but stopped and her smile faltered for a moment. She was still unsure about where they stood. He hated that his indecision made her hesitate. He hated that she had clearly been excited to see him and with a thought she was uncertain. So, without over thinking it, without saying anything, he opened his arms. 

When her chest hit his and her hair flew into his face, he knew he would never be able to give her up, no matter what she asked of him. He released her and she beamed at him. He took her hand and they made their way over to Avad. 

Avad again cleared his throat and nodded to Nassadi, dismissing her Itamen and Vanasha. 

When all had left, Erend spoke. “I guess we should all talk.”

Avad nodded and looked to Aloy. 

“You have made your decision,” Aloy asked with apprehension tightening her eyes. 

“I have. And Aloy I want you to be happy. If that means that you will be spending a little less time with me and a little more time with him,” he nodded to Avad, “I think I can handle that. Maybe. I don’t know how I will handle seeing you two in public and I can’t promise to always be happy about it, but I will try.”

Aloy twisted her fingers together anxiously, a gesture he was used to seeing from Avad. “There is one other person to consider.”

“Your traveling companion,” Avad asked.

Aloy nodded. 

“I think we have both known about him for some time. Though I don’t know who he is. You never bring him into the city with you, but I have seen you parting at the gates.” Avad looked to Erend for confirmation.

“Yes, I’ve known about him since the day Aloy came to Meridian. It… came up in conversation and then we ran into him on our way to Pitchcliff. Though I don’t really know who he is other than a name. Nil.” 

“And are both of you okay with the fact that when I am not in Meridian I will likely be with him?”

Avad looked to him as if awaiting his answer before stating his own. Erend took in a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was actually about to agree to this and wondered if maybe he had drunk all of the Scrappersap without realizing it. He’d have to be drunk or mad to want to share the woman he loved, right? But he did love her, and he knew she loved him. She wouldn’t have come to him with this if she didn’t. 

Finally, he nodded. He would at least try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone still with me?
> 
> Also, Shakira inspired Aloy's dance.
> 
> https://youtu.be/DUT5rEU6pqM


	38. A Carja Celebration, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy prepares for Itamen's party.

People had been coming in and out of Aloy’s room all morning. First was the seamstress, then some people came in to fit her for slippers, then a torrent of people escorted her to the baths, where there were others preparing for the night’s events. They ensured every inch of her body was scrubbed clean and that her hair was soft and luxuriously smooth. It was bad enough that when she awoke, there was a servant ready and waiting with Carja silks for her to wear that day. Aloy had picked up the dress and held it aloft for a moment before setting it aside and pulling on her leggings and silk top. The servant didn’t argue with her but insisted that she put on something clean. This caused her to frown at the servant for a moment but also to reconsider the dress. She didn’t want to present herself as the dirty Outcast girl. She knew the people she cared about didn’t see her that way, but she also knew Avad wanted her to feel welcome amongst the nobles in the palace. 

So, she put on the dress. It was the same blue silk as the shirt Avad had always given her to wear and it formed to her torso and flared at the waist, but it was nothing compared to the dress she would be wearing that evening, 

As lunchtime rolled around Aloy grew cranky. She didn’t like the constant company or the people talking about her as if she wasn’t there, especially since they were discussing how to make her prettier. She had grown fairly confident in her looks over the past few months and didn’t see the tiny ‘flaws’ they were referring to. She liked her freckles. She liked her muscles. She liked the braids and beads in her hair. But they kept saying things like, “Let’s accentuate this to hide this. Let’s cover this. Oh, her hair will be so beautiful without this.” The Carja servants seemed to want to strip her of everything Nora. 

Finally, she held her hands up and stopped the commotion that had befallen her room. “Get out! I am hungry and I want to be alone.” She was tired, frustrated and her stomach also decided to protest. It grumbled loud enough that one of the servants smirked but tried to hide it.

She let out another growl of frustration. The people weren’t leaving. “Are you all deaf? I said, get out.” 

The servants all looked at each other. Some whispered and others cast their eyes to the floor.

“Fine. If you won’t leave, I will.” Aloy hiked up the skirt of the dress and made for the door.

“My lady, wait.” One of the servants reached out to grab her arm but Aloy pulled away before her hand could make contact.

“I’ve had enough of people touching me today. Drop the hand or lose it.” She knew she was growing irrationally angry, but her nerves were overworked and if she had to spend one more moment with these people treating her the way they were, she would scream.

She stormed out of the room and made her way to one of the palaces many landings. Out here she could at least breathe. The air in her room had grown stifling. Not due to the Carja heat, but the presence of so many bodies. She rested her arms on the balustrade and leaned over. She knew that if she were in her leathers the drop would be an easy way out, but in a silk dress, it was nearly impossible. She ran her fingers through her hair and had to admit, whatever they had done to it made it smooth as the silk she wore. But it wasn’t her, it all felt wrong.

Aloy let out another growl of frustration as her stomach rolled. She was sure at any moment Avad would be sending her a tray of food, but she was growing too impatient to wait. Checking the hall to ensure the coast was clear of any lingering servants, she peeked around the edge of the balcony. Lifting her skirt, she made a quick dash down the hall and out to Avad’s private quarters. She could hear much of the same commotion coming from his bedchamber, but that was not her goal. She needed to find Marad, or Erend, someone who could get her something to eat.

Just as she made it to the end of the hall, Avad’s door opened. She turned the corner quickly and peaked around to see who had exited the chamber. To her great relief, it was Marad.

“Marad,” She called.

He looked up but didn’t see her.

She waved him over, not wanting to come out of her cover in case someone else came out the door.

“Aloy? What are you doing?” He wore the knowing smirk that always seemed plastered to his face when he saw her doing something inappropriate. 

“Hiding, obviously.” She knew her words came out snarky. She groaned.This was who she had been looking for, she shouldn’t be so rude. “I can’t get those people to leave my room and I’m hungry. Where are the kitchens?”

Marad laughed. “Aloy, why didn’t you ask one of the girls to fetch you some food?”

“Because they were annoying me. Now, where are the kitchens?”

“I will send someone to fetch lunch. Wait out on the balcony. I will send his Luminance to join you shortly.” Again, Marad laughed as he turned to go back into Avad’s bedchamber. 

The food arrived before Avad did and Aloy wasted no time digging into the tray that was set before her. She recognized the ham from before and there was another meat that she determined was turkey. Cheeses dotted the tray, but she had never seen half of them and there were new fruits to choose from as well. She bit into an orange, crescent-shaped slice of one of the fruits. It was sweet and so juicy that it dribbled down her chin. She attempted to catch the juice with her fingers but wasn’t wholly successful and some landed on her chest. She took one of the linen napkins from the table and began dabbing her skin and wiping her fingers. 

Footsteps came from down the hall and Aloy stood. She crossed her arms over her chest awaiting Avad’s arrival. He emerged from the hallway with Marad at his side, seeming deep in conversation. She tapped her foot, impatience getting the better of her, and that brought Avad’s eyes to her. 

“Praise the Sun,” Avad sighed. His eyes roamed over her body and his mouth hung slightly open. Marad was still speaking to him, but he didn’t seem to be hearing a word the man was saying. 

“Avad,” Marad yelled in his ear, snapping his fingers in the King’s face.

He blinked rapidly and muttered something Aloy couldn’t hear. Whatever it was had Marad turning on his heel in a huff. 

“Why are there so many people in my room? And why am I wearing this dress? Is it Carja custom to mock those you take as guests?” Aloy glared at Avad as he made his way up the few stairs to her. 

“What do you mean? The servants are here to assist you in getting ready for tonight.” 

“I haven’t had a single moment to breathe since those manic beasts entered my room this morning. It has been one person after another. My lady this and Mistress that. I had to stand on a pedestal as some woman took my measurements for half an hour. What is the big deal? Can’t I just wear my armor?” 

Avad tried to take Aloy’s hands in his, but she was too worked up and didn’t want his placating gestures. She turned her back to him and picked up another piece of the juicy fruit. The first piece had only served to remind her just how hungry she was. 

“Aloy, you look amazing. I can’t imagine they have anything else to do today. I can send them away.” His voice was soft, soothing. Aloy knew he was using it as a means to calm her overworked nerves and at the moment it just made her angrier. 

“They aren’t finished. They want to cover my freckles and my muscles. They already stripped the beads and braids from my hair. You should see the dress they want to put me in. All I can think about is how hot it is going to be, how… restricting.” She took a bite out of the fruit, this time catching the running juices on the linen napkin still in her hand. 

“I will talk to them. We can make sure you are as comfortable as possible.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek.

Aloy turned to face him then. “Avad this is stupid. Why can’t I just…” She didn’t get a chance to finish her question.

Avad’s fingers slid into her hair and he pulled her lips to his. The kiss was searing, possessive. His lips were so soft, and his tongue lapped her bottom lip. She opened to him, and he dipped his tongue deeper to taste her. The fruit fell from her hand, forgotten. Her fingers traced his waist before pulling his body closer. His thumbs traced the outline of her jaw, sending tiny bolts of electricity through her, burning a path over her overworked nerves and causing her to relax into him. 

He pulled away with a smile. “I’ve wanted to do that for some time.”

Aloy let out a breathless giggle. “That’s cheating. I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

“Well, we simply can’t have that. Now, shall we eat?” Avad gestured to the buffet set out for them. 

They sat and talked through the course of the meal. Avad did his best to distract her from the coming party, asking her about anything but and keeping her attention on him. He again told her about the food they were consuming, telling her the fruit she loved so much was a melon, apparently, there were different varieties and this one was a cantaloupe. He told her he enjoyed the way it made her lips taste and Aloy blushed. She hadn’t thought about that when he’d kissed her. She hadn’t had time to wipe the juice from her face. 

With their meal finished, he escorted her back to her room. She had taken his hand about halfway down the hall and Avad knew it was because she was growing anxious about having to face the parade of people still coming in and out of her bedchamber. 

When the doors opened many of the faces she met showed relief until they saw the man she pulled through the door with her. At the sight of their King, many bowed their heads and turned away. Aloy wished she’d had this power earlier. To be able to make these people stop their ministrations. But then Avad spoke.

“My top priority this evening is ensuring that Aloy is comfortable.” He picked up the dress the seamstress was still working on. “This will not do. The Huntress prefers her armor. If you can not make something that looks and feels similar, maybe I should find another seamstress to dress Aloy.” His words were harsh, but his voice remained soft, steady. He then walked over to the women who had their cosmetic products spread out on the small vanity table.

“See if you can find some gold beads for her hair. And keep her braids; they are symbolic of her tribe. There is no reason for you to strip that from her. This is a Carja party but not everyone there will be Carja. Representation is important if we wish to show that we are accepting of all tribes.” The women nodded, their eyes still on the ground. 

Aloy couldn’t help but smile. These women hadn’t listened to a word she’d said, but with a few words from Avad, they were already beginning to reassess what they were doing. The seamstress was pulling the seams of the dress, cutting away the excess fabric, but leaving the airy skirt. She then walked over and picked up Aloy’s discarded armor. 

With Avad overseeing, the room fell into quiet contemplation. They were no longer fussing over her. People were still coming and going, but the chaos had died. They spoke softly about incorporating leather into her dress and mimicking the style of her vest. The only question that was asked of her was if she wished to wear Carja eye makeup. She didn’t know what to say. She had only seen the nobility wearing the eye makeup. She looked to Avad. 

“She is a true Huntress. She deserves to wear the symbol that denotes that, don’t you think?” Avad smiled at the young woman, easing her nerves at having to ask. She nodded and returned to her work, preparing the makeup that would be applied to her face.

 

It took hours for the women in her room to gather all of the things they needed to make Aloy as presentable as they could, but Avad stayed by her side until everything was ready for her. 

“I will have a tray sent up. Eat something, have a glass or two of wine and try not to think about anything but dancing with me tonight. When you come into the hall, there will be people who will want to greet you. Just smile and nod and keep moving until you find either me or Erend. We will do our best to keep the hoards away from you. And if you need anything else, just send someone to fetch me. I will be right down the hall.” He lifted her knuckles to his lips, placing a kiss on each one. 

After Avad had left, the women swarmed her again, but this time they didn’t chatter over her or touch her unnecessarily. She found she didn’t mind as much as long as they remained quiet. The women helped her into her dress, and Aloy couldn’t believe what she was seeing in the mirror. The dress was made of the same leather as her Carja armor and fit her perfectly. It was trimmed a turquoise stiff, rope-like material that spread to silk caps at her shoulders. But most surprisingly, they had listened to her about it mimicking her armor. The back was completely open, except for the band of leather that went around her breasts. The ropes crossed her back, giving the illusion of cutouts over the small of her back and her sides. The front of the dress crossed over her body, in the same way, this time leaving her abs exposed but joining the flowy skirt which was trimmed in the same turquoise fabric. 

As Aloy shifted, trying to see all of the dress, she realized one side of the skirt was slit nearly to her hip. It gave her the movement that had been hampered by the other dress. It seemed Avad’s words were all it took for the women to take all of her requests seriously. She sent him a mental thank you, telling herself she’d have to make it up to him later. 

Next, she sat on the vanity’s stool as one woman applied makeup to her face and another began working on her hair. She couldn’t see what either woman was doing and she only hoped she would still look like herself when they finished. Of course, she’d never even attempted to apply Nora face paint. It denoted familial affiliation and since she was an Outcast, she didn’t see the point.

They finished and handed Aloy a small looking glass and turned her away from the vanity mirror. She was confused by this. There was a large mirror behind her. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just turn her toward that one? 

They must have seen the confusion on her face because they held the mirror up just right, pointing it at the mirror behind her. “So you can see what we did with your hair, My Lady.”

“Oh,” Aloy stated quietly as she adjusted the mirror a bit more. Most of her hair was piled into a loose bun, but some of it hung in loose ringlets over one shoulder. There were jeweled beads at intricate intervals and small braids were woven into swirls around her head. It was the first time Aloy had ever looked at her hair and thought it was truly pretty. 

The women then turned her to face the large mirror and Aloy saw the full effect of their work. When she lifted a hand to her face one of the women gently grabbed her hand and placed it back on her lap. “Do not touch your face, Mistress. The makeup will smear.”

She nodded and turned back to the mirror. She almost couldn’t believe that the woman doing her makeup had left her freckles alone. She looked like herself, but different. She couldn’t say she hated it, but it was new and she didn’t know how she felt about her reflection feeling like something new.

It was now time to join the party. She was all made up for the Carja nobility. She quickly remembered that Avad had sent food and wine to her room and made her way to the small table. She downed the glass of wine and refilled the goblet to drink another. When those were gone, she turned back to the women and let them escort her to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dress is one of Dany's from GOT.
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?q=dany+got+cutout+dress&safe=off&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS769US769&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=no5nmn1ww9BGtM%253A%252CGceiGBVM_0FQ0M%252C_&usg=__Mq6luENePj8PGl0gRI4PC04Iq1s%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwilqq7X5fvZAhVn2oMKHZOGDc8Q9QEILTAB#imgrc=no5nmn1ww9BGtM:


	39. A Carja Celebration, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avad escorts Aloy to Itamen's party.

“This is insane, you know that, right?” Erend had his arms crossed over this chest and his eyes scanning the ever-growing crowd. 

Avad gave him a sideways glance but tried to remain stoic as each new face came through the doors. He had told Marad to invite everyone and it seemed that more than a few of well known Shadow Carja had taken him up on his hospitality. He only hoped that they were there because of his gracious extent of welcome and not for other nefarious reasons. But he had the entirety of the Vanguard present tonight. If anyone tried to pull a coup, they would face the wrath of the Oseram and the Carja.

He greeted many nobles, all eager to have some face-time with their King. Of course, many of them wished to discuss business or show off their daughters, but Avad had no interest in any of it. All he wanted tonight was to finally have Aloy in his arms. He still couldn’t believe his luck. When he had mentioned to Aloy that multiple lovers were not such a strange idea among the Carja, he never thought she would actually entertain the idea, or that Erend would follow suit. Granted, Erend’s acceptance of the situation was not exactly solid. Avad couldn’t fault him for it. After all, the Oseram tended to look at women as property. Even though he knew Erend didn’t think that way, there had to be a piece of him that felt Aloy was his, that she belonged to him. 

A commotion at the doors captured both of their attention. People were beginning to clog the entryway and voices drifted to them speaking in happy tones and much praise. Avad looked around, spotting Itamen and Nassadi and decided there was only one other person who could create so much commotion amongst the nobles. 

He caught his first glimpse of her flame-red hair and his heart leapt into his throat. He had no idea why he was suddenly so nervous. He’d spent plenty of time in her presence. It wasn’t like this was something new. Yet, he didn’t want to seem overeager, especially in front of Erend. They hadn’t said any more about their arrangement since he left the palace the other day. 

He decided to let Aloy come to him. That would be better for both of them. 

“Praise the Sun,” Avad said breathlessly.

“Fire and spit,” Erend spoke at the same time.

Both of them had seen Aloy. She had her hair tied up and braided off of her neck. A few tendrils fell over her shoulders. And her dress. The seamstress had done exactly as he’d said and was able to create something that mimicked her armor. The dress was still floor length but there were cutouts on the sides and over her belly, exposing a significant amount of skin. The dress mimicked the color of her armor, as well. He had to smile at that. She had unintentionally worn colors to match him. It was a silly thing the Carja nobles did when they went to a party with their partners. 

Seeing her had his feet moving of their own accord, but Erend’s hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to face the Oseram. 

“We may have a small problem. I told you opening this party up to everyone would leave you exposed to the Shadow Carja.” Erend nodded to the man who had caught his attention. 

“By the Sun. What is he doing here? I thought he only went where prey was plentiful.” He knew he was inviting trouble by opening up this party to everyone, but he hadn’t thought one of his father’s generals would show up, let alone this particular one.

“Shit!” Erend had gripped his arm tighter. “It seems he believes there is prey here tonight.”

Avad followed the course of Erend’s eyes to find the butcher moving through the crowd, his sights set on Aloy. Avad’s heart leapt into his throat for an all-new reason. There was no way he could get to her before the other Carja closed in. People and tables blocked his path and Erend was much slower than him. But Erend was already signaling the Vanguard around the room. They could cut off his path to Aloy. But the Carja realized immediately what was happening and quickened his pace to her.

Not wanting to cause a scene, but wanting desperately to save Aloy from what may befall her, he moved closer. He hoped if he could get her attention, warn her he…

The Carja gripped Aloy’s hand and she nearly jumped out of her skin. It sent Avad’s heart racing. Would the Carja really attempt to pull her from the party under the ruse of asking her to dance? But then, Aloy turned to the man and… smiled. She knew who’s hand held hers. 

Avad heard Erend mutter something under his breath, but couldn’t make out the words. He turned to him then, only to find him massaging the bridge of his nose as if he’d suddenly developed a headache. And then a burst of laughter shot out of his mouth. Avad found nothing about this situation funny and was about to shake the Oseram back into the sane world when he dropped his hand and looked at him. 

“Nil,” Erend said by way of explanation. 

Avad didn’t understand. What was nil? “Erend, I think you may need to sit down.”

“When Aloy first came to Meridian she told me about the man she had been traveling with. She told me he was a crazy Carja.” Erend nodded to where the pair now stood. 

Realization hit him like a Behemoth crashing into his gut. This was her traveling companion. The butcher of the Cut and the Sacred Lands. Did she know? Did she have any clue who it was she had been traveling with, sleeping with?

“She knows,” Erend said as if reading his thoughts. 

Avad couldn’t believe it. If she knew half of the things he knew about, Nil was it now, she would run miles in the opposite direction. Wouldn’t she? 

“When we met him in the Sundom, she said she wanted to ensure he knew she was there. She didn’t want an ‘incident’. I realize now, she knew we had a past and was protecting me.” He sighed and shook his head.

“But why him,” Avad growled.

“Isn’t it obvious?” 

When Avad didn’t respond to that Erend continued. “Outcasts forced into a world and a war they didn’t ask for. He may understand her better than either of us ever will.”

“How can you be so calm about this? He is insane and he has a hold on Aloy.”

“Because I know what he’s done for her. He’s taken care of her multiple times. He’s guided her through the Sundom. He’s always there to help her when she needs it. Am I thrilled about this? No. But I have wanted to meet the man who could help her when I can’t. And she loves him, Avad. The same as she loves us. If we act rashly, she will not be happy. I’ve done everything I can to ensure she stays happy.” Erend gave him a pointed look. 

So, he still wasn’t happy with their arrangement but he was willing to accept it if it made her happy. And if Avad was honest with himself, he wanted the same. He just didn’t know how he was going to accept that the other part of their tense foursome was a man who had cut down so many innocent people. He was the opposite of everything Avad stood for. 

 

Aloy entered the hall. It was filled with people and she was afraid her nerves were going to get the better of her. Mother’s Heart had been a test of her patience with others, but this superseded that tenfold. Bodies pressed together and the noise level was atrocious. She had to fight the urge to plug her ears. 

When the first person approached her, she was ready to bolt out the door, but they took her hand. It wasn’t an intimate gesture, just something the Carja were fond of. She had forgotten that this would be something that would happen. She had grown used to Avad touching her and even welcomed it, but this was different. She didn’t know these people. They had no right to be so forward. Then she reminded herself of Avad’s first touch. The moment when he’d placed his hand on the small of her back as if they were lovers. At least no one here seemed to think that was appropriate. 

As she was passed from person to person, barely absorbing anything spoken to her, she grew more and more anxious. Her eyes roamed the crowd looking for a familiar face, someone to save her from the onslaught of words and handshakes. But everywhere she turned her vision was blocked by more and more bodies converging on her to greet ‘The Savior of Meridian and Prince Itamen’. She tried to smile and nod but was afraid her smile was quickly turning into a grimace and he knew her touches were growing too quick to be polite. 

A hand slid into her's from behind and she jumped as the hand tugged her to the side. She turned to face her newest assailant only to find it was someone she hadn’t even expected to be here. 

“Nil.” She smiled. She was so relieved to see a familiar face. “What are you doing here?”

“Rumors spread like blood, remember? I waited for you and when you didn’t show, decided to head into the marketplace. Everyone was talking about the party and who would be attending.” 

She couldn’t tell if he was disappointed that she didn’t show or what he was feeling, really. “I’m sorry. I would have sent word to you but I didn’t know if you would look kindly on someone other than me tracking you down.” She nudged his ribs. 

He shrugged. 

“I was supposed to find Avad when I got here, but there are so many people and I can’t see past them to even look.”

“Not a problem.” He tugged on her arm and pulled her through the crowd. 

Aloy was happy to realize that with Nil on her arm, most people were avoiding her. Well, at least there would be one benefit of having him here tonight. He pushed his way through the crowd headed to some point she couldn’t see but hoped it was to the Sun-King. She wouldn’t put it past him to pull her away into some secluded corner or to drag her away from the party altogether. 

Suddenly, Nil stopped and Aloy almost crashed into him.

“Your Radiance, I come bearing gifts.” He pulled Aloy forward. 

Finally, she thought for a moment and then took in the look on Avad and Erend’s faces. They were glaring at Nil. She sighed. She should have seen this coming. She knew they shared a dark past, but her relief at being away from the others in attendance had overridden her knowledge that this too would be unpleasant. 

“I take it you have figured out who Nil is,” she asked, looking to both of them. 

They turned their twin glares on her. “Do you know who he is,” asked Avad. 

“I do.” She stood a little taller and made a show of holding his hand and taking his arm in her other hand. She knew he didn’t need protecting, but she didn’t want them coming down on him because of her. 

Avad rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was frustrated, that much was clear, but he sighed and pulled himself together. “Well, I believe we agreed I would be your escort for this evening or does Nil’s presence change that?”

“Of course not.” She released Nil’s hand but not before pulling him down to place a kiss on his cheek. She knew it was a bad idea to be so assertive at this moment, but this had been Avad’s idea. The multiple lovers, the party, all of it was his doing. If he couldn’t handle this small display how was he supposed to handle the rest of their relationship? 

To Avad’s credit, he didn’t even flinch but simply held his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her to the dance floor. 

 

Nil watched as his Huntress walked away in the hands of the Sun-King. A wave of possessiveness washed over him for a moment and then it was gone. She had openly chosen him in front of the other two men in her life. He had to take some pride in that. Her Vanguard Captain and her King, but it was him who she decided to try and protect. The Killer. The deranged lunatic. So, instead of being angry, he chose to take his place next to Erend. 

“I want to say something.” Erend crossed his arms over his chest and turned to face Nil. 

He looked at the man, thinking that now Aloy was out of earshot, he would have to hear why he didn’t belong at her side. 

“Thank you. You’re always there when she needs someone. Avad and I can’t travel with her and we worry. But I worry less knowing she has someone to look out for her. I just wanted you to know that.” Erend coughed as if the words hurt coming out. 

Nil was taken aback. Aloy had told him that Erend and Avad were both okay with him being in her life, but he hadn’t expected to be thanked. He didn’t like it. Of everything he imagined the Oseram saying to him, this wasn’t one of them. He liked knowing what to expect. This unsettled his idea of his presence here. He shifted on his feet, casting glances at the Oseram every few moments. 

Then he found Aloy on the dance floor. She was smiling. An all-new discomfort settled in his belly. He still didn’t understand his feelings where she was concerned. She made him feel. He hadn’t felt anything for so long. He didn’t remember what it was like to love and even the thought of the word made him anxious. 

As she settled into Avad’s arms, he also noticed the way she looked at him. She didn’t look at him like that. Her smile was so warm and mimicked on Avad’s face. “Does she look at you like that?” He didn’t know what made him ask.

“What?” Erend turned to him with a quizzical look.

“Aloy. Does she look at you like that?” He nodded to the couple on the dance floor. 

Erend turned to watch them. It took him a few moments to answer. “I guess she does, sometimes. I try not to think about it too much. She loves all of us equally. That’s what she tells us, and that’s what I choose to believe. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love us differently.”

“And how does she love you?” Nil couldn’t stop the questions from pouring out of his mouth. He’d always been curious, and more so about things he didn’t understand. Of course, there was little in his world that he didn’t understand. But Aloy, she was a mystery to him. He couldn’t explain her or the desires that rose around her. 

“Look, if you are trying to rile me up or get the sordid details of our sex life…”

“Woah. Calm down. I’m just trying to understand all of this. I’ve never… cared about someone. I want to know…” What? What did he want to know? “If I am doing it right.”

Erend turned to examine the Carja. He thought that Nil was trying to antagonize him. Nil gave him a blank stare.

“Maybe you and Aloy are more alike than I thought.” Erend shook his head and laughed. 

Nil shrugged. Erend didn’t answer his question but he was happy with the response. 

 

“Thank you for coming tonight. I know you had your own plans, but I am happy you stayed. We haven’t had much time together since we decided to be together, aside from dancing lessons.” Avad smiled as he twirled her.

“I am regretting it already,” she said with a smirk.

Avad’s smile grew. He knew she was joking. Though his response to Nil was less than perfect, he did take it in stride as he did all things. She tried not to focus on the fact that they had left Nil and Erend alone. She still couldn’t believe that Nil had come into Meridian. They had many discussions about him never returning to the city, not getting involved in the politics of it all. But he had been willing to accompany her to Sunfall. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so surprised. 

Now that she had him in her arms, dancing, and spinning, she could admire just how beautiful he was tonight. He had left his crown in his chambers and while he wore more adornments than usual, he seemed more casual. She didn’t think she’d ever told him how much she loved his long curls. “I like it when you leave your crown off. I love your hair.”

She could swear Avad blushed just a little. “I know. When you were falling asleep you ran your fingers through it. You mumbled something about wearing my crown less.”

How did he remember that? She didn’t even remember doing it or saying it. But that night she’d been pretty upset. She knew she should have been more present for their first time together, but she couldn’t help thinking about Erend in someone else’s arms. It wasn’t until the next morning she had been herself and enjoyed the tenderness Avad had offered and then, just as abruptly taken away. But it seemed that the night stuck with him just as much as the next morning had for her. 

 

They spent the next few hours dancing and mingling. Aloy checked in with Erend and Nil a few times throughout the night, but not enough that Avad would miss her presence. She wanted him to know that tonight was his. But after the music died down and it became more talk and less distraction, Aloy grew more and more uncomfortable. She excused herself, letting Avad know she would be back soon. 

She made her way to the balcony. It was guarded, but they let her slip through. They knew she would be one of the only people Avad would allow to wander. The night was cool and crisp. The air fresh, not tainted with the smells of perfumes and powders. Her dress offered little protection from the chill of Carja night, but she didn’t mind. She had spent many nights camping in the Sundom in her Carja leathers. This was no different. 

She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply, trying not to think about the next leg of her mission, but knowing that answers to all she had wondered for so long were out there. Sunfall, she would have to return. She would have to walk into that den of vipers and pray once again that she made it through unnoticed. The chances of that were even slimmer than they had been before. She was sure someone, somewhere was aware of her involvement in returning Itamen to Meridian. 

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear anyone approach. Warm hands slid up her arms, bringing some warmth to them and generating even more. She shifted to turn, but whoever had her in their arms tucked their lips into the crease of her neck, forcing her to turn her head away from them. The hands slipped from her arms to caress the open diamonds at her waist. His fingers slid under the pieces connecting her top to her skirt, then over her hipbones. 

She had assumed the person who had joined her on the balcony was Avad, but now she wasn’t so sure. His touch had always been so tentative. He’d never done anything so bold before. Did Nil come out to join her?

There was one surefire way to tell. She lifted her hand to run her fingers through his hair. Avad’s was curly and Nil’s was straight. When her fingers met curls she smiled. This was new. 

Knowing he’d been found out, he slipped his arms around her and sure enough, there were the gold bands that signified his rank. 

“I want you, Aloy,” he whispered as he cupped her breasts. 

They weren’t exactly hidden here. The guards could surely see what was happening where they were. “Avad, you are going to miss your own party.”

“Itamen’s party and an excuse to get you to stay.” His tongue lapped at her skin, rolling over the ridge of her ear. 

She turned to face him then. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the desire in his eyes. She’d never seen such passion in the man before her. What had caused this? Could she do it again?

His mouth fell on hers with a fierce need. One of his hands gripped the back of her neck as the other found the slit in her skirt. Before she knew what was happening, his hand was on her mound, his fingers searching for her heat. When he hit her clit, she jumped and squealed, the sound muffled by his mouth on hers. 

“Avad, not here. Too many eyes.” 

He surprised her further when he picked her up and carried her to a darker part of the balcony. Here the banister connected to the wall and he pressed her up against it, grinding his hard cock into her thigh. Not wasting any time, he pulled down the band that held her breasts. The cold air had her nipples perking instantly and the heat of his mouth was a balm. He licked and sucked and squeezed her breasts. She had no idea that denying this man had built such a need within him. She wondered what would happen when she traveled. Would she come home to this? Goddess she hoped so. 

He lifted her skirt and slid between her legs. As his hips rocked into hers, she realized they had another problem. “Avad, the wall. It’s going to scratch my back.” She rememberd the marks she had after Nil had fucked her against the wall of the cabin. She didn’t think there would be a way for them to remain discreet if he went back to the party disheveled and she had tiny scratches on her skin. 

He took a step back and then spun her to the balcony. Then he lifted her skirt and pulled her panties to her knees. She heard his adorned sash hit the marble. He gripped her breasts from behind, rolling her nipples between his fingers before gently pushing on the small of her back. 

She complied, bending over for him. He slid into her with ease. She had been so wet. Her body responding to the change in him. The need, the raw passion of his desire. He fucked her, hard and unforgiving. She couldn’t contain the noises he was causing to escape her lips. His hand came up to cover her mouth, lifting her slightly and the angle had him sliding over that sweet spot inside negating his attempt to muffle her cries. 

She came hard, the intensity of it throwing her forward to grip the banister. Her legs shook and she felt as if Avad had somehow made her entire body vibrate. 

He lost his rhythm shortly after and Aloy wondered what he planned to do. He couldn’t release on her. He’d ruin her dress. And he couldn’t release into his hand or over the edge of the balcony. Though it would be funny to see an innocent bystander hit in the face with their King’s seed. So, she did the only thing she could think of and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her lips around his cock and he pumped into her. She had never tasted cum before and when he released with force, she nearly gagged. Not that it tasted bad, just foreign. But she was trying to prevent any embarrassment for them so she swallowed. 

When they were both dressed and looked somewhat similar to when they had left Avad took her hands. He raised them, holding them to his lips. “I love you, Aloy. I know that seemed less loving and more about sex, but I have had many sleepless nights thinking about you and what I wanted to do to you if I ever got you alone again. It got the best of me. I’m sorry.

Aloy laughed. This man was way too good for her. Here she was thinking she’d just had the best sex of her life and he was apologizing because he had given in to his desires. “I love you, too. But if I don’t get that from you again, then you can apologize.”

He smiled and kissed her knuckles, then they walked hand-in-hand back to the party.


	40. A Moment's Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of smut and fluff before we head to Sunfall.

Strong, warm arms wrapped themselves around her waist and pulled her close. Soft lips tickled her neck and soft moans sent shivers down her spine as his breath ghosted across her ear. She cracked her eyes open to see the pink of the sunrise coming in through the window. Today was the day she would return to Sunfall. The day she would be back on her path to finding answers. Answers to the secrets of Zero Dawn. Answers to where she came from. Yet, in this moment, she was content. She snuggled into the warm body behind her and felt his growing desire against the curve of her cheek. A smile crept onto her lips and she considered lying there, just like this, all day. It wouldn’t hurt to put off her trip a little while longer, would it? 

After their tryst on the balcony, they had mingled a little while longer but both grew tired quickly. It seemed between the dancing and the wonderful pounding he’d given her, they had exhausted themselves. It didn’t stop them from exploring each other's bodies once they made it to Avad’s bedchamber. She’d heard the term making-out before, but she’d never really participated in the act. It seemed she was missing out. Avad had kissed her until her lips felt bruised and stroked her skin until the tingles turned to a numbness settling over the places he frequented. He had sucked her nipples, but not in the way he had on the balcony. It was tender, more just to taste her than anything else. He had licked and kissed nearly every inch of her body, but neither one of them had enough energy to go any further. 

He rocked his hips into her, pressing his rigid cock firmly against her butt. Then he lifted her leg slightly. It seemed he was done asking permission to take her. But she didn’t mind. She liked this new side to Avad. It seemed he was every bit as passionate as Nil and she was ready to drown in it again. 

He slipped inside of her and Aloy’s breath hitched in her throat. She was still tender from his abuses the night before and the sensation was amplified to a point that she wondered if she should stop him. It didn’t hurt but it felt odd as if her body was intent on rejecting him. It didn’t take long for the sensation to fade and for her pussy to grow wet enough that the tightness was no longer a problem. 

He kept his strokes long and languid and his hand left her belly to squeeze her breast and tease her nipples. She turned her head and he kissed her gently as he continued his slow motion. Then his hand fell to her hip and his strokes became a little harder, a bit more fervent. He growled into her ear, causing her muscles to clench around him and the noises he made fed her desire. 

Soon, both of them were panting, both moaning as he again picked up speed. Aloy gripped the bed sheets as her orgasm crested and Avad gripped her tightly as he fought his own orgasm, trying to prolong her pleasure as long as he could. He could feel the build-up of his own and knew if he wasn’t careful he’d end up cumming inside of her. As her moans quieted, he pulled out and just in time as he spurted his seed up her back without any assistance. 

He considered grabbing something to clean off her back but then realized he didn’t care and pulled her back to wrap his body around hers. They could bathe later, he only wanted to hold her, to know she was there and she was his. It seemed like he had waited forever for them to be together and he would take every moment he could with her. He wouldn’t squander her presence in his life. He had let too much come between him and the person he loved before and he was unwilling to do it again.

They laid there; content to be in each other's warm embrace, neglecting all that may be awaiting them, until a knock sounded at the door.

“Huntress. Time to go.” It was Nil. She should have known that even though she was content to stay here and not worry about her next move, he would not be. 

“Give me a few minutes. I just woke up and I need a bath.”

Avad nuzzled her neck and she let out a loud giggle. She tried to stifle it, but the groan on the other side of the door told her she was unsuccessful. But his receding footsteps told her he would give her time to wake up and get ready. 

She nudged Avad gently in the ribs. “You did that on purpose.”

He shot her a surprised look. “Huntress, I am certain I have no idea what you are referring to.” His hand rose to cover his mouth in shock, but she knew it was a ruse to cover his growing smile. 

“I’m starting to think being with the three of you was a bad idea after-all.” She threw the covers off of her body and moved to get up but Avad pulled her back onto the bed. 

“Stay. Just a little while longer.” He placed sweet kisses on her shoulder blades, then her shoulders and neck, brushing her hair aside to continue his ministrations. 

She leaned back into his embrace. “I have answers to find and you a kingdom to run. I don’t think anyone will actually let us rest long enough to enjoy any more time than what we’ve already had just now. Besides, I need to find out what the Shadow Carja are planning so I can protect you.” 

“You know, a lesser man may be offended by that. You really know how to emasculate someone.” She could tell by his tone that he was using humor to cover his nerves at sending her off into the pit of vipers awaiting her at Sunfall. 

“My King, you worry too much.” She kissed his nose and lifted her body, pulling him along with her to the edge of the bed. 

He flung his legs over the side and stood with her, following her to the baths. They helped each other clean up, trading the soap to lather the other up. Avad washed Aloy’s hair and then they made their way back to the bedroom and dressed for the day. Aloy in her armor and Avad in his kingly garb. 

As she flung her bow over her shoulders, Avad pulled her in for another kiss. It didn’t matter to him that he had duties to attend to. His only concern at the moment was that he would be saying goodbye to her and he didn’t know when she would be back. 

“Avad, I need to go.”

Just then the bedroom door burst open. “Alright, Huntress. You’ve delayed long enough.” Nil stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He leaned against the doorframe as if daring her not to comply.

She scowled at him. She knew she was stalling and didn’t like that he was constantly reminding her of the fact. She only wished there was some way to get the answers she sought and stay here in Meridian with everyone she cared about. Her heart had finally found home and she wasn’t content to abandon it so quickly. 

She turned back to Avad. “I will miss you and I will be back as quickly as I can.” She lifted her hand to gently stroke his cheek and he took her hand in his, kissing her palm. 

“Cute. Let’s go,” Nil growled.

“Can you just hang on for one minute? I am…” Before she could even finish the sentence, she was being picked up and hauled over Nil’s muscular shoulder.

“What do you think you are doing? Put. Me. Down!” She rocked her body and tried to squirm, but he was too strong. 

“Thanks for the party,” Nil said to Avad as he bent to pick up Aloy’s pack. 

She had thought that she would hear some form of protest from the Sun-King, but no, he burst into a fit of laughter behind her. Aloy’s cheeks burned as she realized he found this quite amusing. 

Before Avad’s door could close, she yelled, “I hate you both right now!” 

 

“I’m going to stab you with this arrow if you don’t put me down right now,” Aloy growled through gritted teeth. He had actually carried her all the way through the palace, causing servants and nobles alike to turn and laugh at her predicament. No matter what she had done he wouldn’t put her down and she couldn’t get free of his grasp. She’d always known he was strong but this was ridiculous. 

“No, you won’t. The Huntress can’t bear to see the ones she loves injured.”

She could hear the amusement in his voice and she considered stabbing him out of spite. But he was right. She wouldn’t actually hurt him. However, it wouldn’t stop her from finding some way to make him let go. She’d tried tickling him. Apparently, he was not ticklish and all it had earned her was his fingers digging into her ribs. She wished he would have never found out she was ticklish. 

She huffed for what seemed like the millionth time and was about ready to give up when she thought of a way to embarrass him just as much as he was currently embarrassing her. She lifted her arm, trying to get just the right angle and then brought it down hard. She was rewarded with a satisfying “pop” as her hand connected with the tender flesh of Nil’s ass. 

He jumped and released her. “Sun and Shadow, Aloy!” He rubbed at the place her hand had landed.

“Oh, hush. You deserved it.” 

He glared at her for a moment before heading back the way they were headed. 

Was he pouting? Aloy couldn’t help but laugh. She never thought she would see the day that the Carja killer would actually do something so childish. Granted, he did just carry her through the palace on his shoulder. Was he softening to her, opening up more than he realized?

She figured she could let the man pout. He’d earned the right. She hadn’t held back with the slap. But she smiled the entire way to their first campsite.


	41. Deep Secrets of the Earth, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have arrived! Long time coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is a little short but I had to break it up into multiple chapters. Sylens talks too much.
> 
> But, hey, it also means the next update won't be far behind ;)

Sunfall loomed on the horizon. They stood atop a nearby mesa taking in the view of the hold. Nil wrapped his arm around Aloy’s shoulders and pulled her into his side. 

“This is it, Huntress. Let’s go get the information you need and get out. I dislike these scum almost as much as I despise the bandits.” His eyes hardened and his jaw flexed. 

Aloy covered the hand on her shoulder with one of her own. She knew he only hated these people because they had attempted to kill her every chance they got. He had said many times that he wanted no part in the political situation of the Shadow Carja, but something had changed in the last few weeks. He had pushed her to return, to find the answers she had been searching for, but he was no longer thrilled with the idea of her going in alone. She had tried to explain that it would be easier for her to slip in and out undetected but he was having none of it. 

Aloy took a deep breath and slipped from Nil’s grasp. “Here we go.” She tried to smile, tried to keep her tone light as she stepped to the ledge and jumped, twisting her body, she tossed her rope around the rappel point and Nil followed suit. 

 

Sylens was in her ear again, repeating his earlier instructions. She was to find a way into the palace undetected. This time she didn’t have the distraction of a large group of mercenaries but that didn’t seem to matter. Everyone was so focused on the problem of losing Itamen that no one paid her any mind. And just as Sylens had said, the Kestrels were too self-absorbed to notice her decent to the outside of the Sun-Ring. Nil followed closely on her heels. His drop to the ground making slightly more noise than she was comfortable with. If anyone were down here guarding the entrance, they would surely have heard that. 

“Aloy,” Sylens spoke again, “You will need to locate a vent. This will be your way in.”

“I see you’ve been here before.”

“Obviously. Now, it is very important that you hear what I am about to say. I’ve shown you the way in but this humble vent marks a point of no return. Before you descend to the depths here, you should be fully committed, equipped and focused. No distractions. I won’t tolerate whining.” 

Aloy eyed Nil for a moment before she responded. “You’ll tolerate what I give you, Sylens. I didn’t ask you along for the ride.”

She could hear the sigh that slipped from his lips just before the connection dropped. She knew taking Nil would be risky for him, her and all involved but she’d tried talking him out of it too many times to count and right now, she couldn’t waste any time. All it would take was one Kestrel looking down and they would be found out. She had to move quickly, quietly and efficiently. Arguing with Nil would only make her mission that much more difficult. Besides, she had wanted to show Nil the bunkers, the places she delved for secret knowledge. The last cauldron she’d taken him to was derelict, broken. It paled in comparison to the rest. While she had no need to impress him, she still wanted to be able to share this part of her life with someone other than a disembodied voice. 

After prying the wooden cover off of the vent, Aloy took Nil’s hand and led him through the tunnel. She grew too anxious to let go and he must have sensed it as he squeezed her hand in a show of support. It was funny, this connection they shared. When she had first encountered him on the road, she had to admit, she found him slightly terrifying. Maybe that was the appeal of their first time together. She had never had someone make her feel so instantly. Normally, she stood aloof, apart from others. But with him, in a matter of hours, she had felt intensely. She, to this day, couldn’t tell why she had acted the way she did. She was still aware that her actions weren’t normal around him. But, with all his macabre humor, even with his bloodlust, she had always felt safe in his presence. 

They made it to the end of the tunnel to find a large cavern. If Aloy had time to look around, she would have because this place was beautiful. An underground oasis. She wondered for a moment how something so beautiful could exist under something so ugly. Not that she hated the desert, but it seemed as if the Shadow Carja tainted everything they touched. Cities and settlements burned around them. Weapons of destruction followed them. Bodies lie in waste everywhere they chose to enter. This shouldn’t be theirs. 

Aloy rappelled off the ledge to the floor of the large cavern. This time Nil’s drop was muffled by the foliage under his feet. She turned to take his hand again, needing the reassurance it offered. 

Sylens' voice sounded in her ear. “I’ve spent a lifetime trying to uncover the secrets of this world. Where the machines came from. How the Old Ones achieved such marvels, only to fall to silence and death. A lifetime of failure, as year by year, decade after decade, I hit walls I could not break, doors I could never breach. Until a Nora Huntress marched out of the Savage East and… voila! For her, all of the deepest secrets of the Earth were laid bare. I suspect you will have an easier time with this door than I did years ago.”

She nodded, even though Sylens couldn’t see her, but she knew he’d see the movement as her focus shifted. A door, much like the one that guarded the entrance to the Sacred Mountain, stood before her. She took a deep steadying breath before approaching the platform. This was it, she thought to herself over and over. This place would give her the answers to Zero Dawn and possibly the answers to where she came from, who her mother was, who Elizabet Sobek was. 

A red light flashed and spread as the scanner on the door activated. “Hold for identiscan,” it said. 

Aloy stood there unmoving for a few moments as the red lights coursed over her body. She grew impatient, puffing out her breath, just as the voice identified her. But she had only a moment to feel a sense of relief and then the voice started speaking again. This time not saying anything she wanted to hear, in fact, it was quite the opposite.

“Malfunction. Malfunction,” the voice repeated over and over. 

“Are you kidding me,” she screamed at the door, but it was Sylens who responded. 

“You don’t hear me laughing.” His sarcastic tone set her teeth on edge.

“Shut up! There’s got to be a way…” Then it dawned on her. Maybe if she spoke to the voice, it would let her through.

“Hey! Elizabet Sobek here, requesting access,” she wasn’t sure why, but she tried to speak into the red light as if there were a person inside who would see her, recognize her. She knew it was a long shot but hadn’t most of what she’d already done be a long shot?

“Access request acknowledged. Root commands available. Do you wish to proceed?”

What a stupid question, Aloy thought to herself. “I do. Get me through this door.” She banged on the metal to emphasize her frustration. She hoped that whoever was controlling all of this may hear her or see her growing anger at being held up yet again.

The synthetic voice spoke again, “Analyzing. Primary access inoperable due to mechanical failure. Emergency venting procedure, likely to circumvent blockage. Do you wish to proceed?”

A blue screen appeared in front of her that she recognized as an authorization signature. She’s seen them a few times now and had even learned to use the function before trying to access the secrets in this place. These blockades had been on certain parts of her focus, and she’d quickly learned that a fingerprint was all that was needed to give her what she wanted. “Yes,” she said to the voice as she pressed her hand to the button. 

“Emergency venting authorized.”

Aloy was excited that she had found a workaround. That was until the door began to open and the air shifted. It seemed as if the door would suck her inside. She dodged out of the way. As she came to her feet, she realized whatever had just happened was already over. The pressure inside the room equalized, even though she could still feel a strong draft.

“I underestimated you. You’d think by now…” Sylens' voice fell off as she looked at the ceiling of the cavern.

The reason she could still feel a draft became apparent to her and to Sylens at nearly the same time. Air was being forced out of the vent above them, and both of them knew where those vents led. To the Sun Ring. And no doubt there would be people guarding the other entrances. She had slid into the only unknown vent in all of Sunfall. 

“Guess you can’t have everything,” she turned to Nil with a smirk on her face, attempting to lighten the mood. 

He was unimpressed with her attempt at humor, eyes shifting nervously from her to the ceiling and back again. He was well aware of what had just happened. 

Aloy had to give the man credit. While he may not know much about technology, or the Old Ones, he was far from stupid. He knew they had just alerted the entirety of the Shadow Carja to their presence here. Who else would be foolish enough to traverse the ancient ruins underneath the keep? Who else could have gained access?

Sylens seemed as equally unimpressed. “That will draw attention. We won’t have this place to ourselves for long now.”

It was Aloy’s turn to be unimpressed. She laughed, but it was bitter. “We? Last I checked, I was the one risking my life down here.” The last came out as a growl through gritted teeth. 

Nil placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him and could see the concern and confusion in his eyes. She often forgot that he could only hear one side of her conversations with Sylens. 

“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. We just need to be quick.” She placed her hand over his and stood on her tip-toes to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“Yes, fine. Now, will you please get moving? We have so much to learn and much less time than I had hoped.”

Aloy pulled away from Nil but again took his hand. It was comforting to have him here and far more helpful than Sylens incessant chatter in her ear. While, at times, she appreciated Sylens gentle pushes to persuade her to continue, she also needed someone to tell her it would be okay, that she could do this, without the sarcastic comments and without his condescending tone placing a damper on everything she did. She wasn’t a child. With the way she had been raised, she wasn’t even sure if the word child ever applied to her. She was never naïve, never brought up to think one way about the world, only to find out none of it was really true. Rost was a harsh teacher, a disciplined Brave. But Sylens didn’t know that. To him, she was just a tool and a tool he didn’t quite trust. 

As they stepping into the bunker, a different voice sounded above them, around them. “Welcome to Project Zero Dawn.”

She turned to Nil with a smile. “Zero Dawn. We found it.”


	42. Deep Secrets of the Earth, Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the amount of in-game regurgitation here, but we all know these things were very important to the story. I am trying to keep it as quick and painless as possible. Stick with me.

Her excitement was short lived as Sylens condescending voice came through her focus. “Are you really so surprised?”

Ugh. She was getting so tired of his attitude. Many times she wanted to rip the focus from her ear and be done with him. But for all his flaws, he had done nothing but help her. Even if that help had always put her in danger. She had to keep reminding herself that she would have done all of this without his assistance and probably only been half as successful. He wasn’t the one risking her life. She was. She rolled her head, stretching her neck, trying to alleviate some of the tension he was causing her. 

As she approached the entrance to the facility, another more masculine voice said, “Facility diagnostics detect multiple failures. Attempting repair.”

“What was this place,” Nil asked. 

Aloy shrugged slightly. “That’s what we are here to find out.”

Sylens' voice piped in again, but she was no longer listening to him. She’d found a data log and scanned it into her focus. She didn’t stop to listen to it. She’d learned a while ago that Sylens’ impatience to have this knowledge wouldn’t be appeased if she lingered anywhere too long. Plus, she liked sifting through the logs late at night or in the moments she found quiet places where she could be alone. 

She pressed her hand to the glowing lock on the door and it slid open. Nil followed closely behind and allowed her to move around the chamber freely. He seemed interested in what she was doing but didn’t hover. He knew how important this information was to her and he didn’t seem to want to hinder her in any way. 

As they proceeded, the synthetic male voice spoke again. “Please, take a seat and wait for your name to be called. A selection of beverages and snacks are available.”

She found that odd. It was the first time any of the voices had offered something like that. Most had been unhelpful. Now, this one was offering her food and drink? She searched the room, wondering where these things were stored and was surprised to find remnants of what the voice had said. Or at least she assumed the deteriorating containers could have held beverages and food. 

She searched through the containers, finding a few supplies that she tucked away for later use and a few health potions that she handed to Nil. She had prepared for whatever may come here, so she didn’t need them. There were also a few data logs that she quickly scanned before moving on. So far, there hadn’t been any real information found here. 

“Please proceed into viewing room one for an important message regarding the purpose of your visit.”

She placed her hand on the door’s lock and stepped through.

Another empty cavernous room like the first. Aloy looked around hoping to find something, but nothing happened and the door on the other side of the room glowed red, not green. She had thought she’d hit a dead end until Sylens and the synthetic voice spoke at once and she didn’t catch what either one said. 

Then a projection popped up in the middle of the room causing both Aloy and Nil to jump.

“Welcome to Project: Zero Dawn. I am General Herres, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of staff of the United States of America. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors. That Zero Dawn is a top-secret superweapons program. The technological miracle that will save us from the Faro Plague – if Operation Enduring Victory can hold off the robots long enough. The reason I am sure you’ve heard the rumors is because I am the one who spread them. And they are all lies. Zero Dawn is not a superweapons program and it will not save us. Nothing can save us and here’s why.” 

The hologram went on to explain how the Faro Plague began, but Aloy knew most of what was said already. She had gathered this information at Ted Faro’s offices. However, the hologram did fill in some of the gaps in her understanding of what happened when the glitch occurred. It seemed the machines had taken over much quicker than she had assumed, even after seeing the overlay of the spread of the plague on the global map inside The Grave Hoard. 

Then General Herres dropped a bomb that even Aloy didn’t see coming. Operation Enduring Victory was a suicide mission. No one knew it. They thought they were fighting to keep the robots at bay, but that was only a partial truth. The real truth was that they were a distraction, cannon fodder; to ensure the people working in these bunkers could continue to work out a solution to… to do what? 

Herres said that life on Earth would cease to exist, but she was standing there, Nil was standing there. There was no way that life ended. It made no sense. But the hologram also said that Elizabet Sobek could explain more. Maybe she was further in the facility. 

The lock on the door that had been red earlier now glowed green, so she proceeded to the next room. 

As the door opened, her focus lit up telling her there were others in this chamber. She sighed. She knew she wouldn’t be down here long before the Shadow Carja made their presence known. They must have used the vents to get in because they were dropping from the ceiling. She pulled her bow from her back, alerting Nil to the danger and he took up position beside her. She signaled for him to go right as she went left. “Be careful, they are heavily armed.”

Nil smiled and made his way around the corner. She heard the splash of Nil’s victim hitting the water as she loosed her own arrow. It was a head-shot and the accompanying splash alerted the Kestrel closest to them, but not in time for him to do anything about it. Her arrow hit home before he could raise his gun and Nil’s shot finished him off. There were only two left. Aloy snuck in behind hers taking him out quickly and quietly and she heard the gun-shot just as she heard the killing blow. She panicked for a moment until Nil strode up to her seemingly unharmed. She was sure that he’d been hit, but it seemed the Kestrel’s aim was off. It didn’t stop her hands from searching for a wound. 

Then, Nil turned slightly to show her a minor burn where the Firestriker had grazed him. She breathed a sigh of relief and reached into her pouch for her burn ointment. If that was all the damage he had taken, she could handle that. But it also made her realize that maybe bringing him had been a bad idea. If she lost him here, she didn’t know what she would do. 

Sylens chirped in her ear to get moving and she growled in response. He could deal with the fact that she was taking care of her lover for a moment. It wasn’t like these ruins were going anywhere. But she knew she needed to keep moving to stay ahead of the Shadow Carja. If these men had found their way into the ruins there was sure to be others. 

Sylens then asked about the data points she’d scanned. It was odd. He’d never cared about them before, so why was he asking now? She queued up the last few to find that they were mostly interviews with the people working on the project. When Sylens didn’t respond to her investigative efforts, she closed the others and moved forward. 

“ZD-0-2 data intact. Initiating playback.”

Another hologram popped up and Aloy was stunned. It was Elizabet Sobek. She didn’t know what to think as she stood there looking at the mirror image of herself, the voice that was so like hers. She turned to Nil finding his looking from the hologram to her. It wasn’t the first time he had seen Elizabet but it was the first time he had seen her with his own eyes and not through her focus. She was about to ask him what he was thinking when the hologram began speaking. 

“You’ve heard the bad news and it’s all true. The Faro Plague is devouring the biosphere. Life itself will cease to exist. But does that have to be the end? What if we could give life – a future? What if we could build a kind of seed, from which, on a dead planet, life could blossom anew?”

Aloy watched as another hologram formed behind Elizabet. A growing plant blooming in the middle of the destruction. 

“This is the aim of Project: Zero Dawn; to create a super-intelligent, fully automated, terraforming system – and bring life back from lifelessness. What would such a system require? At its core, it would need a true AI. Fully capable a making trillions of decisions necessary to reconstitute the biosphere. An immortal guardian, devoted to the re-flourishing of life. We call it Gaia. Mother Nature as an AI. But that’s just the core of the system.”

Aloy listened intently as Elizabet Sobek went on to explain how the system would work and it all fell together for her. The Cauldrons, built to facilitate the machines needed to regrow the Earth’s atmosphere and make it livable again. The ruins that once housed people intent on preserving anything they could to see this future she now lived in. Gaia, the system set in place to ensure that all of this would be possible. 

“So… the whole Earth was destroyed… and then… remade?” She wasn’t sure who she was asking if she was just saying the words to say them or hoping for some response from Sylens or Nil, but she was confused and enlightened. I made sense, in a way. She’d seen what the Cauldrons were capable of. She’d been inside ruins that were oddly preserved as if nothing had or could touch them. But, she still found herself with more questions than answers. 

“Yes. By a machine. A machine of creation…”

Aloy was surprised to hear the confusion in Sylens’ voice. He was always so sure, so ahead of her in thinking. But it seemed, even he hadn’t seen this coming. It felt could to be on level ground with him. To be learning alongside him instead of confirming what he already knew. 

“Elizabet did this. For life. For us.” For people she didn’t even know and would never get the chance to know. For a future she would never see and could only hope would exist. She risked everything in hopes that someday there would be something worth fighting for. 

Which, again, brought more questions. “Why Hades then? If it was a part of Gaia, how’d it end up in the wreckage of a Faro robot? And why does it want to kill me? And Apollo, the archive of knowledge, what happened to that?”

She didn’t know if she was asking Sylens, Nil or just voicing her questions to herself, but she thought the questions would never stop. She would find one answer to realize she still didn’t have all of the information, and rarely did it pertain to her role in all of this. The only thing she knew for sure was that her and Elizabet Sobek looked almost identical. 

“I’m just as confused as you are. Maybe the answers lie ahead.” She nodded, not really acknowledging Sylens or Nil. It seemed Nil was content to let her contemplate in silence, knowing his own knowledge of the situation wouldn’t help.

She placed her hand on the lock to the next room and was mulling over everything she had just heard when voices rang out from the other end of a short hallway.

“Intruder, get her!”

These Kestrels were again equipped with Firespitters. Aloy ducked down and slipped back through the door she’d just opened. She could hear the whir of the gun each time it charged up and began counting. From the time the noise started to the time it fired was just short of three seconds. Just barely enough time for her to line up a shot and if she stepped out of the doorway, she’d be directly in the line of fire. She peeked around the corner to get a look at the Kestrel’s positions.

“Whatever you do, don’t die now!” She could swear that was genuine concern in his voice. Whether it was for her or the information she had yet to find, she didn’t know. But it wouldn’t be the first time she’d heard it. During her escape from the Shadow Carja camp, he’d guided her through, ensuring she’d stay alive. She knew that now, even if at the time she had been irate. 

“Go. I’ll cover you,” whispered Nil.

“No! They are heavily armed. Just give me a minute to think.”

He nodded and waited.

Finally, she decided on a plan of action. She wouldn’t be able to aim her sling in time but if she could throw a bomb down the short hall she may be able to scatter them. Reaching into her pack, she grabbed the one on top. It was a firebomb. She waited until one of the Kestrels fired their gun and then stepped out, lobbing the bomb the short distance. 

When it hit, she was rewarded with a loud ‘boom’ and then the screams as one of the men caught fire. Then another ‘boom’ as the tank on his back exploded. She was about to step out and take a shot through the clearing smoke when Nil nudged her ribs. She was about to turn and smack him, thinking he was messing with her, but when she turned he gestured to a nearby hole in the wall. It would give her a chance to sneak up on the two Kestrels that remained and give her a clearer shot. She smiled and nodded as she ducked into the small doorway. 

They were able to quickly take out the two remaining men. Aloy approached the next doorway, only to find it wouldn’t open. With the other doors, she had only had to wait for whatever intended to greet them in the room. She supposed Kestrels didn’t count as they weren’t a part of the construct.

Aloy flipped on her focus to scan the room and see if there was something she was missing but saw no way to unlock the door. Usually, there was a station nearby that would let her put in a sequence to unlock the doors. She checked the nearby rooms and found only more data logs. She listened to a few of them trying to see if they would give her some clue as to how she should proceed. They gave her tidbits about the people who had once lived here, but not much else. 

“Aloy, down here,” She heard Nil shout. 

His raised voice set her teeth on edge. The Eclipse had found their way into these ruins and she didn’t want him getting caught by doing something as stupid as trying to get her attention. He had been quiet so far, and she was thankful for it. 

She set off in the direction of his voice and found a stairwell. Nil stood outside a room with the locking mechanism she was familiar with. She turned the focus back on and found the sequence. As she set the last wheel, she heard the hiss of a nearby door unlocking.

So, this wasn’t the lock for the door she needed, but maybe it could lead her to the lock for the one upstairs. When she turned around, she saw the same mechanism behind her, but all of the wheels were red and one was missing. 

“We need to find a power cell. Check down here and I will investigate the unlocked door over here.” She gestured to the other side of the room. 

“What is a power cell,” Nil asked.

“Oh,” she had forgotten that Nil had not seen any of these places, other than the ruins of a Cauldron. She pulled the one closest to her out of its slot. “This is a power cell.” She showed him the canister, that looked much like a can of Chillwater but slightly bigger with locking mechanisms on both ends. 

He nodded and began walking around the room. 

Aloy then made her way through the door and up a ladder to a small catwalk. A rope stretched the length of the room below and she wondered what was on the other side. After searching her side for a moment and only coming up with a few more materials to stuff into her pack, she decided the rope was her only other hope. As she crossed, Nil looked up to watch her. She wasn’t much of a show-off, but his eyes on her made her want to take the rope at a fast pace just to show she could. 

Nil let out a chuckle. He knew what she was doing. For all his skill he would never be as quick or as agile as his Huntress. She liked to remind him of it when she could. His bulk would have never allowed him to move like that across a tight wire. He knew he could still beat her in a climbing contest, but here, in this place, there was only her. She would be the master of this domain. 

Aloy’s voice sounded over him. “Ah-ha!” 

She made her way back to the ledge overlooking the room Nil was standing in. “Catch.” She dropped the power cell into his hands, but he had no idea how to connect it to the wheel, so he waited for her to jump down. 

He handed her the power cell. Aloy released the wheel and attached the power cell. When she inserted it, the once red lights flashed blue and the machine awaited her input. She flipped her focus back on and she examined the console next to the lights. He’d seen her do this before. He knew the focus was telling her what to do next. He watched as she followed the instructions given to her, but when she finished nothing happened. She turned back to the console with a confused look on her face. Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t tell what. 

She crossed her arms over her chest and examined each piece. He didn’t know what she was looking for, but he could tell she was growing anxious. She stood like that for a moment, eyes shifting from the console to the lock sequence. Then she jumped slightly and turned a bit. Nil knew from watching her that her focus had picked up on something. He’d seen her stand over devices, knowing they were speaking to her, but he’d never known what they told her unless she told him.

He was happy when he saw her smirk. Whatever the device had said was obviously a good thing. She approached the wheels, again adjusting them and her smirk turned to a full smile when the lights swirled and turned green.

“Onward,” She said to him as she made her way back to the staircase.


	43. Deep Secrets of the Earth, Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we come to the final chapter in this part of the story. We all have an idea of what is about to happen and I hope you like my small spin on events to come.

“The Eclipse,” Aloy growled through gritted teeth. 

“Avoid contact,” Sylens stated with a small note of panic in his usually calm voice. 

“Lines look good,” one of the masked men yelled to the others. 

Aloy watched as more men fell from the ceiling on ropes. This wasn’t good. And not at all what she wanted to see right now. Her target was in sight. She just knew it.

“Gaia, it’s on the second floor,” she whispered. 

“Can you reach it,” Sylens asked. 

She sighed. Could she reach it? The answer was, yes. But that would mean fighting through all of the Eclipse soldiers in the next room to get there. She flipped on her focus and peeked around the corner. She counted eight soldiers. Turning back to Nil, she signaled that there were two up top and six on the floor below. These were closer quarters than either of them were used to fighting in and she got an idea. Most of the Eclipse soldiers wore blaze tanks on their backs. She held up her hand telling Nil to wait a moment and then she ducked into the small space, staying low to avoid being seen. 

She laid a few blast wire traps knowing that a few of the men would be circling the perimeter and then carefully set another across the platform the rest of the men on the lower level were standing on. Then she ducked back to her position and waited. 

It didn’t take long before the first trap was tripped and as each soldier came to investigate they were taken out by the one before them as their blaze tanks exploded. Aloy flipped her focus back on and smiled as she realized her plan had worked. She’d evened out the battlefield. Now, only three remained and the two who had been on the upper levels had dropped down to help their comrades. 

Aloy gave Nil the signal to go and they quietly made their way to the remaining men. But just as they entered the room, more soldiers came sliding down the ropes. She and Nil took two of them out before they made it to the bottom of the rope. With the odds still in their favor, they separated. Nil now had two and Aloy had two. 

They took the remaining soldiers out with very little fuss, but then a mechanical voice started speaking and the doors on the opposite side slid open to reveal even more Eclipse. Nil was quick enough to duck behind a few crates on that side of the room before anyone noticed him. 

She took out the first couple with well-placed shots and Nil followed suit, but soon they were on her and she whipped out her spear. The first soldier didn’t make it within reach before he was falling to his knees. Nil had just given away his position. 

They fought hard, neither showing any mercy as more and more soldiers flooded the room. Aloy switched from her spear to her bow and back as necessary. Nil slit a few throats and fought like a man possessed. She’d never seen him this fierce before. She could only assume that he was feeling the constraints of fighting in such close quarters. She knew she was. With every blow, his face grew more intense. With every swipe of their blades, he let out a guttural growl. 

Soon it was over and both of them were breathing heavily. Nil had a new cut on his cheek and he had blood on his torso, but she couldn’t tell if it was his or theirs. An arrow had nicked her arm and her thigh, and she was sure she’d end up with a bruised rib after this, but all-in-all, they were okay. 

“Room’s clear. For a moment, anyway.” She searched the bodies for any dropped potions to refill her pack and Nil’s.

“Get moving,” Sylens growled in her ear. “You have to find Gaia.”

Of course, he wouldn’t care that she had been forced to use some of her potions and ointments. He had never had Rost’s constant reminders to keep her pack full, to make sure she always had as much as she could carry. One never knew when they would need healing herbs or tonics. She didn’t become a scavenger to steal people’s shards, though she could admit she took them. But it was out of necessity for her survival. She couldn’t count the times she’d had to limp back to the cabin because she had left unprepared and couldn’t find the herbs she needed when she needed them. She’d learned long ago that a fully stocked supply was her best weapon. 

When they had collected all they could carry, they made their way through the door the Eclipse had opened. 

“Hello. I’m Margo Shen, and this is Hephaestus. As the name might tip you off, this is going to be the subordinate function that Gaia will use to make lots and lots of robots. Her personal forge… except it’s not that simple. Um. So, like, you probably noticed that only about a third of you are robotics engineers. The rest, experts in machine cognition, virtual heuristics, that stuff. Well, that’s because we aren’t going to be the ones designing and building robots.”

Aloy located the hologram that had been speaking as she made her way through the chamber. It went on to say that Gaia would be the one designing and building the robots. All the scientists were doing here would be feeding into Gaia’s already extensive knowledge base, giving her more to work with, more to pull from. 

It was then that Aloy noticed the markings on the walls. These were symbols that had been carved into each of the Cauldrons she’d explored. She didn’t understand. All of the machines that had been built were Gaia’s doing? Did she run the Cauldrons? If they had been meant to repair the Earth and make it livable again, why were they attacking now?

After collecting a few more data logs, they made their way to the upper floor. Aloy could see into the room she wanted, but she couldn’t yet access it. There were multiple data logs and workstations. This had to be Elizabet Sobek’s office. She just knew it. 

Aloy picked up speed, knowing they were close but didn’t get far before her focus picked up on more Eclipse. Luckily, they were below her. All she had to do was stay quiet and they wouldn’t even be alerted to her presence as she made her way across the bridge above them. She turned to Nil and placed a finger over her lips. He nodded, acknowledging that he understood. He kept his steps as light as he could and followed her closely. 

At the bottom of another staircase, another hologram popped up. This time for Apollo, the main database for all of the history of Elizabet’s people. A wellspring of knowledge. Knowledge, that should have been passed down to her people, to all people, but hadn’t. And this hologram mentioned something she had never heard of, a Cradle facility. What was that? 

The Eclipse soldiers she had seen from the bridge were in the next chamber. Her focus had tagged all of their positions and told her a few of them wore the ever-present blaze thanks. She patiently waited for one of them to cross into her line of sight and then loosed a fire arrow. 

As the tank exploded the other soldiers scrambled. The tank had taken out the three on the lower level, but she could see two of the soldiers that remained were heavily armed. 

“Careful, two of them have guns,” She whispered to Nil before entering the room. 

For some reason, these soldiers didn’t seem to want to charge them. They waited in their rooms that split off of the main room. This was the first time they hadn’t outright attacked her when they knew she was there. She found it odd but welcomed the reprieve. She wondered, for a moment, if she could just sprint across without anyone hitting her, but then it would leave Nil open and vulnerable. They would ready their weapons for her but hit him. 

She snuck to the outside of one of the doors and took aim at the soldier in the room across from her. She knew it was risky to be so close to the other heavily armed soldier, but she didn’t see another way that didn’t involve putting either her, or Nil, or both in more danger. 

Once Nil realized what she was doing, he quickly made his way to the other doorway and did the same. She would take out the man behind him and he the man behind her. Again, risky, but what other option did they have?

A moment after their shots landed, gunfire spewed from the doorways. Both her and Nil rolled away from the onslaught. The gunfire had drawn a few more Eclipse onto the upper levels of the room and it was then that Aloy knew they had to move. She hadn’t wanted to sprint across the open area before but with two gunners and two snipers, there wasn’t much choice. 

She signaled to Nil that she was going to make a break for it and he knew well enough not to follow directly behind her. As she sprinted across, all weapons remained on her, so she knew he had stayed behind to wait for his moment to do the same. 

When she was in the clear, she turned around to wait for him. As the gunfire started, Aloy’s gut sank and her heart leaped into her throat. She knew Nil was fast, she just hoped he was fast enough to not get hit. In the few heartbeats it took for him to roll through the door she had grown anxious enough to pull him into a hug when he got to his feet. It was risky. She knew it. Yet, she didn’t care. She didn’t like that him being here was putting him in more danger than she ever anticipated. She knew that if anything were to happen to him here, it would be her fault. She knew she couldn’t have known the Eclipse would make their way into this ruin, but they had before. This wasn’t the first place she’d investigated that the Eclipse had figured out how to get into places that they shouldn’t have been able to.

“I’m alright, Huntress. We need to move.” Nil stroked her hair. His words and his actions letting her know he was just as anxious. He didn’t like that she constantly walked into danger. 

Aloy’s heart swelled. This killer, this crazy Carja worried about her just as much as Avad or Erend, but he knew she would keep pushing forward. Now, he just wanted to be by her side as she did so. 

She released him, but not before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 

She began looking for a place that would take them up to the second level but there didn’t seem to be any stairs or any other way up. In the center of the room was a platform. She wondered if at one time there was a bridge across. She took the ladder up to the top of it and found nothing but a data log from General Harris. It was an admission of guilt. He wanted future generations to know that he felt he was a murderer. That even though he went through with project Zero Dawn, he had never once felt good about it or Enduring Victory. Being the last resort was not going to make anything he did any better, or make him feel his actions were justified. Aloy couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man. How horrible it must have been to know you were sending people to their deaths, making them fight, for a cause they believed would save them all and knowing everything, everyone was going to die anyway. 

It made her mission all the more important. She couldn’t let the events of Zero Dawn happen again. It was a hell of a burden to hold, but she was strong. She would see this through. She wouldn’t stand by and let Hades repeat this horrific event and she wouldn’t stand alone. 

She gathered herself and her thoughts. She didn’t have time to contemplate anything other than getting the codes she came here for. It was her next step in ensuring this didn’t happen again. She took another look around the room and spotted another ladder tucked into an alcove in the wall. That would be her way into Sobek’s office. 

The next chamber held a horror she never saw coming. As the holoprojector began speaking, Aloy felt her heart clench and she felt the overwhelming need to vomit. The words that came out of the projections mouth turned her guts, made her heartsick. Hades was created on purpose. Hades was made to kill all life on Earth. Project Zero Dawn had created Hades as a fail-safe? How? Why? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Why would they go through all of this trouble, sacrificing people, working endlessly, only to create something that could repeat everything they had endured, everything these people spent years trying to correct? Did they learn nothing from the Faro Plague? Did they truly believe this could be an option? Did Sobek believe it? She couldn’t imagine Elizabet would have gone along with this willingly. She couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to repeat the horrors of what they were living at the time. It didn’t make any sense. 

She pushed on, not wanting to think about it or Hades anymore. She needed to fix this. She needed the codes that would allow her to stop this. 

Pressing on, the next room gave her another question to contemplate. She was beginning to hate that the more she knew, the more questions she had. Eleuthia, the supposed ‘crown and king of Gaia’s subordinate functions’, was to somehow create life. Aloy didn’t understand half of what the hologram said, but she had seen enough to know that these Cradle facilities must have been how new people were… made? Much like Gaia was to create and design machines, was it also her responsibility to create all forms of life? Were humans also created by her? If so, were the Nora correct in assuming the All-Mother Mountain was their source of life? Was their religion really so close to the truth of things? Aloy had written it off for so long, had thought them ignorant fools, but now, seeing what these Cradle facilities may have been, knowing where she was found and nothing else, she had to wonder if this may have been how she was brought to this world. But that couldn’t be. Could it?

“Cradle facilities. Elizabet said a new generation of humans would be spawned in such places.” She said these words aloud, hoping wither Nil or Sylens would negate her inner turmoil.

“She did.” Was Sylens’ only response. 

“All-Mother Mountain, it was one of them?”

“There’s only one way to be sure.”

Well, that wasn’t comforting at all. Not that she expected anything Sylens said to be comforting, but she had hoped he would negate some of the thoughts screaming in her mind. “The hatch wouldn’t open. Something… Something about a corrupt Alpha Registry. I need to search Elizabet’s office.”

She had finally made it to her office and was again shocked to find a few holographic logs of Elizabet herself and of Gaia. And another that made her blood boil anew. Ted Faro, it was his idea to create Hades. Of course, it was. She was beginning to see why Elizabet hated him so. He was the cause of all of the destruction then, and he could carry the burden for it now. She didn’t understand how or why Gaia thought this was a good plan, but her response to Faro was what gave Elizabet the push to proceed with the Hades program. 

Aloy knew that when she was finished here, she would have more unanswered questions. She knew she would want to find out everything that led up to Hades release. It seemed that Hades was only supposed to have been a fail-safe if life did not blossom correctly on Gaia’s initial tries. So, why now? Life had been thriving for centuries without any interference. None of this made sense. 

She didn’t have time to mull it over now. She could do all the thinking she needed to once she had the files she came for and was out of danger. 

The door to Elizabet’s inner office had to be pried open, but once inside, Aloy found what she was looking for. A console in the center of the room was lit up and held no signs of corruption. She was lucky. The Eclipse apparently hadn’t ever made it this far. Or they didn’t know what to look for. 

“That Alpha Registry master file.” Aloy couldn’t help the excitement that slipped into her voice at her success. 

“Intact,” Sylens asked.

“Yeah. No signs of corruption.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Copy the file.”

Aloy swiped her hand through the air, bringing up the data logs and whatever else was on the drive. She pressed her finger to the blue down arrow that she knew would give her access to the information stored within this machine. 

“With this, I can restore the registry at the hatch inside All-Mother. Open it, go inside.” Finally, she thought to herself. 

“And grasp the secrets within.” There was an almost wistful air to Sylens response. 

Aloy knew that was what he was after, what he had always been after, but this was going to give her the answers she sought as well. This was going to tell her the reason she was deemed an Outcast so many years ago. It would be the answers to everything. “Where I was born. Maybe… Maybe who gave birth to me…”

“Who,” Sylens asked angrily. “Are you really so naïve? There will be no ‘who’ waiting for you there, Aloy. Whatever birthed you into the world was a ‘what’ not a ‘who’.”

Aloy had already thought this, but she didn’t want to accept it. The fact that Sylens had figured it out too made her angrier. This wasn’t something she wanted to share with him or anyone else. Not until she was ready. And here he was throwing it into her face. “You bastard,” she growled through gritted teeth. 

Nil’s palm spread over Aloy’s exposed back. In all the commotion she had nearly forgotten he was there. Was this something she could tell him? Would he understand? Would he still love her? Would Avad? Would Erend? 

But Sylens wasn’t done yet. “Oh, no. I had a legitimate birth. It is you, Aloy, who is the creation of a machine. But what kind of a machine and why? Why were you created?”

At times she hated the man who refused to show himself in person, but she couldn’t fault his logic, no matter how badly she wanted to rip his head off. She did need to know why she was created more than who created her. There had to be some reason she bore such an incredible resemblance to Elizabet Sobet, why the doors always opened for her. There had to be a reason Hades feared her, why he sent the Eclipse to kill her. 

“Sun and Shadow,” Nil whispered next to her.

She had thought he had put the pieces together and that he was realizing what she was, but when she turned to look at him, he wasn’t looking at her, but through the window behind her. 

Eclipse were pouring into the chamber behind her. This wasn’t good. She finally had the key to the answers she had sought for so long. She wouldn’t abandon her chance. She turned back to the console to see that the download was not yet complete. She wanted to pound on the machine, tell it to hurry but she knew there was nothing she could do. 

“Aloy, we need to go. Aloy!” Nil tugged on her arm, but she pulled away. 

“Aloy! Helis! We need to go!”

She turned just in time to see Helis’ smug face smiling down at her.  
“Nil, run!”

“I am not going to leave you here.”

She turned to face him then. She took his face in her hands and kissed him. “Go! Warn Avad. Tell Erend that he needs to rally the Vanguard. If I don’t make it out of here, someone needs to protect Meridian.”

“I don’t give a fuck…”

“But I do. I care about those people. I love you. Go!”

Nil hesitated for a moment before doing as she asked. She knew it would be much easier for him to blend in with the Carja pouring through the ceiling. And if he was smart, and she knew he was, he could take the Shadow Carja armor from one of the many they had killed throughout their expedition here. 

As she watched Nil escape through the far door, an explosion sounded and rendered her unconscious. When she awoke, it was only for a moment, and only in time to see Helis’ grimace and his boot as it connected with her skull.


	44. Aloy's Demise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy has sent Nil back to Meridian to warn Avad of the coming danger.

Nil ran.

He ran until his breath burned in his lungs, until his legs felt like giving out. Then he pushed himself even further. He had to make it to the Sundom, to Avad. He had to get help. Aloy had told him to help the others. To protect Avad and his kingdom but that was not his goal. If he could make it to Meridian, he would be able to rally who he could to get Aloy back. 

He still couldn’t believe he had left her to Helis. But the look in her eyes told him that she would never forgive him if he got caught, or allowed those she loved to be caught in the crossfire. So, he hadn’t turned back, even though every fiber of his being was telling him to turn around, go to her, save her. 

Finally, unable to push his body any further, he collapsed to his knees. Sweat poured from his face in rivulets and he reached up to wipe it away. The majority of it was on his cheeks and dripping down his neck. It took him far too long to realize that the dampness was not from pushing himself so hard. He was crying. The sweat he had assumed to be blurring his vision was not sweat at all. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried. This was such a foreign response for him that he was unsure what to do now. Had Aloy really affected him so much that she was causing his body to have such an unnatural response?

Nil knew the answer. He’d never actually said the words aloud. He knew he loved her. He’d come close to admitting it before, but something always stopped the words from leaving his lips. 

New tears welled in his eyes at the thought that he may never get the chance to tell her now. That thought had him pushing himself back to his feet. He didn’t care if his body gave out. He needed to reach Meridian and fulfill the only request she’d ever asked of him. 

He stopped, only to refresh himself at a spring. One could not push themselves under the Sundom’s Sun for too long without water or they would make themselves sick, or worse. He remembered Aloy doing just that. And he remembered the days he took care of her as she recovered. He had never thought himself the nurturing type, but it seemed when Aloy was in trouble he couldn’t stop himself. He’d bound her wounds, stood to watch over her, tracked her movements when she thought he wasn’t there. He’d fed and nourished her. He’d wrapped his body around hers to ensure she stayed warm, stayed safe. If he’d had any knowledge of love before this, he would have seen what his actions meant long ago. He’d only thought that she intrigued him. This tiny creature was fierce, smart and incredibly capable in every way. Never had he thought he would meet his match on the battlefield or elsewhere. But watching her, she moved like a silent predator, she thought about every action and reaction. She pushed her body to its limits, but she also knew its limits. 

He thought back to when she would scold him for not preparing in certain scenarios. While they were trapped on the mountain, she’d wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn’t deny his need to be warm. She had told him he’d need warmer clothing, but of course, he didn’t listen. And while in battle, she would pick up things he had forgot to pack, such as keeping his health potions full, or more blaze or wire for his arrows. She cared about him. Genuinely. 

It hurt the deepest places of him to know that in her greatest time of need, she’d sent him away. He kept telling himself it was because she needed him to find a way to save her from the Shadow Carja, not just to protect the others she cared about, but he knew she wouldn’t be thinking of herself. She never did that. Everyone else always came first. He didn’t care that her mission had begun with selfish motivations. She’d never once turned back when she realized her answers would come second to the problem that she was trying to resolve for everyone else. 

When Meridian finally came into view, Nil considered collapsing on the hill and hoping someone would find him. His body was exhausted, his mind in complete turmoil. Never had he felt so emotionally drained. To be honest, never had he felt so emotional. Emotions weren’t a concept he’d grasped before now. They were only something to make one soft, or so he’d thought. But his push through the Sundom was proving that untrue. If he didn’t feel for Aloy, his body would have given out long before now. 

As he made his way to the gates, all of the soldier’s eyes turned to him. They tracked his movement all the way to the gate, where he met great resistance. 

“Halt! And where do you think you are going?” One of the soldiers manning the gate shoved a spear in his face.

Nil was breathless, but he tried to speak. “Avad… please… important.” He couldn’t recall the last time he’d said the word, please. He knew then he was desperate. He had to do what Aloy told him to do. He had to reach Avad.

“Do you really think I would be stupid enough to let a Shadow Carja through the gates? Do you think I would let you anywhere near our King?” The soldier’s eyes hardened and the spear inched ever closer to Nil’s throat. 

Shadow Carja? But he wasn’t… It was then he remembered that he had stolen one of the Kestrel’s armor. He had needed a disguise to make it through the force that had poured into the Cauldron when Aloy was attacked. He groaned aloud. This wasn’t happening. He removed his helmet, but that did little to alleviate the fear in the soldier’s hard eyes. It should have been expected. This man was Oseram after all. 

“You know me,” Nil tried to keep his anger in check, but the growl of his frustration remained.

“All Oseram know you. You butchered our people.” 

Nil could feel the prick of the blade as the Oseram pressed closer. “Then you know who I now serve.”

“Serve? As if anyone could master your insanity. I don’t believe for a second you’ve changed. There is no hope for men like you. 

Nil gripped the soldier’s spear, allowing the tip to dig in and draw blood. “Perhaps you are right. Say you are. Do you think you can stop me? I’ve killed hundreds of Oseram. Do you think this spear, your men will be enough to hold me back from your King? If I wanted his blood, I’d have it. But here I am, allowing you to stay me from my goal. I have no problem shedding your blood to get there. I have no problem destroying anyone who stands in my way. Do you really want to see how far I am willing to go?”

The stand-off between him and the soldier came to an abrupt halt as someone shouted, “Hey, what’s all the commotion?”

Erend made his way through the small crowd. Upon seeing Nil, he smiled, his eyes searching the background for his favorite person. It broke something in Nil. She wasn’t here. And it was his fault. He should have stayed. He should have stopped them. He dropped his grip on the spear and nearly collapsed once more. This time it was the large Oseram’s arms that stopped his knees from connecting with the ground. 

“Nil? What happened? Where is she?” 

Nil could hear the panic in Erend’s voice and for the first time in his life, he wished he had good news to tell the man that cradled his weight against his chest. 

“I don’t know.” His voice cracked with emotion as he spoke. Three small words held the weight of the world. And they weren’t the three small words he wished so desperately to utter. They weren’t even to the one person he wished so desperately to speak to. 

 

Somehow, the large Oseram had managed to drag Nil through the crowd and to the Palace of the Sun. His mind had refused to process anything once those foul words had left his lips and it wouldn’t surprise him to find out later that Erend had slung him over his shoulder to get him there. 

As his mind began to function, he saw they were on Avad’s balcony, a favorite place for Aloy. His anger nearly got the better of him and he slammed his meaty fists through the table in front of him. 

“Well, it seems someone is functioning again.” Avad stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a look of complete authority on his face. Aloy had told him that their meek and soft King could turn on a dime, but he’d only ever seen Avad’s anger once. Even then he wasn’t afraid. He knew the King’s sentence would be light. He’d seen the others hauled off to the new prison, far from the heart of the Sundom. He’d wanted to be gone from this place by then. He’d wanted to disappear from this life and remain forgotten. But now, in this moment, he was sure the wrong words could get him killed. 

“What happened,” Avad growled through gritted teeth. 

Nil stared at his hands. They were bloody now. The glass table hadn’t been kind. It was fitting, these blood-soaked hands. Her blood was surely on his hands. 

“I…” his voice cracked and he tried again, “I don’t know. We went to Sunfall. We found the Cauldron Aloy was looking for. We had the answers she had been searching for and then…” His mind trailed to the look on Helis’s face as he saw the two of them standing there at the console. He looked so smug. Nil’s blood boiled. “Helis,” he growled. 

When his eyes met Avad’s there was no longer anger there but concern. Had they thought that he had done something to Aloy? Of course, they had. It was a well-known fact that Nil didn’t feel. It was also a well-known fact that he suffered from a nearly uncontrollable bloodlust. Or at least, those were the rumors. 

“Start from the beginning,” Erend said as he took a seat next to Nil. The large Oseram placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. 

He was tempted to shrug away from the man’s touch, but he remembered that these men also loved Aloy. He told them about the mishap with the door and how it had alerted the Shadow Carja to their presence. He told them about how they had been forced to fight through the cavernous facility to reach Elizabet Sobek’s office. He left out the parts about Sylens and their arguments. He wasn’t sure what they knew about any of the things that Aloy had learned of herself on these adventures. He knew that he was the only one she’d shared her focus with. 

“Then, as Helis descended from the ceiling she turned to me and begged me to come back and save you. Save Meridian. She was more concerned about getting me out of there and finding you.” He gestured to both of them, letting them know that he was including both the Sun-King and Erend. 

“You left her there,” Avad nearly screamed the words. 

Nil could only nod. “It was what she wanted.”

Avad paced the expanse of the balcony. His face grew redder and twisted with each turn his feet. 

“That’s not all.” 

Avad stopped his pacing and turned to glare at him. Erend looked between the two of them as if waiting for one or the other, possibly both, to explode. 

“As I made my way out of the chamber, there was an explosion. I wanted to go back, to check and see what had happened, but more and more Shadow Carja were pouring in through every hole in the room. I knew if I didn’t get out then, I wouldn’t be able to fulfill what was possibly her last wish.” And there it was, the words he never wanted to say. The words he’d refused to acknowledge through his entire journey to Meridian. 

“Are you saying that she’s…” Avad couldn’t even finish the sentence. 

“I’m saying, I don’t know. I didn’t stay long enough to find out. I heard a commotion as I was leaving Sunfall. They were celebrating something. I don’t know what, but I can’t imagine it was anything good.” Nil brought his bloody hands up to cover his face. He didn’t care that he was going to look like some blood-soaked maniac. He only knew he had failed her. He’d done what she’d asked but he didn’t even know if she was alive. 

“We need to rally the troops. We need to march on Sunfall. Enough is enough.” Erend stood and faced Avad. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Neither one of them was willing to back down and Nil was certain he was seeing the remnants of an old argument. 

Finally, Avad sighed. “You know that isn’t an option. We don’t have the numbers to just leave Meridian. If we take the fight to them, we will be slaughtered. We already know they are planning to attack here. If we abandon Meridian now, all will be lost. As much as I love Aloy and want her back, we can not act foolishly. I can’t risk my kingdom in the hopes of getting her back.”

“Then send us, send the Vanguard.” Erend stood his ground, and Nil could see the strength that Aloy had always seen in him. He was willing to stand up to his King, to the ruler of the entire Sundom for a chance to get her back. He had to admit, it made him think a little differently about the men Aloy had chosen to keep at her side. All of them were formidable, in their own ways. All of them loved her. All of them knew what needed to be done to see her return. It would come down to what strategy they would choose.


	45. The Terror of the Sun, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy talks with Helis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for more in-game regurgitation but I always felt this talk was crucial to the story.

Aloy tried to open her eyes but only managed to get one to crack open slightly. She was hot. Her head pounded. Her body ached. She shifted and more hurts made themselves known. Her arm burned. Her side protested every slight movement. She knew she was bruised all over. It didn’t feel quite as bad as when she’d broken her rib, so she knew these were all wounds she would recover from, but that didn’t make the pain lessen. As she rolled to her back, she endured the pain to try and get some sense of where she was. Her one eye that would open teared as she finally made her way to her back, stopping her from seeing anything. 

She stopped moving. She had to think. What had happened? Where was she? She had been in the Cauldron, trying to get the uncorrupt Alpha Registry, but that’s when things grew fuzzy. 

Nil.

She reached her hand out to search for him. Surely, if she was injured he’d be close by. He’d always taken care of her. Her crazy Carja murderer had a soft spot for her and his nurturing instincts always kicked in when she was in trouble. He would see that she was searching for him and he would come and explain what had happened. 

But he didn’t come. She was alone. 

She couldn’t recall a time when Nil hadn’t been somewhere close by. Even when he’d first begun watching her and had clung to the shadows, she’d pick up his presence on her focus. 

Her focus. She touched the place above her ear where it usually rested. It was gone. Someone had taken it, or it had fallen off. That was more devastating than Nil’s absence. Yes, she loved that crazy man, but the Alpha Registry was on it. The answers to Zero Dawn were on it. All of her travels, her encounters, pictures of Avad and Erend, memories were stored on it. Humorous letters, countless journals from people she’d never even met, but held dear were stored on that device. The only known images of Elizabet Sobek were on that device. 

Tears welled anew. She’d had that device since she was six. It was her only link to the past, to the answer of who her mother was. 

Her mother… It all came flooding back. The fight with Sylens. The Eclipse. Helis. Nil. 

Panic rose in her chest. Again, she tried to open her eyes, but now she remembered Helis’ boot connecting with her head just before everything went black. Ignoring the aches and pains, she pushed herself into a seated position. Her back connected with something that felt like metal bars. She pushed against them, trying to right herself. It at least gave her something to brace her body against. 

She cracked open her good eye again but there wasn’t much to see. It was dark, which made sense. If she hadn’t been out for too long it would still be the same day and she’d arrived at Sunfall later in the day. She was outside, that much she could tell, and voices were coming from a distance away. So, she was secluded but still out in the open. As her eye adjusted to the lack of light, she could also tell she was in a cage of some kind. The bars that she was pressed against had a golden hue, ornate for a prison cell. But she’d seen these cages before. Meridian had a few, they were remnants of…

Her stomach somersaulted in her belly. A buzz rose in her ears. Panic spread through her limbs, causing her body to shake. She was in a cage above Sunfall’s Sun-Ring. This wasn’t good. She knew the implications of this cage. Helis planned to use her as an example. She would be forced to fight in the Sun-Ring. The panic also gave her the strength to stand and look around. She knew she didn’t want to find what she was looking for, but she had to know. 

The knot in her belly let up as she realized the rest of the cages in the near vicinity were empty. No sign of Nil. Did that mean he’d made it out? Or was he already dead? She refused to entertain the latter question. Nil was smart, resourceful. Surely, he’d avoided being captured and had made his way to Meridian. 

And that thought let her sleep a little more. She knew she would need the strength to see her through the coming day. 

 

As the sun rose over the horizon, Aloy stirred. Her body still hurt, but more from stiffness than actual pain. Her eye now opened, if still slightly hindered and the rest of her bruises ached but were no longer the sharp pains of the night before. She stood, stretching the rest of the stiffness from her body. Her neck cracked, her back popped and she found the only tender spots that remained were the side of her face and the spot on her arm that she had used to shield her face from the blast of Helis’ bomb. It wouldn’t scar, but it was irritated, red and angry. There were no blisters though, just singed hairs and tender skin. She shielded it from the Sun, keeping it in the shade of her own body. She knew that it could get worse if she left it in the light. 

Outside the cage, she spotted her gear. She was happy to see it all in one place. Her armor, her pack, her weapons, were all stacked neatly in a small pile. Even her focus. She breathed a sigh of relief to see it glowing in the rays of the Sun. All was not lost.

She tried to stretch her arm through the bars of her ornate cell, but it seemed everything was just out of reach. The strap to her pack was closer and she could get her fingertips to touch it, but she couldn’t get it to move. She knew she had some salve that would help both her eye and her arm, and if she could just…

Footsteps echoed off of the walls of the Sun-Ring. Someone was coming down the stairs. She dropped her hand and took a seat on the far side of the cage. She had an idea of who was coming to greet her, and she didn’t want to look desperate in any way. 

“My entire life, I’ve always known one thing with prophetic certainty. That I was destined for glory as a great champion of the Sun.” 

Aloy had only heard Helis’ voice once, and then he was angry. But now, he spoke in light, soothing tones and it set her teeth on edge. This man shouldn’t have such a pleasant voice. He shouldn’t be able to speak in such a calculated, cool manner. He was a power-hungry madman. It stirred her ire to hear his calm in the midst of this storm. 

“Even when Jiran was murdered, even when Meridian fell, I never doubted my destiny. Until you came along.” His slow waltz down the stairs was as calculated as his words. 

Aloy eyed her weapons. She wanted her bow. She wanted to see her arrow pierce his flesh. To watch as it sank between his eyes and watch the life drain from him. Nil would be proud of that thought. She reached for them again, but to no avail. It was still too far, and Helis much too close. 

“When I heard you had… survived… a doubt took root in my mind. As sure as the Sun rises and falls each day, those I am bade to kill, die. And yet, I failed. How? Why?”

She was face-to-face with him now, and she considered pulling him in, slamming his face against the bars of her cell, but she remembered just how strong the man before her was. She may be able to reach him, but he’d be able to stop her before she could do any real damage. As strong as she was, she was small. She would have no advantage over him while in this cell. 

“With each dig site you attacked, each loyal soldier you killed, this pestering doubt grew. It grew when the High Priest Bahavas went missing. And when the true Sun-King, Itamen, was snatched away, it not only grew, it multiplied. I kept thinking of the moment my knife pierced your throat. One twist, a simple tug of the blade, and you would’ve bled out. In slaughter, I am a practiced hand. So why hesitate? Why fail my destined purpose?” He turned to face her then.

Aloy was more than happy to answer that question for him. “See that scar on your cheek? You didn’t get to finish.” Rost had stepped in and taken the blow meant for her. 

“Yes, I remember. He fought well, for a savage.”

Anger boiled inside of her. Why must everyone refer to her people as savages? “His name was Rost, and he was a better man than you could ever hope to be.”

“The better man is the one who doesn’t end up with his guts steaming on the ground.” Helis let out a small laugh before continuing, “No. It wasn’t him. I could have finished you before he attacked. But I didn’t. This… failing… troubled my thoughts, haunted my every step. It was only when I captured you in that… place, that I finally glimpsed the Sun’s design etched at length across the course of events. You were meant to survive that day on the mountain, meant to interfere at dig sites and kill my men. Meant to eliminate High Priest Bahavas. Meant to snatch Itamen away. Conversely, I was meant to capture you. Here. So that you might die as a sacrificial offering to the Sun. Everything as it was meant to be. Predestined and preordained.” 

The smug look on his face made all she had ever thought of Helis and his men as true as the words she spat next. “You’re an idiot. A dangerous idiot – but an idiot. All this talk of destiny and fate – I’m sure Hades speaks the same language, doesn’t he? You’re being played for a fool. Hades is an ancient machine, not the Buried Shadow of Carja myth. It doesn’t care about Meridian. It wants to kill everything and everyone – and you are its dutiful slave.”

She could tell by the look in his face that she had offended him. That. she was happy about. Maybe he would see some reason after all. But his next words proved just how deep his insanity was seeded. 

“I serve not the Buried Shadow, but the Sun in Shadow. All halves of nature joined to one cause. Shadow to Sun, Dark to Light.” His fervor for his beliefs was evident in the new gleam to his eyes, the way he held himself as he spoke.

“Do you really not hear how ridiculous that sounds? You’ve gone from serving an insane, homicidal Sun-King, to serving an insane, homicidal machine. You’re moving down in the world, not up!” Why was it so hard to get him to see that?

Helis sighed heavily. “I’ll remember those words as I watch your corpse burn. Whatever’s left of it.” He growled the last of those words, anger finally coming to the surface. “You fail to grasp the point. As surely as you have been conquered, so has all doubt. And with certainty of belief comes unstoppable force.”

Aloy jumped to the bars of the cage then, ready to face the man in front of her. She shook the bars as she spoke. “Then let me out of this cage and put your faith to the test. See if things work out like you expect.” She had hoped she’d riled him enough to do something stupid, but that wasn’t to be so. 

He shook his head. “The circle has closed. Every element is in its proper place – exactly where it belongs. The errant beast, now caged, will serve her true purpose. A sacrificial animal.” Helis’ smile grew as the next words left his lips. “Ohh, speaking of sacrifice, I forgot to tell you. After you crashed the Eclipse network, I sent messengers to the east. To rally the forces there and mount an invasion of the ‘Sacred Land’. I ordered every Nora killed. I was hoping to catch you there, but alas, it all seems to have been unnecessary.”

Aloy knew he was just trying to anger her, to get her to act rashly, just as she had done to him. She considered telling him they didn’t matter, that they had cast her out at infancy and meant nothing to her but she couldn’t lie. There were people there that she did care about, Sona, Varl, Teb and Mother Teersa. And regardless of what they had done to her, she still considered them her, or maybe more so, Rost’s people. And they were innocents in this fight. “Why butcher dozens of innocents for no gain? It’s a waste of effort.”

“You’re right. I won’t even be there to enjoy it. In any case, I couldn’t recall the order, even if I wished to. Thanks to your destruction of the network, communication over distances is impossible. You not only doomed yourself but an entire tribe. Do we not see the scorching judgment of the Sun in these events?” Helis bent down to pick up her focus. “Your focus… Such a powerful device, isn’t it?”

Aloy’s heart constricted as he crushed the device in his large fingers. “And yet, so fragile.” He stepped closer to the cage then. He made a sound, akin to an orgasm as if the power he now wielded over her did more for him than anything else. “Ah, so you see… this time, I did not hesitate. The knife has already been twisted.”

As he walked away, Aloy pounded on the bars of her cage. She didn’t want to admit he’d gotten the upper hand, but as she stared down at the broken remnants of her focus, new tears welled to the surface. This was it. He’d won. There was no way for her to enter into the All-Mother Mountain. There was no way for her to continue her search. The focus was the key. 

As her knees hit the floor of the cage, she felt it shift and move into position over the center of the Sun-Ring.


	46. The Terror of the Sun, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aloy faces down the Behemoth and is rescued.

The cage settled above the center of the Sun-Ring. Aloy knew it wouldn’t be long before she was lowered down to face Behemoth that was trampling around angrily beneath her. She beat her fists on the bars of her cage until they were bloody and sore. She attempted many times to reach her bow and pack but only succeeded in making her shoulder sore as it was shoved between the metal bars. She fought back tears as she saw the futility of any efforts she made. Soon, she was simply numb. All thought left her and she stared out into the vast desert and awaited her fate. 

People began filling the seats in the stands that surrounded her. She watched as the minuscule creatures scuttled about. They were like rodents from this height and she imagined being tall enough to crush them under her heel. A few times, she even lifted her hand to pretend she was squishing the skulls of those who came to watch her demise between her fingers. 

Pop. Pop. Pop.

She had nearly fallen asleep when the crowd began to cheer. Aloy knew what was about to happen and she stood to face down her demon as he took up position on the dais of the Sun-Ring. 

“Carja faithful, rejoice! Our years in shadow are over!” Helis boomed over the crowd. He lifted his hands to the Sun. His smug look stating clearly that he was sure he’d won. “A new dawn trembles on the horizon. A new day, soon to break. And when it does, the false Sun-King will be dead, and holy Meridian, ours once more!”

The crowd cheered their new leader. But in the cage, Aloy’s anger burned within. How dare he think to take Avad away from her! How dare he think to take his corruption and false god back to Meridian! No! He would not have either. 

“In this, I have become an instrument of prophecy! All halves of nature joined to one cause. Shadow to Sun, Light to Dark, Night to Day. Behold!”

Aloy turned to where Helis was pointing and saw Corruptors coming up over the ridge of the arena. Many of the Carja in the stands gasped and screamed. People turned to one another in terror. They knew what these machines were, what they were capable of and they were afraid. Aloy found some comfort in knowing that not all of these people knew what the Eclipse had been up to. Not all of them had come to Sunfall to follow these idiots on a suicide mission of terror and destruction. 

As some began to run away, finding any exit they could, Helis tried to calm them. “Hold your seats! Can you not see the proof of the Sun’s blessing before your eyes? How else could shadows such as these, prowl the broad light of day?”

The Corruptors moved in on her and Aloy felt her heart leap into her throat. She had no weapon. She had no corruption tonic. How was she supposed to face down two Corruptors with nothing but her hands and no protection? But, no, they weren’t headed for her. They were headed for the Behemoth that was now tied down. She didn’t remember that happening. Though she had heard people below her, nothing had registered after she sat down in the cage, until Helis came out to address the crowd. 

Then the Corruptors shot their poison into the Behemoth. Aloy watched as it spread over and into the mechanical beast. She could see it trying to resist, fighting off this attack, but it was too late. The once blue coils of the machine were turning red. She couldn’t decide which was worse, two Corruptors or one massive, corrupted beast. The corruption made them quicker, stronger. Behemoths were hard enough to take down without any enhancements and with proper weapons. 

She had to think, to do something, but what? What could she do without her focus? What could she do without her weapons, her armor? 

Aloy had stopped listening to Helis, but the crowd had not. A cheer rang up around her and the cage dropped. She fell to the ground as the bottom opened and released her. If only she’d thought to look there for a release, but she hadn’t. She’d let the loss of her focus make her feel like she didn’t know what to do without it. But the focus was only a device. It didn’t make her decisions, it only showed things she might have missed or fed her new information. It was what she did with that information that mattered. It was her brain that connected the pieces of the puzzle before her. Now, she had to prove to herself that she could find the missing pieces. 

To her great relief, the Corruptors scuttled off, but that still left the Behemoth. Aloy rolled to her back to face the machine and gasped as it roared and stomped. She’d faced these beasts before. They had tried to attack the prison, Sun Stone Rock. She tried to recall what her focus had told her about the machine. The belly was a vulnerable spot, the canisters on its back. Being corrupted, it was now susceptible to fire, though that helped her little with no weapons. 

She sighed. There was no way to defeat this beast without a weapon and hers now rested a good fifteen feet above her head. So, what could she do? 

The beast charged. Aloy barely had enough time to gain her footing and roll out of the machine’s path. Then she did the only thing she could do. She ran. She was fast. She knew if she could keep some distance between her and the Behemoth, she may have some chance of evading it while she came up with some plan. As she ran, she tried to find handholds that would allow her to climb up to her weapons but found nothing but slick stone and metal. 

Suddenly, the trampling behind her stopped. Aloy knew better than to think the beast had given up the pursuit. She knew it was preparing its attack. This machine threw rocks, and not just rocks, but boulders too. So, she found the nearest pillar and ducked behind it. At least here, she could avoid being hit by the larger pieces. She waited until she heard the crash of the first boulder and then the tiny shrapnel-like pieces that followed. Then, she bolted from cover, just as the Behemoth slammed into the pillar. 

The impact of the hit was so intense it knocked the entire platform loose. And just like that, Aloy knew what she had to do. She stepped out of cover and let the beast find her. As it targeted her, Aloy headed for the next pillar. The machine reared behind her and she knew what was coming, but she had to make it to the pillar or her plan wouldn’t work. Luckily, she was only hit with a few of the smaller pieces from the attack. They stung like hellfire, but she wasn’t laid out waiting for the trampling that should have been coming. 

As she rounded the side of the ring, she heard and saw the impact of the Behemoth’s crash and she couldn’t help but smile as the machine turned its attention to the giant cage and platform above its head. It was coming down and if the beast didn’t move, it would be crushed and Aloy’s fight would be over. As it moved out of the way, Aloy charged in. Her equipment would fall and in the dust cloud that billowed up around them, she would equip herself. 

Aloy had never changed so quickly in her life. But now, she had on her Carja leathers, had her bow in hand, her spear strapped to her back and her pack. She downed a corruption tonic and a healing potion. Both giving her a bit of a jolt. It made her feel a little giddy and a lot more confident. 

As she stepped from the dust cloud, she heard the jeering from the crowd. It seemed that they were highly unhappy with the fact that she had emerged from the crash completely unharmed. To antagonize the crowd further, she mimicked Helis stance on the dais, raising her arms to the Sun. The crowd booed and hissed. She couldn’t stop the laugh that welled up inside of her. They knew. Every single person in the stands knew that she now stood a chance of winning this fight. Like her, or not, they had all heard of her prowess with a bow. They called her the machine tamer. This battle was over.

With a new enthusiasm, Aloy drew her bow, aiming it at the beast’s belly. “Hey, guess who got her weapons back,” she yelled at the machine. “Now, you’re just a big dumb target! Come and get it!”

The battle was a long one. Aloy aimed carefully, ensuring she placed her shots where it would do the most damage and then would dodge and roll away from the Behemoth’s attacks. They played this cat and mouse game for some time, exchanged in a back and forth of one outrunning the other and finally attacking. However, Aloy was quick enough to dodge anything that could have seriously injured her, while the Behemoth’s lumbering frame was struck every time. Soon, canisters were flying off of its back, the container on its belly severed. Then, Aloy switched to her fire arrows and every shot gained her a true victory over the corruption as it burned through the virus. 

When the battle was over, Aloy looked up to see the stunned look on Helis’ face. It gave her no small amount of pleasure to see him bested, yet again. All of his talk of destiny and the Sun’s favor was going up in flames around him and she was more than happy to provide him with further proof that his precious Sun favored no one. 

“Silence!” Helis’ raised his hand, trying to gain control of the stunned crowd. 

Aloy stood, awaiting his next move. They stared each other down for a few moments before he gave the order. “Shadows! Kill her!”

The Corruptors leaped from the dais and into the ring. Aloy drew her bow, ready and willing to prove herself again. She’d done this before. When Olin had gone off to his dig site, she’d faced two Corruptors and many Eclipse soldiers just so she could speak with him. If he thought they would gain him victory now, he hadn’t been paying attention. 

“Kill her,” He screamed again. 

Aloy had had enough of this man and his demands, his stupid faith. “Why leave it to them? Come get me yourself!” She was ready to be done with him and his influence. She was ready to sink her spear into his belly and end this feud. 

Just then, the outer gates exploded and wooden splinters rained down around her and the two machines who continued to advance on her. Yet, whatever had just happened, held the attention of everyone in the ring. And to her further amazement, she recognized the Banuk man who came charging through the dust.

Sylens. 

In the flesh.

He pushed his strider into a full run and guided another beside him. Of all of the people Aloy had anticipated would rescue her, he was surely the last. Had she even thought he would at all? No. She hadn’t thought of him once since her capture. They weren’t friends. They were barely acquaintances. Though, that wasn’t really fair either. They helped each other. That was kind of their thing. What Aloy needed, Sylens tended to provide. What Sylens needed, Aloy tended to provide. He’d once called their relationship one based on mutual self-interest. Did rescuing her from Helis still fall under that blanket statement?

Aloy jumped onto the back of the second strider without further thought. If she had questions, they could wait until they were out of the sight of Helis and his Kestrels. 

The Corruptors attempted to attack them but Aloy, and it seemed, Sylens, were adept riders. They dodged the shots of corruption with ease and then, to Aloy’s further astonishment, three Ravagers leaped into the ring. Sylens had brought his own small machine army to assist. Aloy had done this before, overriding multiple machines at once, but never to the extent that she would have a nearly indestructible party at her back. She had to laugh at the thought. 

As they exited the gates, Helis screamed one last thing. 

“Traitor!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys were probably expecting a change in who came to save her but do not worry. They are still coming.


	47. The Terror of the Sun, Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylens and Aloy have escaped Helis and the Sun-Ring. Aloy now has to return to the Sacred Lands but not without aid.

Aloy and Sylens rode in companionable silence for some time following their escape from the Sun-Ring. She had too many other things clouding her thoughts to question why he had come to save her or how he knew where she was. At the forefront of these thoughts was what had happened to Nil? She knew there were much more important things she should be concerned about, but she couldn’t bring herself to care much. She didn’t even know if he had survived. She knew she wouldn’t have the time to race off the Meridian to find out and that ate at her too. If he had survived, he would have gone straight there. And if he had pushed through to Meridian, then Erend and Avad would have been told about what had befallen her at Sunfall. She needed to make haste to the Sacred Lands but she also needed to ensure those she loved knew she was alive and well and she needed to know the same. 

Sylens' pace slowed and it took Aloy a moment to realize he was stopping. She didn’t know why. They still had quite a ways to go. As she turned her Strider around, she saw he was deep in contemplation. Whatever was on his mind had Aloy mentioning the one thing she had always faulted him for. 

“So, you’re here. Really here. You risked your life.” 

Sylens glared at her for a moment. “Of course, I did. If you’d have been killed, the Nora’s Sacred Mountain would have never given up its secrets.”

This man’s cruelty knew no bounds. He had saved her only so he could continue using her. Here she was thinking that maybe he was actually beginning to care what happened to her, but no. She was simply a prize, a weapon, a tool. 

“Too bad you wasted your time. Helis destroyed my Focus and the Alpha Registry with it.” She was tempted to turn her Strider away and continue on to the Sacred Lands without his aid. She knew if she ever saw the man face to face, she’d want nothing more than to punch him.

Sylens laughed then, a small one, but enough to turn Aloy’s attention back to him. “Not at all. The whole time I’ve been monitoring your Focus, I’ve duplicated every data file you’ve scanned. Installing that data to a new Focus was trivially easy. ‘Happy birthday, Isaac. Daddy sure does love his little big man.’ He tossed a new Focus to her and she nearly dropped it in her shock. 

She hadn’t heard those words in so long. It used to be her favorite find. Amongst all of the data her Focus had collected, it was the first and the one she watched when she wished for a family of her own. Of course, Sylens must have known this. There were little collection ticks anytime a file was opened. It always showed her, her most viewed files first. Among them were favorite pictures of beautiful landscapes, photos of Avad, Erend, and Nil. Audio and video recordings of times long since past and even one of Rost fishing. That was the first time she’d realized she could capture a video log. He’d had no idea what she was doing, so he sat there and took in the gentle breeze and the cool crisp air. It was him in his element. 

“You’re really good at making it impossible to like you. But I guess I need this.” She wouldn’t let him know what some of those images meant to her. She placed the device on her ear and felt a calm settle over her as if she had reattached a piece of herself that had been missing for far too long. 

Sylens smiled then. “It’s time to see where you were born. Maybe even learn why.”

Aloy’s frustrations with the man piqued again. “Yeah. Meet the machine that birthed me into this world. Isn’t that how you put it?”

He shut down then, turning his strider away from her. “I’ll be off.”

“Wait,” Aloy said suddenly. Not even sure why she was unwilling to let him wander away.

He turned back to her then. “Yes.” 

She wasn’t sure what she wanted to ask him. Many thoughts and questions ran through her mind. She was about to ask but then their attention was drawn to the not so far off distance. A cloud of dust rose, signaling an oncoming horde. Aloy froze. Sylens watched in silence. Both of them seemed wary of whoever was coming. 

“Shadow Carja,” she asked.

“Not likely. Coming from the wrong direction.” 

This eased a bit of her nerves and she pressed on. “Helis recognized you back in the Sun-Ring. You told me that you’d assisted the Eclipse. Not that you knew the men who killed my… who almost killed me.” She had almost said her father, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being able to correct her again. Rost wasn’t her biological father and he knew that. It would be one more thing he could throw in her face. 

“So, now you know. The man is a serious threat. So let’s do all we can to make sure he and Hades do not succeed.”

She didn’t know what she expected him to say. Maybe some form of argument or some admission of guilt, but as always she got nothing. She sighed, “Right.”

She knew she would get no further answers from him and the dust cloud was drawing ever closer, making Sylens antsy. It was apparent that he did not want to be seen, even if they had just surmised that these people weren’t likely Shadow Carja. 

“I’ll be on my way. To make matters worse, Helis ordered an Eclipse detachment to attack the Nora Sacred Land. The tribe’s already weak. They won’t stand a chance. You should come with me.” She knew a fighter lay under his intellectual façade. He wouldn’t have gotten this far if he weren’t. 

He huffed. “Absolutely not. I have preparations to make elsewhere. Besides, it looks like you may have more help than you thought.” He gestured to the crowd of men that still drew closer to their position. 

Her eyes still weren’t at their best and she tried to squint through the blazing sunlight to see what Sylens meant, but she couldn’t make out what he was trying to tell her. 

Before setting his heels into his Strider he handed over one last gift, Shadow Carja armor. He said it would help her should she need to return to Sunfall or Shadow Carja territory. And then he apologized for being needlessly cruel about who or what her mother may be, telling her he did hope it was a who, not a what. That lifted her spirits somewhat, but not as much as the next thing she caught sight of. 

Avad’s banner, along with the banner of the Vanguard swung proudly in the hands of the men coming toward her. And at the head of these men, two figures sprinted toward her. One was bulky and in heavy armor. He couldn’t quite keep up with the man ahead of him but he pushed just as hard. 

Aloy jumped from her seat on the Strider. Tears sprang to her eyes as the sun’s gleam caught on the white of the Carja armor, made the red feathers glisten. She never thought she would be so happy to see that stupid headdress. He was alive! And he had brought the whole of the Vanguard with him, Erend included. 

She raced forward. The tears made her swollen eyes ache but she didn’t care. She needed to touch him, to make sure the Sun wasn’t playing tricks on her. She needed to hold him, to kiss those thick lips and to know he was real. After her battle with the Behemoth, her legs ached, but she pushed through. She would make it to him, even if she collapsed into his arms. 

As they closed the distance to each other, Aloy was rewarded with one thing she thought she’d never see. Nil was smiling. A genuine ear-to-ear smile. The last few days must have been just as hard on him as they were on her. To see emotions from him in any capacity was more than she had anticipated and made fresh tears bubble to the surface. 

When she was close enough she leapt into his arms. She didn’t know she had the strength left, but somehow she made it and neither of them could help the laughs that sprang from them as they collided. Nil swung her around and buried his face in her neck as she wrapped her arms around him. 

“I love you, Aloy. I love you.” He kept repeating the words like a mantra. 

Aloy began to believe she would never stop crying. Her heart felt lighter than it had in a very long time, but they continued to spill down her face. With each new revelation the moment brought, it was like a wall was broken letting the rains pour and wash away all of the hurt and pain of the last few months. Hell, the last few days. Neither one of them had been certain that the other had survived. She knew he had made it out of the room before Helis’ bomb went off, but nothing past that. He must have thought the same when he heard the explosion behind him. 

When he put her down, she pulled him into a deep kiss. Her heart exploded. She couldn’t contain how she felt about him any more than he could. “I love you, too. Everything about you.”

The moment was broken, but in no way ruined by the sound of someone else coming up behind them. She turned to the sound and opened her arms. Erend pulled her into a tight hug and the tears started anew. 

“Fire and spit, Aloy. You have got to stop doing this to me. This is the second time I thought you may be dead.” 

He squeezed her so tight that his armor started to hurt but she didn’t care. He was here. She had her rock to see her through this next phase. She had the Vanguard at her back. She had Nil. She might be able to give the Eclipse a real fight.


	48. A Shared Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night at camp before heading to the Sacred Land.

They made camp that night and everyone was in high spirits. Aloy, because she was surrounded by people she loved. Nil and Erend, because they had the love of their life back and she was relatively unharmed. And the Vanguard, because they had plenty of Scrappersap and nothing better to do now that Aloy was safe. She still couldn’t believe that Avad had allowed Erend to come after her, to abandon Meridian. But, it also didn’t surprise her in the least. She was certain that if Avad could have come himself, he would. She would need to stop along the way and write to him, let him know she was safe, for now. He would also need to be made aware of her plans. 

Aloy had told Erend and Nil what had happened once Nil had escaped during their short journey to a nearby campsite. She could see the toll it took on Nil as she rehashed the moments leading up to him leaving. Even more so when she told them what Helis had done. When she mentioned the blow she had taken, Erend reached out his hand to stroke the bruise on her cheek. Then, he placed kisses all around the tender area. It warmed her heart to know he did care that she had been injured. So often he seemed ready to throw her into the fray. She had to remind herself, it wasn’t because he didn’t care. He was confident in her abilities. He knew she would always find a way out, a way to survive. 

They made sure to get out of Shadow Carja territory, but everyone was too exhausted to go much further than that. Their makeshift camp was a meager one, everyone being told to take only what they could carry. There would be little rest for the men who came on this journey and they could sleep under the stars. Of course, for the Vanguard that included alcohol. Aloy shook her head as the men passed it around the fire. 

Once everyone was settled, they began to share stories. Most of them were humorous things she’d missed while away. The ordeal with the Carja nobility committing lewd acts in public had become quite the sensation, especially since finding out that the Captain of the Guard and the Anointed one had done so themselves. They had been arresting people left and right and their excuses were always the same. If she and Erend could get away with it, then why couldn’t they? 

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh at that. She found it so amusing that people were willing to follow whatever she did. She’d even seen some of the nobility with braids in their hair and wearing Nora colors after she had saved Avad from Dervahl. She didn’t think she would ever get used to any of it. 

She was further surprised to find out that Nil had pushed himself to the brink to reach Meridian. While Erend spoke about the encounter, Nil seemed to shy away from what was said. He turned away from them, not wanting to hear any of it. She knew it was because Erend was describing in full detail his mental breakdown from losing her. Emotions weren’t something he dealt with well, or at all, really. Yet, she’d seen him smile, she’d seen him cry and now she was being told he showed a full range of emotion during his short stay in Meridian. She was so sorry to be the source of all of his pain. Yet, she couldn’t help the swelling she felt in her heart that this man actually cared enough to tear down his own walls in the face of all that had happened. 

She reached out and took Nil’s hand and he turned to face her. She tried to smile at him, but only got the blank face he’d always given her. It took her far too long to realize that he was embarrassed. All of this talk about emotion, and he didn’t know what to do with any of it. She wanted to coax it out of him again but she would wait. In their current company, she knew it would only anger him, make him shut down. 

Stroking his arm, she leaned in and whispered, “You want to go hunt us some dinner?” 

He hesitated, which she found odd, but then he took in the crowd around them and nodded his assent. He knew she was giving him an excuse to leave, to not be forced into this uncomfortable situation with other people discussing his emotions but she could also tell that he really didn’t want to leave her side. 

When he stood to leave, she followed him to the edge of the camp.

“Nil?” She reached out an arm to stop him.

“Don’t. I’ll go. It’s okay.” His voice held a sharp edge. 

“Nil, I am not sending you away. I just thought you’d like the chance to get away from this.” She gestured to the group gathered around the fire behind them. 

Nil cast an uneasy glance to the group, then back to her. “I thought I had lost you. My blood boiled with rage. My mind clouded with uncertainty. I… I cried.” 

Aloy wrapped her arms around the big man. “So did I. I woke up in the cage not knowing where I was, unable to open my eyes. You know what my first instinct told me?”

He shook his head.

“That if I was injured, you had to be close. That you would protect me. I reached for you, called for you. It took me a while to realize what had happened. For days I had no idea what had happened to you. Did you escape? Did you make it to Meridian? Those thoughts haunted me the entire time I was held captive. I was more worried about you than what may happen to me.” 

Nil’s features seemed to soften with every word she spoke, every gentle caress of her fingers on his back. “You trust me, too much, Huntress.” 

Aloy couldn’t help but laugh. “I think I trust you the right amount. You may be a little insane but I like it.”

He kissed her cheek and this time left with the hint of a smile on his face. Even after her earlier display, he still needed reassurances that she cared. She was going to have a hell of a time with him now that he’d let it be widely known that he was capable of emotion. She just hoped it wouldn’t lead to anything too bad. She didn’t need the men in her life adding to the chaos. She’d asked them to be with her because they alleviated it. But, she had to admit, as perfect as she thought they were sometimes, they all had their flaws. Erend was a recovering alcoholic. Avad was somewhat controlling. Nil was a bit of a kook. Any of those things could take a downhill turn. But she was willing to deal with it all and she was proud to call each one of them hers. 

She was about to head back to camp when she felt cool hands grip her arms. They didn’t stay there long. Erend wrapped his arms around her. “Steel and stone. I have missed you, so much.” He spun her around.

His kiss was soft, tentative, so unlike him. Aloy didn’t like it. That was not the way he was supposed to kiss her. She pulled him in closer and kissed him the way he had always kissed her. That was all the invitation he needed. His tongue darted between her lips and she returned the gesture. His hands found her waist and it was all she could do to stop him there. It would do neither of them any favors if they fell on top of each other here, out in the open, in front of the entire Vanguard. She could already hear the jeers and catcalls coming from the camp just a few feet away. Only a few of his soldiers had ever seen them like this and it wasn’t something she wished to repeat. It was already causing issues in Meridian.

“I have missed you, too. I’m glad you’re here now.” She ran her fingers through his beard, something she knew he liked. 

He pressed into the touch as if he had been deprived of it for too long. She understood. She had started to realize she wanted all of the men in her life with her all the time. She knew it wasn’t possible, but she would take what they were willing to give. Avad’s duties kept him in the palace. Erend’s place was at Avad’s side. And Nil was a loner. No matter how she looked at it, she knew she would always be deprived of one or two of them at any given time. 

They made their way back to the campfire. Aloy clung to him like a lifeline and Erend leaned into her, placing kisses on her forehead. Even though she wasn’t willing to give the men around them a show, she couldn’t seem to stop touching him. There was something about nearly losing everything that made her realize how much he meant to her. She hadn’t been able to be with him much during her last few stays in Meridian. It was her doing. She knew that. Though it made her feel slightly guilty and a little selfish, she would never regret her time with Avad. She just wished that the time spent with him didn’t equal to time away from Erend. 

Nil wasn’t gone long. He came back with a few rabbits and turkeys. She wondered if it would be enough. All of the men of the Vanguard were quite large and while she and Nil were used to meager meals, she didn’t think these men had seen a small meal in their lives. Yet, as the meat was split amongst them, it seemed to stretch and all of them had full bellies by the end of the meal. 

As dinner was winding down, everyone began rolling out their bedrolls and taking up places around the fire. It was starting to cool down at a rapid rate. Aloy had always hated that about the desert of the Sundom. It would be blistering hot all day, but once the sun had set, there would be an insane chill in the air, as if the sun’s absence was mourned by every fiber of the Earth. While she had grown up in colder climes, she had also not been back to the Sacred Lands for some time. And thinking of the weather there reminded her, she had yet to tell Erend and Nil about the next step in her plans. 

“Erend, there is something I need to ask you.” 

The smile that had been plastered across his face for the last hour faltered as he took in her nervous state. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

This caught Nil’s attention as well, and it brought him to her side. He squatted down in front of her and took her hands in his. “Huntress,” he questioned. 

“I need your help.” She looked to both of them, giving them her most pleading look. 

She explained that while she and Nil had been exploring the ruins, Helis had sent out a kill order on all Nora, in hopes she would be caught in the crossfire. They were supposed to be hunting her, yet, she was caged in Sunfall. With her destruction of their Focus network, she had allowed the kill order to stand. There was no way for Helis to rescind the order and he didn’t care if the Nora fell or not because of it. 

“I have to go back. I have to help them, if I can.” She could feel the tears welling in her eyes. This was the second time these people had been attacked because of her, and while she still wasn’t sure whether or not she considered them her people, they were innocent in all of this. 

Erend was quick to agree to go with her, but there was one thing she had yet to tell him and she was afraid of his response. She wasn’t sure how much Nil had picked up during her one-sided conversation with Sylens, but he at least had an idea of what she was about to say.

“There’s more.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. She hoped that Erend would understand and he wouldn’t think her some kind of freak, some repugnant thing. “I will be going into the Nora’s Sacred Mountain. You know this journey started because I needed to find out who my mother is, or was. I found some information about Cradle facilities. I may have never had a real mother. I may have been born of a machine.” 

There, it was out. She had spoken the words that Sylens had embedded in her brain. What had birthed her was a what, not a who. She held no hope anymore of finding a real person. The delusion had pushed her for a while, but the more she found out, the less likely it seemed every day. There would be no woman waiting for her inside the Mountain. Elizabet Sobek was long dead. That was apparent. She had no faith in Sylens’ cryogenics. She still didn’t understand half of what he had attempted to explain about the process, but even if she had found some way to prolong her life, she couldn’t be alive centuries later. 

“Aloy, what do I care about where you were born or who your mother was or wasn’t? You are here and you are the most amazing person I have ever met.” Erend cupped her cheek and kissed her, letting the words sink in deeper. 

“You bleed, Aloy. I’ve seen the crimson evidence of your existence many times. You may fight like a machine, but you are flesh.” Nil stroked her arm, then gently scraped her skin with his dagger. A small well of blood crept to the surface. It didn’t hurt, not really, and the evidence was there, blooming before them. 

She smiled and Erend scowled. He didn’t like Nil’s way of showing her who she really was, but Aloy did. If a dagger could pierce her skin so easily, and she bled, was she not human? 

Not wanting to think about it anymore, she stood and made her way to the two bedrolls they had laid out and pulled them closer to each other. Then she took the small blankets and made one large pallet for them to share. When she was satisfied with her work, she began stripping off her armor. 

“Aloy?” 

She could hear the protest in Erend’s voice but she ignored it and tucked herself under the covering. 

“Are you coming?” She patted each unused side of the pallet. 

Nil and Erend looked to each other, neither one making a move to join her. 

“Get your stubborn asses down here and lay down with me. Get over yourselves. I need you both. And I am very tired.” She yawned, exaggerating her point. 

Nil was the first to begin removing his armor, followed reluctantly by Erend. Aloy had to conceal a laugh as they continued to side-eye on another. Erend began muttering obscenities under his breath and she could hear Nil begin to growl under his breath. Neither of them really wanted to share their bed with the other. 

She was aware she was asking a lot of two men who had previously hated each other and were only willing to tolerate each other for her sake. However, she was not willing to choose one over the other at this moment. She wanted them both and she was determined to have it. 

“How is this supposed to work? Are you going to expect us to do this every night?” Erend scowled at Nil and he grimaced in return. 

“Oh, cut it out. Come lay down.” She pat one side, gesturing for Erend to lay there. 

When he finally did, she rolled to face him and then eyed Nil until he laid down behind her. He made no move to scoot in close, so she reached behind her and took his hand, pulling it and him until he was wrapped around her. Then she wrapped herself around Erend. 

Erend jumped when he felt Nil’s hand press into his side. “Nope, hu-uh.”

He tried to pull away, but Aloy clung to him and wouldn’t let him squirm away. To make matters worse, Nil wiggled his fingers. She was about to berate the man, but then she felt his soft chuckle in her ear. She couldn’t help but join him. 

This seemed to settle Erend’s nerves as well. He groaned, but scooted closer, allowing Nil’s hand to be trapped between them. 

Aloy’s heart swelled again at what these men were willing to do for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on Tumblr @sun-and-shadow-aloy.


End file.
